Read This (If You Want) @hilarity-insues - Tumblr Blog

Dear Lady Bird,

When I got pregnant with you, it was a miracle. I was older, I was almost forty-two and we had Miguel and it seemed like it would never happen - and then you arrived. I loved you without knowing you, I loved you when you were just barely an idea - when you arrived at 7pm (after twelve hours of labor) I recognized you - I knew that you were my girl. Watching you grow up has been one of the most wonderful adventures of my life. You were always you, stubborn and funny and loving and competitive and brilliant. I wish we would be friends and I don’t know when it started to go off the tracks…

Dear Christine,

I know you go by Lady Bird now, and I think it’s very sweet, but I think of when I named you Christine, when you were born and what a miracle you were - and are-

Dear Lady Bird,

I am sorry that we fight and I’m sorry that we are so hard on each other - I’ve been too hard on you. I love you and I don’t mean to be so at odds with you. I’m amazed by you. You are so smart and beautiful and funny and I don’t think you know that I think that. I think that you are extraordinary. Every time I look at you, I can’t believe you’re my daughter. I wish we had the relationship that you have with your dad. You always were a daddy’s girl. I’d spend all day with you but when Dad came home you would be so happy. Maybe I was jealous.

craigsucker-deactivated20131103

Season 1:

1x01 - I’m Gonna Make Love To You, Woman // 1x02 - If They Could See Me Now // 1x02 - Oh, Kathie Lee // 1x04 - We Are Gay And It’s Okay // 1x04 - Loving You // 1x05 - Tonight Is Right For Love // 1x07 -I’m Gonna Make Love Even When I’m Dead // 1x08 - We’re All Special In Our Own Way // 1x10 - A Lonely Jew On Christmas // 1x10 - Santa Clause Is On His Way // 1x10 - Chef’s Holiday Song // 1x10 - Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo // 1x11 - No Substitute (Full Song) // 1x13 - When A Man Loves A Woman

Season 2:

2x01 - Oh, Canada // 2x02 - Come Sail Away (Full Song) // 2x05 - Conjoined Twin // 2x07 - Runaway, Come Home // 2x08 - Simultaneous (Full Song) // 2x09 - Chocolate Salty Balls (Full Song) // 2x09 - I Can See Clearly Now // 2x11 - I Love Cheesy Poofs // 2x11 - Bingo Was His Name-O // 2x11 - She Works Hard For The Money // 2x14 - German Dance // 2x16 - Happy, Happy, Happy Holidays

Season 3:

3x01 - Getting Gay With Kids Is Here // 3x02 - You’re My Girl // 3x03 - There’s Got To Be A Morning After // 3x03 - Watch Out For That Lovebug // 3x03 - Succubus Song // 3x06 - Sexual Harassment Panda // 3x07 - Wild West // 3x07 - Shelley, Shelley // 3x07 - Turds // 3x08 - Whippy Tippy Too Too // 3x08 - Do You Believe In Love // 3x13 - Rebecca // 3x15 - Mr. Hankey // 3x15 - Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel // 3x15 - O Tannenbaum // 3x15 - Christmas Time In Hell // 3x15 - Ding Dong M’kay // 3x15 - O Holy Night - 3x15 - Merry Fucking Christmas // 3x15 - I Saw Three Ships // 3x15 - Santa & Jesus // 3x15 - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas // 3x16 - Menstrual Cycle

Season 4:

4x03 - Kenny’s Opera // 4x04 - Lords Of The Underworld // 4x09 - Fingerbang // 4x09 - Ike’s Audition // 4x09 - Mrs. Landers Is A Health Nut // 4x09 - Little Bunny Foo-Foo // 4x09 - You’ve Got It // 4x10 - Hoopdy-La // 4x12 - Third Grade // 4x14 - Helen Keller The Musical // 4x14 - Thanksgiving Dinner // 4x15 - Prostitutes // 4x16 - My Wish For Cuba // 4x17 - The Circle Of Poo // 4x17 - Even A Miracle Needs A Hand

Season 5:

5x02 - Hey There, Shitty Shitty Fag Fag // 5x05 - Chicken And Ham // 5x12 - If I Can’t Be Poor // 5x13 - Heat Of The Moment // 5x14 - The Butters Show

Season 6:

