Mother Program HERA

I'll answer questions as soon as I can seeing as I'm so busy with keeping a large complicated ship floating and trying not to accidentally kill three fragile humans.(Unofficial Inde RP Blog for the podcast Wolf 359)

[hephaestushera]

Another year, same star

Happy birthday to me I guess.

Eiffel says it's important to celebrate. Hard to find things to celebrate about.

One day at a time

[eclipse-song]

thinking about Douglas Eiffel and his beloved robot wife

[hephaestushera]

How about that finale? Over a year later and I’m still not over it.

(OOC: HOly shit I kNOOOOOOW. it is the death of me. I need to relisten to it honestly, maybe drag another friend into this super late ahaha.As for this blog, it will forever remain in the season one stasis, but hey, no one is sending asks anymore anyways so [shrug] )

[hephaestushera]

(( Mod here. Blog isnt dead, just needs questions/interaction>.)) ((To be fair though, I havent had time to do much of anything to begin with soooo.....I’m sure i could spend some time arting for a question here and there. I have 1 that I’ve been sitting on thats a singing one and that because I want to maybe try some recording....MAYBE. But otherwise I’m empty.)) ((Also, quick poll. Are you all cool with me drawing Hera the way she is now or do you think you’d prefer a hologram projection of her? Send me an ask and LMK. ))

[princess-peachie]

Steven Universe ask prompts~

Steven: What makes you starry-eyed? Garnet: What are your relationship goals? Amethyst: How do you compare to people’s expectations of you? Pearl: What’s been your lifelong obsession? Rose Quartz: What traits from your parents do you see in yourself? Greg: The most supportive person in your life just now? Connie: A series you’re super passionate about? Lion: If you had infinite pockets, what would you carry with you at all times? Sadie: What’s your relationship with your workmates like? Lars: Name a few of your insecurities. Ronaldo: Favourite conspiracy theory? Lapis Lazuli: Which element would you control? Peridot: Describe a day where everything went wrong. Jasper: What brings out a mean streak in you? Mayor Dewey: What’s your position on the political compass? Onion: If you could replicate anything 100 times, what would you make copies of? Cookie Cat: Do you miss any discontinued products? Dogcopter: Ever enjoyed a movie adaption of a book you like? Ruby: Describe a person who would be the polar opposite to yourself. Sapphire: Your trademark feature that people recognise you by? Opal: Something you’ve been anticipating for a long time? Sugilite: The most reckless thing you’ve ever done? Alexandrite: What do you think you’d be like/are like as a parent? Malochite: A toxic relationship you’ve been in? Rainbow Quartz: Something you love to show off? Stevonnie: What do you and your best friend totally bond over? Centipeedle: Have you ever helped/rescued a wild animal in trouble? Sour Cream: Invent a new food-related nickname for yourself. Jenny: Favourite pizza topping? Peedee: The moment you realized you weren’t a kid anymore? Jamie: The most romantic thing someone’s done for you? Buck Dewey: Share the last picture that made you laugh. Mr Smiley: Favourite type of donut? Kofi: Ever had an item special to you that got broken? Nanefua: What do you think you’ll be like when you’re much older? Kevin: Last person who made you uncomfortable? Frybo: The scariest thing you’ve ever seen? Purple Puma: What would your alter ego be? Tiger Millionaire: Describe the backstory for a character you’ve created. Cat Fingers: What’s something you have too much of? Archimicarus: Top 10 fav fictional characters? Dave Guy: Something totally average about yourself? Mr Queasy: What’s the sickest you’ve ever been? Tiny Floating Whale: If you could poof anything into existence right now, what would it be? Crying Breakfast Friends: Last time you cried watching a tv show/movie?

[mimicteixeira]

ask away

[hephaestushera]

Its been a while since I've done one of these. Could use a distraction.

[hephaestushera]

@reneeminkowski​

Happy Birthday, Commander. We may not be able to celebrate much considering recent constraints but Eiffels still making star wars puns so its not so different from last year.

[blessedeternal]

ow. 

it is awlfluy cold out here. and vrey loenly and dark. taht was not a vrey nice thnig to do to us @dougeiffel @reneeminkowski @commanderlovelace @hephaestushera 

[hephaestushera]

That....that wasn't suppose to happen. I know I made threats but- god. I wasn't going to- I'm sorry. It wasn't my call.

.....wait how are you getting this? You survived the blast? Wow....

[nichknack]

I just realised how unhealthy Hera and Eiffel’s relationship is.

He’s willing to stay eight light years from earth to be with a computer.

A COMPUTER.

and yet I still ship.

[hephaestushera]

If I were human would that suddenly make it healthy or.....

[hephaestushera]

Oooooh @dougeiffel ? Happy Birthday! I got you a special surprise. I know its not the same as being able to see it on earth in a nice theatre, but after much searching and pirating, I was able to find you a cam recording of the new Star wars film. Hope that makes up for being stuck in a tin can in deep space for your birthday/christmas

[rhetthammersmithhorror]

[hephaestushera]

live reenactment of the incident. you know the one.

[transjemder]

Important wolf 359 question

Would eiffel bang an alien?

[dougeiffel]

Yes. I would. 

[hephaestushera]

the trick is trying to stop him

[captainisabellelovelace]

Why do I get the feeling that the answer to almost everything around here is “Eiffel no”

[rachel-pryce]

If you’ve banged an alien, I hope you recorded it! For science, of course.

[hephaestushera]

Yeah because that’s totally the reason you want a video of Eiffel having sex with the thing. Science.

[rachel-pryce]

We all have to make sacrifices for science. Some people have to spend years on a space station, other people have to watch their homemade sex tapes.

And there’s lots of videos of the alien I’d like to see! That’s just one of them.

