my foot is on fire @heterosexualwaffles - Tumblr Blog

valtsv

frankwinchester

universeofmemes

bob-belcher

candlelion-deactivated20140107

nothing feels better than winning monopoly. not love. not sex. not free pizza. nothing

iamtheironrain

I’m sorry, have you tried pizza…?

candlelion-deactivated20140107

yes and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friends eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate

dankmemeuniversity

phase2-moved-deactivated2021073

Dr Doofenshmirtz gay moments

hustlerose

lesbiancharliedalton

Wedding dresses r so weird and fucked up u spend 7k to buy a dress you will literally wear like once. Or twice if you decide to put it on when you have a breakdown and like axe murder your husband or whatever

zagreus

if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te

*eeoo

doctress

Okay th*n. *f you’r* sure about th*s.

Old Macd*nald had a farm.

*eieio

zagreus

i’m going to shatter you like glass

toastbutteregg

elasticitymudflap

how big do you think squidward's dick is compared to his nose

listen, i’m no marine biologist, but i am equipped with many fun marine life facts:

most cephalopods have one “shorter tentacle” that acts as a mating organ known as a hectocotylus

squidward is an octopus

make of this information what you will

railroadsoftware

like this post if that you worked at Starbucks and Jared Leto came in for a coffee you’d act like you’d have no idea who he is because you think that it would really annoy him and that when you ask for his name to write on the cup he’d be like “it’s Jared Leto” and then you’d be like “I only need your first name” and then you write Jacob on the cup.