Hidden Diary

[4am-reflections]

i’ve been thinking of kissing you all day. of how it will feel, first kisses are so strange aren’t they? you have no idea how you’ll fit together, whether they keep their lips open or closed, if they’ll feel as much as you know you will. i look at you and i want to love you softly. i want to love you in the way all your ex-girlfriends wish they did. let us be right this time. let this be a new beginning, a first kiss, a love gone right.

4am

[poemstextwords]

[hidden-diaryy]

Hidden Diary #116

Love is blind

I write about the way I want to be

Seen

Heard

Felt

Embraced

Dreamed of

Because I know

just how genuine I am

Because I know

how deep the roots of my beauty burrow

Its only in the hours I lay waste

To dream about the way I want to be

Loved

Only then

When my eyes are blind

I see requited love

- M.S

@hidden-diaryy

[hidden-diaryy]

Hidden Diary #115

He wore the moonlight

As if

The universe,

Which so rarely works in perfects,

Had let this one

Slip right through

Falling into place

Right in front of me

- @hidden-diaryy

[hidden-diaryy]

Hidden Diary #114

Like the wind

Stitching itself

Between the crevasses, cracks, and holes

Of a bellowing tree

Beneath a lit crescent

I wouldn't want you any other way

Than to entangle your existence

In the crevasses, cracks, and holes of my heart

- @hidden-diaryy

[hidden-diaryy]

Hidden Diary #113

No matter what I do or how far I've come, parts of my heart still mourn you. Falling apart in the darkest corners and cracks of my heart.

- @hidden-diaryy

[hidden-diaryy]

Hidden Diary #112

You're over me and off finding new people. But here I am, 8 months later and still thinking about the first time you held me. Still thinking about the first I love you. Still thinking about everything there is good about you. Fuck you. Fuck this.

- @hidden-diaryy

[hidden-diaryy]

People are nice to you when they're happy. This says a lot when someone isn't treating you nicely. Treat them with kindness and be on your way

- @hidden-diaryy

[euphoriasme]

I may act like everything’s normal, but you no longer hold a special part in my heart

[hidden-diaryy]

Hidden Diary #111

Its your crying that breaks your own heart

Its cuddling into your bed and screaming so loud into a pillow that its not there

Its gripping the steering wheel and screaming so loud in the car that it sounds like the windows are open

Its bareknuckling

Headthrobbing

Pulsating eyes

And the breaking of your heart

That makes you feel like you're at

the bottom

- @hidden-diaryy

[hidden-diaryy]

Hidden Diary #110

The hand that doesn't love back

I spent countless nights rewriting

Practiced my voice in front of a camera which totaled to 30 videos

Planned for days

I read him my poem

I said I loved him

I've come to find that

Theres nothing colder than a hand that doesn't love you back

I've never been so humiliated

- @hidden-diaryy

[hidden-diaryy]

Hidden Diary #108

I dont know

What its like to love me

But

My rib cage planted roses just incase I find hope

But with the lack of sunlight I've stunted their growth

Lately I've been saying you're the one

And

I swear I'm worth holding

Don't let go

Im just too tired, I have pain in my bones

But you make sure I feel anointed

Sometime in mid December

I have soars in my throat and its sprouting on my tongue from all the truths that have been told

I was once too weak to admit I was anything but worthy

I'm use to speaking so deep that my love becomes frightening

I know I'm capable of scaring you away

I don't want to burden you with all my emotional abuse

I have an ocean amongst my thighs

Sometimes I forget how easy it is to sink

So

Keep on swimming

Keep on feeling

Keep on coming back into me with all that powerful divinity

My right wrist has become broken

I dont usually write about people

Who

Voluntarily love me

Who

Unconditionally trust me to love them with a love so powerful I awake their soul behind their bones

But here I am staining every paper

With the essence of your name

I can promise you're right about me

I have bruises on my chest from the broken down heart thats still up and running

Its always beaten hard, but lately harder

And harder

I've never tried to silence the drum my heart beats to

Louder

And louder

Filling my ears with the sense of awareness you've brought

All my insecurities would have made you close and lock the door to me

But

You opened up parts of me I didn't foresee

You insisted on embracing me

You've brought sunlight into me

I hope you plan to make a home in the field of flowers you've grown in me

Because

I love you.

- @hidden-diaryy

[hidden-diaryy]

Hidden Diary #107

Getting close to someone is so scary

One minute I find myself admiring their face and the next I search deeper

I fall deeper

I get scared but find myself marveling

Every little thing they never knew about themselves catches my eye like a piece of art that speaks to my soul

Every movement turns into the smoothest rhythm

Their voice, their laugh, their tones become the prettiest symphony that has ever graced my ears

Their existence tugs at my heart strings

They welcome themselves into my dreams and eventhough I'm a free spirit, I find it hard to escape the fantasy

Getting close to someone is so scary

Its the swarming butterflies that cloud my judgment

Its the past heart breaks and traumas that pound self doubt and hold me back behind closed doors to hide my vulnerability

The hundreds of questions that either stay in reason or become paranoia because I'm scared

Of feeling the brute squeeze till every last drop is out of me and I'm out dry, recuperating

Getting close to someone is so scary

I never mean to love too hard

I never mean to strum my hearts harp for a heart I think that'll fill me the most in the most grandest of schemes

But, I lose myself in my own music and play too much for little or no applause

Feeling our hands make up for the empty spaces between our fingers, is scary

@hidden-diaryy

[scriptedsilence-deactivated2025]

* no words *

words aren’t needed

grab me

now...harder

bring confidence

don’t wait for permission

engulf me into your passion

press me against the wall and

interlace your fingers into my hair

~pull~

fiercely

bite my neck

kiss me, as though you will die

if my breath isn’t filling your lungs

wrap me around you

take me to my limit and

this.

this feeling

words could never suffice

this is poetry

© ScriptedSilence. All rights reserves

[chuckakot]

“This morning is extraordinarily, filled with radial colors, with amorphous feelings, without even realizing, how I am totally drawn to you, and in fact, I do not know, what is more worth having, other than loving you.”

— Chuck Akot, from Poems for Teo, colori.r a d i a l i

[feelingstoostrong]

concept: we are snuggled up together watching a Christmas movie. all is good and peaceful.

[feelingstoostrong]

concept: it’s nearly 1 am and we are driving in your beat up hand me down car as we blast music. we are happy.