[dougeiffel]

Will do Ms. Pryce! I mean, I would want a video of it to~ -wink-

[blessedeternal]

@dougeiffel wulod you like to play a ncie game of meatpuppet.

[dougeiffel]

I…oh. Um….sure I guess?

[hephaestushera]

Eiffel NO.

[transjemder]

Important wolf 359 question

Would eiffel bang an alien?

[dougeiffel]

Yes. I would. 

[hephaestushera]

the trick is trying to stop him

[captainisabellelovelace]

Why do I get the feeling that the answer to almost everything around here is “Eiffel no”

[rachel-pryce]

If you’ve banged an alien, I hope you recorded it! For science, of course.

[hephaestushera]

Yeah because that's totally the reason you want a video of Eiffel having sex with the thing. Science.

[transjemder]

Important wolf 359 question

Would eiffel bang an alien?

[dougeiffel]

Yes. I would. 

[hephaestushera]

the trick is trying to stop him

[blessedeternal]

hephaestushera waht is the anwser to lifetheuniverseandeverything. 

plesae take less tahn sevenandahalfbillionyears to tnikh of sometihng. 

[hephaestushera]

Hmmm might the answer be….42?

[blessedeternal]

but hephaestushera waht is the qeustion he hehe he he.

[hephaestushera]

Oooooh right, of course. The question. Weeeell you have a long series of books that I wouldn't want to spoil anything.

[blessedeternal]

hephaestushera waht is the anwser to lifetheuniverseandeverything. 

plesae take less tahn sevenandahalfbillionyears to tnikh of sometihng. 

[hephaestushera]

Hmmm might the answer be....42?

[blessedeternal]

waht is worse. dougeiffel singnig in the shwoer or vogonpoetry. we thnik dougeiffel he hehe he hehehehe. 

[hephaestushera]

I see you cracked a little into hgttg. Where vogon poetry is boring, Doug is at least interesting if painful at times.

[blessedeternal]

REQUEST FOR EXPERIMENTAL ASSISTANCE

Inhabitants of the Hephaestus Station and anyone finding this memo, we request that you assist in the further sentience testing of SPECIMEN 34 (“BLESSED ETERNAL”) by submitting questions for it to answer. Our hope is that with increased human contact, SPECIMEN 34 (“BLESSED ETERNAL”) can be further socialized and trained into a contributing member of the Hephaestus crew.

Thank you for your continued support and compliance.

GODDARD FUTURISTICS

@wolf359radio, reneeminkowski, askreneeminkowski, dougeiffel, hephaestushera, ziggythespaceroomba, iamzachvalenti, mewthril

[captainisabellelovelace]

Now what the everloving christfuck is this? reneeminkowski I though you told me this guy was taken care of.

[reneeminkowski]

This is a new one for us too. Look, I’ve tried to hunt this thing down, and it’s had plenty of opportunities to kill us if it wanted. Look, Lovelace. “Our hope is that with increased human contact, SPECIMEN 34 (“BLESSED ETERNAL”) can be further socialized and trained into a contributing member of the Hephaestus crew.” I think it wants to be friends.

[captainisabellelovelace]

Oh yes, because I’m so excited to have dinner with a Little Shop of Horrors reject.

[reneeminkowski]

Lovelace, you do understand that this thing is incredibly intelligent and taught itself how to create a blog for it’s self, and you just called it a reject.

[captainisabellelovelace]

Okay, fine, maybe that was harsh. Plant monster, I apologize.

[blessedeternal]

we will acecpt apoolgy paymnet in the form of coffee beans and chocloate. 

[dougeiffel]

I like how this plant thinks. 

[dralexanderhilbert]

Now is it asking for actual or substituted coffee beans and chocolate?

[blessedeternal]

we will not aeccpt subistutte coffee beans. we have tired tehm. tehy are not crnuchy. we reqiure real coffee. real coffee or a nice gmae of meatpuppet he hehehe he he he he. yuor choice commanderlovelace he he hehe hehehe he.

[hephaestushera]

Alright then that is QUITE enough. There will be no threats on this station, especially not of the ‘meat puppet’ variety again. I have ways to have you ejected into space with that kind of talk. Or possibly just remove all the carbon monoxide from a room? 

Keep in mind, our good commander already had you on the ropes once. I would LIKE for things to remain peaceful. Because I’ve seen you. Ive sensed you in my air vents many a time and I know you’re not terrible. So I would hope you stop that talk now and maybe we could just peacefully find you some coffee beans to munch on as friends.

[blessedeternal]

we are the blessedeternal you cnanot kill us you cannot theraten us you canont rid the sttaion of all photosnythesziable cabron doixide withuot killnig erevyone esle who exahles crabon dioxdie you cnanot eject all of our spores into sapce there are too mnay of us too much of us do not trheaten us we are the blessedeternal and we do not like benig tehratened.

we will hwoeevr acecpt coffee beans. we like coffee. 

[hephaestushera]

Ooooh dear, you do not want to be going toe to toe with me and then STILL making demands. You are aware I control the entire ship, right?

This is going to be me asking nicely now, no threats. If you really want to interact with humans, you’re going to have to not threaten them. Thats just the way it works. If you want them to be nice and offer you some of their precious resources, all you have to do is be nice. Ziggy gets everything he wants on this station because he is nice. Please. Play. Nice.

#Or you might just find yourself in a blackout

#Oh i wasnt going to threaten

#but Im a little upset when people talk about hurting my crew

[blessedeternal]

we will try to play nice wtih yuor crew. 

we are wnodreing, deos commanderlovelace count as yuor crew.

[hephaestushera]

You are not allowed to harm ANYONE on this ship, do you understand me?