i n e p t

I got a bone to pick.

[hioraye]

Almost 10 Years Later

Heyo!!! If any of my oldie 5sos/1D girlies happen to see this: I miss you all and I hope you're well!!!

If folks over the years have managed to wrangle my (5sos) masterlist from the depths of this blog and happen to be curious, you can check out my new blog @blueberrytrickster.

It's barren at the moment, but the plan is to come out of retirement, LOL, and start writing again. I'll be publishing works to AO3, but "promoting" them here on tumblr as well as sharing some other content.

The primary niches of this new blog being LADS (Love and Deepspace), CR (Critical Role), and a variety of video games.

It was truly a pleasure to blog with you all. xoxo - N

[altargrl]

It is the phenomenon sometimes called “alienation from self.” In its advanced stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want something; that we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game. Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves, drains the will, and the specter of something as small as an unanswered letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that answering it becomes out of the question.

Joan Didion, On Self-Respect, 1961.

[jehovahhthickness]

Repeat after me

Porn ain’t real life.

[jehovahhthickness]

You can’t just shove your dick inside of somebody’s vagina.

[jehovahhthickness]

FOREPLAY IS YOUR FRIEND!

And for some people, the more time you spend on foreplay, the better the sex session will be.

[jehovahhthickness]

Hold up … why are y'all afraid of a little lube????

Lube is life???? Turn that coochie and booty into a slip and slide and you’ll orgasm in NO TIME ok??

Jot that down

[jehovahhthickness]

Condoms are your friends.

And if you’re not fond of them, please make sure you are monogamous with your sexual partner (for infection control- meaning you will decrease the amount of STIs being spread). Get tested regularly especially if you are constantly having new sexual partners.

[jehovahhthickness]

Just drink more water. Please.

[jehovahhthickness]

And if you expect people to fucking shave for you. Expect them to have a little scarring or bumps because ingrown hairs are a bitch and there’s nothing many of us can do about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[jehovahhthickness]

Oh and your energy is everything.

If your energy is not compatible with the person you’re fucking with, the sex is not gonna be that great.

[jehovahhthickness]

Omg please stop expecting people who have no to little experience with sex to be doing magic tricks with you.

It’s either you’re willing to teach or just don’t fuck with them.

I’m tired of hearing that “your dick/pussy is wack” BS.

Ok sorry that they don’t have sex with everyone they make eye contact with. Sheesh.

[to-fuel-your-radiance]

Regarding that last one. I’ve had one too many straight men listen to me say that most of my sexual experience is with women and still get disappointed that I find blowjobs difficult. Like, dude, this is not the kind of oral I’m used to, give me a minute before you start jabbing my gag reflex. Also that they just expect it and don’t even ask what I want.

This is why I’m not fucking with straight men anymore unless they are exceptional and prove it to me before we have sex. And even then, I’m still not going to give a blowjob until they’ve sufficiently demonstrated that they know how to give me pleasure.

[jehovahhthickness]

^^^^^^^

[yafavblogger]

Porn ain’t real life. I say this especially to the women that are becoming sexually active. You will not be able to do a split on the dick the first time. You will not be able to deep throat dick without practice.

Be vocal about what you want. If it hurts say so, if you don’t like the constant jabbing that porn made popular let him know.

Pussy don’t taste like starburst and dreams.

[lol-buturnotmatthealy]

I love this and think that everyone should read and appreciate the fact that this thread was even made. Bless bc all of this is so very relevant.

[mckillher-deactivated20200322]

Y'all better take notes

[18ctpincushion]

step 1) foreplay step 2) more foreplay step 3) even more foreplay step 4) sex for a little bit step 5) uncomfortable? repeat steps 1-3 again

[jehovahhthickness]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It’s really not that hard to understand but then again, men are dumb

[dynamicsymmetry]

Re-reblogging to add from (painfully) personal experience: vaginismus is a thing. It’s not your fault, if you have some form of it. It doesn’t mean you’re hopelessly broken. It doesn’t mean you suck at fucking. It just means you’re going to struggle with some stuff more than other people with vaginas, and so many people with vaginas have this problem and don’t address it properly because they don’t know they can. Same shit above applies, except more. Go slow and demand patience. Learn your own muscles. Learn what works for you. Use TONS of lube. Advocate for yourself. Possibly talk to a doctor if it’s real bad. You deserve to have sex that doesn’t hurt.

And y'know, there’s so much more to sex than penetration anyway.

