Mistress of Spells, Sarcasm, and Absolute Chaos

[hexpect-the-worst]

*Percy Jackson RP Blog*

Hey Tumblr! 🌟

So, I’m new here, and apparently, I’m supposed to introduce myself or something.

Hi, I’m Selena! I’m 16, living in the foggy, techy paradise of San Francisco. My mom is Hecate (yeah, that Hecate) so you know, magic, mist, and midnight snacks are part of my daily routine. My dad’s an archeologist who used to be a Roman legionnaire. So, family holidays are like Indiana Jones meets Ancient Greece.

I’ve got some pretty neat powers from my mom, which mostly involve making things go whoosh and zap and occasionally making people think they’ve walked into a different dimension (thanks, Mist).

Anyway, I’ll be sharing my demigod adventures, random magical mishaps (like that time when a spell backfired and turned my hair bright, neon purple), and maybe a few stories about turning my bedroom into a miniature portal to the Underworld. Because, you know, normal demigod stuff. 😅

Stay tuned!

@shattered-glasswork @erosjournal @unhinged-waterlilly

[mosscoveredclown]

"can you behave" yes, if I wanted to, but this is so much funnier

[naughtyandnicerpmemes]

Reblog if you're bored and you want anons.

Or non-anons. Whatever works for you!

[hexpect-the-worst]

WILLIAM ANDREW SOLACE! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!

@dr-flipflops

[mrmcshizzleandh-meister]

Hey, Leo! 👋 So, I, uh, might have kinda disappeared for a while... totally not on purpose, I swear.

I may have gotten a little distracted... you know, by a spontaneous trip to the Underworld (don’t ask).

But I’m back—at least for now! So, what’ve you been up to?

- @hexpect-the-worst

"Heyyyy!! It's cool! I've been kind of busy with my work too so it's all good. Mostly just working, making tools and whatnot for the other campers and fixing Festus occasionally. Along with also maybe the occasional prank here and there. Mostly on Piper but don't tell her that, she doesn't know it's me."

[hexpect-the-worst]

Okay I won't!

So, I just heard that Harley invented a catapult toaster. You know, for when you’re too lazy to walk to your toast and want it launched directly at your face. I'm not saying it's practical, but I am saying we both should test it out, since Will isn't here to supervise.

[hexpect-the-worst]

So, hypothetically, if someone was interested in asking out a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed, stoically heroic, obsessed with the rules guy.. what’s the best way to do that?

@jasonlightninggrace

[jasonlightninggrace]

Oh, well, given the attributes, I'd say to just be yourself? Oh, and I'd recommend following the rules and breaking the stupid ones. Rule followers HATE stupid rules. So if you like.. examine the rules i think he'd like you. Basically, just criticise everything about the rules that are bad and try to fix em.

@hexpect-the-worst

[hexpect-the-worst]

Okay, sure, I can do that.

But what if—and hear me out—I skip that and just say, 'Hey, Jason, wanna go out with me?'

Would that work, or is rule commentary a required love language for you?

[jasonlightninggrace]

Uh, I'd say go for it. Those stoic types sometimes need to be told stuff so the direct approach could be good.

Wait.. for me? FOR ME?!

[hexpect-the-worst]

Noooo, of course not. Definitely just a hypothetical scenario...

...Okay, fine, yes, it’s for you.

So, Jason, what’s the protocol here? Should I submit a formal date request in triplicate, or can we just get to the part where I ask you out and you say yes... or no?"

[jasonlightninggrace]

Uh... uhh... well, I don't think I can really date anyone. I am kinda dead and wondering if im aroace... and even if i wasn't, it wouldn't be fair to use you as a rebound after the break up with Piper. So.. sorry, not.. intrested and also dead.

Uh.. sorry? But if you ever meet another guy, I'd just recommend going for it, yknow? Guys are oblivious. I'd know, cuz I am one.

[hexpect-the-worst]

Being dead is barely a speed bump for a child of Hecate. I have very exclusive VIP access to the Underworld. Front of the line, no waiting.

But I respect the honesty, and no hard feelings. You’ve got a lot to figure out, and I wouldn’t want to be anyone’s rebound—hypothetically or otherwise. For what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty great, Jason. Even if you’re the most unavailable person I’ve ever met.

[hexpect-the-worst]

So, hypothetically, if someone was interested in asking out a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed, stoically heroic, obsessed with the rules guy.. what’s the best way to do that?

@jasonlightninggrace

[jasonlightninggrace]

Oh, well, given the attributes, I'd say to just be yourself? Oh, and I'd recommend following the rules and breaking the stupid ones. Rule followers HATE stupid rules. So if you like.. examine the rules i think he'd like you. Basically, just criticise everything about the rules that are bad and try to fix em.

