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if i look back, i am lost
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KIROKAZE
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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NASA
seen from United States
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@heroicalias-blog
fashion of the mcu | captain america: the winter soldier & avengers: endgame ↳ natasha romanoff + arrow necklace
“Before I worked for SHIELD, I, uh…well, I made a name for myself. I have a very specific skillset. I didn’t care who I used it for…or on. I got on SHIELD’s radar in a bad way. Agent Barton was sent to kill me. He made a different call.”
Jessica Jones + favorite moments
Trish growing up
The Jewel’s Suit in JJ 1x05 // The Cat Suit in JJ 3x02
+ bonus
‘you violated every cell in my body and every thought in my goddamn head’
Kilgrave’s cameo in Jessica Jones Season 3
❛ Are you from Starbucks because I like you a latte. ❜
“Nat.” She was flattered, and flustered. Reaching for her coffee cup, she took a sip to some revulsion. “Are you drinking from my cup?”
“It’s like 80% whiskey.”
❝ I’ll grant you the honour of carrying me .❞
She can’t help exhaling through her nose at those unexpected words. A wry smile hung on her lips as she found the same smile mirrored by her girlfriend. “Fine, princess.”
Squatting down, she rose in one swift motion and scooped her off her feet. “Not like you could have walked back anyway.” She made it look as if she was struggling though with her greatly enhanced strength, this was nothing.
“And wow, your villains.” She raised her eyebrows. “They really hurt.”
I just noticed that in the scene where the boys are mourning Nat at the lake and Clint is yelling at Thor, Steve is just sitting there with actual tears streaming down his cheeks. It’s this part from the trailer that they cut down a few seconds in the film:
He is full on crying. We’ve only ever seen Steve cry one other time and for Peggy’s funeral. He just lost a best friend and partner. Someone who had stuck by him through thick and thin when he didn’t have anyone else (Bucky, the team, etc.). Someone who cracked jokes with him, helped him take care of and lead their surrogate family. They comforted each other in their darkest hours. Hell, probably cooked each other dinner when the other person was too exhausted.
And the last thing Nat ever said to Steve was: “See you in a minute”
And she was smiling with excitement, giddy to do something way outside her pay grade. She got to go on space adventures and time-traveling with Steve and her family. And Steve smiles back at her joke, fully expecting to return with Nat standing beside him once again.
Because she was always there at his side, from the very beginning he got out of the ice.
And this here is the face of a man who realizes his longtime partner post-ice thaw is now gone. His friend… his surrogate family when he had none other…
He looks at the spot where Nat had been standing right beside him just earlier… where she had promised to see him in a minute… and Steve knows that the person who stood beside him all these years… is gone for good.
And remember their conversation at the beginning of the film?
Steve: “I think we both need to get a life.”
Nat: “You first.”
And he does.
ubiytsar:
It hadn’t been enough. Everything they had done hadn’t been enough. It had been the least bloody series of deaths Natasha had ever seen, but it had shaken her to the core in the way rivers of red hadn’t. She felt sick, and useless. And angry.
She had watched her friends disappear, and she knew that so, so many others were gone as well. She didn’t want to use the word dead, but they were gone. There was one that Natasha wasn’t sure about though, and she needed to see for herself.
The quiet of New York was eerie. There were no usual honking taxis or upbeat chatter to hide the sounds of her footsteps as she made her way up the fire escape. Natasha had always liked the silence — but now, not so much.
The knot that she hadn’t realised was there untied itself from the base of her throat as she saw the familiar black hair, now so much more different to the lightness of her blonde. (It was still hard to look at herself like this sometimes, but necessity called.) If there was ever a time to drink yourself senseless, Natasha figured that it would be now. But still, she found herself reaching out to stop Jessica.
Her hand on Jessica’s thigh was more or less an anchor, a physical reminder to herself that the woman hadn’t been one chosen for dust. “You’re still here,” she murmured quietly, more to herself than anyone.
For a moment, she couldn’t speak, and instead the corner of her lips lifted, wry and mirthless. “Secret African country. It was harder getting back.” She tugged her wrist out of Jessica’s grasp, and instead lay her hand on top of hers. “We failed…”
The first instinct was to reach forward and hug her. Wrap her arm around her girlfriend and protect her, and yet the anger that bubbled within the pit of her stomach raged.
And he appeared. “It was her fault, Jessica.” Putting into words all the dark thoughts that had grown and grown day by day. Goading her until accusations had formed on her tongue and she opened her mouth to hurl them forth.
She was responsible. She could have prevented this and yet...
