The Cattier Version of Hermione Granger

AKA Hermiomini

[hermiomini]

Hermione learned how to use the thermostat. I'm not even kidding. Last night I watched her turn it down to 70. I had to tape it in place at 78 so she wouldn't just set it to whatever she wanted.

[hermiomini]

Me: -opens fridge-

Hermione: -runs inside-

Me: -grab what I need and close the fridge-

Me: -counts to five-

Me: -opens fridge-

Hermione: -hops out-

[hermiomini]

I came home with some water from Starbucks and Hermione went absolutely crazy. I had a straw a NEW straw! Straws are her favorite. Each time I tried to set my water down she tried to bite it and yank it out of my cup. I eventually gave up and threw it for her.

She played with it for a solid half hour, carried it in her mouth from surface to surface--carpet, tile, linoleum, cardboard, even the wood interior of my tea table. Never mind that she already has three straws exactly like this one--the new straw is obviously better.

[hermiomini]

Cat wipes have been incredibly useful while we raise Hermione.

Just today she took a lick of my very spicy lunch the moment I looked away and then had the brilliant idea to clean herself and give herself fire butt. Cat wipe to the butt and a fresh bowl of water for her tongue saved the day.

[hermiomini]

The first thing Hermione does with a new toy that she likes is carry it to the kitchen to test it for good playing acoustics. The best toys make good sound on tile or linoleum.

[hermiomini]

How Hermione begs for food

Jump on shoulder.

Happy purr.

Butt in face.

[hermiomini]

She loves it when her dad falls asleep on the futon

[hermiomini]

I accidentally trained Hermione to associate my singing with bad things (singing in the shower where she can’t reach me, singing when I drive her somewhere, singing when I take my chapstick back, and other heinous deeds) and now she leaps at my face if I start.

[hermiomini]

There are three body parts Hermione loves like no other:

1) Hands (nom)

2) Feet (om nom)

3) Butts (om nom nom)

[hermiomini]

“How dare you boop my nose when I can’t boop you back,” thinks the kitten.

Left with no recourse, she attempts to defend her booped nose with multiple appendages.

[hermiomini]

If I fits, I sits. Then I sink into the abyss between a leg and pillows.

[hermiomini]

In case anyone wanted to see the full version of the Hermiomini avatar photo.

[hermiomini]

Me: What flavors of wet cat food should we buy for Hermione?

Boyfriend: Whatever would make her farts smell less bad.

Me: -laughs because he thinks that’s possible-

[hermiomini]

Just so it’s known, in the “Ragdoll Mode Now” photo, Hermione kept insisting on hanging over the edge of the futon. She would fall if I didn’t hold her head up for her. I’m not being hypothetical--it’s something she does.

She’ll be somewhere and then she’ll just flop and expect someone to catch her. Usually she starts things off by going limp on my shoulder and falling or sliding toward my lap.

Hermione uses this both as a way to get attention and as a mode of transportation. When she isn’t using it on my significant other and myself, she’s using it to get down from her cat tree level by level since she’s good at going up, but not down.

[hermiomini]

Ragdoll Mode Now

[hermiomini]

How she fell asleep when I rubbed her head with my thumb.

[hermiomini]

Ragdoll Mode Then