@hexpect-the-worst

[hexpect-the-worst]

Okay, sure, I can do that.

But what if—and hear me out—I skip that and just say, 'Hey, Jason, wanna go out with me?'

Would that work, or is rule commentary a required love language for you?

[jasonlightninggrace]

Uh, I'd say go for it. Those stoic types sometimes need to be told stuff so the direct approach could be good.

Wait.. for me? FOR ME?!

[hexpect-the-worst]

Noooo, of course not. Definitely just a hypothetical scenario...

...Okay, fine, yes, it’s for you.

So, Jason, what’s the protocol here? Should I submit a formal date request in triplicate, or can we just get to the part where I ask you out and you say yes... or no?"

[hexpect-the-worst]

So, hypothetically, if someone was interested in asking out a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed, stoically heroic, obsessed with the rules guy.. what’s the best way to do that?

@jasonlightninggrace

[jasonlightninggrace]

Oh, well, given the attributes, I'd say to just be yourself? Oh, and I'd recommend following the rules and breaking the stupid ones. Rule followers HATE stupid rules. So if you like.. examine the rules i think he'd like you. Basically, just criticise everything about the rules that are bad and try to fix em.

@hexpect-the-worst

[hexpect-the-worst]

Okay, sure, I can do that.

But what if—and hear me out—I skip that and just say, 'Hey, Jason, wanna go out with me?'

Would that work, or is rule commentary a required love language for you?

[hexpect-the-worst]

Hey, Will! A funny story - so, I may have had a minor accident involving a spell, a flock of glittery butterflies, and a very confused monster. Now I am a glittery mess with a sprained ankle and a few other wounds. Can you work your magic and heal me? I promise to stop being reckless... after this! 😅✨

@will-shoelaces

[hexpect-the-worst]

So, hypothetically, if someone was interested in asking out a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed, stoically heroic, obsessed with the rules guy.. what’s the best way to do that?

@jasonlightninggrace

[hexpect-the-worst]

HELLOOOOO @dr-flipflops & @nico-sees-dead-people ! Guess who’s back and definitely not banned from Camp Jupiter (yet)? Sorry for disappearing for a month—I’ve been, uh, occupied.

So... what’s the hottest tea back here? Fill me in—I’ve been living on gossip scraps, and I’m starving for chaos.

[its-me-kassy]

Other than memory loss, everything is great

[hexpect-the-worst]

I heard. Memory loss? No biggie, right? Just another Tuesday at Camp Half-Blood!

I’m starting to think this is Hera’s doing. Like, she probably woke up this morning, looked at her calendar, and thought, ‘Yeah, let’s mess with another demigod today. It worked on Jason and Percy, might as well try it again.

[hexpect-the-worst]

HELLOOOOO @dr-flipflops & @nico-sees-dead-people ! Guess who’s back and definitely not banned from Camp Jupiter (yet)? Sorry for disappearing for a month—I’ve been, uh, occupied.

So... what’s the hottest tea back here? Fill me in—I’ve been living on gossip scraps, and I’m starving for chaos.

[nico-sees-dead-people]

uhm

so will probably doesnr remember who you are he had an accident when kidnapped by cyclopses and now doesnt remember me or our daughter! Hah! Fun! Im fine!

hes also died and come back! Left camp for texas! And called me all the names under the sun!

but silena and clarisse are dating now which is cute, ive acquired a new sometimes child noa and aria is four now

[hexpect-the-worst]

WHAT IN THE TARTARUS DID I JUST READ?!

Will DIED?! Came BACK?! Went to TEXAS?! And called YOU names?! Will, I know you probably won’t see this or remember how scary my glitter bombs are (because, y’know, amnesia), but EXCUSE ME SIR, you do not sass my favorite child of Hades!

[hexpect-the-worst]

HELLOOOOO @dr-flipflops & @nico-sees-dead-people ! Guess who’s back and definitely not banned from Camp Jupiter (yet)? Sorry for disappearing for a month—I’ve been, uh, occupied.

So... what’s the hottest tea back here? Fill me in—I’ve been living on gossip scraps, and I’m starving for chaos.

[dr-flipflops]

Hey, Will! A funny story - so, I may have had a minor accident involving a spell, a flock of glittery butterflies, and a very confused monster. Now I am a glittery mess with a sprained ankle and a few other wounds. Can you work your magic and heal me? I promise to stop being reckless... after this! 😅✨

- @hexpect-the-worst

*sigh* Why am I not surprised?

Avoid running on that ankle at all cost, alright? I can't do much about the glitter- but just go have a really good shower man.