As her lips parted, as the words, buzzing with anger, readied to dart out to stab deeply into her girlfriend, Jessica’s grip into her jeans tightened. His words whispered into her ear had made so much sense. It was so easy, just to blame her. The only person she had seen in forever.
And pain.
Without her notice, her fingers had pierced through her denim and into flesh as the pain blanked raged through her mind pushing her thoughts away. It hurt and it was just what she needed. Jess bit down hard on her lips until blood pooled into her tongue. The horrid words fading as the pain, white and hot, burned them all away.
She drew a breath drinking in the air as if that moment had lasted an eternity.
And then she unclenched her fist.
With her heart pounding in her skull, she reached forward and fell into her, trembling arms wrapping around Natasha tightly.
“I’m glad you’re still here.”
If you say “with great power, comes great responsibility”, I swear I’ll throw up on you.
A Winter Night’s Dream
ubiytsar:
You must always have a safe place to go. That was one of the first things they were taught in the art of survival. Another was to always know when you have been recognised.
She had unfinished business in New York, but with her face and red ledger blasted across television screens by her own doing, there was only so much wigs and hats could do. (She didn’t want to dye her hair, not yet. The red was one of the few things she had left from her parents, their faces she could barely recall.) Eyes that lingered too long, a turn of a head in her periphery. And even worse, there was someone around who could recognise her from the beat of her heart.
There was another, though, who she had heard of through the SHIELD grapevine.
Per usual Black Widow fashion, breaking in and waiting was always more fun than knocking on someone’s door. Especially when it looked like knocking would break the thing down anyway.
Natasha’s eyes followed the other woman’s movements, a curious tilt of her head as the vodka was placed aside. She pondered briefly on coincidence. A Russian drink to greet a Russian woman.
“Sorry,” she said, not sounding apologetic at all. “I’d appreciate it, though, if you could do me a favour and ignore the hours for today.” She glanced pointedly at the vodka. “If you’re up to it, of course.”
Always recognise recognition. “I suppose you already know who I am, don’t you?” For a moment, she missed the anonymity of espionage dearly. “You look a little… starstruck.”
“If I make an exception for you.”
The woman closed her eyes, took a deep breath to steel herself to reject a lifestyle she had silently admired. She balled her fists, gripped against the wooden counter and slowly opened her eyes to face the trespasser.
And as she found herself glaring at her own reflection, through the window that had turned into a mirror from the darkness outside, the words to follow up died on her lips.
“Fuck it.” She turned to face her and pushed herself up to sit on her desk. “Alright, welcome to Alias Investigations, I’m the best and only detective here, so you’re stuck with me, got it? Don’t like it? You know where the door is.”
She made a motion towards the only other chair in the room. “Take a seat.”
Her eyes roaming over the woman as she tried to guess her intent. “Tell me what you need me to find or... need me for.”
The days following the incident were the worst. After a day of morning, a string of looting and pillaging followed into the next month and by the time the dust had settled, New York was a ghost town.
Everyone Jess knew had vanished. Her girlfriend. Her sister. Her “friends” and her friendly neighborhood bartender. And she was never good at coping.
Flicking the cap off the bottle she downed the drink in one motion before tossing it behind her for it to join its shattered brethren. Closing her eyes, she leaned back and let the fog once again roll into her brain. Dulling her mind to prevent any thoughts towards the fallen was the only way she could continue on.
Taking a deep breath, she leaned back in bed and reached out for the last bottle in her collection. All so she could fall asleep with no nightmares. Fingers grasped onto the neck of the bottle, and she pulled it towards her.
And it resisted. So she pulled harder and instead of the bottle, she found a hand roughly pushing against her knee. Eyes snapped open as she prepared to swing at the stranger.
“You.” Instead, her swing paused as her breath caught in her throat and her eyes roamed erratically over the woman who looked less reality and more hallucination. Yet with the pressure of her hand on her leg...
She let the bottle go and reached out to grasp her wrist gripping it tightly as if her hand was enough to anchor this phantom to her world.
“Where the fuck have you been.”
A Winter Night’s Dream
@ubiytsar
Jessica Jones had never been the sociable type. She didn’t know her bartender’s name, nor had she ever thought to ask the name of the only cashier at her bodega. Not that many words were ever exchanged at 3am, simply a mute nod of the head when she walked out with a bottle of vodka.
A bottle that was almost half empty by the time she pushed open the slightly broken door to her apartment. And she stopped.
Jess knew just how much alcohol she could handle and the drink had never caused hallucinations. Quite the opposite.
So that was clearly the real Black Widow standing in her living room.
Right.
