STEVE HARRINGTON ★ @shatterxdsouls
BEING TORN BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE WAS FAR WORSE than it sounded like. maybe part of him should feel lucky , should feel somewhat flattered , but it wasn‘t like this at all. it felt like everything pulled on his heart strings , that no matter what he would do , who he would choose to be with , was going to be a big ass mistake. being with billy was … the worst and best thing that could have happened to him , because he had been ripped away from him so brutally , so fast and it wasn‘t helping they were seeing each other in secret , because there was no way he could tell anyone , no way he could be mourning him openly and it left a hole in his heart that never seemed to be able to be stitched up. and then eddie came along , like a whirlwind he had been swept off of his feet by him. he somehow mended his broken heart back into a piece and now.. he was left confused. „ you … “ , he started , but what was the point to tell eddie he could stay for as long as he wanted , that he always had a roof over his head here , when he clearly ..wanted out , but he couldn‘t blame him , not after what he had witnessed.
of course he hadn‘t known .. hadn‘t planned on billy to come back to life , magically turn on his door and it hurt , but he couldn‘t tell him to turn on his heels and leave. he never could do that. he exhaled a deep breathe , as he followed steve , feeling his heart sank when he left eddie out there by himself. carefully steve approached billy , moving to settle next to the tub and he clenched his jaw as he slowly nodded. „ yeah i have to. you could have easily told him to fuck off , i am actually surprised you did not. “ , he almost laughed , but he could feel the overwhelming guilt again when billy pointed out that he seemed to be important , how he had died and he quikcly rubbed over his eyes in order to not let them fall. billy had been through hell and back , he had no right to bawl his eyes out , because his supposed dead boyfriend showed up , when he just had sex with someone else , someone that was carrying his heart too and he exhaled a shaky breathe as he pushed himself on his knees so he could help billy out , grabbing the shampoo and softly massaged it into his hair
steve immediately shook his head as he carefully washed out his hair , trying not to cause too much of the water get over his wounds and he looked at him. „ i … no. i don‘t want you to leave. i don‘t want you to go. or eddie to leave , but..he probably will. “ , steve sighed and shrugged with his shoulders. steve made sure everything was out of his hair , before he told billy he‘d grab some fresh clothes from his drawer and he pushed himself back on his feet , before taking one glance at billy again and headed to his room to grab the clothes when he saw eddie sitting there and he could feel once again the stab through his chest , the nagging feeling he was going to do something wrong , no matter what happened. he opened his mouth to say something , but what was he going to tell him ? that he couldn‘t just leave billy all by himself , that he couldn‘t throw him out of the house and that he had to endure knowing they had something before ? he swallowed the lump in his throat as he moved towards the drawer and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a hoddie , pressing his lips together.
„ i never meant for any of this to happen. like..i..if i knew he was still alive. i would have never.. “ , he blurted out after a few moments of silence and he shut his eyes for a moment , before he clung to the clothes in his hands , pressing his lips together , back still faced to eddie. „ it‘s not.. what we have… had. .. it does mean something to me and i know it‘s not fair. this is a whole bullshit show and i‘m really sorry that..that i‘m putting you through this. i know you just wanna get out of here , i get it , but … you can‘t just leave without a plan. if you have one.. i‘ll do anything i can to help.. i‘m not going to force you to stay here. “ , he explained and he exhaled another shaky breathe , could feel his fingers tremble as he dug his tips deeper inside the clothes and he didn‘t even wait for an answer , too scared what it might be , that it would only break him more and tear him even further apart , he left his room again and headed back to the bathroom , settling the clothes on the sink. „ here..the clothes…do..you need help getting dressed or do you want to be alone ? “
BILLY DIDN'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO FIGHT WITH ANYONE, especially when he had no right to do so. Once upon a time, he would have punched Eddie right in the face for daring to touch Steve, for even breathing in his direction. Not any more. Not after all he'd been through and all the time he'd had in the upside down to really reflect on the person he was becoming. A person like his father. The one person he didn't want to be anything like. If he reacted poorly to Eddie and Steve he knew it wasn't going to win Steve's favor. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair to either of them, or Eddie. Billy hadn't come here with expectations, and the kindness Steve was showing him was the best he could have hoped for. They would figure this out, somehow. They usually did.
He closed his eyes as Steve worked the shampoo from his hair, eyes closing as fingers massaged his scalp. When this was over, he was going to cut it off, say goodbye to part of the person he was before the Mindflayer. He wasn't upset about it. It was just hair. The rat's nest it had become from months in the upside down was unsalvagable. Billy stayed quiet as Steve rinsed the shampoo from his hair. ❝ I know you don't want him to leave. You should get him to stay, ❞ he said softly. The most important thing in that moment was making sure Steve didn't feel guilty over anything. He shouldn't. There was no reason for it. He watched through half opened eyes as the brunette left the bathroom to get clothes for him.
EDDIE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIMSELF once he was back in Steve's room. He was surprised that Steve wanted him to stay, even more surprised that Billy had also told him to stay. And when Steve came into the room the internal struggle was evident on his face. Eddie felt bad for having caused him any confusion or pain. Honestly he'd been doing what he thought was best. It didn't mean he didn't hurt over the idea of being pushed to the wayside, but Eddie also knew that Steve had been very much in love with Billy Hargrove. That was clear from how the other brunette acted when Billy showed up on his front door. Who was Eddie to deny him that second chance?
❝ Steve, just... ❞ Eddie broke off when Steve started speaking, telling him that he shouldn't leave without a plan. The metalhead felt his heart seize for a moment. It felt like Steve was just...resigning himself to letting Eddie go in favor of Billy. Even if he hadn't wanted to force Steve into a choice, he'd at least hoped the decision would be a litle more difficult for him. Eddie supposed he could go to Dustin's for a little bit. Just until he figured out his next move. Dwell in the kid's basement for a week and then move on from there. He didn't get the chance to tell any of that to Steve; however, because he left abruptly with clothes in hand. Eddie figured that was it then. They'd ended before they'd even really begun.
BY THE TIME STEVE RETURNED TO THE BATHROOM, Billy had washed off the rest of the grime and dried blood. He carefully climbed out of the tub and dried off, wrapping a towel around his waist. He smiled faintly at his boyfriend and took the clothes from him. ❝ You don't have to leave, ❞ he said, shaking his head. He was slow and careful as he dried the rest of his body off and put the clothes on. There was an elephant in the room that needed to be addressed. Billy knew the longer they avoided the issue the more complicated it was going to get.
Billy cupped Steve's cheek gently and leaned in to kiss him gently. ❝ What are you gonna do, Steve? ❞ he asked, blue eyes searching his boyfriend's dark ones.