The nine types of people you meet when you come out as asexual
“You’re just a late bloomer.”
“You’re just saying that because you can’t get laid.”
“No way, you’re a man, men aren’t like that.”
“You’re just playing hard to get.”
“You just want attention.”
“You’re just trying to seem special/different/trendy.”
“No way, you’ve had sex before, you’re not asexual.”
“You must be faking it because natural selection wouldn’t allow asexuality to persist.”
2. The unwanted sympathizer
“You don’t know what you’re missing.”
“I can’t imagine a life without sex!”
“Your life must be so empty/lonely/pointless.”
“Aww, but I’m sure you’ll find someone who wants to date you!”
“You just haven’t met the right person yet.”
3. The intrusive questioner
“What do your genitals look like?”
“Don’t you ever get horny?”
“What happens when you have a sex dream?”
“Is it because of your religion?”
“Do you have something wrong with your genitals?”
“Were you sexually abused or something?”
4. The asshole questioner
“Do you reproduce by budding?”
“Do you still think [opposite sex] have cooties?”
“So are you in love with yourself?”
“Are you attracted to animals?”
“But everybody likes sex, what’s wrong with you?”
5. The unnecessary therapist
“Have you tried having your hormones checked?”
“You’re just afraid to get close to people.”
“You’re in denial about being gay.”
“You’re not asexual, you’re just shy/frigid/repressed.”
“You must be a psychopath.”
“You probably have [insert mental disorder here].”
“You should seek therapy.”
“Do you think you’re not worthy of being loved?”
“But what if you change your mind some day?”
“You should keep an open mind in case you meet somebody special.”
“You’re afraid of sex/intimacy/falling in love.”
“If you don’t like sex then you must not have been doing it right.”
“How can you know you don’t want it if you’ve never tried it?”
6. The progressive who gets upset without having a clue what you’re talking about
“Stop slut-shaming people!”
“You’re being homophobic.”
“You’re appropriating the struggles of REAL queer people.”
“Since when have you ever been oppressed for NOT having sex?”
“That’s not a real sexual orientation.”
“What, do you think you’re better than me for not having sex?”
“You’re repressed, you need to be sexually liberated.”
7. The conservative who gets upset without having a clue what you’re talking about
“All women are like that.”
“You’re being selfish by not getting married.”
“If you don’t procreate, your life is pointless.”
“Not having sex is unnatural.”
“You’re sinning against God.”
“You have a duty to your parents/ancestors to give them grandchildren.”
“You just need to get laid.”
“I can change your mind.”
“Someone should just force you to have sex so you’ll realize you like it.”
9. The actually decent person
“You’re asexual? Okay, cool. Have you seen my keys, by the way?”
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