Steeling herself she stepped into her room. Her cool exterior belied the vortex of emotions that was battling in her stomach. An insistent part of her wanted her to run, while the more rational part of her mind told her that would be futile.
Taking another step, she let herself breathe in deep the cold winter air and continued ahead. For having drank half a bottle of vodka, she had never felt more sober.
Just act normal. It’s fine. Shield’s resident super spy in my office. Just a normal Thursday. Yeah.
As she traversed through her living room to cautiously place her bottle on her desk, she tried to come up with something to say.
Something.
Anything.
It didn’t even have to be clever. “Don’t know if you’ve read the sign, hours are from noon to midnight.”
Yeah. Nailed it.
* . ✧ CIRCE ✧ . *
- STARTERS -
❝ He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none. ❞ ❝ Humbling women seems to me a chief pastime of poets. ❞ ❝ I cannot bear this world a moment longer. ❞ ❝ You cannot know how frightened gods are of pain. ❞ ❝ I would say, some people are like constellations that only touch the earth for a season. ❞ ❝ You have always been the worst of my children. ❞ ❝ I will do as I please, and when you count your children, leave me out. ❞ ❝ When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist. ❞ ❝ When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world. ❞ ❝ I will not be like a bird bred in a cage. ❞ ❝ This is what it means to be alive. ❞ ❝ But perhaps no parent can truly see their child. ❞ ❝ Yet because I knew nothing, nothing was beneath me. ❞ ❝ Some things are worth spilling blood for. ❞ ❝ You can teach a viper to eat from your hands, but you cannot take away how much it likes to bite. ❞ ❝ You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you. ❞ ❝ The grudges of gods are as deathless as their flesh. ❞ ❝ Those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. ❞ ❝ Who knows what is in me? Will you find out? ❞ ❝ Bold action and bold manner are not the same. ❞ ❝ How many of us would be granted pardon if our true hearts were known? ❞ ❝ If you want it, I will do it. ❞ ❝ All my life I have been moving forward, and now I am here. ❞ ❝ Fear of failure was the worst thing for any spell. ❞ ❝ Imagine such a happiness. Like drinking wine your whole life, instead of water. ❞ ❝ Most men do not know me for what I am. ❞ ❝ You are right, this world is a wild and terrible place, and worth shouting at. ❞ ❝ He was no husband, scarcely even a friend. ❞ ❝ We bear it as best we can. ❞ ❝ Timidity creates nothing. ❞ ❝ It is youth’s gift not to feel its debts. ❞ ❝ What was I truly? In the end, I could not bear to know. ❞ ❝ They do not care if you are good. They barely care if you are wicked. ❞ ❝ Oh, sweetheart, it cannot be done. ❞ ❝ Lady, you and I are in accord. ❞ ❝ Why should I care what is in their hearts? ❞ ❝ You must keep your tricks close or you will lose everything. ❞ ❝ I never claimed to be good. ❞ ❝ My whole life, I had waited for tragedy to find me. ❞ ❝ You must understand people if you would rule them. ❞ ❝ Be sure not to dishonor me. ❞ ❝ Do not try to take my regret from me. ❞ ❝ Even those who had loved me a little did not care to stay. ❞ ❝ I can please you, I swear it. You will find none more loyal than me. ❞ ❝ I do think he loved me a little. ❞ ❝ Well? What do you have to say to me? ❞
ubiytsar:
The easy affection Jess was displaying caught her off guard slightly. Obviously not in a bad way, but Natasha had never minded the other woman’s brusqueness. There was nothing she could detect that would have told her that this was some of kind act Jessica was putting on, either in an attempt to please her or anything otherwise.
“No one likes fruitcake. I wouldn’t do that to you,” she said easily, her voice giving away none of her thoughts.
Nonetheless, Natasha allowed herself to be pulled along back towards where she had just arrived. She didn’t bother hiding the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips despite her bemusement. “Wow, the real New York experience. Aren’t I lucky? I don’t actually like pudding that much, but it felt seasonally right.”
Outside in the simulated snow, her curiosity got the better of her. “You’re in a particularly good mood today,” she commented, her tone light and neutral. Even though at times she would have preferred a little less self-destructive drinking, Natasha had never thought badly of any of Jessica’s vices or her rough shell.
Her hand started its path on Jessica’s arm, trailing her fingers down until she could interlace them with Jess’, almost to soften the next of her words. She wasn’t letting the costume go so easily. “So tell me more about that costume. It looked too well made to just be only a joke.”
“How sweet.” She teases nudging her slightly with her elbow. A happy Jessica Jones was certainly a walking oxymoron, and yet the smile and mannerism was completely genuine. If one didn’t know any better, it would look as if she was under Kilgrave’s mind control again.
