And The Story Goes... Chapter 46
So guys… sorry this chapter is a little all over the place… not having a laptop has played havoc with my ATSG posting! I have rehashed what I could from this chapter, and the next one will be better!
I sat at the far end of the bus, tucked into one of the bottom bunks as I watched the team of people bustling around the tiny living area setting up cameras and microphones ready for the interview. I glanced out of the window at the venue for tonight’s show, just across the car park from the bus. I still wasn’t entirely sure why this interview was happening here when there had to be a handful of dressing rooms in there with more space to move around in, but Nadia, the producer strutting around in front of the boys, seemed sold on the idea of ‘up close and personal’. I watched her parading around for Shannon’s benefit with a smirk – it was clear to see why. Shannon looked up and caught my eye, throwing a little wink in my direction as he did before turning back to Nadia with his smile on full beam. She turned a deep shade of red and I rolled my eyes; he knew what he was doing to the poor girl. He was such a flirt.
I listened as the presenter asked Shayla for the hundredth time when we could expect Jared to arrive, looking at his watch nervously. It was almost time for sound check and they needed to get this interview done before they could head in – the film crew were starting to fidget anxiously. They weren’t the only ones waiting for his arrival, I thought, glancing down at the phone in my hand. He’d been gone for less than two days and I already couldn’t wait for him to be back. I tried to ignore the fact that I was becoming far too comfortable with having him around me so much, knowing full well there were gaps in the schedule coming up where I wouldn’t see him for weeks at a time. I would worry about that later.
I looked back down at the laptop on my knees, determined to concentrate on my work and stop staring out of the window like a love sick teenager, only to hear the unmistakable whoosh of the electrics as the door opened at the other end of the bus. I was embarrassed at how quickly my head shot up, the smile automatically pulling on my lips as he stepped into the bus, closely followed by Emma. He looked amazing, a long sleeved white top clinging to his arms as he balanced his flight bag, his laptop and what looked like a brown shopping bag, smiling broadly at everyone as they turned to look at him.
“Well now, a welcome party!” he grinned, looking around the little team of people with a grin as Shannon stood up to greet him with a hug and a slap on the shoulder. “Y’all waiting for me?”
“Gotta say man, didn’t think you were gonna make it!” Tomo laughed, looking pointedly at his watch.
“Sorry guys, we got held up at the airport,” Emma smiled apologetically, dumping her flight bag down on one of the sofas. “Are we all ready to go?”
I watched as Nadia placed herself in front of Jared, a fresh smile plastered on her face as she introduced herself enthusiastically and began talking about the plans for the interview. His eyes flicked to where I was sitting, lingering on me for just a second before focusing back on the woman in front of him, nodding along with a smile. “…absolutely, that sounds great. And it’s good to see you again, Toby.” He said, leaning forwards to shake hands with the man who would apparently be running the interview.
“You too man, it’s been what… two years?”
I looked away from the little hive of activity, clenching my teeth together from the effort of not running down the bus and throwing myself at him. I scrolled through the emails on my screen blindly, trying to concentrate only to realise all of my senses were still somehow fixed on him as he excused himself from the conversation and walked down the bus in my direction, forcing me to look up as he drew level with me.
“Hi,” I smiled, moving my legs so he could squeeze past me into the little sleeping area.
“Hi,” he said, crouching down beside my knees so he could tuck his flight bag onto the mattress beside me. “Are you hiding back here?”
“Just staying out of the way. That’s a lot of people in one tiny space!” I said, giggling softly. “How was New York?”
“It was good – we got a really sweet little slot coming up for MTV, got all the details down yesterday.”
“Sounds great,” I smiled, watching him as he stared up at me from his crouched position on the floor. He smelled of soap and shampoo, that delicious clean smell that he always had no matter how many hours he had spent on a plane.
He paused beside me, looking across my lap at everyone at the other end of the bus, making sure there was no attention on us before lifting one hand and running it along the side of my thigh slowly. I smiled, recognising that look in his eye, a little bubble of excitement rising in my belly when he touched me in front of other people. It didn’t matter that no one could see; it was the most intimate he had been towards me with other people in the room for as long as I could remember.
“I bought you a present.” He said quietly, the corner of his mouth quirking up as his fingers reached the ticklish spot on the back of my knee, making me jump.
I grinned, trying to control my breathing as his hand continued down my calf to the bottom of my jeans, his fingers lifting the fabric and smoothing across the skin of my ankle. “You did?”
“You want it now?” he asked, licking his lips slowly before dragging his eyes back up to mine. The suggestive tone wasn’t lost on me, and I bit back the groan rising in my throat.
“If this is you just teasing me, you should know I am not very far away from calling your bluff and jumping your skinny white ass right here in front of all these people…” I whispered.
