High Wasted Schwartz

University senior and environmental researcher. I like to travel (who doesn't?), hike, read, and play with friendly mammals.

[odonowest]

[nevver]

Reno Nogaj

[spoiledchestnut]

Alien: You shouldn’t eat that.

Human: What?

Alien: That thing. Don’t you know it’s extremely acidic? Enough to cause eventual deterioration of your flesh?

Human: ….it’s a fucking pineapple.

[hornygold]

Alien: But that thing contains bromelain, it’ll destroy your body’s proteins!

Human: Not if I digest the bromelain first.

Alien: Humans are insane!

[crazy-pages]

“Not if I digest it first” is an official human motto, in close competition with “not if I pet it first”.

[nothin-gness-deactivated2024102]

[rusticpines]

Well I’ve been on fire, dreaming of you Tell me you don’t It feels like you do.

[househunting]

$1,950,000/5 br

Seattle, WA

i’m really really really really shocked this isn’t bellevue!

[hydrotoxicity]

[thenatsdorf]

View this post on Instagram

“I’m gonna nap right here next to you.”

[excima]

@tomfordvelvetorchid

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

GASP

[spuffycarrie]

Cuteness overload ❤️

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

TOO MUCH CUUUUTTTEEE!

[fire-is-her-water]

My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.

When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.

[merak-zoran]

[quotemadness]

I’m not sure what I’ll do, but— well, I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to live where things happen on a big scale.

F. Scott Fitzgerald (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

[brianstowell]

Old growth in Olympic National Park, Washington

Available as a print on my Redbubble and Society6

[lsleofskye]

Faroe Islands

[idotravel]

[testimonyoflust]

[rishaddaroo]

[nevver]

[sabonhomeblog]