HI Spy

An insider's guide to Hawaii art, culture and politics

[hi-spy]

Welcome to our year-ending “Choose Your Headline!” edition of HI-Spy. Ready your darts. Get set. And this week’s choices, 3 drawn from last Sunday’s Star-Advertiser, are:

1. Violent Vegan Haole GMO Protesters Threaten Mom-n-Pop Monsanto

Subtitle: Horrifying Tales From Kauai of...

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Llewyn (left) can't even sell out without getting all soulful.

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O My Twentysomethings, Where Art Thou?

Inside Llewyn Davis tied me all up in knots.

Cutting through the consumer clutter of the winter film season like a duck-call blatting across a marsh, Inside Llewyn Davis is a gift, straight and simple: a movie that is human, tuneful, funny, wacky, nasty and most of all artistically honest. It leaves you on edge as to where it’s going every second that it’s going there. That’s another way of saying it’s suspenseful, but the mystery here, and the tension, is both inward and intimate. The story, of a folk singer who simply won’t wise up and make peace with selling out, stars a new actor whose performance left me wrung-out (and grateful).

O Oscar Isaac, where did you come from?

As you may have heard, or noticed from the trailer, there is also a cat. No, this is not the Coen Brothers selling out to YouTube. The cat plays an integral part in the story, and sometimes not a very nice one. This may be the first time in cinema that a cat provoked a revelation about a main character’s flawed soul and invoked the shape-shifting Dublin of James Joyce in dreary Northeastern America.

Ulysses Marmelade, your agent is on line 4.

Better, actually, than the cat and almost as good as Oscar Isaac is Carey Mulligan as the high fructose folk songstress who, off-stage, is most memorably foul. She’s also a window into the showbiz calculations that Llewyn Davis (Isaacs) tries to pretend he can evade.

All well and good. However, there is one question that I have about ILD only someone in his or her twenties can answer:

O Twentysomething, without having any experience of the early 60s folk and hootenanny (oh, blessedly risible word) scenes, except of course for Brooklyn hipster variants, nor of the pre-electric music moment that looms behind the period and film, what did you think of this movie? For me, every reference was sharp and pointed and simultaneously cringe-worthy and deeply nostalgic. For you, maybe, meh? Or is it capable of being appreciated through the retro-vision that has made look-backs like Anchorman 2 and American Hustle the current hot thing?

Please send your thoughts to [email protected] and we’ll include them in a future post.

Anyway, if an evocation of an elegaic wintry week in hot humid Hawaii is just what you need, this is your film no matter what your demo. It was for us. After the screening we found ourselves in the lobby of the Ward Theatres tossing around theories and did-ya-sees with some friends. It was a simulacrum of a snowy afternoon in the old Cafe Reggio or La Lanterna when we, too, were poor and downtrodden but also secretly convinced that an artistic breakthrough was just around the corner.

What was just around the corner in 1982 was NYU buying up a bunch of blocks of the village and tearing them down to make dorms. Then came real gentrification. At least in the Ward Theatres of today we are under no such illusions. We know Kaka’ako and its 29 towers are just around the corner. We’ve lost the war. Our stakes are lower in Honolulu. But that’s no reason not to see, or to love, Inside Llewyn Davis.

 ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS YOU MAY ASK YOURSELF

Yes, it’s a Christmas movie. Take the family. Unless they’re Duck Dynasty fundamentalist Christian.

Or rather, make that a “holiday” movie, with no apologies to Sarah Palin. Because, yes, it’s a Coen Brothers movie. Also, take the family even if they’re fundamentalists. Payback for that turkey table talk about same-sex marriage and Obamacare.

Yes, it’s got some great music—just no Christmas carols.

On the other hand, there’s no “Kumbaya,” either.

Yes, the name is Welsh, but it’s not a common or even existing variant of Llewellyn. Looks like the Coen boys made one up.

Yes, that double “Ll” in Llewyn and Llewellyn is odd-looking, but you pronounce it as if it doesn’t exist. Officially it’s a voiceless alveolal lateral frictive.

Yes, I also think that “voiceless” is a tip-off. Probably stands for something.

Yes, there’s some trouble with the ending. It’s a Coen Brothers movie, after all. Those boys don’t know when to quit.

Yes, that’s Justin Timberlake continuing his amazing run of “I can’t believe it’s Justin Timberlake” film appearances. Startin’ to really like the guy.

Yes, John Goodman is there, and what a relief to see him again, even if the role seems like a continuation of the one in O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Yes, you heard right. It is a continuation of the role of the con artist in O Brother, Where Are Thou? As in, like, incarnation. Or maybe transcendental incorporation, like those figures from Greek mythology who kept showing up in James Joyce’s Ulysses.

Wait, wouldn’t that make Oscar Isaac’s Llewyn Davis...

Leopold Bloom?  

Dang me, dang me, they oughta take a rope and hang me...

