Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

This is the story of Alicia, known as Queen Alicia of House Ackroyd, First of Her Name, Alicia Stormborn of House Ackroyd, Queen of the Falmouth Falcons and the First Line, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Pitch, Breaker of Chasers, and Mother of Bludgers. 

[thebootydiaries]

My girlfriend: *studiously doing her accounting homework, listening to instrumental music, very focused*

Me: *upside down in my desk chair* do you think stars have feelings

[quinnandersonwrites]

Writing Advice: it doesn’t matter if an idea has been done before. It’s never been done by you. So long as you do it well, and in your own way, it’s a wonderful contribution.

[mumble--bee]

*slams fists on table*

THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED

[weezley]

*flips table*

BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS

[amren-rhyssecond]

*Kicks chair*

ENEMIES TO LOVERS

[asroarke]

*throws lamp across room*

HELP I NEED A FAKE BOYFRIEND FOR MY EX’S WEDDING

[tackminyard]

*rips down the curtains*

THEY’RE FAMOUS AND THEIR FANS SHIP THEM

[bellamynochillblake]

*clutches wine glass so hard it shatters in my fist*

THEY WERE ROOMMATES

[cinnamonrollwithit]

oh my god they were roommates

[shadhavar1126]

AND THEY PINED MUTUALLY

[ghostsofhood]

YOU’RE FROM THE ROYAL FAMILY AND I AM JUST A SIMPLE SERVANT

[princessbelix-deactivated201808]

THEY BOTH HAVE A SECRET THAT RELATES

[the-dork-web-deactivated2024030]

THEY ARE ENEMY AGENTS

[enbyezzie]

One saves the other from an unhealthy relationship and they realize they were in love with each other the whole tiiiiiime

[just-jordie-things]

SSSOOOOUUUULLLMAAAAAAATES

[reddiepop-deactivated20191008]

This is the best post ever.  

[wehavecats]

Saturday morning purr sesh (make sure to turn on the sound)

[stephendann]

blankie is best blankie ever

[rhube]

i could tell even before turning on the sound that cat is indescribably happy.

[crownedcams]

[seekanewerworld-deactivated2018]

#2017 mood

[anexperimentallife]

[spanishskulduggery]

Do you ever find things you wrote when you were little and just really want to die a little?

[spanishskulduggery]

Me at age 11: “I am a sea of feelings. I am an emocean.”

Emocean underlined three times

[ziraseal]

11 year old you is a fucking genius 

[ultrafacts]

[bestnatesmithever]

What if it bites me and it dies?

[finalellipsis-deactivated201807]

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

[babblingfishes]

What if it bites itself and I die?

[william-petrisous-and-other-blo]

It’s voodoo.

[the-ordinary-nerd]

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

[tpt-moved]

That’s correlation, not causation.

[pizzadut]

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

[demonsinsuits]

that’s kinky

[pizzadut]

oh my god

[the-last-snow-elf]

this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever

[disney-rapunzel-merida-vanellope]

WAKE UP DAHLINGS

[shootingstarsandsilvermoons]

THE QUEEN IS BACK I’M SHAKING

[euphrates75]

No harm to any religion. It’s just a lamp ads by an Australian company. However, it’s funny!

[katiekomics-deactivated20240416]

I’m going to cry 😂😂

[tienriu]

Ahaha, the reason why Mohammad is specifically mentioned as not being able to be there is because in Islam, portrayals and portraits of Mohammad are forbidden.  But they didn’t want to be seen as either hand waving him as at the table but not shown or as explicitly omitted.

Very smart move there advertising script writers.

[swevani-deactivated20170107]

im not a christian but at this point i want jesus christ himself to descend from the afterlife to take the microphone out of trump’s hands and say “are yall fuckin serious”

[the-irish-mayhem]

Imagine how much Trump would hate that, having a Middle Eastern man interrupt him.

[elisamaza]

a middle eastern jewish man

[lainathewitch]

A middle eastern jewish man born in Palestine who gave away free healthcare and chased capitalists with a whip.

[princesszeldazbyebye-deactivate]

Sean Bean hiking up to the Lord of the Rings sets bc he’s afraid of helicopters is even funnier when you hear that Viggo Mortensen did the exact same thing, except Viggo’s reason for hiking to the sets was bc he wanted to be authentically travel-worn

Like literally you have Boromir doing this pretty cool thing bc he’s scared to death of the alternative while Aragorn just does it for The Aesthetic™

[pleatedjeans]

[bardqueenofgallifrey]

so a racist got utterly demolished in less than 30 seconds on the New Zealand morning news on Monday and it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen

who knew a white guy could be capable of such an iconic response, he knows what’s up and is having none of that shit, every other white guy take notes tbh

[han-j1]

I love that he said Pakeha

[littlereddove]

Can someone write what its being said in this?

[kc749]

Male co-host: We have had a whole heap of feedback regarding Te Tai Tokerau MP Kelvin Davis’s proposal to institute a prison run on Māori values into New Zealand. He’s looking at potentially establishing this prison up north. It isn’t Labour policy just yet, it’s just an idea of Kelvin Davis’s. And this has been really really divisive on our Facebook page this morning. (sarcastically) Here I think we have the single greatest email, the single greatest message we have ever had on breakfast.

(clears throat deliberately) “’Janice’ says: Good morning. I’m sick of hearing that Māori need different treatment. If they don’t want to live in our society, then maybe we should put them all on an island and leave them to it.”

Male co-host: “Janice. That is LITERALLY what happened! That is the history of our country. Last I checked, Māori WERE on an island, they were left to it, and then Pākehā (Māori term for white New Zealanders) turned up and look how that worked out. But thank you very much for that brilliant insight. Goodness me. Unbelievable. Unbelievable, they actually-“

Female co-host: “Actually, you can’t even get angry, you just actually need to laugh and then screw it up and put it under the desk. Just when you thought-“

Male co-host: (mimicking letter) “’Put them all on an island, leave them to it.’ Yeah. What a great idea that is Janice.

[dancinbutterfly]

I really need “What a great idea that is, Janice.” to be a meme filled with those stupid complete cognitive dissonance bigoted statements.

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

bigots be out there saying stupid shit like that all day every day so pls feel free to use this image when they do

[tozbraks-deactivated20180212]

everybody: hugh, bring your big ass muscles over here and punch this guy on screen hugh jackman, quietly: i just want to sing

[halliserres]

[cantdenytheviewthough]

[vinnie-cha]

hurling yourself off of cliffs is the most effective way to travel across the Storm Coast and no one can convince me otherwise

[pomegranatecryptid-deactivated2]

I just unfollowed around 150 blogs (jeez) and now my dash is pretty dead, so reblog/like if you post:

-Dragon Age

-Elder Scrolls

-The Hobbit/LOTR

-Star wars

-Nature aesthetics

-concept art

-Harry Potter

-Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel

-Fantasy aesthetics

And I’ll check your blog out! Thank you!