EuphoriaDysphoria

My name's Raunice. I'm from Cebu City, Philippines. :)

[heyyyyimraunice]

I asked for a sign from God.

He gave me a sign.

I guess signs won't really matter unless you really are ready.

[heyyyyimraunice]

And here I am, more than a year later.. I'm better and starting to be happy again.

[coffeemages]

Your daughters do not exist to give you grandchildren

[radfemarchive-deactivated202304]

Or domestic labour by the age of 7

[swedepea]

And they’re not a mini-mom for their siblings either

[sissikuk]

Or be your personal therapist.

[artbythedarkside]

They’re not here to live the life you wish you had.

[milkygastrobones]

The last one is important for sons, as well. Your children are not an extension of you.

[heyyyyimraunice]

I know I'll be fine soon. I know that someday, I will be able to move on. The love and pain that I feel, I know they won't leave but I know I'll learn to live with them eventually. I'll heal. I'll finally learn to love myself first. I'll be there soon.

[hplyrikz]

1. A man won’t let go if he really loves you.

- Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.

2. Do not look for reasons why he ended…

[heyyyyimraunice]

A reminder to myself, again.

[heyyyyimraunice]

You are my biggest regret but my greatest lesson.

I guess I've only come to these realizations now that we're over.

We wanted different things in life. You already wanted to settle down, but I didn't. I was not ready. I never got to explain this to you but here goes.. I want to enjoy my life, achieve as much dreams before I decide to settle down because when the time comes when I do decide to settle down, I wanna give it my 100%. By that time, I'm done with myself. I'll be done being selfish. And by that time, you could have been my world, my entire world. You, me and our future children. I guess it all goes down to why, why this is my outlook. Growing up, I never really got to have the 100% care of a mother because my mother had to grow up with me. She had me when she was unprepared, when she still has not achieved all she wanted. I experienced my mom being momentarily selfish to her wants rather than including me in the picture. I grew up having to be the one to adjust to my mother, sometimes even being the one to understand.

I want that someday, I would never have to make our children feel as bad as I felt growing up. I want them to have the childhood that I (or even we) never had.

But it's too late now. You are gone. You are happy with somebody else. I missed out on the greatest man who could have given his entire world to me. Maybe in her, you could finally settle early just as how you wanted to with me. Maybe she's ready for the things that I could not be ready for right now.

But thank you, thank you for everything. Thank you for all these lessons I have learned after I lost you. Thank you for teaching me that there's more to the world rather than what was inside my bubble. Thank you for teaching me that when you love a person very much, you will always want the best for them even when it means not being a part of it.

You will always be in my heart, my most painful regret, my almost happily everafter. Thank you for the 5 years of unending patience and sacrifice. For the last time, I love you so much, IMC. I'll be fine soon. 😊

[nitrogen]

“I could start fires with what I feel for you.”

— (via nitrogen)

[heyyyyimraunice]

They say everything has a reason. But I did to myself, does the first line still apply?

[heyyyyimraunice]

Really makes me wonder if those people we cry about can sleep peacefully..

[heyyyyimraunice]

It's over

It's been 3 months since we decided to end our 5 year relationship yet I'm still here so broken and hopeless. You are happy with someone else now, yet I'm still here, realizing how great my love for you is everyday. When you said that I shouldn't hope for a future for us, it broke my heart to bits. But no matter how broken it is, the bits of my heart still call for your name. No day goes by without my heart screaming for you, no day goes by without my mind exploding with thoughts of you.

I wonder... which would hurt more? My broken heart or the physical hurt if when I do decide to end myself?

[heyyyyimraunice]

I haven't been here for such a long time. But seriously though, I'll be working on a life update in a couple of days.

[theliteraryjournals]

I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.

Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis (via theliteraryjournals)

[good-music-only]

How I Want Ya Hudson Thames (Hailee Steinfeld)

[thegirlwhocrieswolf]

New piece, hope you like it! xo Lang 

………….

My NEW book Memories is now available via Amazon, BN.com + The Book Depository and bookstores worldwide.

[heyyyyimraunice]

Constantly reminding myself that material rewards doesn't matter.

[heyyyyimraunice]

I passed the Pharmacy Licensure Exam!!

I am officially a Registered Pharmacist. Without you Dear Lord, nothing is possible.

[limitlessplaylist]

Visit Original Link

Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on…