Hey, it's been a while. Now that I am back, I have some rules to go over since I've given it some thought over the years.
• I'm an adult. I'm not babysittin' damn teens. If you're a minor, the door is that way. Adios. I'm going to be mean about it.
• I will not be a little piece of your damn ships. I'm not a fan of Sam in any romantic or platonic way. I want to kick him out like a football on a field. Don't push that shipping shit on me. I am not a fan. Remember, I'm an actual person behind this account.
If there's any push of it on me, I'm not letting that bullshit go down.
• I am extremely busy offline. Got things to do, jobs to do, all that stuff. A family to take care of. So if I disappear, that is why. I'll come back here in my free time.
• This is a system/kin blog, not a roleplay account. A stupid corner where I can just be free for a minute or two. I go by Higgs or Amadeus.
• Lastly. Don't steal the stuff I make. Icons and gifs take time out of my day. It's not a free for all. If you take my stuff, I'll be severely pissed.
So my TV exploded ( it literally did. it made a loud pop sound and suddenly smelled like it was burning). SO, I need some extra help getting a new one.
Here's a link to my commission info. Sorry it's twitter but it's easier to redirect it there.
The first few seconds of Higgs' theme in Death Stranding 2 is legit the first seconds of the Shadow Temple theme in Ocarina of Time. I'm not making this shit up it's real.
I've given it time to sink in and put it in a mess of words of how I feel about that endin'. So, spoilers for DS2 under the cut. Also this is in the perspective of someone who heavily sees themselves in Higgs' shoes since the very first game.
Of course I'm really damn biased and upset.
So, here we go. It's a long post so buckle up for this shit.
As I stated before YEARS ago, I've been in a very similar situation as Higgs. Abusive parent(s), alone with no one to really help. All that shitty stuff. Just to give a reminder of why I so heavily connect with Higgs.
So, the fact I was right about him ending it all while on the beach when he was left there fuckin' hurts. He was wanderin' there for so long. alone. He was always alone. During the abuse and in the very end, he was alone.
It's no damn wonder he hates humanity - because humanity never gave him a good reason to stay. It was always the negatives. He grew up in a place of violence and fear. So it reflects to his ambitions, why he sat at the beach thinking of all this "revenge." Why he wants humanity to just go extinct. Because humanity never gave him any positives back to change his damn mind. to help him realize there is light in the world. he lived in a dark world all his whole life.
Loneliness is a fuckin' killer. I've been there years ago. But the difference is I got the people I needed. I got the help after I was on the brink of just, as he says, embracing oblivion.
If I didn't, I wouldn't be here right now typing this, you know?
So, it felt so... real. It hurts so badly how he even goes to say, "Without you, Fragile... Amelie."
Just, for a moment, think of this. Someone walks into your life and makes you finally feel powerful after feeling so damn small and weak for YEARS. But here's the thing, they were using you. Making you the one everyone had their eyes on. To hate on, while they were really just pulling the strings.
Amelie used him, yet here he is, still so lost after everything. he wanted to be dedicated to her even after he was left on the beach. It's... painful. It's all just so painful and real.
It's just like a toxic relationship if you really want to go there. Since I've been in that situation before, too. plenty of times.
I know I'm just repeatin' myself now. But that end was not fitting. It was like a giant "haha fuck you" even though he was hurting. He needed connections. If he only had the right ones, the help he needed, he could have been back on his feet. Instead of leaving him at the beach, all of this shit wouldn't have occurred.
They could have prevented this. Prevented Lou's "death" and Fragile's. All of it. If they didn't fuckin' leave him there to sink in his own loneliness, dread and anger.
But no. after being clearly used, he was dropped. left to suffer on the beach and wander while everyone else was living their best lives.
The way he "died" was so fucking stupid. a slap in the face. it was like dusting him under a rug to simply move on. It was unbelievable. They made it... comical. to the point I actually got a headache from how angry it got me.
So, in conclusion. I'm just going to pretend that endin' never happened. I'm going to be delusional about it. Fragile's alive. Sam is with Lou still as a small baby. And Higgs is still alive and kicking.... not in that damn beach. He's rockin' out somewhere because FUCK that ending, amiright?
I've given it time to sink in and put it in a mess of words of how I feel about that endin'. So, spoilers for DS2 under the cut. Also this is in the perspective of someone who heavily sees themselves in Higgs' shoes since the very first game.
Of course I'm really damn biased and upset.
So, here we go. It's a long post so buckle up for this shit.
As I stated before YEARS ago, I've been in a very similar situation as Higgs. Abusive parent(s), alone with no one to really help. All that shitty stuff. Just to give a reminder of why I so heavily connect with Higgs.
So, the fact I was right about him ending it all while on the beach when he was left there fuckin' hurts. He was wanderin' there for so long. alone. He was always alone. During the abuse and in the very end, he was alone.
It's no damn wonder he hates humanity - because humanity never gave him a good reason to stay. It was always the negatives. He grew up in a place of violence and fear. So it reflects to his ambitions, why he sat at the beach thinking of all this "revenge." Why he wants humanity to just go extinct. Because humanity never gave him any positives back to change his damn mind. to help him realize there is light in the world. he lived in a dark world all his whole life.
Loneliness is a fuckin' killer. I've been there years ago. But the difference is I got the people I needed. I got the help after I was on the brink of just, as he says, embracing oblivion.
If I didn't, I wouldn't be here right now typing this, you know?
So, it felt so... real. It hurts so badly how he even goes to say, "Without you, Fragile... Amelie."
Just, for a moment, think of this. Someone walks into your life and makes you finally feel powerful after feeling so damn small and weak for YEARS. But here's the thing, they were using you. Making you the one everyone had their eyes on. To hate on, while they were really just pulling the strings.
Amelie used him, yet here he is, still so lost after everything. he wanted to be dedicated to her even after he was left on the beach. It's... painful. It's all just so painful and real.
It's just like a toxic relationship if you really want to go there. Since I've been in that situation before, too. plenty of times.
I know I'm just repeatin' myself now. But that end was not fitting. It was like a giant "haha fuck you" even though he was hurting. He needed connections. If he only had the right ones, the help he needed, he could have been back on his feet. Instead of leaving him at the beach, all of this shit wouldn't have occurred.
They could have prevented this. Prevented Lou's "death" and Fragile's. All of it. If they didn't fuckin' leave him there to sink in his own loneliness, dread and anger.
But no. after being clearly used, he was dropped. left to suffer on the beach and wander while everyone else was living their best lives.
The way he "died" was so fucking stupid. a slap in the face. it was like dusting him under a rug to simply move on. It was unbelievable. They made it... comical. to the point I actually got a headache from how angry it got me.
So, in conclusion. I'm just going to pretend that endin' never happened. I'm going to be delusional about it. Fragile's alive. Sam is with Lou still as a small baby. And Higgs is still alive and kicking.... not in that damn beach. He's rockin' out somewhere because FUCK that ending, amiright?
What the fuck was that ending. I have an actual headache.
I'm gonna vent at a later date while I get all my thoughts in order because there's a LOT to unpack here. Gave me the same feeling in the first one. That whole "Higgs is just there to be hated" shit again. People really forgot the whole background stuff, huh. and I KNOW for a fact MANY people are startin' with DS2 as their first, so they got NO idea of the whole... uncle shit that happened. why humanity is shit and all that.
Why the loneliness hurts so. so fuckin' badly.
Anyway. I need a moment. I'd go for a walk but there's a heatwave. So I got nothing else to do but sit this one out and get pissed about it.
