Chinese doctor* provides practical solutions
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out soon enough. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit. More goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Not one! My philosophy, ‘No pain…good.’
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried today in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? Cocoa bean another vegetable.
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me…
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hoy! ‘Round’ is shape.
: Sad Hill was unable to verify the authenticity of the doctor, his photograph or his lifestyle recommendations.
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