6x01 - True Freak Label // 6x02 - His Name Is Butters // 6x03 - Stan Darsh // 6x03 - Sports Training Montage // 6x03 - Take On Me // 6x04 - Fightin’ ‘Round The World // 6x04 - Russel Crowe’s New Song // 6x04 - No More Russel Crowein’ // 6x07 - Sea People // 6x08 - The Catholic Boat // 6x12 - Ladder To Heaven // 6x14 - Lemmiwinks // 6x15 - Biggest Douche In The Universe // 6x17 - Poo Choo Train

Season 7:

7x01 - 1776 // 7x01 - I’m A Little Bit Country // 7x01 - 100 Episodes // 7x05 - Taco Taco // 7x08 - Crab People // 7x09 - Don’t Ever Leave Me Jesus // 7x09 - I Love You Jesus, Baby // 7x09 - Faith +1 // 7x13 - Butt Out // 7x13 - Hidey Lidey Lidey // 7x11 - If You Leave Me Now // 7x15 - Welcome To Canada // 7x15 - Follow The Only Road // 7x15 - French Canada // 7x15 Ding Dong, They Caught Saddam

Season 8:

8x01 - Let’s Fighting Love // 8x02 - My Robot Friend // 8x05 - You Do A Line And I’ll Do A Line //8x05 - I’ve Got Some Apples // 8x05 - I’ve Got Something In My Front Pocket For You // 8x07 - Wishing Tree // 8x07 - Would You Like To Ride The Train With Me // 8x07 - We All Have The Power To Change // 8x08 - Vote Or Die // 8x08 - Let’s Get Out And Vote // 8x12 - Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset // 8x12 - Paris Hilton // 8x14 - Christmas Only Comes Once A Year

Season 9:

9x03 -You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine // 9x06 - Make It Right // 9x11 - We Shouldn’t Kill Each Other ‘Cause We’re All The Same // 9x12 - Come Out The Closet

Season 10:

10x2 - Hybrid People Now // 10x9 - What Really Happened On 9/11 // 10x10 - Hall Monitor

Season 11:

11x07 - California // 11x08 - I’ve Got A Golden Ticket // 11x10 - Imagination // 11x14 - Carry On My Wayward Son

Season 12:

12x04 - Canada On Strike // 12x04 - What What In The Butt // 12x05 - Someone, Somewhere // 12x06 - Everyone Is Special In Their Own Way // 12x06 - East Side, West Side // 12x06 - Together At School Again // 12x06 - Someone’s In The Kitchen With Dina // 12x06 - Do What You Wanna Do // 12x11 - Super Fun Time // 12x13 - Burn Down Hot Topic // 12x14 - AIDS Burger In Paradise

Season 13:

13x01 - The Jonas Brothers // 13x01 - Purity Ring // 13x04 - Queef Free // 13x05 - Gay Fish // 13x07 - Somalian Pirates, We // 13x08 - Just A Little Girl // 13x11 - Poker Face (Full Song) // 13x14 - Minorities

Season 14:

14x12 - Cthulhu // 14x14 - Crème Fraiche

Season 15:

15x03 - Tooth Decay // 15x04 - America Is Back // 15x05 - Boom Boom Pow // 15x05 - Vunter Slash // 15x09 - Work, Mexican, Work // 15x10 - Run, Run, The Battle’s On // 15x11 - Heaven Knows // 15x11 - That Blowjob Place // 15x11 - Man Time // 15x11 - Blowjob Queen // 15x11 - Shelley //

Season 16:

16x02 - Cash For Gold Polka // 16x03 - Faith Hilling // 16x04 - Jesus Loves Me This I Know // 16x04 - Our Love Grows // 16x05 - Make Bullying Kill Itself // 16x05 - Jackin’ It In San Diego // 16x07 - Every Black Beat Of My Heart // 16x07 - Every Gay Beat Of My Heart

Bigger, Longer, & Uncut soundtrack:

01 - Mountain Town // 02 - Uncle Fucka // 03 - It’s Easy, Mmm’kay // 04 - Blame Canada // 05 - Kyle’s Mom’s A Bitch // 06 - What Would Brian Boitano Do? // 07 - Up There // 08 - La Resistance // 09 - I Can Change // 11 - I’m Super // 12 - Mountain Town (Reprise)

Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics soundtrack:

01 - It Happened In Sun Valley // 02 - What The Hell Child Is This? // 03 - Swiss Colony Beef Log // 04 - The Most Offensive Song Ever

Chef Aid soundtrack:

01 - South Park Theme // 02 - Bubblegoose // 03 - Feel Like Makin’ Love // 04 - Tonight Is Right For Love

- - - - -

If I’m missing any, tell me!

ksturf-deactivated20190529

bless you

behind-the-blow

OMGGGG

illinicoise

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

spn-fandom-breathing-heavily

not even risking that shit

imjustjason

I hope the Madame will help

rarelytheresorry

You gonna get that job, get that car, house/apartment, and then you gon find you a lil boo who gon listen and y’all gon be happy.