[hexpect-the-worst]

*Grins* Oh, come on, Will, a little glitter never hurt anyone... except maybe my pride. But seriously, you should be thanking me—I'm single-handedly keeping you in practice! Just think of it as a bonding experience.

Thanks for patching me up—I'll stay off the ankle... until I inevitably end up in another disaster. Or cause one myself.

[dr-flipflops]

Never hurt anyone? I'm covered head to toe in glitter from just patching you up- HAVE YOU SEEN THE STATE OF THE BED YOU WERE IN?!

And- could you wait at least 3 days before causing another disaster? It means Austin will have to deal with it.

[hexpect-the-worst]

You’re practically my personal healer at this point. And you're absolutely rocking that glitter look! It will go amazingly with Nico’s whole “brooding in the shadows” aesthetic.

THREE DAYS? Hell no! I can manage two and a half days, at best. You know Harley from Hephaestus Cabin, right?

[dr-flipflops]

I have glitter in places where the glitter shouldn't even be able to reach.

...

Yes.

Why?

[hexpect-the-worst]

Oh, trust me, the glitter has a mind of its own.

Anyway, you’re gonna love this—Harley’s gone full mad genius and built an enchanted machine that shoots fireballs with motion detection. And obviously, being the responsible adult that I am… I volunteered to test it out. Blindfolded. Because why not, right?

[dr-flipflops]

...

Fuck coffee- I need painkillers

[nico-sees-dead-people]

no absolutely not do not do that solace

[dr-flipflops]

Can't stop me.

[nico-sees-dead-people]

And what if i ask really nicely?

[dr-flipflops]

Nup.

I'm dealing with Harley and Selena Nico- HARLEY AND SELENA.

Right- I'm moving to Boca, or maybe I can throw myself into the Sea of Monsters-

[nico-sees-dead-people]

i can deal with harley hes like a tiny me i can do that

and dont you dare move away without me solace or i swear to hades i will hunt you down

[dr-flipflops]

Tiny you? What is he a photon?

[nico-sees-dead-people]

*withering glare* i meant me when i was younger solace

[dr-flipflops]

Suuurrreeee- I think you just really want someone to be shorter than you.

And no- he is not a tiny you. Younger you was an adorable rambling menace- Harley is none of those.

[nico-sees-dead-people]

ill play mythomagic with him i know he likes it will itll be fine

[dr-flipflops]

But he's already made the damn machine😭

[nico-sees-dead-people]

well then we just have to make sure he doesnt use it

[dr-flipflops]

*sigh*

What about Selena, you can't keep her out of trouble for more than an hour,

AND NO- Its not something to be proud @hexpect-the-worst, I can see you cackling.

[nico-sees-dead-people]

i admit i cant do that, but with harley occupied the damage will be so much less

[dr-flipflops]

You sorely underestimate her.

[nico-sees-dead-people]

@hexpect-the-worst is well aware that if she does anything too extreme she will be on my list

[hexpect-the-worst]

@dr-flipflops @nico-sees-dead-people

Guys, I'm fine and glitter-free (well, mostly. Don’t ask how long that shower took). Thank you, Will, those sleep meds you gave me worked wonders.

I can’t help it if trouble just finds me, right? I mean, it’s practically part of my charm. But seriously, Will, I’ll try to be less of a walking disaster...for a few days at least.

And Nico, don't you act like you’ve forgotten about the time we went looking for troglodytes together! We both ended up honorary shareholders of the Troglodyte Corporation! Can anything top that level of crazy?

[nico-sees-dead-people]

No it cant, just stay out of extreme trouble okay? Will refuses to leave the infirmary some days and hes a stubborn shit when it comes to looking after himself

[hexpect-the-worst]

Nico, fine, I’ll try to stay out of extreme trouble..

And @dr-flipflops seriously? You’re so stubborn you won’t even take care of yourself? Hypocrite! If you keep refusing to leave the infirmary, I swear I’ll sneak in and replace all your coffee with decaf. Don’t test me—I know where you stash the good stuff!

[dr-flipflops]

Don't. You. Dare.

If you go anywhere near that- oh you'll wish you never knew me.

I'm very aware that I'm a hypocrite- I am constantly reminded by my amazing bf.

[hexpect-the-worst]

Will, It’s way too late for you to make threats now.

I've already stolen your coffee stash while you and Nico were talking.

[dr-flipflops]

SELENA!!!

[hexpect-the-worst]

...it's for the best.

Catch me if you can, slowpoke! *Teleports away in a cloud of glittering smoke*

[dr-flipflops]

*low dangerous voice- this man is in dire need of his coffee and you DO NOT want to see him without any*

Nico.

@nico-sees-dead-people

[nico-sees-dead-people]

….heyyy will

[dr-flipflops]

Get. The coffee. Back.

