Beware the sarcastic monster that is I.

Witch, Greek Demigod, Whovian, Superwholock, Tribute, Divergent. Did you like how I said Doctor Who twice???

[canyousonicme]

Follow Michelle Gomez on twitter!

[doctorwho]

Michelle Gomez, our very own Missy, joined Twitter last night! Go give her a follow @MichelleGomez! 

[oldschoolnickelodeon]

[thebestoftumbling]

Dog owner pretends to suddenly collapse while walking his dog and records the dog’s reaction.

[shutupstrax]

And here I present to you my current thoughts.

[just-shower-thoughts]

If a kid refuses to sleep during a nap, is he resisting a rest?

[jowji-deactivated20230930]

if you ever think about sending me an ask and decide not to cause “oh she doesn’t care” or “oh I don’t want to bother her” literally I’m the loneliest piece of shit you can find and would still love you if you sent me the word nuzzle over and over again

[int0themidnightsun]

Today is my last day at home before I leave for basic training so my mom let me pick dinner and this is what I picked.

[comedicfuck]

good.

[just--space]

Northern Lights, Milky Way and an ERUPTING VOLCANO in one photo (Iceland) by Maciej Winiarczyk [962 x 614]

js

[just-shower-thoughts]

Atheist say “Oh my God!” because they find the situation unbelievable.

[inkskinned]

it always really bothered me when wait staff ignored me + my friends just because we were young bc we are all really respectful people but the assumption was that we wouldn’t tip

anyway so fast fowards to when i became a waitress and one day this group of scrubbyass kids came in and i had 8 other tables with other people to look to but i overheard that one kid wanted a milkshake but he couldn’t afford it and the other kids offered to pay but he was like “nonono it’s fine” and i looked over and he just looked real run down and sad and stuff —- later it just so happened that our kitchen had a mixup so we had an extra shake and since it would just be dumped otherwise, i snuck it out to their table and gave it to him for free

and his friends were so fucking impressed by this they pooled every fucking cent they had i got a $50 tip and later his friend’s mom came in and said “i heard what you did for that boy” and gave me another 20 and offered me a better job working with her

and meanwhile at my other table a rich white guy i was serving complained bc he didn’t want to pay the 15% tip on a $8.90 bill and when his wife said “she’s been a good waitress, though,” he said, “but just plain good isn’t worth 15%”

[madeupmonkeyshit]

[420moshdad]

when u catch someone lookin at you for like the 15th time and u just like damn u tryna holla or what

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually less holes in it than there were before.

[ghostiexo]

it’s very frustrating being a girl and trying to flirt with other girls like. you tell them, ur cute. ‘Aw thank you’ no. no i’m being gay with you. homo intended. damn it

[highinquisitorumbridge]

cocaine-cutie:

everyone has that “thing” about them that people talk about when you’re not there.

WHAT IS MINE

[micdotcom]

Canada sent a friendly robot to America. Americans destroyed it.

This is why we can’t have nice things.  On Saturday, vandals in Philadelphia destroyed a hitchhiking robot from Canada named HitchBot, two weeks into its U.S. trip. Designed as a social experiment, HitchBot could talk to humans and upload photos to social media. If you found it, HitchBot would tell you where it wanted to go and ask for a ride. Worry not though, HitchBot may get a happy ending.

[smolsoftkarkat]

IT WAS A SIMPLE NICE THING, AND A COOL THING, WHAT DO YOU EVEN GET OUT OF BEING A FUCKER AND DESTROYING IT?

[luxiusmalfoy]

i long for the day when harry potter is classic literature, so my ridiculously extensive knowledge can be considered intellectual, like it would be if it were shakespeare or dickens, rather than just a little sad