please watch this two second clip from santa clarita diet
mah shErbet.,, mah sp ᵒᵒⁿ
the transcription is 100% accurate and yet still doesn’t do it justice somehow

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Not today Justin
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@hiei-harringtonmunson
please watch this two second clip from santa clarita diet
mah shErbet.,, mah sp ᵒᵒⁿ
the transcription is 100% accurate and yet still doesn’t do it justice somehow
not to "trying to be chill but can't help noticing how misogyny bleeds through the cracks etc etc" but once you realize that almost none of the cute disney comic relief sidekicks are women you can't unsee it. like that thing only exists to do some slapstick and look cute for plushies. why can't it be a woman. why are ALL of them he/him. it's driving me fucking insane
YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS
one day this comic will reach a million notes and then i’m going to quit my job and become a couch
Huh? What’s this? I don’t remember ordering something that big.
Oh, it’s a sofa? I already have one, though…
Hang on, my job sent me this? Is this some sort of bonus or something?
Huh??? It’s empty?? Then why was it so heavy…
Oh hang on what’s this?
I’m not sure I can reach it…
Oh crap!!!!
Everyone who isn’t reblogging this version is a coward and a villain
world heritage post
gay steve
It's Shane who insists that they create sweaters with the Irina Foundation logo on them. They're a dark blue colour and incredibly soft. He tells Yuna that it's for the coaches, so they can be recognized as such during the summer camps. It's not a bad idea. But when Yuna suggests stitching the names and numbers of the hockey coaches onto them as well, Shane refuses.
Ilya, admittedly, does not fully understand why Shane is so adamant about the sweatshirts. They'll be in Hockey gear most of the times anyway. It's only late one evening, after Ilya keeps asking, that Shane tells the truth. About how he liked that, at the cottage, they would sometimes wear each others clothes. And how he wished that they could do that outside of the summer as well. But that both of them get photographed by paparazzi so often that someone would notice if Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov were suddenly spotted wearing the same clothes (they once wore a beanie by the same brand back in 2015 and it sent the internet into a flurry for two weeks).
But. If they - and the other coaches - all wear sweaters that look the same. It wouldn't be as obvious. And one or both of them being spotted in the sweater will only mean that they are proud of the foundation.
"And if we happen to switch them. And i end up wearing yours, well", Shane shrugs with a small smile. "Nobody besides us will know."
Ilya stares at Shane for a beat. Then he laughs, absolutely delighted (those totally aren't tears in his eyes) as he tackles Shane before pulling him into a kiss. Because his beautiful and wonderful boyfriend once again came up with a multi step plan just so they could be a bit closer to each other.
crybaby learns how to swim - subtitled
i don’t think i’m exaggerating when i say that the average height for women in the US would increase by at least an inch if teen girls were allowed to eat as much as teen boys are
and not to bring my own clocky bitch ass into this but if cis women weren’t so consistently starved their entire lives you’d see a lot more cis women with the kind of bodies that we currently associate closely with trans women. the amount that the standards of feminine presentation are culturally defined by malnutrition is crazy
Steve kisses Eddie’s knuckles while Eddie’s DMing. For no reason at all and Eddie drops his dice. “Warn a guy, Harrington.” But he’s red and pleased for hours.
when i erase a word with a pencil where does it go
are you okay
They turn into those eraser shavings and then you swipe them off your desk and they land on the floor and someone steps on them and they stick on their shoe and eventually the person goes home so right now your word is at someones house
maybe its watching them take off their clothes yeah get it word
this fucking site i swear to god
A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books
chaos Steve’s character sheet
“So…I can’t be a ninja?”
Eddie shakes his head. They’re sitting at his picnic table. He hasn’t had any customers today, though that may be because he’s been letting Steve “The Hair” Harrington take up all his attention. It has been much more entertaining than he’d thought it would be.
“It’s not a class.”
“you have to take a class to be a ninja?” Steve asks, confused. “Or, a knight or whatever?”
“Not that kind of class. But yeah, you can be a fighter but not a ninja.”
Steve pouts. It is unfairly attractive. “This game is stupid. who wouldn’t wanna be a ninja?”
“I mean, some people will homebrew a class for you but that’s a lot of work, and if the kids you’re babysitting are young, I wouldn’t make them do that. Not for a couple years, until they’re comfortable with jacking up the ruleset.”