He guffawed loudly, the laugh turning into a cough as he realised people were looking and tried to cover himself, reaching in to the flight bag beside me. “Although I am unbelievably tempted to let you do that…” he said, pulling out a small brown paper bag. “I really did get you something.”
He handed me the bag with a shrug, placing the heavy object in to the palm of my hand almost bashfully. I stared at him for a moment, seeing the serious look on his face and realising he really was giving me a gift, before looking down at the bag with a smile.
“It’s just something little…” he said as my fingers opened the bag, dipping in to retrieve the little snow globe. Inside the little sphere were three trees, autumn leaves covering the branches in a vivid orange, the ‘snow’ made up of little floating leaves as I tipped the globe over and righted it again.
“Jared… it’s beautiful…” I breathed, watching the leaves flutter towards the floor only for me to tip it over again, watching the colours swirling around the glass in slow motion.
“You see this little bridge here?” he said, pointing at the little replica of the stone bridge tucked under the trees. “That’s a real bridge in Central Park. It’s really pretty there, especially in the fall. I’ll take you there.”
I looked up at him, my mouth open a little as I tried to find the right words. I wanted to kiss him, but I knew from the decreasing volume of conversation at the other end of the bus that we were being watched, and I bit my lip with a smile instead. “I would love that.”
He grinned, standing back up with a satisfied clap of his hands. “Right. Where do you want me?” he asked loudly, walking back towards the others and sitting himself beside Shannon on the sofa.
I watched as Nadia handed them all a microphone each, briefly running through an outline of the questions before tucking herself behind the camera to get out of shot. I smiled at Emma as she stepped closer towards me with a little wave of greeting, leaning against the door to the living area, her back to me as she faced the boys.
“Everything okay while we were gone?” she asked, nodding towards them. “How did you find the bus?”
I glanced at Shannon who was busy pulling the stripy beanie hat lower on his head, listening to Jared who was talking to him and Tomo. I wondered whether I should tell her what had happened, that I was worried about how much Shannon was drinking lately. But then he laughed at something Jared had said, the smile lighting up his whole face as the brothers joked around while they sat side by side, and I knew I couldn’t say anything. He had asked me to keep it between us, and for whatever reason, I knew I couldn’t break his trust.
“The bunks aren’t the most comfortable, are they!” I laughed.
“God, I know - I feel like I’ve spent half my life on one of these damn buses. At least we’ll be home tomorrow, back to the real world and my own bed.” she sighed.
I looked at her, wondering if this was the first time I had ever really seen Emma looking tired. "There’s some time off after today though, right? Just sleep for a week!“ I said, smiling sympathetically.
"I wish I could - I’ve got stuff to sort out for the MTV session, and the Brit awards, and I still have the last bits to do for Shan’s party…” she groaned, pulling her phone out of her pocket as her email notification pinged out loudly.
“Shannon’s party?” I frowned. "What party?“
"For his birthday? He’s got the baseball day and then the party in the evening, and… you look so confused!” she laughed, keeping her voice down as the interview started at the other end of the bus.
“His birthday? For God’s sake what is wrong with these Leto’s not telling me when their god damn birthdays are!” I groaned. "When is it? Have I got time to get him a present?!“
"It’s the day after tomorrow so… yeah, if you get it tomorrow!” she laughed.
“Well that’s just brilliant,” I muttered, rolling my eyes heavily.
I turned to watch the interview, all three of the boys smiling and laughing as they mocked Tomo for his facial hair, chatting happily to Toby about the new album and the producer they had worked with, and how happy they were with the sound they had created. It was the first time in weeks that I had seen Jared look so… happy. So relaxed. He joked and smiled with the presenter, fielding the questions with ease, seeming to really enjoy himself as they talked about their backgrounds and how they had even gotten in to music.
(Watch the interview here)
“The musical bug that you got, at the beginning, do you credit Shannon for turning you on to music early on, or were you guys just a musical family?” Toby asked.
“Oh yeah definitely, I mean he’s the older brother. We had a very musical family, music was always something that was just around… it was a lot like, artwork - we grew up around a lot of painters, and sculptors, and artists, and hippies and freaks and all kinds of wild people… but you know, everyone seemed to play a little bit of guitar, and there was this old beat up piano… Shannon played the drums since he was a young kid, like five years old… so yeah, I would definitely give him the credit.”
I watched him glance at his brother, a smile on his face as the two of them exchanged a little look while the presenter began asking Shannon about his first musical influences, and I felt my heart swell a little in my chest. It wasn’t often that you got to see the affection that they had for each other, but when it was there, it was beautiful. Jared may have been the bossy one, and Shannon the long suffering older sibling who let his brother take charge, but every now and then I would hear them talk about each other with so much love and respect that it floored me a little. It wasn’t forced, or embellished for the cameras - they genuinely regarded each other as the most important person in their lives.