 --Shamus

[hi-spy]

THROW A DART, HIT A SCANDAL

Welcome to our year-ending “Choose Your Headline!” edition of HI-Spy. Ready your darts. Get set. And this week’s choices, 3 drawn from last Sunday’s Star-Advertiser, are:

1.      Violent Vegan Haole GMO Protesters Threaten Mom-n-Pop Monsanto

Subtitle: Horrifying Tales From Kauai of Peace-Loving Locals Being Forced to Beat-Down Irritatingly Vocal Malihini to Defend The Unregulated Pesticide Spraying and GMO Crop-Growing of Their MultiNational Corporate Employers

      The Story: In which the local monopolist paper, by omission and misattribution and misquotation positions a leading anti-GMO activist, Joan Conrow, as anti-anti-GMO protest; hints that violently haole vegans provoked attacks on themselves by sweetly aloha-humming farmers; claims that a mayor’s veto of a council vote was all-but-illegally overridden by a shocking appointment of a council member at the 11th hour—but never mentions that a council member abruptly resigned to take a job with said mayor’s patronage machine, leaving the council short of a majority on the eve of the override...

      If the above were written from the opposite point of view you could easily assert that Monsanto et al. were quietly encouraging so-called locals to beat up activists. Same burden of proof. It doesn’t need to be a written memo. Monsanto is already saying: Wow, what if we were to shut down and there goes your job? Hmmmm?

      Let’s say you’re getting paid to spray and also beat up someone who’s anti-spray. Aren’t you also getting paid to beat up people? Discuss.

Source: Honolulu Star-Advertiser, Sunday, 12/15, “Seeds of Division”  

2.      To Stay (Barely) Employed, the Construction Industry Needs 50 New Condo Towers A Year; 500 over the Next 10 Years; 1,000 For the 20-Year Career of a Single Construction Worker

Subtitle: Help Save the Authentic Construction Worker Lifestyle!

The Story: In a startlingly frank admission, an official from the PAC-like Hawaii Construction Alliance explained that a new Kuhio Waikiki tower sprung on unsuspecting residents (with the city’s connivance) will provide “24 months of employment” for 600 workers out of the organization’s 15,000 members.

If you do the math that means each 280-340-unit condo (the size of the two Kuhio towers) is worth one job for 300 people per year. Do the math again: to employ all 15,000 workers we need 50 towers a year.

Yes, 50 towers a year. Remember how a few months ago Kaka’ako was suddenly slated for 29 towers? How do you think they arrived at that number?

Let’s run those numbers one more time. One tower over 24 months means we're providing a quarter of a job for each HCA worker a year. A quarter of a job. For full employment, that means the next 10 years we’ll see 500 towers; the next 20 will see 1,000 towers; and so on. That's the true price of a 20-year career of a construction worker. Now we understand what the quote meant a couple months ago, the one where the state economist said “the economy is passing the torch from tourism to construction”—adding, chillingly, “as expected.” As expected. They’ve known all along.

If you combine this with yet another chilling detail—the state permitting and planning head saying that sea-level rise will mean no Oahu beaches by 2035, effectively ending tourism as an economic engine, we are left with that sinking feeling familiar heretofore only to residents of Vanuatu and Bangladesh.

At 50 towers a year we get a new state motto: lucky you leave Hawaii.

So we’re watching Hawaii destroy itself. For the benefit of mainland and global investors, of course—the money doesn’t stay here once the towers are up. Jobs? Short-term. All to keep happy a bunch of lager louts who never outgrew their collection of Tonka Trucks.  

However, political reality makes it a state priority to preserve authentic local and Hawaiian culture, or, in its place, a culture of high-wage-work-whenuwant, collect unemployment restadatime, own big trucksnstuff, wear color-coordinated t-shirts to meetings, beatdown Malihini for exercise...

      Source: Honolulu Star-Advertiser, 12/15/13, “Second Tower in Waikiki Plan Raises Furor”

      (Note: the math has been re-done since this was first posted; the results didn't get any better.)

3.      Rail Isn’t Working! But 140 Political Patronage Employees Are

Subtitle: So What If Italian-Based Contractor Ansaldo Is Mafia/Bankrupt/Incompetent as well as Refusing to Perform?

The Story: “We knew that already,” sighs HART head Grabauskas, happy that at least Parsons Brinckerhoff gave a job to a Malihini like him (and 139 others). Ansaldo, which has been under investigation for Mafia ties back in Italy for almost a decade, is claiming it never promised a flexible train configuration based on passenger use projections. That means, folks, we will never see more than a two-car train with about 64 seats. (Doesn’t seem like a lot to serve a couple hundred thousand West Siders and we pointed that out for years...but $6 billion buys a lot of silence in this town.) Now Ansaldo is daring HART to sue them for non-performance, since then they can withhold train cars and charge overruns to the moon, win the mediation (since the state and city notoriously can’t write or read contracts), and raise the overall bill into the $7 billion range.

