[dreamgirl7101-deactivated202210]

“This is life, not heaven. You don’t have to be perfect.”

[fourletterwords]

They can’t have it both ways!

[thebandfruit]

Don't engage abusers. They thrive off of argument and making you flustered. You will not convince them to see your side. You will not convince them to consider the possibility that they could possibly be wrong.

[riotneko]

[femmenickmiller]

I believe all women mourn for the women who have been murdered by husbands boyfriends etc.

We all know women who have been abused by spouses and loved ones, some of us have been that woman.

So many women go missing, never to be found.

It’s heartbreaking that this is such a prevalent issue today across the world.

My heart goes out to Gabby and the countless women like her, the ones who haven’t been found and the ones who have. You didn’t deserve this.

[survivor-positivity]

you do deserve good things, despite those moments you tell yourself otherwise

[traumasurvivors]

Your trauma is still valid even if your abuser has genuinely changed and reformed. It does not invalidate what they did to you. 

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

it’s okay if your trauma didn’t make you “tougher”.

we are all affected differently by different trauma situations. that hardship can make you more sensitive, more guarded, more resilient, more empathetic, more vulnerable, more kind. it all depends and every version is part of an individual, unique identity of a survivor. as long as it’s not harmful to others, however you grew from your trauma is alright.

[ritikajyala]

to girls who fear looking in the mirror, to girls who fix their hair every 3 minutes, even when no one is watching. To girls who grew up too fast and break down in the grocery store aisle, to little girls who had to shed the skin of innocence, i wish you the softest nights.

[survivor-positivity]

nobody deserves to be abused. you didn't ask for it and it's not 'karma' or your fault. nothing you feel you did wrong means that it had to happen. you didn't cause your abuse.

[traumasurvivors]

Abusers may do nice things. This does not mean they haven’t been abusive.

A lot of times, abusers do nice things for you to manipulate you. But even if they’re genuinely trying to be nice, it doesn’t negate the abusive things they’ve done.

[defiantsuggestions]

It can still be abuse even if you have good memories of them.

It can still be abuse even if they've stood up for you against other threats.

It can still be abuse even if there were moments of gentleness.

It can still be abuse even if they once felt safe.

It can still be abuse even if they offer you gifts.

It can still be abuse even if they fed you, clothed you, and provided you a roof.

It can still be abuse even if you still feel love for them, even after the things they've done.

And it can still be abuse even if they love you.

Abuse isn't always an endless torment with no breaks in between. There are often moments of peace, and words of comfort, and times where they protect you.

And it's the good things they do that make it hard to leave. That make you feel guilt, or even nostalgia, at times.

But no amount of positive interaction can make up for it if your loved ones hurt you, repeatedly, for all your life.

If they beat you down, scream at you, judge you, hit you, emotionally manipulate and guilt trip you, neglect you, or any number of harmful acts that leave you wounded and scared, they are abusive.

And it's good to be mindful that both the positive and the negative can exist in the same person.

If you think abuse is just an endless stream of the negative, then you won't recognize it as abuse if your abuser isn't always cruel.

If you think abuse requires an absence of love, then you run the risk of seeing love from an abuser, and missing the harm they've caused.

And the most important step to escaping abuse is to realize you're being abused in the first place.

Abuse is still abuse, even if in the presence of positive experiences.

You shouldn't have to suffer to be loved.

[traumasurvivors]

Your trauma is still valid even if the person who caused it also went through trauma. 

[survivor-positivity]

recovery doesn't necessarily mean never feeling upset or angry about your trauma again, never having another nightmare or bad day. recovery is learning to live with your trauma, to grow and thrive despite it. that looks and feels different for everyone. you haven't failed because you still feel affected by it.

[traumasurvivors]

It’s okay to take time to grieve the part(s) of you that you lost from trauma. You don’t need to just “get over it.” You’re allowed to feel it and mourn. 

[survivor-positivity]

one of the key points of trauma recovery is learning to let go the idea of getting back to “who i was before”. your trauma has shaped you and that’s okay. recovery is learning how to live with what happened rather than getting rid of it, even if that feels impossible at the moment

[traumasurvivors]

Abusers can do nice things. This does not make them less abusive. Your trauma is valid even if your abuser “seems nice”.