“Ho—homebrew?” Steve slides his hands down his face. He looks like Eddie’s handed him the nuclear codes and told him to translate them into Russian. He stares at the character sheet Eddie offered to draw up for him. “Like, cooking? Or making alcohol? Wait, are you giving kids—”
“No!” Eddie says quickly because Steve looks actually upset and he wonders about that. Steve knew where to find Eddie and what he’d be doing out here but he draws the line at booze? Like he isn’t the king of underage drinking? What is King Steve even doing running a babysitting service? “It means like, make up the rules and stuff yourself, rather than get it from the rulebook.”
“Oh my god, I’m never gonna get this.” Steve puts his head in his hands. He sounds so broken up about it, so sad and disappointed in himself, that Eddie pats his shoulder without thinking about it. Steve only sighs beneath his touch so Eddie leaves his hand there, ignoring the feeling of muscles under fabric.
“Why does it even matter that much to you, anyway? Never thought I’d see the day Hawkins Royalty decided to indulge in a little satanic gameplay.”
Steve moves so fast Eddie can’t even flinch before he’s got Eddie’s hand wrapped in both of his. Eddie turns red. “It’s not satanic,” Steve tells him, emphatic. “It’s harmless, I know that much, at least. Anybody who gives you shit for it is dangerously stupid, Munson. You let me know if anybody does, okay? And I’ll be damned if I let them give those kids shit for it either.”
“Holy shit,” Eddie whispers, awed. Steve loosens his grip, confused, but Eddie covers their joined hands and grins. “You just swore an oath of protection.”
Steve shifts, looking uncomfortably seen. He ducks his head and mutters, “well, yeah but. I mean when you say it like that you make it sound cooler than it is.”
“It is cool,” Eddie insists. “You’re not a fighter, Steve, you’re a paladin!” He pulls away only to shift to Steve’s bench and grab his pencil, filling in his class. “They’re holy fighters who swear an oath for something they believe in. There’s even a way of specialty called Protection Fighting, where you take hits meant for others or reduce damage to allies. That’s you!”
“But you said they get like, powers from God, right? I’m not religious.”
“You don’t have to be. Besides it’s from non-Christian or fictional gods, like Pan or Tyr. We could pick one for you that would fit. What do you like, nature, justice, the sun? It could be anything.”
Eddie’s excitement seems catching, because Steve picks his head up and smiles a little. He taps his fingers on the edge of the paper and asks, voice a little small, “Could I—make one up?”
It’s not technically allowed by the stringent constraints of dnd. But Eddie finds himself curious as to where this is going. He nods. Steve lets out a breath like he’s nervous and speaks in a rush.
“She’s a god of, um. Freedom. Yeah. And she—she protects kids the best because they should have the most freedom to grow up and be whoever they want. But she protects everyone else too! She got crazy powers but they kinda hurt? Sometimes? So she doesn’t use them often and her followers and friends know to help her out when she’s tired. And she never wanted to be powerful in the first place? She just had to be. So her goal is to find the freedom to be a normal kid again.” Steve plucks at the hem of his shirt, losing a little of his steam, before finding Eddie’s gaze. “I guess that could be, like, my…quest? Right? Giving her a normal life. Finding that, um. Freedom. For her.”
Eddie looks into the honey brown of Steve Harrington’s eyes and feels his heart pound in his chest. He nods, ideas already flitting in his mind. This boy is going to have an entire campaign written about him by the time Eddie’s through with this. How did he just come soaring out of the blue and throw all of Eddie’s preconceived notions about him into absolute chaos in less than a week?
“Hell yes, Harrington,” he says, instead of announcing all that. “Chaotic Good Oath of Protection Paladin Steve—what’s your goddess’s name?”
“El.”
They're in love your honor
God forbid a girl be both kind and full of rage.
“'Cause I'll wait for nothing Pretending we're something My mind lies for you and I.” 🍀 . thinking about them ✨just messing around✨, pretending it doesn’t mean anything and then they go to sleep smelling each other on stolen pieces on clothing #steddie
ohhh my god. I've never drawn rocky with his life support system and air conditioner he wears when he's in his xenonite ball. guys I'm so stupid
actually I've never seen anyone else draw it either. why are we all collectively trying to kill rocky on accident???
when it’s the top who goes limp and takes it