You are paying for this, right? Did you see your new tax assessment this week? Ours went up 33 percent. Yes, that rail is quite an income redistribution scheme. And it lines the pockets of 140 hack politician operatives.

      Source: “What we needed to show was...[ellipsis courtesy of Honolulu Star-Advertiser]...the package of positives outweighed the decision. When we look at this, this was the right decision. There’s no way this decision doesn’t save us money.” –Dan Grabauskas, HART exec director. Honolulu Star-Advertiser, 12/15/13, “Rail Agency Alters Train Design.”

 4.      State Wants Inouye, Obama Libraries But Won’t Put One in Nankuli

Subtitle: Priorities Say Everything About Morality

The Story: Nanakuli has been waiting for a public library since the 1970s. But the political interests and seed money men only care about digging another trough to stick their snouts in. Who needs educated children? They’re only going to have ideas. We know where those lead.

 5.      UH Football Program Losses Mean Cutting Up to 12 Other Athletic Programs

Subtitle:  One Big Loser, Football Gets a Break and Over $2 Mil of Debt Forgiveness

The Story: They were an entertaining, never-quit bunch of guys who would’ve won more games with a defense. But the economics are against them in the newly re-aligned college sports world. If you follow the money, it’s going far, far away, over the rainbow. Rainbow Football should follow it. The UH sports program can compete in smaller sports; it doesn’t need 54-man rosters flying all over the country to lose while paying other schools ($245,000 apiece!) to come here and win.  

 ###

So, yes, the past couple of weeks have seen the wheels coming off Hawaii in a lot of ways. Climate change, over-construction, the train to nowhere eating up fantastic amounts of public money for absolutely nothing... Indeed, there are so many incipient disasters thrusting up from our good red earth it almost seems Biblical—if only that word didn’t conjure up the specter of God’s wrath over the same-sex marriage bill. (Then again, Coleen Machado invoked the Lord’s name against the sinners and look what happened to her...)

Still, to bravely dare the Biblical theme: Is the end nigh? No, not quite. At 25 towers a year we still have a good 10 years before a thick brown cloud of smog settles in permanently, our streets and oceans run black with sewage, drug abuse and disease and violence stalk our barrios and favelas—and the great tax generating machine of tourism decamps for good. Then it’ll get interesting. Maybe Monsanto will be running human-GMO trials by then, using those spare bodies Hawaii has produced without purpose, place, or payroll to come up with ways to prolong the lives of the 1 percent.

And who know, the Star-Advertiser might even be around to report on it.

--Shamus

[hi-spy]

FREE TICKETS TO SCREENING TODAY, THURSDAY DEC 12 at 7 pm! SEE BELOW! 

Caption: The folkie souls of Inside Llewyn Davis sing into a can in this scene from the latest film by the Coen Brothers.

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FREE Tickets for 7 pm screening tonight: Inside Llewyn Davis

Hey, HI Spy followers--here's your chance to relive or more likely discover the East Village folk music scene of the 1960s through the Coen Brothers latest film, Inside Llewyn Davis which some say is loosely modeled on the great and beautiful loser Ramblin' Jack Elliot and others say Dave Van Ronk and maybe, who knows, a little Bobby D too. So hey, people, go to WWW.GOFOBO.COM and enter in the code 6RXYTG to get two seats to the advance screening at 7 pm at Consolidated Ward Theaters. 

[hi-spy]

AbcropalypseNow

Will the Governor circumvent county democracy to impose GMOs on the Islands?

We spied…Gov. Neil Abercrombie deplaning at Hilo Airport as darkness fell on Friday, Nov. 22.  Why? Things had been breaking bad for the GMO industry in Hawai’i. On Tuesday, the Hawai’i County Council passed Bill 113, which bans the expansion of GMO fields on the Big Island. On Saturday, the Kaua’i County Council overrode Kaua’i Mayor Bernard Carvalho's veto of its new GMO/ pesticide disclosure law.

Let’s say you want a revolution.

Let’s say you get it.

Now what?

On Kaua’i and the Big Island the people have spoken. On Maui the threat of another popular upwelling brought Monsanto to the bargaining table—well, to the koa altar where payments are delivered in exchange for votes—where the GMO giant signed a pesticide disclosure agreement with Maui Mayor Alan Arakawa.

So what’s a Democratic governor in the most Democratic state in the Union to do? If you’re Neil Abercrombie, once bearded lefty, lately Tyrannosaurus Rex of the Governor’s Office, you declare war on the very right of the Counties to run their communities.

That’s the takeaway following the Big Island vote Nov. 19, which Mayor Billy Kenoi has 10 days to study before deciding to implement or not. Kenoi sounds like he’s sweating, too. But that’s nothing to the fever the votes have spiked in biotech companies, Senate Agricultural Committee Chairman Clarence Nishihara, and Abercrombie.

