s a d b r e a k f a s t & c o l d c o f f e e

lukewarm caffeine, half-eaten toast, and thoughts left on read.

[hi-naanna]

WELCOME

“quiet dispatches from the routine.”

ABOUT THE BLOG

a collection of micro-journaling, daily inventories, coffee notes, and lingering thoughts. sometimes series, music, or whatever else is occupying my mind at the moment.

Status: Semi-active (writing whenever the moment hits).

MASTERLIST

Narrative Journaling:

- Another Year, Another Realization.

- When My Body Speaks For Me.

Personal Reflection:

- Why Do Misunderstandings Hurt Me So Much?

⛓️When life gets hard pick a random playlist you will listen to

anana

anana, a user on Spotify

[hi-naanna]

⟨08.02.2026⟩

no breakfast as usual. untouched iced lattes, and a breakup sitting right between us while we still pretend we're trying to work it out.

it's exhausting. i deserve a love that feels like a safe harbor, not a constant push-and-pull struggle.

[hi-naanna]

contents of the crescent bag: receipt of iced oat latte, a lip balm on its absolute last swipe, and a conversation I keep replaying.

[hi-naanna]

11:46 AM. train moving from south to north. calibrated coffee, ice melted in the cup, watery latte, heavy air and a list of things I said I’d stop thinking about three weeks ago.

[hi-naanna]

the monthly dip is here.

​feeling sad for no reason. feeling empty but restless. my brain is pacing back and forth, unable to focus on anything except the most random tasks. I’m just going to wear comfortable clothes, breathe through the jittery feelings, and let myself rest. tomorrow is a new day. 🤍

divider by @designlikenonsense

[hi-naanna]

May 02, 2026 💜💚

[hi-naanna]

Words that hurt from last night. // 21:56

​I didn’t go to work today. I’m just too tired.

​We fixed things, but the heavy feeling is still here. Last night was a lot. He told me I need to grow, and he said we should break up so I can find myself. That hurt so much. It made me feel like I am just a big problem in his life.

​I told him that he isn’t perfect either. He thinks he has worked on himself, but he still hurts people too. We both said painful things.

​He says he still loves me, but I feel like that love changed. It feels smaller now. I’m trying to believe him, but my heart is still haunted by everything we said in the dark. I just need some peace.

[hi-naanna]

It's my 15 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[hi-naanna]

the first hug was supposed to be the answer.

we stood outside for two hours. the air was heavy with the fight we just had over the phone, but we promised to make it right. we promised a hug.

he held me so tight. it was the first time. i even leaned in and kissed his cheek, being brave, being showy, being me. but he didn't want to kiss me back. he said he wanted to be the one receiving the affection, not giving it.

and while his arms were around me, i felt nothing but empty.

how can a hug be so tight but feel so hollow? maybe it’s because he told me my apology didn't feel real. i meant every word of my "sorry," but he chose not to believe it. it hurts when you give someone your sincerity and they hand it back to you like it’s a lie.

i’m tired of trying to prove that i’m real. i’m tired of feeling like i’m auditioning for a spot in his life. he says we are "getting close," but if this is what closeness feels like, i think i’d rather be alone.

«no tags for this post. i'm tired»

[hi-naanna]

soft hours/hard truths.

i’m tired of being the person who makes everyone else feel seen while i’m standing right here, invisible.

​we talk about wanting to be loved, but it’s so much more than that. i want to be chosen. i don’t want to be the person you talk to just because i’m there or because you’re bored. i want to be the person you actually want to talk to. i want to be a priority, not just a backup plan you remember when everyone else is busy.

​it’s exhausting to be understood only when it’s convenient for you. i want to feel safe enough to tell you how i feel without worrying that you’ll get mad or walk away. i want to be cherished, like i actually matter, not just tolerated like a chore you have to get through.

​the saddest part is realizing i’ve been playing both roles in this story. i’m the one giving the love, and i’m also the one trying to convince myself that you’re giving it back.

​i don’t want to be used for my heart while mine is breaking. i just want to be loved for who i am, not for what i can do for you.

[seraphinaaa]

Deep down we both know

[hi-naanna]

The silence isn't empty, it's heavy.

[hi-naanna]

The art of staying until you’re empty. // 00:45

I’m no longer fighting the cycle. I’m just letting it happen.

There’s a strange kind of peace in finally accepting that this is all it’s ever going to be. No grand growth, no labels, no mutual support. Just me, listening to your ghosts while mine are left to haunt me in silence.

I’m tolerating the neglect not because I’m brave, but because I’m waiting for the version of me that loved you to finally run out of air. I am slowly becoming a stranger to this feeling. I’m just waiting for the last drop of "us" to dry up so I can finally walk away without looking back.

[hi-naanna]

🌙 Head in the Clouds // 00:01

I often think about bad things before they even happen. I tell myself I was just "preparing for the pain." I think that if I imagine the worst, it won't hurt as much later. But the truth is, I was just hurting myself now. I am tired because I am fighting a war that isn't real. I'm worrying about things that have a 0% chance of happening.

This year I really want to practice not to overthink and I tell this to myself:

I will not trade my peace today for a 'maybe' tomorrow.

Most of my "what ifs" will never come true.

I deserve to feel calm today.

Now, I stop trying to fix a future that hasn't happened yet. I'll just breathe. I will be okay. I am safe and everything will work out. 🌙✨

[hi-naanna]

I like hiding in my bedroom. Or maybe it’s not hiding maybe it’s where I live most honestly.

[hi-naanna]

The Wrong Person

January 03, 2025 | 6:42

Today, I realized August is the wrong person for me. I did not want it to be true. I waited and hoped for something that never came. My heart feels heavy when I think about him. I still care, even if I shouldn’t. Some feelings stay, even when the person is not meant to.

[hi-naanna]

Sunrise

December 29, 2025 | 11:51

This morning I carried the weight of yesterday into the night, thinking I had nothing left. But here I am still breathing, still standing, watching the sky turn gold. Maybe I wasn’t empty. Maybe I was just waiting for the light to return.