Why can’t we admit we’re awesome?
Why is it hard to admit you’re actually smart and educated in the workplace (society in general)? I never had a problem with it. Although, I guess it depends on what you define as a problem. I mean, the problem I had was that yeah, once they knew I was smart, my position grew and created itself into one of many hats and duties… and a whole lot of being taken for granted. So in that aspect, I guess it makes sense. But, I wouldn’t have changed it. I wasn’t afraid to show my smarts. I wasn’t modest or humble, things that we’re taught to be. Hiding my greatness seemed stupid. Yes, I’ve been called conceited and a host of other things, but… I had it all to back it up. I had told my son a few months ago, that the idea of “pretending we’re dumb” or just being humble about our skills seemed incredibly self-defeating to me. To openly say to the world that you are just normal/mediocre; to downplay what we really are, is the EXACT opposite of self-love and HURTS the growth of our self-esteem.
So… yeah, I’ve always openly said I was/am a Badass. That I am, like, super smart even. What has this done for me? Well, besides being boastful and full of myself, I have a voracious appetite to continue learning. For all the information in my brain that I’ve filed away for future use, I still have room and need more input, because my brain is constantly evolving and being better able to adapt and absorb bigger and deeper concepts. If I had believed my dad all those years he told me I was stupid… If I had accepted that I was “good enough”, then at worst, I’d be just like the masses. But, I never wanted that. I wanted to make a difference in this world, and that’s what I’ve been doing for 30+ years with everyone I meet. Be it a small difference, or something drastically life-changing.
I thought about this, this morning when after speaking about Quantum Physics, Religion, and Evolution with my husband for about an hour, he called in and just said he’d overslept and that’s why he’d be in a bit late. But that frustrates me, because my husband is like, super smart, too. And I’m sitting there thinking, why wouldn’t you just tell the truth which is far more interesting than the lie? And what about the nights when we stay up all night being intimate, why wouldn’t you say that your wife kept you up all night and then ya’ll repeated it this morning, and now you’re physically exhausted, and that’s why you are late? And, I’m sorry, I know what a bunch of people would say, but NO, it’s NOT about the whole “sex life doesn’t belong in the workplace” argument, because as much as people don’t want to know the details, they DO WANT to know that there ARE people out there that can still have a powerfully strong and wonderful relationship after “X” (12, in our case) amount of years.
Because if someone else can do it, maybe there’s hope for them, as well? And if your co-worker can be late to work for talking about Quantum Physics with his wife first thing in the morning over coffee, when you live in a small town and work at a simple small town engineering company… then… why couldn’t that also be you? Why couldn’t you also have deeper conversations about life theories that transcend the normal daily grinding conversations or just basic “good mornings” most couples might share?
My sister sneered at me the other day when I said I have high standards when it comes to a mate. I guess a man who was an alcoholic for years makes a bad person? Or a man who was depressed and uninvolved, because of his own challenges he had to (and did) overcome; makes a bad mate? That was just him on the surface, but deeper? This guy has a REAL BRAIN. He has patience and compassion. He loves my kids, and MORE importantly- they LOVE him. He ‘gets’ the big ideas and string theory complexities of life. He willingly adapts and evolves and has the same insatiable love and need for learning that I do… Add to that an equally insatiable sex drive… sounds like the perfect man for me.
I guess I just don’t agree with the lying about our greatness; or about the unwillingness to share our stories. I’ve always felt that if I’m doing well or I know something… that I should share it. I’ve always felt that if my experiences could help someone, or if my insights could… that it was my RESPONSIBILITY to share it. I lead by example. When I say my motto is “If I can be a happy bitch, then so can you,” I 100% mean it. Each person has a certain skill set. I’m just the person that you meet one day that is completely confident in themselves, and the guidance and advice that I offer. I practice what I preach. I can be taken for face value. There are no mysteries to me.
What there is about me, is just a million different layers, that depending on the person I meet, they may just never get to explore all of them because their OWN minds couldn’t comprehend the stuff that I know. And maybe that’s why my husband keeps his awesomeness hidden? Maybe that’s why it’s easier to admit to being just a slacker or “normal” person… maybe the people he works with might not be able to comprehend his mind, or his level of happiness in life? Or maybe this is just a conditioned response to society as a whole? In either way, this was just a thought I had that I had to get out of my mind and onto paper, so to speak.