Abercrombie in particular has come across like a contestant in an Al Haig Impersonation Challenge, crying more and more loudly, “I’m in charge here!”

Pre-emption tactic #1:  The day before the Kaua’i Council was to vote on its override, the state announced its voluntary pesticide disclosure "Good Neighbor" guidelines, initiated by Abercrombie for Kaua’i only. 

Pre-emption tactic #2:  The Governor's Office's  immediate statement following the Big Island vote: “Any decisions to impose additional regulations above and beyond those already established by federal regulatory agencies should be based on proven science. The administration will continue to work toward a regulatory structure that protects and balances the needs of farmers, Hawaii’s agricultural industry, and the people of Hawaii.”

Notice who came last there? The people. Sorry, folks. And that “proven science” line comes straight out of the uber-right-wing playbook of Oklahoma climate denier Senator Inhofe.

For Abercrombie, the votes on Kaua’i and now the Big Island must’ve felt like a shocking case of free-range chickens coming home to roost. Leftist Neil in 1970 would’ve led the charge against Monsanto, Pioneer, Syngenta et al buying up land on O’ahu, Maui, Moloka’i and  Kaua’i and buying off nearly every politician in town. Military advocate Neil ca. 1990 was still a progressive and definitely would’ve fought on behalf of his constituents, aka the People, aka the Voters What Brung Him to the Big Dance.

Today Neil is a total schlemiel. He’s been wrong-footed on every urban land use decision, every ag lands grab, on Koa Ridge, Ho’opili, rail and, well, everything.   

Is this not the profile of a power-lunging hypocrite? Well, shame on us, too. For too long we simply couldn’t bear to tally up the anti-democratic measures he’s taken. This latest, if it should come to pass, feels historic, though. Our “other” islands are already too easily ignored and overlooked. To place their governance in the hands of a faux O’ahu ali’i is to tempt fate.

Once Abercrombie and his successors in office have complete control over Kaua’i, Maui, the Big Island and Moloka’i, the developers will begin chewing up ag lands over there, too. But that’s not where it will end. How about a landfill for O’ahu on the Big Island? Who’s to stop Neil? How about rezoned military exercise areas? Neil would go. Industrial parks? LNG terminals? Nuclear reactors? Fukushima don’t surf.

It all starts here, if Abercrombie’s assertion of jurisdiction over powers traditionally reserved to county government becomes law.

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A Don’t Miss One-Day Filmmaking Boot Camp

Are you a budding filmmaker? Eager to capture the moral and economic bankruptcy of Honolulu and expose the cynics in charge? Or maybe you just want to make a better music video and are tired of winging it on your iPhone. No matter what your goal is, you can profit mightily by signing up for the one-day course, “The Building Blocks of Filmic Expression,” at UH-Manoa’s Outreach this November 16. The boot camp is the brainchild of top PBS hand Robert Pennybacker, who has 30 years’ experience in TV specials, features, shorts and promotions. He’s also the executive producer of the groundbreaking “Hiki No” program, training student digital video journalists from all over the state to produce their own segments, which air on PBS every week.

http://www.focusmauinui.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Pennybacker-Robert_R.jpg

“What students will learn,” says Pennybacker, “is how to use montage (editing), space (composition), rhythm, and premise (story structure) to express themselves in film the way musicians express themselves through melody, tone, and tempo, or the way choreographers express themselves through movement, space, and rhythm.” Adds Pennybacker: “ In other words, they will be made aware of the film artist’s palette.”

Pennybacker notes that if you were born after 1950, chances are you speak film as a second language. If you were born after 1980, you’ve unconsciously assimilated the grammar and storytelling techniques of film to the point where it comes as naturally as breathing. Now here’s your chance to formalize your knowledge and take your film potential to the next level.

To sign up, go to the direct link: http://www.outreach.hawaii.edu/pnm/programs/2013/EVENT-L12865.asp  

Or else visit the UH-Manoa Outreach homepage and search “The Building Blocks of Filmic Expression”: www.outreach.hawaii.edu/pnm/programs.

--Shamus

[hi-spy]

FOOD SNOOPS: Italian Bread Recipe

This past summer I've been obsessed in pursuit of the PERFECT loaf of bread. You know, the kind with a soft, chewy interior and a crusty, crisp golden crust. The kind you can eat without butter or olive oil or any gunk 'cos it's just that good. After some practice and yeast-y mistakes, I've finally accomplished something close! Lo, and behold, the Italian Bread.

INGREDIENTS:

2 cups lukewarm water (~100°F) 1 package active dry yeast (I used 2 and 1/4 tsp of instant yeast) 5 to 5¾ cups bread flour (I only used about 4 cups) 1 tablespoon light brown sugar 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 2½ teaspoons salt 1 egg white, lightly beaten 2 tablespoons sesame seeds (optional)

DIRECTIONS:

1. Stir the yeast into ½ cup of the warm water. Make sure it's not too hot or else you'll kill the yeast. A good way to test is by dipping your finger into the water and making sure it's comfortable enough to touch. The yeast will proof and rise and get all foamy as you measure out the dry ingredients.

