𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘳. @hiraethusa - Tumblr Blog

TRUST ONLY IN THE FORCE. cal kestis of the star wars: jedi series, as told by elias ( 21, they/he, acst. ) focusing on themes of intergenerational trauma, the hero complex, wounds becoming scars, and new beginnings. private + low activity.

i have recently softblocked 99% of my following list including mutuals after a long period of inactivity. if you are still interested in writing, you are absolutely welcome to follow again.

google doc. playlist.

tell jesus that the bitch is back @psychometrys

#i cannot stay away from cal for longer than 3 months 🤡

sheto

Failure is not the end.

#( 𝒊𝒎𝒈. ) — i am half agony and half hope / cal kestis.#baby boy. angel

re: the d+ show rumors

#y’all should know by now how much i don’t trust the house of mouse #have cal show up in live action fine but he doesn’t NEED his own show #THATS WHAT THE FUCKING GAMES ARE FOR!!!!!!#( ✩. ) — ooc ; some people call me the space cowboy.#logged in for the first time in like a week and a half for this. anywyas how are we going gamers

thinking about the few times the younglings are allowed outside the temple and little cal sitting in a diner booth with one of the masters, swinging his legs under the table as he eats.

#i would LOVE to thread this so it doesn’t have to be tapal #insert ur jedi muse here #idk why this visual makes me tear up though ;;#( ✩. ) — ooc ; some people call me the space cowboy.

halfwayriight

#i simply miss him sm #( 𝒊𝒎𝒈. ) — i am half agony and half hope / cal kestis.

hiraethusa

plotting call! regardless of whether we’ve written in the past or not, give this a like and i’ll pop into your DMs to start hashing out a dynamic between cal and your muse. ✨

#bumping again!!#i am pspsps at mutuals i have yet to interact with

lourdes-archieve

#nobody talk to me i’m feeling soft this morning #( 𝒅𝒚𝒏. ) — you and i walk a fragile line / paxton vydas.#( 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕. ) — and the more mysterious it is; the more you ache.

whenever someone calls cal a jedi knight or salutes him, it trips him up for a moment because he is not at all expecting it

#it’s mostly with those in the rebellion who have an idealized version of the jedi #because while his title is valid he doesn’t feel like a knight #and he certainly doesn’t feel like he. deserves to be lifted up or placed on a pedestal like that?#he’s just cal but everyone else just sees him as one of the last remaining jedi from before the purge #it informs a lot about his interactions with the rebellion….

cal is soooooo physically affectionate it’s insane

#both in the way u immediately think about affection but also. very casually?#if he's excited he'll grab onto the other person's hands and flap them together #or will squeeze their shoulders while saying farewell #you will have to pry this man off his friends i s2g #there are some things he reserves for a romantic partner tho but otherwise he shows his emotions through touch and movement #( ✩. ) — ooc ; some people call me the space cowboy.#is it a side effect of being touch starved for so many fucking years? perhaps

god i want to write youngling cal so badly :(

#he’s so shy and nervous but also so curious and gentle and wants to learn so much #i just wanna write him being happy for a split second before the trauma #( ✩. ) — ooc ; some people call me the space cowboy.

yes i’ve been a sw fan since 2015, yes i’m only just watching tcw

#i watched rebels before tcw ……#nobody @ me about this #( ✩. ) — ooc ; some people call me the space cowboy.

dathomer / merrin.

There had been those among her sisters with their own specialties. Some were better at potions than spells, some better fighting from afar than up close. Merrin herself had a particular knack for accessing the spirit realm, for visions. It is a kind of irony that’s not lost on her now, and she nods her understanding as Cal illustrates. One of her fingers traces a circle on her own knee as she sits there, considering in silence.

❝ It sounds … ❞ Fascinating. Horrible. ❝ Taxing. ❞ And how many places had he been where these boulders lurked under every surface? Dathomir alone - Merrin tenses, suddenly disliking the thought of what he might have found there, before they had allied. She’d kept an eye on him, of course, but … Merrin becomes very interested in the fabric of the Mantis’s seats, her eyebrows lifting. ❝ You are more likely to be affected in places of great - emotional turmoil. ❞ Not a question. Her eyes lift to his face, her expression unreadable. ❝ Like Dathomir? ❞

initially, all he does is nod in response. in the aftermath of the purge, he would only sense pain whenever he dared reach into the force. one massive boulder that had sent shockwaves throughout the galaxy, the effects still felt to this day. cal had recoiled so hard in order to protect himself that he thought something had broken inside him. a constant connection suddenly snapped, even more alone without the presence of the force. thoughts drift to the handful of times he sensed an echo on bracca... and quickly dismisses them. she doesn’t need to hear about those right now.

❝ the whole galaxy is full of turmoil these days, ❞ his voice fails to be as light as he intends, a bit of levity that doesn’t land. he attempts to play it off with a shrug, gaze falling in turn. ❝ but yes. there were many echoes on dathomir. ❞ a trail left by malicos through his crash and recruiting the nightbrothers. fragments of the society that was wiped out. merrin’s past. ❝ any strong emotion can leave an echo though. anger, grief, but also joy or excitement or love. ❞ beedee’s head pops up at the end of the sentence, eliciting a chuckle from cal. ❝ for me, though, the hardest part is trying to keep it all separate. the memories... get mixed up. ❞

#dathomer #( 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆. ) — failure is not the end.#love bd having to input as well

endiness

Cameron Monaghan in The Year of Spectacular Men

#kiss kiss #( 𝒊𝒎𝒈. ) — i am half agony and half hope / cal kestis.#(also platonic calmerrin energy)

never forget when i was writing cal back in 2020 and got a weird slightly passive aggressive anon about my cal being trans

#it was abt the wording of my rules and stating i was canon compliant #which to me i always read as compliant to the events in canon #and also nothing about cal's past and gender identity for that matter has been explicitly stated #he just presents masculine #idk it was strange lmao #( ✩. ) — ooc ; some people call me the space cowboy.

sagamemes

reblog this if you’re an indie roleplaying blog with both an LGBTQIA+ mun and LGBTQIA+ muse(s).

i’m trying to get an idea of how large portion of the indie rp community consists of queer muses being written and represented by queer people themselves. allies, don’t interact.

#technically hc but also when have i ever given a fuck about canon #( ✩. ) — ooc ; some people call me the space cowboy.

#( 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔. ) — the sun said ‘it hurts to become’.#do not reblog.#content straight from my pinterest board for cal #anyways i am thinking intensely

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