He glanced over at me across the bus while Shannon talked, catching my eye and watching me smile at him, his face carefully arranged so as not to be seen reacting to me on camera - but I saw that sparkle in his eyes. The careful lick of his lower lip. Nadia turned to see who he was looking at, and I averted my gaze back to my laptop, pretending to be reading while I listened to the guys carry on talking. I had enough inquisitive looks from fans without getting them from the press too.
“…I mean, we certainly have been lucky enough to see this happen, and I don’t think Shan and I really - as big as we encouraged each other to dream - we never expected that all of this was gonna happen…”
“Nooo, never… .never…” Shannon jumped in, shaking his head with a wry smile. “I mean I still say I still feel like the band in the garage. Still.”
Emma sat on the bunk opposite me, her phone still in her hand as she tapped away furiously at the keys, and I let my eyes wander back over to the boys. "Hey Em - what do you buy the millionaire musician who has everything he wants as a birthday present?“ I whispered quietly.
She glanced up at the lads, pursing her lips slightly before stifling a smile. "He could use a fashion sense, if you can buy him one of those.” she grinned, looking back to her phone. "What is he even wearing today - does he know it’s like 70 degrees out?“
I looked back over to where they were sat, smiling at Shannon’s choice of baggy trousers, huge parker jacket and beanie hat, wrapped up as though it were winter. An idea forming, I looked back down at my laptop and opened up a new Google search, finding what I was looking for not too far away from Jared’s house in LA, and smiled to myself as I started searching for the item I was thinking of. I needed to get shopping tomorrow.
***
"This seat taken?”
I looked up from my iPod, smiling up at Jared as he stood in the aisle next to the empty seat beside me, waiting for my answer. "You know it’s not.“ I said, watching as he sat himself down with a wriggle until he was comfortable.
The first class cabin was fairly quiet, the only people in here either part of the Mars crew flying back after tonight’s show, or tired looking business men making their way home for the weekend. Jared had been sat near the back, with Shannon and Tomo, while me, Emma and Shayla had been allocated seats nearer the front, people spread out in the rows between us. With the lights dimmed low for the night flight back to LAX and the only sound the gentle breathing of sleeping passengers, I had tucked myself into a window seat and plugged in to my music, happy to have a quiet few hours by myself.
Jared never sat with me on these flights. There were too many people, too many eyes watching him, and after the couple of months we had just had I didn’t even question it anymore. I had learned to ignore the butterflies in my stomach, knowing that he was sat so close to me and that I couldn’t even talk to him. I had learned to wait until we were in private. But yet, here he was - sat in the empty seat beside me, his head tilted back as he watched me with a little smile.
"Everyone’s asleep.” he whispered, his eyes running over my face.
“I’m not surprised. I don’t think anyone has had much sleep lately,” I said back, keeping my voice down as I glanced around to see if anyone was looking at us that shouldn’t be. "Should you be so far away from your seat?“
"Couldn’t get comfortable.” he shrugged, leaning forward to pull the carefully packaged blanket from the pocket of the seat in front of him.
“You know this seat is the same as yours though…” I smiled, watching him unwrap the blanket and open it out.
“Well, I wouldn’t say that. This seat has you next to it.” he said, lifting the blanket until it settled over both my legs and his.
I watched as he moved the arm of the seat in between us, pushing it back up into its upright position and out of the way, before grabbing the thin flight cushion from behind his back. "Come here.“
I frowned as he lifted his arm towards me, holding it out so that I could move closer to him. "What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” he sighed quietly, tilting his head. "I’m tired and this plane is cold. Come here.“
I blinked at him in uncertainty, waiting to see if this was some sort of test. Everyone may have been asleep, but some of these people were strangers, strangers who may have had cameras or phones and would be only too happy to snap a photo of Jared Leto cuddled up to some girl on a plane - and here he was, inviting the exact sort of physical contact that he had spent months avoiding? "Someone might see…” I said, my eyes darting towards the air stewardess walking along the opposite side of the cabin.
“I don’t give a fuck. I’m tired, Titch - don’t make me ask you again.”
I hesitated, but as soon as I felt his arm move round the back of my neck I relented, leaning against him as he pulled the blanket further over me before tucking his hand around my waist, holding me there. I held still for a moment, waiting for someone to appear beside us or for a flash of a camera, almost holding my breath. But the cabin was still, and as his fingers began to trace little circles on the the exposed skin between my t-shirt and jeans I felt myself relax against him, the side of my face buried into his shoulder as I pulled the blanket a little tighter around me.
I hadn’t realised how tired I was, and after a few minutes I realised his breathing had slowed into a steady, sleepy rhythm. I smiled against the fabric of his jumper, nuzzling my nose against him a little tighter as I let myself enjoy being pressed against him like this, the warmth of him radiating through me as I let my eyes drift closed. I had no idea what had brought about this mood change in him, but as I felt sleep over take me I realised that this was the first time since we had met that I felt like I belonged.
