a SHUDDER works through his bones. grinding his teeth against one another, threatening to turn them to DUST. as nerves spiked under the pretense of the verbal GULP. it was like watching acid burn– liquified infection. forcing his face into a knot, as all his features SCRUNCHED into one another. the mere idea of that variation was just REVOLTING. a verbal slip of DISGUST, came by way of a strained gag, lodged up in his throat.
“ —– ” nicety claims were pointless ; they always clambered to try to HINT richie off of the subject. yet , time and time again they failed miserably into the snow balling of momentum. it was – ( for lack of a better term ) DIFFICULT for eddie to speak about his mother ; there lived a constant tug between obligation and ( ENTRAPMENT ) , as if any word out of line might just be the crack to break his mother’s back. that even a drift in the wrong direction would find a pang of overwhelming GUILT. as if an omniscient force were riddling scars , ready to rat him out ; she was his mother , he ( HAD ) to love her … there was no other option , than being blinded by her shadow. dry mouth threatening to close up his throat , as he let out just above a whisper , “ beep beep richie. ” in all hopes that their inside joke might bring the train to a halt before it DERAILED.
hand on back leaving his cheeks in FLUSH. he wouldn’t admit it… but there was a sense of RELIEF, in touch. feeling the warmth through his tee shirt. head turning into the crux of his elbow. employing the only tactic of DIVERSION that he had. sticking that hand in the front of his fanny pack. an entire medicine cabinet hanging off his waist, like a walking pharmacy. he couldn’t let him SEE, ( the steady crawl of scarlet up his ear. ) watch beeping. ( saved by the BELL !! ) as pill bottles jangled in welcome, as he whipped the case out, like a pill retrieval savant. “ for now… next time you look in the mirror, you’ll have GROWN an extra eye where your mouth should be, ” a slight crack in composure. the first real upturn of a smile. allowing himself the momentary satisfaction of leaning back into his hand, as he poured the case into his palm. a small sigh, SLIPPED. “ m… maybe then you can finally beat your galaga high score. some extra… hand, EYE coordination.” head pulling back as they went down his throat… it felt like swallowing NAILS.
his cheeks puff out AT those words, he hated it. he hated that they all did that to him when he went off talking. he squeezed at the bridge of his nose. sometimes he felt like he couldn’t talk and get to his point they ALWAYS cut him off. “ oh fuck off. ”
his foot bounced up & down
EYES dart to the fanny pack eddie’s watch goes off making him jump. ( fuck ) fuck, fuck, fuck why would eddie say that? eyes... thinking about eyes made him feel so sick. his body shook. “ hey i’ll still be hot, right? ” really, richie wanted to jump off this topic thinking about having an extra eye really creeped him out. but eddie seemed to bring SOME good into it even if he was still very much grossed out.
“ have you ever thought about just not taking those? ” richie glared at the ground for a moment. GLASSES get pushed up his nose, “ like how the hell do you know they actually help? if it’s to make you cute then they totally ARE working. ” why did he say that? sure he made a habit of calling eddie cute but still, it made his chest go HEAVY. he shrugged, his left leg shaking a little ( was it anxiety? ) maybe.
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