No. That wasn’t how things were supposed to happen. What had happened in the past was supposed to be forgotten, and never brought up again. Ever. No one was supposed to know about it, just like they didn’t know much of what happened with Logan and Cohen behind closed doors. The cheating had happened months ago, so why were they bringing it up now? What good would it do? Apart from maybe destroying the relationship that Logan had with Cohen. A relationship that had made him truly feel good, for the first time in what seemed to be forever. The two boys completed each other so well, and the brown-haired male doubted that he’d ever find someone else that he fit so well with. Cohen was everything that he ever needed and wanted, and to know that he was so close to losing him again made his heart beat faster in his chest, panic taking hold of each and every little cell in his body.
It had been months since he had cheated on the blond, but Logan’s memories about all of it were crystal clear. Not the ones about the cheating, though. The ones about how his boyfriend had reacted. For the first time, the brunet had felt like he had been completely cut off from the blond and his emotions, and it had taken what seemed like forever until he was let in again. However, the voices on the little television screen led him to believe that maybe he’d be cut off again. And although he knew that it was all his fault, the boy couldn’t help but be scared. He couldn’t lose Cohen, he simply couldn’t. Still, now the entire world knew about what had happened, and Logan doubted that they’d have much pity for him. They’d probably tell Cohen that he’d be better off without him, and the brown-eyed boy wasn’t sure how he’d react if the other ended up believing them. However, at that moment, it seemed like his boyfriend was still okay with being close to him, and Logan therefore decided to take up some of the comfort that was offered to him. After looking into Cohen’s eyes for a moment, his lips almost trembling because of how scared he was of loosing him, the brunet leaned closer to him and wrapped his arms tightly around his chest. “I’m sorry,” he repeated time and time again against the taller boy’s skin, his face buried into the crook of his neck.
Cohen Porter was a contradictory creature, and there was no denying that. On one end of the spectrum he was stoic, poised, yet still charismatic. On the other end was a depth of content, thoughts, and feelings that were waiting to flood out. Though often broody and calculating, the blonde was a bundle of enthusiasm, curiosity, and energy — though it was all locked up deep within him. He often tried to be everywhere at once, so as not to miss a thing. He had learned to pick and choose what needed his attention the most, and sort of floated about the rest of the time observing with a keen eye. He did not mind floating about, though sometimes his restlessness caught up with him. He truly needed something to pour his whole self into, and if it wasn’t his acting, it was Logan. Cohen had always tried to make the best of things, even if it meant settling, as he tried to figure out where he fit into the grand scheme of things.
He appreciated the logic and simplicity of living life only in black and white, without the vibrant gradient of a full spectrum to choose from but could never truly live it. He would have let himself lose Logan if he did. He acknowledged it, though Cohen favored color, options, and the grey area. He loved blurred lines and compromise. Cohen liked picking apart different things and attempting to merge them together seamlessly. It stemmed from his wild curiosity of how things – and people worked. He was a kaleidoscope with a plain casing - colorful and constantly changing in a myriad of fascinating ways, though it was all internal. When others took the time to look within him, they were graced with his surprisingly colorful, intrinsic, and bold patterns. It was almost startling with his tranquil exterior, though it was an interesting contrast. His exterior was stable and serene, though inside lurked an exotic, untamed garden bursting with blooms and life. It was a secluded place that not many got to truly visit and explore amongst the flora and fauna, though some that ventured in could never fully venture out. It could be filled with roses one day, and venus fly traps the next.
Taking a deep breath, Cohen tried to push all of the thoughts out of his head and focus on the current moment. The past was called that for a reason. Many celebrities had gone through far worse, and a myriad of scandals had been splashed across magazine covers, though the hype usually faded away within a few weeks. They had had a few months to heal, and they would certainly be reopened, they would heal eventually. They would most likely turn into scars, but Cohen hoped that he would be wearing them as battle scars. They would be reminders of what he fought for – Logan. Reminding himself of that, he ensnared his boyfriend into a tight embrace. Logan’s chorus of “I’m sorry”s was met with a single “I love you,” and he hoped that it would be enough.
