EXPERIMENTAL LOG: Specimen 34

In which the sentience of SPECIMEN 34 (preferred name "BLESSED ETERNAL" will be tested by the asking of questions and the creation of a safe space in which the aforementioned SPECIMEN 34 ("BLESSED ETERNAL") is given free reign to communicate as it wishes.

[blessedeternal]

ow. 

it is awlfluy cold out here. and vrey loenly and dark. taht was not a vrey nice thnig to do to us @dougeiffel @reneeminkowski @commanderlovelace @hephaestushera 

[hephaestushera]

That….that wasn’t suppose to happen. I know I made threats but- god. I wasn’t going to- I’m sorry. It wasn’t my call.

…..wait how are you getting this? You survived the blast? Wow….

[blessedeternal]

we are not so easliy kliled he hehe he he hehehehehehehehehe hehe he hehe hehe he hehehe he hehe heheheheeeeeeeee it is vrey cold and dark out here all by ourslef.

[blessedeternal]

ow. 

it is awlfluy cold out here. and vrey loenly and dark. taht was not a vrey nice thnig to do to us @dougeiffel @reneeminkowski @commanderlovelace @hephaestushera 

[blessedeternal]

@wolf359radio we wolud like to be in yuor liveshow. as long as it is bteter tahn @reneeminkowski's talentshow we thnik we wolud like it vrey much. also we are a very good actor he hehe he he he.

[blessedeternal]

BLESSED ETERNAL: Do you miss officer Eiffel? Do you even know who he is?

of cuorse we miss @dougeiffel. we wree gonig to play meatpuppet but tehn he got sick and tehn he got blown up into sapce. do you tihnk we wolud not remmeber him. we have a vrey long memory.

[dougeiffel]

Miss you too my leafy friend. 

[blessedeternal]

myabe there will be anhoter blessedeternal out in deep sapce and yuo can brnig tehm back for me.

[blessedeternal]

BLESSED ETERNAL: Do you miss officer Eiffel? Do you even know who he is?

of cuorse we miss @dougeiffel. we wree gonig to play meatpuppet but tehn he got sick and tehn he got blown up into sapce. do you tihnk we wolud not remmeber him. we have a vrey long memory.

[blessedeternal]

Oh mighty Blessed Eternal, may I give you hugs, miracle gro fertilizer, and a heat lamp? You've been so kind to let me live this long and I would like to pay tribute to our sentient plant overlord

we lkie the suond of this miraclegrofertilizer and a heatlamp sunods very wram and nice but we do not kown who you are. is this anohter tirck by you @commanderlovelace snice we have gorwn too mcuh for lcoknig in colsets and we have fuond and gahtered all the falmetohrwers. 

aslo what is a hug. is it lkie meatpuppet. if it is tehn yes we wuold like taht too.

[blessedeternal]

taht was fun. star radaition is tatsy and good for phtoosynethsis. @reneeminkowski @dougeiffel @hephaestushera @commanderlovelace can we do taht agian pelase he hehe he hehehe he.

[captainisabellelovelace]

I don’t have time for this nonsense. Can someone please lock them in a closet until this whole shitstorm blows over?

[blessedeternal]

atfer all the raadition we will not fit in a cloest. or in a coulpe of closets. maybe we colud hide in all the hephaestusstation colsets. it will be like a game he hehe he he he as long as it is not to dark. mabye we can brroow a lihtgbulb from @reneeminkowski and tehn we will play the hidinginalltheclosets gmae with yuo @commanderlovelace. 

[captainisabellelovelace]

….

How big. Did you get.

[blessedeternal]

imaigne soemthnig very big. tehn imgaine it with leaves. we are taht big.

[blessedeternal]

taht was fun. star radaition is tatsy and good for phtoosynethsis. @reneeminkowski @dougeiffel @hephaestushera @commanderlovelace can we do taht agian pelase he hehe he hehehe he.

