dys(fun)ction

whatever hill i'm dying on today, if you're around, you're gonna hear about it

[langernameohnebedeutung]

IMPORTANT ADVICE FOR TUMBLR NEWBIES:

Remember to send any questions you have regarding Jake Gyllenhaal's sexual preferences to the nearest Narnia fan blog

[cesiousblue]

:3

[machine-unlearning]

When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M

[machine-unlearning]

He said “Son (M7) when you grow up (F33) would you be — wait what”

[weonsinnombre]

[shieldfoss]

oH RIGHT This was before LotR pioneered cgi for massed crowd behavior

There was so much cool cgi in those movies I just assumed all the clones were too but back then I guess they still couldn’t really be

[chilewithcarnage]

this is so sexy

[luckyladylily]

I wonder what happened to all the agent smith masks

[roomtemperaturesuperconductor]

I can actually answer this! So the latex/rubber they used, while standard for Hollywood at the time, reacted REALLY BADLY to being doused in pouring water nonstop for an entire day of shooting. They ended up corroding, which caused them to stink really badly and glob together at the seams. The original plan was to hand out masks to various crew members on the final day of shooting as souvenirs, but the sopping wet, melting, rotting rubber got so gross that by the end of that shooting day they’d already thrown most of them out. Somewhere in a landfill are hundreds of disgusting, bloated, slimey Hugo weaving heads fused together into a nightmarish rotting amalgam :)

[roach-works]

it’s what he would have wanted

[godlessondheimite]

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

[nobodys-odyssey]

Taylor Swift does this

[godlessondheimite]

no she doesn’t

[nobodys-odyssey]

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

[dancinbutterfly]

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

Bro was THIS close to calling air bud a slur

[tastylemonbread]

[homunculus-argument]

"Can we please stop falling for shitty rage bait foot fetish cooking videos" should not be a sentence that ever needs to be said, but alas.

[notoriouscarrotman]

Falling for the who and the what now

[homunculus-argument]

[avatarmerida]

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

[futurakid]

[leg-stealing-bee]

[closetedguyy]

[knitordeath]

This hands down the best comment in the notes, I will not be taking criticism.

[song-of-sea-and-sky]

happy pride month 2021 I ain’t quittin’ you…

[msue0027]

[maxstarfall]

[gengaritez]

[pumpkin--rabbit]

[minyicho]

[dorothylarouge]

[funfey]

You are not staying in the tags

[ask-cloverfield]

[stealingpotatoes]

@magnetfamily week 2026 day 2: Companion | Enemy

they must have to have this conversation every time they see each other

(commission info // tip jar!)

[edgebug]

my dad thinks the concept of shipping is hilarious. my parents are cool, they know about my online presence, it's fine. dad doesn't scroll my blog or anything, though--he's usually too busy watching dubiously homoerotic pro wrestling clips or playing valheim--so his idea of shipping culture is bizarre

damn near every time I mention im working on a fic or piece of fanart, he gasps in hopeful anticipation and asks "tamatoa and heihei?!" and he always acts bitterly disappointed

no, dad. i'm not writing or drawing anything where a 50 foot crab and a literal chicken have any kind of relationship at all. you've been asking me to make this ship happen for almost nine years now and the answer has always been no. it's a running gag, of course, but--why would you even think of that?! what kind of shit do you think happens on ao3?!

[edgebug]

I have decided to make my dad's vision a reality

[edgebug]

behold

[edgebug]

happy holidays. My dad is threatening to print this on a shirt

[edgebug]

should i call my dad's bluff and get this printed on a t shirt and give it to him for xmas

no what the fuck in wrong with you? he might actually wear it

yes absolutely, he might actually wear it

Voting ended onDec 11, 2025

[edgebug]

[deathsmallcaps]

Op did he like it or did he love it

[edgebug]

he says he's gonna wear it to work

[dailynarnia]

is jake gyllenhaal gay??

why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this

[helloitsbees]

happy pride month to this post specifically

[distinguishedenthusiastcatt]

In Pride month, I think it's important to remind you of this iconic dialogue. You don't have to talk about who you are if you don't want to❤️

[dogpuppy]

[theocseason4]

[longscorsese]

king

[puertohurraco]

King

[vortigone]

[occidentalist]

“Pack it up boys we’ve made a social blunder” is the funniest sentence I’ve ever read 😭😭😭😭😭

[fellshish]

i know you said we ride at dawn but i’m not a morning person actually. can we ride after lunch

[mapswithoutwyoming]

legend tells of a mysterious being called “nuance” that allows multiple things to be true at the same time. some say you can still hear its voice whispering in the trees