Amateur Writer, Semi-Professional Attitude. @hesjayrich - Tumblr Blog

loveridden1999

reblog if you're a sick individual who's attracted to women over 30

roninkairi

...so I'm a psychopath.

hesjayrich

I'm on Death's Bed.

bwood171

@airebeam @roninkairi @hesjayrich @prfctcellrulz @quercuas @davidakadwolf @lurker-lenore @marvalouslynerdish @silent-calling

hesjayrich

Multi-Pass

airebeam

The special TMNT Night package includes your seat to the Twins vs. Milwaukee Brewers game plus an exclusive co-themed TMNT/Twins t-shirt.

Well, I know what I'm doing this Sunday. 🤣

davidakadwolf

Break out the banana yellow jumpsuit!

airebeam

You know... that's not a bad idea, @davidakadwolf . It's supposed to be in the mid 60's on Sunday, but yeah, that's not a bad idea at all! I think people would get a kick out of it. 🤣

roninkairi

The fact that the NY Yankees didn't do this perplexes me. And now, Casey Jones.

...yes she counts.

hesjayrich

And all my team gets is a lousy rivalry game with the Cubs.

roninkairi

Over 20 Years Later...We Finally Got The Answer...

For those of you who just want to skip all of the suspense and get the answer, please scroll down further for the answer.... ... ...just a little further... ...ready? Here you go.

Me: Good...good...(saying this, I put down the very large photon rifle) Harley: TRUE LOVE WINS!!! Velma: I take it you are pleased with the now canon picture. Me: What makes you say that? Velma: The banner that reads "Commandercharon2 Can Suck It!" for starters. Harley: Wow. You sure can hold a grudge. Me: Ok one, you are the LAST person to talk about grudges and two, no one talks shit about my Timmy x Tootie commissions and gets away with it!

hesjayrich

Me: And in other news, the grass is green. (I get smacked with a mallet)

Harley: JUST LET US HAVE THIS!!!

Me: Okay, Okay! I'm truly happy for them. No one can take a joke anymore.

Shego: Says the man who threatened war on the Skrulls if Dipper and Pacifica didn't get together.

Me: Technically it's still not official...and technically those warheads are still active.

airebeam

Oh cripes, I hope this isn't as bad as the last snowstorm we had. It didn't affect me any, but Virgil down the street pulled his back out. It was the darnest thing. He was out there pushing his new blower he got at Menards when he heard a loud crack and then the thing he knows he's at Methodist so doped up with who knows what asking about the stairway in the middle of his room. But he didn't mind none 'cause the nurses were really kind and pretty. The kids were bummed out though 'cause they thought they'd have a snow day, but the ding dang school decided to do zooming instead. And then there was Agnes and her Shiz-Tzu Melody. Little thing didn't want to go outside if she couldn't smell grass, so it decided to squat right in the middle of the walkway and drop a load which cheesed off Dave, our maintenance worker. He was already coping with his wife not paying their TJ Maxx charge card on time again and now he had to clean up dog poop so we could hear him making a ruckus out in the hallway and mentioning something about Bob Barker. Yeah, it was a pretty bad snowstorm. I stepped outside my patio and froze my gosh darn tits off. Of course, I should of put some pants on but I figured what's the point if I wasn't going to be out there long. Wait. What was I getting at with all this? I don't remember. I guess it wasn't important but if it comes to me, I'll let you know.

hesjayrich

Yeah, don't worry. It left a sizeable deposit in Chicago earlier this afternoon.

Like an RKO, right outta nowhere.

roninkairi

Generate graphics in the Pokopia font style — multicolored custom letters and the game's signature green ditto blob background.

...I'm not apologizing.

Anyway, I have been told that apparently, Kevin Sorbo lives rent free in my head. I find that while technically that could be true, I have not mocked him enough to warrant that claim.

So in an act of fairness I present the following:

Dipper and Pacifica: (deep blushing)

Mabel: Sir, your creativity humbled me.

Me: I know.

roninkairi

Caption This

@hesjayrich @airebeam @davidakadwolf @bwood171

hesjayrich

"There are simple things a lady enjoys in life; the smell of flowers, a warm and sweet dessert, and the sensation of knowing your right hook has shattered an orbital bone."

prfctcellrulz

Uh @hesjayrich please don’t shoot the messenger but…

hesjayrich

If you believe that, I've got a stadium to sell you in Brooklyn.

They're staying in Illinois. They know where their bread is buttered.

roninkairi

And Now, My Reaction To Seeing Absolute Poison Ivy--

@hesjayrich @airebeam

hesjayrich

airebeam

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

If you're going to be spending it with a special someone, I genuinely hope it's great. Of course, you suck but that's only because I'm jealous of your blessing. In all seriousness, I hope it never ends.

If you're single and don't care about some stupid retail holiday - right on! Those bastards at Glennhaven's Hallmark on 55 isn't going to get our money! Fight the establishment! Maxine can stick that walker straight up her wrinkly old ass! Those two-month old carmel candies are overpriced to begin with!

If you’re single and feeling a bit down today, don’t be. This day doesn’t define your worth or importance. You are loved, you are appreciated. Think no one’s thinking of you? Wrong. The fact that you’re reading this means I’m thinking of you. And honestly, I’m lying in bed typing this, so a naked woman with her legs spread out has you on her mind. You're already starting the day off great, player!

And if you don't care it's Valentine's Day but excited it's Lara Croft's birthday - fist bump.

Regardless how you're spending today, I hope it's sincerely special.

*great big squishy hugs and kisses*