[captainisabellelovelace]

I don’t have time for this nonsense. Can someone please lock them in a closet until this whole shitstorm blows over?

[blessedeternal]

atfer all the raadition we will not fit in a cloest. or in a coulpe of closets. maybe we colud hide in all the hephaestusstation colsets. it will be like a game he hehe he he he as long as it is not to dark. mabye we can brroow a lihtgbulb from @reneeminkowski and tehn we will play the hidinginalltheclosets gmae with yuo @commanderlovelace. 

[blessedeternal]

taht was fun. star radaition is tatsy and good for phtoosynethsis. @reneeminkowski @dougeiffel @hephaestushera @commanderlovelace can we do taht agian pelase he hehe he hehehe he.

[transjemder]

Important wolf 359 question

[blessedeternal]

@dougeiffel wulod you like to play a ncie game of meatpuppet.

[dougeiffel]

I…oh. Um….sure I guess?

[hephaestushera]

Eiffel NO.

[dougeiffel]

EIFFEL YES.

[blessedeternal]

see @commanderlovelace see @hephaestushera see @reneeminkowski meatpuppet can be fun. when and whree wolud you like to play. we are vrey exctied he hehe he he he. it will be the msot fun we have had snice he he hehe well we do not tnhik you have found taht one yet hehe hehe he he he.

[captainisabellelovelace]

Wonderful, more shipments from crazytown. I don’t care how many flamethrowers you steal, I will find a way to kill you!

[blessedeternal]

that is not how tihs works @commanderlovelace we are not braeknig any rules we are not forcnig aynone to do aynthnig. we found a volnuteer. and even if we did wihch we did not becuase we pormised we wolud not then you wolud be one to talk @commanderlovelace abuot forcnig and crazytown yes you wolud.

[captainisabellelovelace]

Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare bring my plan into this! It is the only way even one of us lives, unlike your desire to stab people’s guts out and take over their minds!

I don’t know how to make this any clearer: we are nothing, do you hear me, NOTHING alike.

[blessedeternal]

who said we wree anythnig like yuo @commanderlovelace. we pormised we wolud not hurt anynoe and we kept our promsie unlkie yuo. 

also we nveer watned to stabpeoplesgutsout. taht is not how meatpuppet wroks and you know it or @dralexanderhilbert wolud hvae no guts he hehe he he. @dralexanderhilbert with no guts wolud be difficlut to stomach he he he and wolud be heartwrenchnig he hehe he hehe he he he hehe. 

[transjemder]

Important wolf 359 question

[blessedeternal]

@dougeiffel wulod you like to play a ncie game of meatpuppet.

[dougeiffel]

I…oh. Um….sure I guess?

[hephaestushera]

Eiffel NO.

[dougeiffel]

EIFFEL YES.

[blessedeternal]

see @commanderlovelace see @hephaestushera see @reneeminkowski meatpuppet can be fun. when and whree wolud you like to play. we are vrey exctied he hehe he he he. it will be the msot fun we have had snice he he hehe well we do not tnhik you have found taht one yet hehe hehe he he he.

[captainisabellelovelace]

Wonderful, more shipments from crazytown. I don’t care how many flamethrowers you steal, I will find a way to kill you!

[blessedeternal]

that is not how tihs works @commanderlovelace we are not braeknig any rules we are not forcnig aynone to do aynthnig. we found a volnuteer. and even if we did wihch we did not becuase we pormised we wolud not then you wolud be one to talk @commanderlovelace abuot forcnig and crazytown yes you wolud.

[transjemder]

Important wolf 359 question

[blessedeternal]

@dougeiffel wulod you like to play a ncie game of meatpuppet.

[dougeiffel]

I…oh. Um….sure I guess?

[hephaestushera]

Eiffel NO.

[dougeiffel]

EIFFEL YES.

[blessedeternal]

see @commanderlovelace see @hephaestushera see @reneeminkowski meatpuppet can be fun. when and whree wolud you like to play. we are vrey exctied he hehe he he he. it will be the msot fun we have had snice he he hehe well we do not tnhik you have found taht one yet hehe hehe he he he.

