simon paled as vladimir stepped closer, towering over him, forcing his head to crane back to keep their gazes locked together. something close to fear twisted in his stomach. his eyes widened, the unease at vladimir’s closeness written all over his features, though he did not step away. his anger still burned too hot for that, fingers curling into fists so tight that his fingernails made crescent-shaped indents in his palms, blood starting to trickle from between his digits.
vladimir made him feel so small, so powerless. he always had, in a way, but it had felt safe, then. there had been a gentleness to it, a promise that the other would take care of him, would protect him, would give him everything he wanted if he just held good and still and tilted his head back just so, baring his neck to welcome the bite.
there was none of that, now. in the way vladimir stood over him, in the way he grabbed his collar, pulled him closer, shoved him away– there was only the assurance that simon would never be strong enough to stand up to him, never smart enough, never fast enough.
vladimir’s shove had made him stumble, and he’d fallen into his back. it only made it worse, this feeling of powerlessness. simon looked up at the man he had put all of his trust into, whose hands he had trusted to keep him safe, and felt only a burning ire.
" i hate you. "
the words fell from his tongue before he had even thought them through, each syllable filled with so much fury nobody could doubt that he meant them. simon pushed himself up, stumbling, willing his legs to be steady as he raised himself up to his full height, though even that barely made him reach vladimir’s chin. his eyes were wet, which he hated, the weakness in him laid bare in the tears that pearled in his lash line and streaked the splotches of dried blood on his cheeks as he spoke again.
" i never– i never asked for this. i never wanted this. you never gave me a choice, vladimir ! maybe– maybe i would have rather died, maybe i would have preferred that to living like this, to having to spend every moment hungry and feeling like a fucking monster ! "
he was breathing hard, his voice unsteady as he forced the words out. simon wasn’t speaking as much as he was blubbering, fist raising to pound against vladimir’s chest. " you did this to me ! you– you made me this, and now– now you want me to earn you ? to– to show that i’m worthy of being under your boot for the rest of my life ? “ he was being unfair and he knew it, but that did not stop him from curling his lip and throwing every angry thought that came to him at the other. “ you should be begging for my forgiveness, vladimir ! you– you should be the one on your knees, clinging to my ankle, begging me to forgive you for what you did to me ! for breaking your promises ! “