2. Combine 3 cups flour, sugar and salt in a bowl. Add the yeast mixture, remaining water and olive oil. Transfer dough to lightly floured surface and need by hand for 7-8 minutes, or until a smooth, firm, elastic dough is formed. Add another cup of flour. Make sure not to OVER DO it though; the recipe calls for 5-5 1/4, but I only added about 4.

3. Transfer the dough to a lightly oiled bowl and spray the dough with a thin coating of cooking spray. Wrap the bowl with plastic wrap and set aside to proof in a warm, draft-free place for 1½ hours or until doubled in size.

4. Remove the plastic wrap, punch down and flatten the rounded dough with the heel of your hand. Divide into two. Roll the dough up tightly, sealing the seam well after each roll. The dough should be elongated and oval-shaped, with tapered and rounded (not pointed) ends.

5. Preheat the oven lined with a baking stone or unglazed quarry tiles to 425°F. Do a dance. Eat a cookie.

6. Place the dough on a baker's peel heavily dusted with flour, or alternately on a baking sheet. Allow the dough to proof, loosely covered with a floured canvas cloth, for 30 minutes, or until doubled in size. 

7. Brush the dough with the egg white and sprinkle the sesame seeds over the top. Using a razor blade or sharp knife, slash the dough lengthwise about 1/4-inch deep, keeping the blade at a 45 degree angle.

8. Spray the dough generously with water from a water bottle and place in the oven on the baking stone. Put a tray filled with water on the bottom rung for steam, which ensures that crispy delish crust.

9. Bake the dough for a total of 45 minutes, or until a hollow thud is heard when tapping the bottom of the bread. Allow the bread to cool before slicing, but sometimes you just can't wait.

[hi-spy]

[hi-spy]

Chow Going Down? Not so fast...

Shamus here. A word to the wise seems in order... Don’t park in the fee lot of the Sidestreet Inn unless you plan to visit your car often—the tow trucks will steal your ride as soon as you’re inside, no matter how much time you pay for. Shamus got lucky and caught the shysters as they hitched up the old Nissan. It’s not often you win one against two grifters with a license to steal your wheels.

I wish I had their names. I’d let ‘em taste the lash in print. Oh, I’d make them pay. I'd put their kids names in the paper, their dead sainted mother's too.

Why? Because scorched-earth personal destruction of personages in the public eye is a Hawaii thing. It’s our cockfight fix. Give us Sen. Donna Kim in the ring with M.R.C. Greenwood and watch those razors shine. We’ll take that over actual insight and investigation anytime.

M.R.C. didn’t do anything wrong, except not get back to Kim fast enough about her lil’ boy’s non-existent application to UH law school. Still she got sliced and diced while Team Patron allowed the Wonder Blunder culprit, now-former athletic director Jim Donovan, to put the squeeze on for a couple hundred very large ones and a new office in which to do nothing.

But then Donovan had roots here. Which is what makes the Chow Ultimatum pop off the pages of the local paper. (That’s Norm Chow, our UH football coach, in case you’ve been following some other minor story, like gay marriage.)

The last public whipping avant-M.R.C. was of Evan Dobelle, the UH Prez who resembled a door-to-door insurance salesman and never met an expense account he couldn’t cook. There were plenty of reasons to say to hell with Dobelle. He had less of an academic pedigree than our outdoor cat, the noble Stripes; he was a nebbish with a weak underbite; in short, he was such a dumb choice you had to wonder if somebody on the Regents or the Legislature forgot to put on her reading glasses and thought the last name was Dudoit or Duvaschelle.

Or maybe they thought it was Dobash, the glutton’s choice of chocolate cake at Zippy’s.

Now it’s Norm’s turn. It’s Chow Time, the pun on everyone’s lips. The UH football coach has been in the batter’s circle for a few weeks. Now he’s up and the Star-Advertiser is throwing heat. No joke—these are beanballs we’ve been reading for the last 48 hours. When a hometown paper takes aim at the local football hero, first Asian-American head coach, etc., it’s news.

It’s even bigger news when it feels as if the writers have intentionally misconstrued his remarks, especially since they were in the room when he made them.

But hey, I wasn’t in the room—the press room after the 49-10 Utah State loss, that is. But it sure sounds like Norm really was joshing around with his ol’ bud on the local Utah paper, saying he was “too old for this game.” Heck, I’ve heard 12-year-olds say it. I’ve said it. (Every year.)

So what’s up with this? Does it matter? Should we care when Kaka’ako sewers are suddenly discovered to be an erupting volcano of merde only after the city has lazily signed off on a plan to put up 29 towers and add 20,000 porcelain thrones above el caldera de caca. That’s a heck of a new stadium for something, come to think of it.