[jehovahhthickness]

^^^^^^^^

[prettylittlelo]

I will probably die before I understand why most men hate foreplay so much, I mean… It is life! If you both like or even love each other, shouldn’t you enjoy and appreciate the connection between you before you have penetration? Like wtf, sex isn’t only penetration itself, is the whole fucking process, and if you can’t keep your fucking dick out of a vg just cause caressing one’s body is too overwhelming and tedious, then bro, it’s time for you to leave.

Also…

Dear virgins or people who only had sex with one (shitty) partner: LASTING TEN MINUTES ISN’T NORMAL.

I REPEAT.

LASTING 10 MINUTES EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT CARING ABOUT YOUR PARTNER’S PLEASURE ISN’T NORMAL.

“Oh, but it’s hard to hold it back” for fucks sake, there are shit ton of resources on the internet on how to last longer, so stop finding excuses just cause you only care about your shitty self.

[thetattedstoner]

Spreading this gospel

[puppies-and-poledancers-deactiv]

Anal takes practice and isn’t for everyone! Take it is tiny steps for a long time if you are even going to consider it. Start on your own and slowly graduate through digital and small toy insertion. Do NOT force anything that feels painful. Never jump right into it because a partner is guilting you into it. It’s a hugely personal choice that takes a lot of effort. Porn actors and actresses take hours of prep, usually starting the day before, to be able to do a single scene. It does NOT come easy. Take your time and good lube is your best friend! 

[evxlbxtch]

Every young girl should be told all of this

[godfearingwomanist]

Thank you for the person who brought up Vagininsmus! For whatever reasons that you have it…remind yourself daily that you aren’t less of a woman just because you’re struggling with that. Luuuuuube will always be your friend! Always always. Don’t be scared to spend some coints on great lube and even on a great dildo. Extend that foreplay by pulling out the dildo and allowing your partner to use it on you. It allows your muscles to relax, you to get more comfortable with your partner and ends up being a fun time for both of you!

but main thing to remember is you are not less for it and if your partner makes you feel shitty for it, smack that asshole with dildo and bounce!

[sleepynegress]

Porn sex is AWFUL sex.   For people who watch it, please remember that it’s for the viewer to get off to and not the participants. The positions are for camera angles, not the performers.   If you don’t believe me, note how dry the vaginas usually are unless there’s lube.

[malikat-alshshear]

Why do men hate foreplay? Like you want me gushing or nah? She not just gone always wet herself ! And foreplay is MORE than just rushed oral sex 🤷🏽

[jehovahhthickness]

^^^^^^^

[superhusbands4ever]

Steve in Cap PSAs: Take it from a guy who was frozen in ice for 65 years. If there’s one way to be cool, it’s to follow the rules

Bucky hopping out of cryo in Wakanda: StEvE RoGeRS has never followed a GOD DAMN RULE in his life.

[whyactlikeahuman]

[ellijahwood]

[thephilosopheroftheboudoir]

[cptkirksnipples]

sometimes I forget that Shia Labeouf was this really awkward and nerdy kid in Even Stevens which was a huge show in my childhood and now he’s an activist and gives no fucks and shouts at actual nazis and gets arrested and comes right back and just damn Shia I love you

[severeobjectfun]

Dear teen girls,

Stop abusing your boyfriends and yes what you are doing is abuse.

Stop:

Yelling at him in front of his friends 

Hitting or slapping him when he does or says something you don’t like

Telling him he doesn’t have a choice when it comes to decisions that involve both of you 

Telling him he can’t hang out with friends because you don’t like him

Telling him to not talk to other girls even if they are his friend

Forcing him to spend every moment with you 

Belittling him and pointing out all his flaws

Calling him stupid or making fun of him for making a mistake

Threatening to break up with him if he doesn’t do what you want

Being emotionally manipulative and crying until he does what you want

Accusing him of cheating every time he’s not with you

Blow up is phone if he doesn’t text you every five minutes 

Telling him you are the must thing that has ever happened to him and no one else will love

Physically attacking him when ever you are mad

Forcing him to have sex despite that fact that he said he didn’t want to

Invading his privacy by going through his phone

Getting mad at him for changing his password and demanding he tell you what it is

If a guy did any of these things to a girl it would be considered abuse but since its the other way around its considered normal. Throughout High school I saw many girl treating their boyfriends like shit. Sometime even physically abusing them in the hallways and no one trying to stop it because its a girl attacking a boy. 