“If you keep being like this.” A roll of her eyes was given as she picked up on the sarcasm. She turned towards her while still walking as her growing smile failed to grant any credence to the words she spoke next. “You’re not going to get anything to follow that up.” And as if to punctuate the statement, she stopped abruptly and as Natasha walked into her, she gave the redhead a quick peck on the cheek.
Feeling her fingers crawl up her arm, Jess could hardly move away. The tender moment, the occasional snowflakes dancing on the breeze, and the snowy wonderland, made it hard for Jess to hide a shiver each time she felt the other woman’s fingers. Her breath hitched in her throat, and then, the moment was broken.
With their fingers entwined, Jess gave her hand a gentle squeeze, only slightly peeved. “Do you remember Trish? She got so into the idea of superheroes when she learned I was powered that she surprised me with that costume.”
She gave her another eye roll as if prompting for her to commiserate. “And she even came up with a hero name: Jewel! Can you imagine? Jewel the stripper, going out taking names and solving crimes. I’d be a laughingstock.”
Nonverbal RP Starters
I’m finding it difficult to find memes for nonverbal characters ( be they mute, or just not fond of talking ) so I thought I’d make a few!
Neutral
☝️ Tap my muse on the shoulder
👉 Point to something for my muse to see
🤙 Bump into my muse
😊 Sit down next to my muse
🤨 Sit down across from my muse
📓 Push/Slide [an object] across a table to my muse
✍️ Pass my muse a note
🙄 Roll their eyes at my muse
🚪 Tap on a table/door/wall/chair to get my muse’s attention without speaking
Aggressive
🐺 Growl at my muse
😬 Snarl/show teeth at my muse
😠 Death Glare at my muse
🙌 Push/Shove my muse
👊 Punch my muse
👖 Kick my muse in the shin
👠 Stomp on my muse’s foot
😵 Knee my muse in the gut
💀 Knee my muse in the groin
🔪 Point a weapon at my muse
🖕 Flip my muse the bird/a similar gesture
👔 Roughly pull my muse down by the collar
💢 Bang on a door/wall/table to get my muse’s attention- angrily
Angst
👩⚕️ Put pressure on my muse’s wound
🌡 Push my muse down to give them medical attention
🥣 Bring my muse soup/medicine when they are sick
🤢 Hold my muse’s hair back/Rub my muse’s back while they are sick/throwing up
👐 Hold my muse when they are badly wounded/dying
👁 Wake my muse up during a nightmare
🐱 Hold my muse after a nightmare
😭 Hold my muse when they are crying
😢Touch my muse’s shoulder while they are crying in secret
💧 Wipe away my muse’s tears
💥 Try to calm my muse during an overwhelming emotional moment
⛈ Find my muse after some kind of trauma
Soft
👕 Tug on my muse’s sleeve/shirt/skirt
🐈 Lean against my muse’s side
🤝 Hold my muse’s hand
🤗 Pull my muse into a hug
🐕 Rest their head on my muse’s shoulder/knee
🐶 Nuzzle my muse with their nose [specify a location]
✋ Touch the back of my muse’s hand
🤝 Reach for my muse’s hand to hold it
👗 Fix/Straighten my muse’s clothes
😴 Stand by the bed to see if my muse will let you under the covers with them
🛌 Crawl under the covers with my muse
🥪 Set a plate/tray/bowl of food down for my muse
😚 Kiss my muse on the cheek
Playful
🌸 Put a flower in my muse’s hair
✨ Playfully shove my muse’s shoulder
💃 Pull my muse onto a dance floor/up to dance
🤞 Come up beside them and tap the shoulder opposite where they’re standing
😈 Jump out of the shadows to scare/startle my muse
😛 Stick their tongue out at my muse
😱 Make a silly face at my muse
🤭 Tickle my muse
👃 Poke my muse’s nose
💪 Pick my muse up
Sensual/Sexual
💘 Pull my muse in for a rough kiss
💕 Pull my muse in for a tender kiss
💞 Pull my muse in for a messy/desperate kiss
💖 Lean in to give my muse a sweet/chaste kiss
❤️ Lean in to give my muse a tender kiss
🔥 Pull my muse down by the collar/by their clothes - in a sexy way
😉 Pull my muse in by the hips
😲 Smack my muse’s butt
💋 Kiss my muse’s neck
👌 Push my muse down and give them a massage
👙 Pull [an article of clothing] off my muse
👀 Push my muse down on the bed
👄 Pull my muse onto the bed
