SignalCLI: The Kafkaesque Journey of Being Real on Social Media
I belong to the generation where, when someone asked, “Hey, I need an account on Facebook for development”, five minutes later — after a quick chuckle at the request to provide a “real name” (seriously, who in their right mind gives REAL details to some random third-party website? I barely trust my bank, let alone an online platform) — an account under John or Jane Doe was all set. We’d test APIs, update profiles, mess around with friend lists, curse outdated documentation, and wonder why nothing worked as expected.
Fast forward to 2025. Real people. Real struggles.
“Hey Sophie (our spokesperson/marketing director, lovely, amazing, single lady in her late 20s — sorry, she’s just awesome), we need a PR release, like, NOW. We’re going live soon; let the world know.”
“Yes boss,” Sophie said cheerfully, and her journey began.
For our PR release, we needed:
Company name: Check, easy.
Company address: Reluctantly provided.
Contact details: Real emails, manageable.
Social media presence: This is where it all went sideways.
We had none. Zip. Nada. Not on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok — nowhere.
Sophie, being the vibrant, attractive lady she is, naturally has personal social media filled with delightful videos and photos — like her 5 AM salmon-fishing trip in eye-catching lingerie (birthday trips, naturally), or karaoke nights after five straight tequila shots. You get the drill. Awesome personal stuff. Stunning photos. Absolutely NOT crypto-business-appropriate. So, creating a proper business Facebook profile was the logical step.
Sophie registered using her professional email. Facebook immediately halted the process: “Human verification required.” Sophie complied, recording a video selfie. Fifteen minutes later: “Your account violates community standards.” How exactly an empty account with a genuine video selfie violates community standards still baffles me.
Undeterred, Sophie used our business phone number instead. Boom! Account created successfully. Yet, when trying to create a business page — errors everywhere. Technical issues galore. VPN trials, different browsers, modes, and repeated attempts later, Facebook temporarily shadow-banned us for “too many attempts.”
Next day, verification required again. Another video selfie. Another ban. For absolutely no reason. Genuine person, genuine video — banned.
Facebook — absolute fail.
Next stop: LinkedIn. Our team member spent days meticulously crafting his profile. Day four: LinkedIn requested a passport scan for “verification.” He complied, foolishly. LinkedIn replied, “You don’t exist. Provide a passport proving your existence.” Since when did social media earn the right to demand personal documentation?
X.com (Twitter) Struggles
Then came X.com. Initially felt like fresh air — quick account setup, seamless posting, and fast PR release. THANK YOU, X.COM!
However, still a few issues: shadow-banned because our account was new, ads repeatedly rejected despite charging our company credit card. Turns out, running crypto signals ads requires a banking license. Seriously?
Yet, compared to Facebook and LinkedIn, X.com felt like paradise. So again, thanks to X.com, we have a social presence. PR released, Case closed, much appreciated.
Despite challenges, we got there. Find us at x.com/signalCLI.
Small catch: if you’d like to check our latest posts, please click “highlights.” There’s hope that eventually our posts will appear normally. But hey, does it fulfill the requirement of “social media presence”? Yes, CHECK! Thank you! Next challenge!
But then I began to wonder — are there workarounds for these issues? What do normal people do? Surely, we’re not alone? And guess what? There are solutions.
Extensive research revealed that fully operational Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and X.com accounts (and any other platform you may want) can easily be bought online. Not even on the dark web — official websites with official links. You can even use your credit card for the purchase. Stunning, right?
Prices range from just a few cents up to about a dollar fifty, with tens and hundreds of thousands available. No verification videos, no passports requested — just simple, instant transactions. Instant access.
Yet, our genuine spokesperson Sophie Caldwell, whom I have the pleasure of seeing whenever I’m in the office, officially “doesn’t exist” according to Facebook. My friend, with over two decades of experience, who spent three days meticulously setting up his account — officially “doesn’t exist.” But people sending inappropriate pictures to minors? They’re fine — and if banned, they simply buy another account and continue.
I somewhat understand that if you’re involved in platform management (IT? Management? Who knows?) at Facebook, extra cash might seem appealing. Selling accounts might even be considered a lucrative side hustle. Many people struggle, just like we did. Many want an account, just like we did. While we, as a company, cannot ethically purchase an account (reputation matters), ordinary people might. Sell 1,000 accounts at a dollar each, make $700 easily after a 30% commission. Not bad.
But my primary issue isn’t even with accounts being sold; business is business. My issue is why we must verify anything with these social media giants. Why care if John Doe is my real name? If John Doe posts inappropriate content, that’s the appropriate agency’s problem, not Facebook’s. Yes, provide tools to report unsolicited content. Yes, maintain a self-managed community with the ability to escalate issues. But requesting legal documentation that could be misused to issue credit cards in my name? Are they insane?
Then we wonder, “How were my personal details stolen, resulting in unauthorized credit card use and selling my house?” Well, maybe — just maybe — it was because you willingly handed your personal details and documents to Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and others. Common sense seems lost here.
Social media giants demanding passports, banking licenses, penalizing genuine efforts — it’s a bizarre reality. I wouldn’t be surprised if, in ten years, companies facing similar issues resort to buying social media accounts. Today we managed to open an account; tomorrow, who knows what social media platforms might demand?
Perhaps they have too much control. Perhaps there should be limits on collecting personal data, clearly defining their role in society. Call me crazy, but while governmental agencies knowing my identity might be tolerable (if uncomfortable), social media platforms demanding the same — is insane.
Today’s story isn’t directly about SignalCLI, crypto, or even IT. Besides, I left out the portion about why a PR hard requirement includes having social media presence. Excellent question, wouldn’t you say? Company name — makes sense. Address — a bit iffy, but maybe someone wants to send us a gift? Fine. Contact person — logical. Means of contact, like emails? Do these people realize that sharing emails isn’t far off from sharing passports? And that emails are a prime target for hackers looking to compromise a company? But social media presence? Why is this suddenly a mandatory requirement? What if, like us until recently, we simply didn’t have, need, or want an online social presence? People interested in contacting us have our contact page. Who exactly decided social media presence was mandatory? Who couldn’t imagine a company without one?
Anyway, thought you’d appreciate these stories from the trenches of a futures crypto signal company’s digital marketing division.