Boys: If your girlfriend does anything on this list leave her. It is abuse and you deserve better.

Girls: if you find your self doing anything on this list to your boyfriend you need to knock it off because you are being abusive. 

[dynastylnoire]

!!!!!!!! My brother was abused by his babies mom and it started like this and escalated to child abuse and neglect.

You don’t deserve to be screamed at, ignored, or assaulted.

Not showing affection when she wants or not hugging her before class) or missing a phone call doesn’t warrant getting cussed out or hit.

[fvlani]

Lol, I lost 5 followers from reblogging this. That’s fine, y'all can go

[onlyblackgirl]

Whole lot of grown women do this too.

[engel-tier-deactivated20180213]

Just wanna throw these in too

Being passive aggressive with him when he wants to spend time with friends or doing other things 

controlling when he’s able to go out with friends

Breaking up his friendships with other girls just because you’re insecure

Making him feel like his opinions in decisions that affect the both of you are irrelevant and don’t matter

SENDING HIS NUMBER TO STRANGERS TO TEST IF HE’S LOYAL OR NOT

testing him in anyway in general without his knowledge or permission (example: catfishing! it’s manipulative and weird don’t fucking do that)

taking money/credit cards without permission to spend on things without his knowledge ( had an ex friend do this constantly to her boyfriend and she’d always condone it because “he’ll get over it” )

guilting him for hanging out with friends/family over you  and making him choose between you and friends/family

telling him “you don’t love me if you *insert harmless activity he wants to do here* “

being rude or mean to him in front of others to assert dominance or power over him

downloading apps to spy on his phone activity (yes, this is a thing “”regular”” people do) or snooping on his social media to see who he’s talking to

hitting him, slapping him, punching him, shoving him. literally how do people not understand slapping your male partner is bad. people tend to find this funny in media and society and its weird. KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF YOUR PARTNER WITHOUT PERMISSION. 

I come from a family of very forward and manipulative women and i see it in media all the time. it’s fucked and people need to not be accepting of young girls acting like snot-nosed, abusive shit heads that think they can get away with manipulation and cruelty because they happen to be girls.

[alwaysbewoke]

and let me add this. ABUSIVE TEEN GIRLFRIENDS TURN INTO ABUSIVE GROWN ASS WOMEN GIRLFRIENDS WHO TURN INTO ABUSIVE WIVES.

if you have an abusive teen or young adult gf right now fellas, leave. don’t let her use you to get her shit right. you’ll be so fucked up by the time she gets it together if she ever does and believe that most likely she won’t.  

[spoonmeb]

Can i just add that ive seen young queer girls do this to their girlfriends. Girls can be abusers and you are right to leave. 

[purpleandpinkhouses]

Women/young girls can definitely be just as abusive. I knew a young man that got ran over and had his leg broken by his girlfriend because (in her words he annoyed her) He refused to press charges. Another young lady started to hit her ex boyfriend because he wouldn’t take her back because of the abuse. He called the cops on her and they literally started laughing at him because she was very petite in comparison to him. Anyone can be abusive and I wish more people understood that.

[madhattey-deactivated20211019]

dammit I’d spam my blog if i reblog this more than once but dude this is really important.

[ayeshapoptropica]

Oh my god. This is so important.

[nyctosaurid]

sleep paralysis is honestly the most bullshit part of being a living thing. sometimes my brain just occasionally screws up and goes ????? uhhhh . cant move.  here’s a demon 

[frie-nds]

[exco]

[betterthankanyebitch]

[fierysuggestion]

stop falling in love with different versions of the same person

[moshingtothesherlocktheme]

"Straight couples shouldn't be at pride"

Well uh…

1.) one or both of people you see as a “straight couple” could be pan/bi/poly/ace

2.) one or both of them could be trans or non binary

3.) you could be misgendering someone

[anidragon]

4.) They could be there to give moral support to a queer friend or family member who didn’t want to go alone.

[dragon-from-the-burning-mountain]

Number four is important

[ugly-bread]

5. They could be there because they support the cause stop fucking gatekeeping

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

6. They could be there in memory of a loved one, don’t forget Pride used to be a memorial as well as a celebration. I know a good number of straight people who go to Pride to celebrate the lives of friends and family who have died because they want to remember them as they lived, happy and joyful and surrounded by a community that loved them.

[itarille0797]

ALL OF THE FUCKING ABOVE.

[bewiubciueniocneoiheroihreoerfn]

[palepixi-deactivated20210413]