Backstory? Norm Chow never really had a honeymoon upon arriving at UH, never warmed up local hearts the way a local-boy-makes-good was supposed to. The word I heard from some passionate fans on the street—including a clutch of women, the kind who wear UH jerseys to the KCC Farmer’s Market—was surprisingly reserved. “I hear he’s abrasive,” said one to me a couple of years ago. It was like hearing somebody’s Mom admit their bouncing baby boy was a playground biter.

Monday’s column by Dave Reardon on Chow’s public musings was brutal. It was also a watershed moment. The lead columnists have held their fire and played good soldier for much of the season, but they’re not the types to wager their reputations on playing dumb. (Especially after they waited too long on June Jones, but then, going 12-0 in the regular season makes up for a multitude of sins in football.) They got the green light. Maybe they even got a nudge and a wink: Time to take down Chow.

Is it a coincidence that this is happening when Navy is the next opponent? The coach of Navy is a former Radford High and UH player, who also was an assistant at UH. He’s a stellar character and a beloved leader of men, as they say. He’s still a young man, as Tower of Power sang. And he’s Samoan. So how come he’s not head coach of UH?

Instead we have a coach who says he’s too old for the game, that he could take it as a young man but not now, not anymore. A coach who isn’t asking his boys to win one for the Gipper, but for the Griper. And we have a newspaper suddenly baying for his blood.

Chow down? Ain’t gonna happen. But it’s getting ugly.

PS This week’s prediction is Go Navy. They pushed Notre Dame to the limit last week, gaining nearly 400 yards, most of it on the ground. Even if the WaneBow passing game is on fire, it’s hard to score when the other team won’t give up the ball. With a depleted defense the odds grow longer. It won’t matter whether the team leadership gets their mojo back. Navy has leadership and discipline and a system that suits its recruiting limitations. You wonder if coach Ken Niumatalolo was offered the job at UH and if so, ever had a chance with our Las Vegas-loving Regents and Leg. They were probably scared of a straight arrow; next Saturday the Rainbow Warriors will know that feeling and take the arrow in the neck. The reality of an 0-8 record makes 0-9 a formality.

  This week’s prediction: Navy: 33, UH 14

[hi-spy]

Genetically Modified Democracy!

Kauai’s “Boss Seed” Carvalho Vetoes GMO Pesticide Bill

WE SPIED... Kauai mayor Bernard Carvalho proving that he is, indeed, the first Genetically Modified Human on earth with the vetoing of the pesticide-labeling Bill 2491... Sources say the rogue gene inserted into Carvalho’s genome sequence is probably a tapeworm, which would account for the copious amounts of Monsanto slush money he can consume without exploding... Also, if “Boss Seed” thinks doing this on Halloween means he’ll be getting further “treats” for his “trick” he may be in for a rude surprise come election time...

WE SPIED... Shamus the fearless football prognosticator, downing his cups at the Sidestreet Inn, announcing to all and sundry that if UH could go on a two-week road trip then he damn well could, too... When pointed out that a two week road trip on Oahu would require circling the island at least 56 times at current rates of travel and mph, he backtracked and offered this week’s analysis in short choppy snarls:  Shamus here. The Death Crawl... Flatlining... Losing the game in the opening kickoff...  None of it is fair. This team had an offense! 340 yards per game from Sean “The Snake” Schroeder shoulda meant a victory or two by now... But Norm Chow goes into a winnable Colorado State game and puts in not one but two sub QBs on single-snap trick plays and each g—d—n time it results in an interception... This isn’t coaching, it’s choking. Well, I’m mad as hell and I don’t know if I can take it anymore. Sure, I waffled and suggested UH could take Colorado State 36-30—but cavilled in the last line and said they wouldn’t. That was chicken---t of me. And I hated being right. CS didn’t score in the second half and still beat us 35-28. So let’s get it over with now. I have every opponent against U—but that doesn’t mean I don’t bleed lilikoi and Koloa rum. Which reminds me: Waitress, another please! Or so the inebriated expert expounded. We’ll spare you the rest and summarize. He says the team knows it has a monkey on its back. They should’ve beaten Colorado State by 10 points, even spotting them 2 TDs in the first quarter. The good news is that when you go this low, the worst is in your rear view mirror. The bad news for UH is that Norm Chow is driving the bus. In reverse... Utah State 33, UH 26... Let’s call it a night, shall we?

WE SPIED... At Point Panic last week a memorial for waterman, poet and good friend David Parrish hosted by his brother Duggar, mother Judy and old friend Robert Pennybacker... Many of the 50-plus crowd in attendance had been or were members of the Water Safety or Fire Departments where Parrish spent much of his working life... Others were bodysurfers, which was Parrish’s passion and, come to think of it, parish... Parrish was cameraman on the Mark Cunningham bodysurfing film Waves to Freedom, directed by Pennybacker, and also played the original thrash-rock score with Duggar and Albert Rosen... In 1999, the New York Times quoted him thusly: “According to David Parrish, a lifeguard, poet and bodysurfer, “It’s like flying into the wind.” 

[hi-spy]

City and State Release New Map of Oahu in 2020

Using funds appropriated by the State Legislature and HART for site-appropriate art in rail stations, PRP has created its submission, "Masters of Concrete," which is said to be on the fast track for approval. While building a stadium for viewing big wave events in Waimea Valley has not been approved yet, the state is entering into negotiations with a major sports television network. Likewise, the Waikiki Casino pictured is for placeholding purposes, given that the Leahi Crater site is also available for a glass-domed "Gamble-arium" with spectacular star-gazing a major draw. All in all, a rosy future is predicted for those millionaires, missionaries and military brass lucky "to live Hawaii."

[hi-spy]

CONCRETE PARADISE: Turtle Bay Expansion Sails Through

Welcome to the new state of Aloha. Please watch the video on the cabin screen and enjoy planning what Oahu has to offer. Not for nothing are we known as "The Concrete Paradise!"

Ignored again:  Windward community plea, 2013

Today, Oct 23, 2013 will go down in Hawaiian history as the day the North Shore died: the Turtle Bay expansion has been approved despite an Environmental Impact Statement that is over 20 years old. Two new hotel towers will rise in place of green space, beach and 'iwi burial sites. The 750 new units will be most likely condominiums, since the existing Turtle Bay is nowhere near 80 percent occupancy. The traffic to the North Shore isn't the worst thing--this decision opens the door to Envision Laie and its 875 units, the expansion of the Polynesian Culture Center and also of BYU-Hawaii. Nor is that all. There are plans for the 100 percent Mormon-owned development to add another 2,000 homes in tracts, with a four-lane highway in the works.   

So you thought that was exciting? Well, check out Our Incredible Kaka'ako, the keystone of Concrete Paradise. Locals are ecstatic at the prospect of over 29 condo towers going up, and show their loyalty by wearing colored t-shirts with the Logo: "More Maid Jobs, Bra!" Many are retrofitting their mini-vans so that, in additional to providing living space for the keikis, they can cruise the Kaka'ako streets selling designer tacos to residents stranded by flooding.

Please fasten your seatbelts as descents tend to be a little rocky.The city and state bankruptcy and subsequent surge of the unhoused means the pilot often has to dodge homeless encampments using the runways for temporary shelter...

http://cdn.zmescience.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/65253310_zmiv221o.jpg   

[hi-spy]

FOOD SNOOPS: 220 Grille

220 Grille may be located next to the cafeteria at Kapiolani Community College, but the student-run restaurant is surprisingly complex and memorable. Set to reopen  on November 13,  the restaurant's  closed just now, during midterms. As part of KCC's intermediate cooking class, 220 Grille is one of my favorite places to eat because its simple dishes, prepared and served by college kids, are consistently infused with local ingredients, bold flavors, and imaginative combinations.

The sirloin steak ($9) was delicious, grilled and served with a gently sweet red wine mushroom sauce. The meat was cooked medium rare as requested--all steaks, imho, should be medium rare. But the star of this plate was the side of taro croquettes, which was perfectly fried with a crispy crust that gave away to a tender, moist taro center. Practically gourmet! Served with a ratatouille and tomato salad, this dish was filling without being heavy, leaving room for the best part of 200 grille: dessert.

When I was a freshman just starting at KCC, I ate Chef Eddie's Famous Vanbanna Pie ($4) way too many times. Coming back, the dessert tasted just as good, even though Eddie no longer teaches the class. Just look at this photo and read the menu description: "Banana Infused Swiss Almond Vanilla Ice Cream on a Ritz Cracker Crust, served with Apple Banana Brûlée & Banana Rum Caramel Sauce."

DROOL. The crust, by far, is the best part of the dish, and the crunch of macademia nuts within the icecream. It's consistently good, every time I eat it, and leaves me wanting more...remember, remember, the 13th of November. Vanbanna pie, I be dreaming of you.

220 Grille

4303 Diamond Head Road

Tuesday - Friday

11am-12:45pm

[hi-spy]

UH Football 0-12, Kauai vs GMOs 6-1

UH Football Deathmeh: Game 7, Week 9

Who needs a football team to root for when you have Kauai?

  Will the old Staph Formation save the day against Colorado State?

This week’s game: Bye.

Last week’s predicted score: UNLV 26, UH 13

Last week’s actual score: UNLV 39, UH 37

Next week’s game prediction:  UH 36, Colorado State 30

  Shamus here, getting some R&R. Yes, we have a week off from UH football. And so do you. Feels good, doesn’t it? The angst of blowouts and over-at-halftime games followed by eating the bitter earth of a game lost in the final second has everyone feeling rundown and depressed.

Yeah, a week off sounds like just what the doctor ordered. About the only thing better would be 6 weeks off. That ain’t happening, of course, but still, looking ahead to 2014, how about taking 13 weeks off?

Just saying.

Shamus is also saying what’s happening over at Grambling State ought to give everyone in Hawaii pause. If you missed it, the historic black college had a player revolt last week; they held protests and sent letters to the administration and then refused to get on the bus to play Jackson State. Among the complaints: mold. As in everywhere. Multiple instances of staph infections. A weight-room floor that curled up like an autumn leaves. Players having to pay for Gatorade out of their own pockets.

All these will be familiar to UH fans who remember Colt Brennan’s memorable rant about lack of soap in the showers. (What Brennan didn’t mention, coach June Jones’ $1 million salary, was an example of why athletes out to take business courses: they might find out how exploited they are.) And, of course, UH has had its share of MRSA--antibiotic resistant staph.

At Grambling, Coach Doug Williams went out and fund-raised enough to replace the weight-room floors. The Grambling President took the money and used it to fix the floors of another building that the team didn’t use. Then he and the Athletic Director flew to a couple of games while the team took 17-hour bus rides. Then he fired Williams.

Hey, the Hawaii Legislature could learn a thing or two from these guys!

Grambling has 18 straight Div 1 losses. UH has 17. State funding in Louisiana is trending down with more serious issues on the table, such as the aftermath of the Great Recession and Hurricane Katrina. With UH public education in crisis the big UH worry is Aloha Stadium attendance. It's way off projections, so our funding is dipping, too. And our deficit is growing.

Athletic Director Ben Jay’s request only two weeks ago for a budget increase of $8 million now seems laughable.   

Looking for something to cheer about? How about that 6-1 victory over GMO pesticide poisoning on Kauai? Now there’s an island that has always resisted tyranny—well, outsiders trying to take over. (Oahuans, take note.) Shamus was pounding his slipper on the podium and shouting, “Yes, Monsanto! Take that!” A far greater effort than any football game, with more popular support, led to a stirring last-second repulse of the Quisling forces of the Carvalho-Abercrombie-Payola juggernaut. Who needs a football team to root for when you have Kauai?

Next week UH ought to be in the ballgame with Colorado State, but the thing about second-tier state schools is they have a mean streak. Ditto for service academies. 

Countdown to 0-12 has begun. To Shamus, an equal opportunity optimist, there are good reasons to think the WaneBows will win one. Their names are... Shutdown, Sequester and Nope. If we can’t beat Colorado State next weekend, it’s over. In fact, it probably ended when the GOP failed to shut down government. Although Army and Navy had been exempted to play, who knows what four weeks of financial chaos might’ve wrought. They might’ve had to go off and fight invaders at the Canadian border. With those 2 forfeits, UH could’ve boasted a 2-12 record, which would be one more Div I win than last year. 

Now our hopes rest on locker room staph or a nasty e. coli in the visiting team’s luau. Or, to be fair to an offense which has gone lights-out on several occasions, on the UH defense. Here’s where the week’s rest could help. Colorado State is the least impressive opponent left.

 So Shamus goes out on a limb once more and predicts the W:

 UH 36, Colorado State 30

 But in his gut he knows how it’s really going to turn out.

[hi-spy]

Kauai Goes for GMO Right to Know

In a victory for citizens' right to know what's being released—and when— into our air, water and food, the Kauai County Council early today passed into law the "pesticide disclosure" bill #2491 by a 6-1 vote.

Haleiwa rally for consumer right to know

Application of restricted-use pesticides (RUPs) to farm fields will now have to be publicly announced  both prior to and following treatment, along with the identity of the chemicals.

"Anybody who lives within 1500 feet [of farm fields] can choose to go on the list and get weekly emails, texts or phone calls as to what day a company plans to spray what chemical," Andrea Brower, a Kauai writer and consumer advocate, told Hi Spy. "Post-application disclosure is even more specific—what they sprayed, on what field, in what amount, date, time, wind speed and direction. That's what's going to really be meaningful in helping identify if there are health impacts," Brower said. The bill also mandates that Kauai county order health and environmental studies tracking effects of pesticide  application.

 No-spray buffer zones will have to be established between fields treated with pesticides and homes, schools, hospitals, roads and waterways. The growing of crops infused with genetically modified organisms (GMOs) will also have to be revealed.  Companies affected are those operating Kauai's largest farms: the GMO seed concerns DuPont Pioneer, Syngenta, Dow and BASF, and Kauai Coffee. growers. A Pioneer spokesperson complained to  The New York Times that the bill unfairly focuses on GMO seed companies.

"It is inaccurate to call the movement 'anti-GMO,'" Brower counered.  "On Kauai, Bill 2491 is about environmental justice, about the alarming health and environmental impacts of this industry."