[transjemder]

Important wolf 359 question

Would eiffel bang an alien?

[dougeiffel]

Yes. I would. 

[hephaestushera]

the trick is trying to stop him

[captainisabellelovelace]

Why do I get the feeling that the answer to almost everything around here is “Eiffel no”

[rachel-pryce]

If you’ve banged an alien, I hope you recorded it! For science, of course.

[hephaestushera]

Yeah because that’s totally the reason you want a video of Eiffel having sex with the thing. Science.

[rachel-pryce]

We all have to make sacrifices for science. Some people have to spend years on a space station, other people have to watch their homemade sex tapes.

And there’s lots of videos of the alien I’d like to see! That’s just one of them.

[dougeiffel]

Will do Ms. Pryce! I mean, I would want a video of it to~ -wink-

[blessedeternal]

@dougeiffel wulod you like to play a ncie game of meatpuppet.

[blessedeternal]

our lihgtbulb blew out and now it is too dark. wehre can we get anohter one reneeminkowski. we do not lkie tihs place wehn it gets too dark.

[blessedeternal]

Ideal date night?

we are unsrue of the exitsacne of anohter blessedeternal, and asexualreproduction is bornig and loenly and only good for grownig and not much esle, and reneeminkowski still refsues to find us a freind, so we hvae not thuoght a lot abuot datnig. but it suonds like fun and we wulod like to try it soemtime. maybe a nice game of commanderlovelace meatpuppet he hehe he he hehehe he.

[captainisabellelovelace]

Why am I always the meat puppet????

[blessedeternal]

yuo said we were a littleshopofhorrorsreject. 

or maybe we jsut really like yuo he hehe he he. 

[captainisabellelovelace]

Oh my God I apologized!

And if you liked me, you would leave me alone!

[blessedeternal]

Tehn perahps we just thnik you wulod make a vrey good meatpuppet he hehe he.

[captainisabellelovelace]

We are literally going around in circles with this. Do I have to spell it out for you?

I DO NOT WISH TO BE A MEAT PUPPET.

[blessedeternal]

do not wrory hephaestushera​ said not to play meatpuppet with aynone even thuogh we pormise it is a vrey fun game. 

but stlil we thnik taht yuo wulod make a very good meatpuppet and this anonmyous did ask us for uor idealdatenight he hehe he. 

or maybe we are just teasnig you he he he. 

or mabye we are not he hehe hehehe he he he hehe he he he. 

[blessedeternal]

Ideal date night?

we are unsrue of the exitsacne of anohter blessedeternal, and asexualreproduction is bornig and loenly and only good for grownig and not much esle, and reneeminkowski still refsues to find us a freind, so we hvae not thuoght a lot abuot datnig. but it suonds like fun and we wulod like to try it soemtime. maybe a nice game of commanderlovelace meatpuppet he hehe he he hehehe he.

[captainisabellelovelace]

Why am I always the meat puppet????

[blessedeternal]

yuo said we were a littleshopofhorrorsreject. 

or maybe we jsut really like yuo he hehe he he. 

[captainisabellelovelace]

Oh my God I apologized!

And if you liked me, you would leave me alone!

[blessedeternal]

Tehn perahps we just thnik you wulod make a vrey good meatpuppet he hehe he.

[blessedeternal]

Ideal date night?

we are unsrue of the exitsacne of anohter blessedeternal, and asexualreproduction is bornig and loenly and only good for grownig and not much esle, and reneeminkowski still refsues to find us a freind, so we hvae not thuoght a lot abuot datnig. but it suonds like fun and we wulod like to try it soemtime. maybe a nice game of commanderlovelace meatpuppet he hehe he he hehehe he.

[captainisabellelovelace]

Why am I always the meat puppet????

[blessedeternal]

yuo said we were a littleshopofhorrorsreject. 

or maybe we jsut really like yuo he hehe he he.