Hennski

AO3@ Hennski | 26yrs | she/her Final year med student BSD and AFTG enthusiast

[sensitiveheartless]

[hennski]

I keep circling back to the idea of writing a meta analysis about one Mr. Jeremy Knox and the song "One" by Harry Nilsson.

I have this headcanon: Jeremy is never alone, but he is always lonely. Surrounded by people—teammates, friends—and yet he has never been anyone's first anything.

Leo chose a car over him. A car. Because apparently a car had more worth than his relationship with Jeremy.

He third-wheels with Cat and Laila—his best friends, his found family, his people—and they love him, they do, but he orbits them. In the end they have each other while Jeremy never seems to be someone people want to engage in a relationship-esque way with.

(I also like to think his siblings wish he'd been the one to die instead of Noah. Not even they choose him.)

The song says "One is the loneliest number."

Jeremy's jersey number isn't "1," though. Maybe being captain makes him formally number one—but it isn't.

His number is 11.

But here's the thing: what is eleven if not two ones?

Two ones that add up to a two in sum. (Two can be as bad as one. It's the loneliest number since the number one.)

11 is two lonely numbers pressed together, each trying to keep the other company. Shoulder to shoulder on the back of his jersey. A matched set of solitude.

[jordiipordii]

Neil who hates his hair so Andrew makes it a point to quietly help Neil care for it ie buying good shampoo brands, helping Neil comb out the knots; running his fingers thru it at night.

Neil who hates his eyes so Andrew will drop nonchalant comments about how “they look much better than those shitty contacts you used to wear.” Andrew who knows others agree.

Neil who hates the scars on his face so Andrew will trace over them with the pads of his fingers; will allow the tip of his nose to brush over Neil’s burn scar on his way up to kiss Neil’s temple, because they both enjoy kisses on spots where feeling each other’s pulse is possible.

Neil who hates the constant reminders of his father and Andrew who remains so smitten bcs all he could ever possibly see is Neil.

[hennski]

The Price of Excellence (186.930 words | complete | university au fic)

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[sunslck]

[tswizzlesfan]

jeremy knox your smile is too big your heart too pure your ass too fat your thighs too juicy your aura too cunty your boyfriend too hot. they'll kill you.

[elainiisms]

meeee

[yebyyhfushi]

[mackerel22]

Chuuya: What are you doing?

Dazai, eating a cake at 3am in the bath with a knife: My best.