Reblog it into existence

allreadyburno

Good morning

blvcksxne

Just thinking about all of this then I get on this the first thing I see

dossantos23

i got all this. 😪

fangorgia

Official petition for John Mulaney to guest on Brooklyn 99 as a cop modeled after JJ Bittenbinder

ludwigplayingthetrombone

i dropped off my resume at this place at 1:15 and got called for an interview at 1:45 holy dang

aughtpunk

Today I got interviewed, hired, and then given a dollar raise and a better store location because the interviewer “liked my attitude”

REBLOG FOR GOOD JOB GETTING KARMA COME ON GRAB A PIECE

bxbs

I pray everyone gets good news within the next 2 weeks

bxbs

I just did I’m so happy

Got 1 offer

Got 2 more interviews coming up this month 🙏🏿

badgyal-k-deactivated20190901

!!!!! Get that check!!!

soravagemecrazy

!!!!!!! yes please! I want to hear very good news of acceptance and career development back from my dream program ❤️

bxbs

I hope you do 💛

imoverallofit

I know i need it. You probably need it to. Here ya go.

whileasleepinthegarden-deactiva

I did and I’m just gonna reblog for more

ludwigplayingthetrombone

i dropped off my resume at this place at 1:15 and got called for an interview at 1:45 holy dang

aughtpunk

Today I got interviewed, hired, and then given a dollar raise and a better store location because the interviewer “liked my attitude”

REBLOG FOR GOOD JOB GETTING KARMA COME ON GRAB A PIECE

behind-the-blow

Matt and Trey in the early days - Part 2 Cannibal

Trey was pulling himself out of a deep depression. His wedding had fallen through and he said he was finally ready to shoot a trailer for Alfred Packer: The Musical. Trey made it sound like this project was an urgent matter —-

Lianne, Trey’s high school sweetheart, was to have been the lucky bride. They had all the wedding plans set, purchased a dress, made invitations and booked a Hawaiian honeymoon. Everything was going great guns - until Trey walked in on Lianne with another man, sweaty, naked and getting buck wild in her bedroom. The wedding plans were cancelled quite soon afterwards, and Trey dropped into a major depression.

Trey could neither eat nor sleep for days on end. He lived on nothing but Slim Fast shakes for weeks. He just couldn’t eat, and he became pale and gaunt. Unbeknownst to the rest of us, he was conjuring a comeback by turning his despair into creativity.

The entire Alfred Packer trailer was built around songs Trey had written about his now ex-fiancée, Lianne. Trey was to play the title role of Al packer, who happened to have a beloved horse named Lianne. Packer has a love obsession with his frisky horse, but the horse isn’t so faithful and lets every man in town ride her. Trey claims that the only reason he wanted to shoot the thing was to get the line, “Hi. My name is Alfred Packer, and this is my horse, Lianne,” on film. In doing so, he inadvertently launched his career by showing off his talents of composing, singing, dancing, writing, directing and acting. —

Ian, who was more mature, upstanding, and dickish than the rest of us, would get amazingly pissed off when Trey and Matt would leave loud resonant farts on our outgoing messages. It was our official office line, which we had circulated to various professionals that we were working with, so Ian was standing on reasonable ground to be sure. Ian was living in Denver, so it was extremely inconvenient for him to drive forty-five minutes down Highway 36 to change the outgoing message, but he actually did so a few times. The rest of the time he would leave these pissed off messages to Trey and Matt about how fucking lame they were and how they needed to be more professional, etc. And Ian would be so goddamn mad that his anti-fart messages were even more hilarious than the actual farts themselves. So I would usually show up and find Trey and Matt replaying an anti-fart message over and over and laughing their asses off.

behind-the-blow

Jason McHugh, Shpadoinkle: The Making of Cannibal! The Musical (2011)

BUY THE BOOK HERE

sj0

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

hersheyhipster

Couldn’t risk it.

justjengie

didn’t realize they change colors. now I know o gotta wish.

pinayputa

THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT