Hiaku

I am just a random person, I may have original content one day

[alienfuckerdeluxe]

Aliens: Wow you guys sure are completely normal and not at all indescribably horny.

NASA *beating the alien fuckers with a broom*: Yep. Just a completely normal species. no inappropriate lusting for extraterrestrial booty here, no sir. 

I couldn’t let this be hidden in the replies

[eyesofthesunflower]

[ID: reply by lusciouslusus that reads,

“We zoom out slightly to reveal the aliens are ALSO beating their own alien-fuckers away with a space-broom.”

End ID]

[gaynaturalistghost]

As an asexual, I vibe with NASA on this one. It’s… a metaphor.

[tench]

I don’t. Let them out

[dragongirldreams]

[smegorl]

@vigilantsycamore

[val-ritz]

so i was talking to my grandmother about old-school video games and she was all “y'know there was one game i used to play, and it had like a maze, and it was underground, and there was a guy in first person and he had a weapon” so knowing her penchant for puzzle games, i started guessing like myst, or legend of grimrock so we start hunting through these 90’s-era games featuring dungeon crawls. turns out. it was not a puzzle game. it was nothing close to a puzzle game. apparently, in the mid-90s, my grandmother would sit down and play fucking Wolfenstein 3D and listen to AC/DC for like hours on end.

[dikubutto]

Au contraire, the puzzle was “how to kill Nazis” and the answer was “use gun”

[orphiclovers-deactivated2026032]

dogs might look like their owners but cat people always have a cat with the same mental illness as them

[gean-grey-blog]

My last cat was owned by my friend's Trekkie uncle who passed very suddenly in a car crash. The family just couldn't take him and asked me to possibly foster him until they could. I almost immediately adopted him.

I would set my computer to play a video for him when I left for work. He got mad if it wasn't star trek. He learned to hit the spacebar to pause and start it.

I am and have always been a Trekkie. One time I was having a shit day bc I was in the middle of MCAS starting to kick my butt and I was just crying on my couch. He hopped onto the table and started star trek for me

Then he just stared at me like "did that work?"

And this was his staring face so yes of course it did

But I'm forever amused that I shared needing the same comfort show, with a cat

[i-used-to-be-a-spy]

Omg this is amazing

Like learning to pause???

And knowing it comforted you as well???

[gean-grey-blog]

It took him some trial and error, but he figured out pawing the keyboard in the area of the spacebar made it stop and start. And also at my mouse, which he had stolen bc I was paying too much attention to the video, in that picture

He was a very smart and like. Attenuated cat.

[machetelanding]

[aevios]

Having ADHD is so fun because sometimes youre looking for something that you use regularly and definitely put away in a smart and reasonable place and you have absolutely 0 hope of remembering where and finding it. And then other times ur like "hmm I need a some kind of small pointed object. I feel like i remember seeing a paperclip under the left couch cushion a month ago, i wonder if its still there" and it is

[aevios]

"wait but if u saw the paperclip why would u just leave it there?" its the adhd. Also if i had put it away then i wouldnt have been able to find it a month later when i needed it. So. Checkmate neurotypicals.

[oakenroots]

Problem is when the ADHD catalogue is out of date, when you go to check under the couch cushion for that paperclip and it ISNT there, sometimes your brain will just give you a montage of false memories of everywhere you've ever seen a paper clip, like this

[moringmark]

[ltwilliammowett]

Curious Polar bear (Ursus maritimus) standing upright and looking through porthole into the kitchen of arctic expedition ship M/S Stockholm in Svalbard, Spitsbergen, Norway by Andy Rouse               

[captain-price-officially]

[ltwilliammowett]

Hahaha that’s great. By the way, this is the picture of him with his head in.

[clover-patches]

[were--ralph]

Pee in a cup and leave it outside near ants - if they avoid it's probably not diabetes, if they seem interested, you might have sugar in your pee and should get checked out

what the fuck is this 1200's medical science 101

[spacecaptainglow]

As a specimen processor who checks body fluids for a living I can confirm this is a real, vaguely accurate ancient way of checking for diabetes that dates back at least to Pliny the Elder

[were--ralph]

no i know it's real but this isn't the middle ages I can literally go to the UC or ER if i need to?? why would i resort back to this

[were--ralph]

actually nvm the American healthcare system is absolutely too expensive you're right

[phantomrose96]

I want all animals to become sapient enough to produce art specifically because I want to see what sort of sex homunculus caricature each species would create if given the ability to draw

[phantomrose96]

Like we've already got the anime waifu with the needle-waist and watermelon-bazonkas and borzoi-legs and bug-eyes. Now show me a fucked-up stupid beetle as drawn by a horny beetle. I want to see what a cartoonishly sexy lion looks like according to lions. I want to see the most ridiculous drawing of a peahen that would have the peacocks squaring up by the fountain.

[phantomrose96]

We give this power to ostriches and they just start drawing people

[moringmark]

[carfuckerlynch]

if you love downloading pdfs you are likely to never use again you have GOT to get into knitting

[carfuckerlynch]

if you like opening tabs and downloading files. by god is ravelry the website for you

[sabertoothwalrus]

having a nickel allergy is actually so insidious because what you MEAN I need to pay attention to the nickel content in my food. what do you MEAN that it doesn’t even present like typical food allergy symptoms (no tingly mouth, no throat closing, no stomach pain etc) and it took until my mid-late 20s to realize that dietary nickel is probably why I’d sometimes get hives randomly on my arms with no apparent cause and have also now deal with chronic eczema. what do you MEAN that all the foods that I eat specifically because they are high in nutritional value consistently also contain nickel.

Here I was thinking my nickel allergy was pretty mild!! so many mysteries in my life were all probably caused by nickel. It was always nickel.

[sabertoothwalrus]

I can’t lie, that does help a little bit

[kaelio]

[ianjq]

*gasps* oh my god. i have to draw you

[jan-pi-suli-ala]

this is an elderly post with both members in it still activated. op posts regularly, newest post is an hour ago, and second account hasn’t posted since 2020

[kaelio]

I am indeed, despite it all, still here.

[rougey]

The second account was one of the directors of Steven Universe

[gravegospel]

[fattyatomicmutant-deactivated20]

Jfc that kitty parade music justmakes it hilarious

[raccoonnation-deactivated202102]

I can’t believe this is an actual event that has taken place.

[kittykat8311]

with the music that might actually be the most surreal thing i’ve ever watched

[clownboybebop]

sometimes when my mom gets drunk she goes into Liberated Women Mode, and one time she was real tipsy and while talking about her friend’s divorce, she very earnestly told me and my sister (both adults) that regardless of preference or relationship, she hoped we would both reach a point in our lives where we were having really good sex with really good people. and my sister said, “i do that now except the good people part” and i said, “sex is real?” and my mom didn’t love either of those answers

[szczekaczz]

Henriëtte Ronner-Knip, A dog and her puppies

[zvaigzdelasas]

[khanuckle-deactivated20250628]

There

[jgdfjjggh-deactivated20250520]

[brawnie]

taking the porn off tumblr just made us all hornier. it used to be that we’d only sexualize basic things, like human bodies. but now?? you wouldn’t believe the things my mutuals are getting off to

[brawnie]

2016 tumblr porn: straight up just a gif of penis in vagina

2025 tumblr porn: video of someone slowly bringing a magnet to a CRT tv screen while static is playing