[nico-sees-dead-people]

hate to break this to you tesoro but i currently cannon shadowtravel and i have no idea where selena is

[dr-flipflops]

*Will growls*

Well find out somehow.

*oh he is pissed*

*Will walks past him, and goes back inside the infirmary*

[nico-sees-dead-people]

i- okay?? Sorry

*he looks genuinely so guilty and also anxious its not good wills never been mad at him before*

[dr-flipflops]

*Will turns around*

I- *sigh* its not your fault. I'm just irritated since my drugs have been stolen.

I promise I'm not mad at you. It takes a lot for me to be mad at you *chuckles* and if thast wasn't hard enough- you're adorableness make u impossible to stay mad at.

[nico-sees-dead-people]

but- but i dont know how to get the coffee back will

*my dude is wringing his hands*

[dr-flipflops]

*sighs- rubbing his forehead*

Its alright- I'll just pick up some more from the next drive. It'll have to be instant though- shit.

Yeah- you'll have to deal with me being irritated for a spell, but right now I am in serious need of a hug.

*goes over back to Nico, and opens his arms, questioning silently*

[nico-sees-dead-people]

*nico stands on his tiptoes and envelops will as best he can*

lets go back to my cabin hm? You can sleep this off

[dr-flipflops]

*Will envelopes Nico in turn, just resting in his presence*

I would love to- truly, but I have my shift. Come around later? Please?

[nico-sees-dead-people]

*nico sighs and cups will’s face*

i will, and youre comjng with me as soon as the shift ends

oh and make sjre you tell @sun-girl-offical that youre in caffeine withdrawal so the patients dont think tje world is ending

[hexpect-the-worst]

....hehe. Mission accomplished.

[dr-flipflops]

I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!!

[hexpect-the-worst]

*Pops back into view, holding up a box in her hand.*

B-but I have a gift! Your favourite cinnamon rolls—freshly baked!

[dr-flipflops]

I don't care.

Give me my fucking drugs back.

[hexpect-the-worst]

Fine. I’ll give you back your precious ‘drugs’—after you at least take a bite of this.

[dr-flipflops]

I don't trust it, Give me back my coffee- I have to go to my shift.

[hexpect-the-worst]

Jesus Christ, William Solace! Just eat one bite for me! The sooner you do that, the sooner you can get back to your precious shift.

[dr-flipflops]

No- you eat a bite first.

Or- @nico-sees-dead-people, are u willing to test it?

[hexpect-the-worst]

*sigh* For god's sake, Will! This is a peace offering for taking your coffee. Just have one!!

[dr-flipflops]

No. Not hungry anyways.

@nico-sees-dead-people, help?

[nico-sees-dead-people]

she has a point will

[dr-flipflops]

If you trust it so much- you go have some. I'm going inside.

*barges past @hexpect-the-worst and goes into the infirmary*

[hexpect-the-worst]

*Sighs and looks at Nico helplessly* And I thought you were the difficult one?

*Follows Will into the infirmary* Okay, Will. Hear me out. If you eat these cinnamon rolls, I won’t get into trouble for a whole week. No spontaneous chaos, no glittery explosions, and definitely no trying out Harley’s enchanted fire-breathing machine.

[dr-flipflops]

*Will comes to a halt, eyes wide he slowly turns around to look at Selena.*

There's no fucking way its that simple.

*goes over, grabs one and absolutely inhales it*

*he laughs and literally has a skip in his step as he whoops in triumph*

HA!! YES!!! THE GODS HAVE BLESSED ME!! You're gonna stay out of trouble for a WHOLE WEEK!!!!! Oh thank the heavens.

[hexpect-the-worst]

*She watches him with a soft smile, her usual mischievous glint replaced with something warmer, serious and almost apologetic.*

Will, I'm so so sorry.

*Her hand lingers near his arm, as if to steady him for what’s coming.*

The cinnamon rolls are from Hypnos Cabin. They'll make you sleepy... And help you rest, even if you don't want to.

[meanwhile-in-cabin-20]

Demigods be like 🤩

[hexpect-the-worst]

Okay, so... hypothetically speaking, if someone might be thinking about asking your brother out... how do you think that would go? Like, purely hypothetical, of course.

@pinecone-face-thalia

[pinecone-face-thalia]

Step one: be a son of Hephaestus Step two: have fire magic Step three: . . . I think we all know what Step Three is

[hexpect-the-worst]

What if said person isn’t a skinny, fire-obsessed chaos magnet? Maybe someone who’s a little less... flammable?

[hexpect-the-worst]

Okay, so... hypothetically speaking, if someone might be thinking about asking your brother out... how do you think that would go? Like, purely hypothetical, of course.

@pinecone-face-thalia