I got a crock pot. I have always wanted a crock pot even though, truth be told, I did not entirely know what a crock pot is or does. The crock pot, which I have named CoCo was a gift from my person who pays attention to the absolutely random stuff I say in random moments and gives the best gifts.
Anyway, here is the saucy little minx, CoCo that is. She’s red. And yes, that is a very big bottle of TUMS on my kitchen counter. I have bad heartburn and have probably developed a mild addiction to TUMS as well. Next to the TUMS is a Pier 1 candle that I haven’t used because I have no way of lighting the candle and I keep forgetting to buy a lighter when I am out and about.
I am tired because I did not sleep so well last night. I did not really sleep at all. I don’t know why. This is the way of insomnia. Sometimes sleep comes and sometimes it doesn’t. Today was supposed to be a “finish my book” day but my eyelids are heavy and my eyes are dry and, well, it ended up being a run errands and waste time and do laundry day.
Meanwhile, on CoCo’s first day, around 5 pm, after browsing the Internet for recipes, I came to understand that a Crock Pot aka a SLOW cooker, requires a LOT OF TIME to cook food. Like, hours. I don’t know how I didn’t realize this. The point is, it was too late, at 6 pm, to start a dish so I would have to do it the next day and start at a reasonable time. Ish.
Last week I went to Sweden. I had myself a European adventure in Stockholm. I took a tour. I saw a castle where the king doesn’t really live. I saw a tiny house village that provides space for people who live in apartments to have beautiful gardens. I saw so many beautiful people I got angry because it was just ridiculous. Their genetics are out of control. Alien invasion ground zero, obvi. I saw so many bicyclists and runners that I got even angrier. Calm down, Swedes. I was not crazy about the food. I did not find IKEA but I saw a lot of Volvos. The toilets are different. I went on TV, a show called Babel. I did a podcast with a charming and funny woman named Cookie. I met with many journalists. There were photoshoots. When a photographer took me onto the street people stared as he posed me and gave me instructions. They were probably wondering what I was wondering—who the hell is this woman getting her picture taken? I watched Eurovision semifinals, which happened to be in Stockholm, WHILE I WAS THERE! I also had an event at the Kulturhuset where I was interviewed on stage by Mona Masri. The event was sold out. In Sweden! I had a wonderful time. It was absolutely wonderful. I met some amazing Swedish book people and fans. I was reminded of what a dream my career is becoming. I earned this dream.
FYI, avoid Newark for international flights. It is a Hellmouth.
My trip was also, as travel tends to be, lonely. I hope, one day, to not have to do all this travel alone.
Anyway, I decided to make an Italian Pot Roast (recipe from Martha Stewart). First I had to cut four slits into the roast and stuff garlic in those slits. I also seasoned both sides of the meat with salt and pepper. Though I did not know this at the time, I did not put nearly enough salt on the meat. I don’t like salt very much so I use it sparingly but I took that to an unnecessary extreme. Basically, if you are going to make this dish, add some salt and also some other spices. Food needs flavor.
Next, I browned the meat on both sides in a pan with a bit of olive oil. Sizzle sizzle sizzle.
Oh yes, the bed in my hotel room was basically two twin beds shoved together with a mattress pad over that and then two separate duvets. The separate duvets were actually kind of clever. It allows for you and your partner to have individual cover configurations while sleeping in the same bed. I HAVE MADE A MENTAL NOTE.
My semester is over and this summer I have a lot of projects to work on–developing my podcast, writing a draft of the Untamed State screen play, book projects, essay commissions, the list seems to be growing not shrinking. I want a vacation at some point this summer. Correction—I need a vacation at some point this summer, a real vacation. The good news is that next year I have a reduced teaching load and I will for the foreseeable future. Something had to give but this will allow me to teach less and therefore be more present when I am teaching and also to write and travel more freely. It will allow me to [redacted]. Heh. I can’t tell you everything.
Turns out that with a Crock Pot, you just throw all the ingredients in the pot and like, walk away. You hit it and quit it, LOLOLOL. I put stewed whole tomatoes, some garlic, some baby potatoes and some mushrooms and fresh rosemary in the cooker.
I have been holding back a lot lately in this one situation and it takes a lot of energy to do that. I don’t want to hold back. I want to be free to be full on. I don’t know that I ever will be and, well, that is not ideal. I am working on optimism, though. I am working on cautious optimism so I should say that I think someday, I won’t have to be so careful and controlled and that is when I will be at my best or, perhaps, my betterest which is a word I just made up.
I added the meat on top of the vegetables and herbs and covered the ingredients with the lid and turned the heat on high and… that was it. I was deeply suspicious of this dark magic. I kind of thought the Crock Pot was a lie but I had to see this thing through.
Here’s a random thing. I never look at my credit card bills. I mean, I do when it is time to pay them but otherwise, not so much. Yesterday, I was logged into my credit card app and saw that I was charged a foreign transaction fee for using my credit card in Sweden. I got SO MAD about it. I am really cheap about the strangest things but let Apple release a new, absolutely stupid product for which I have no need. I will be all over that. Except for the Apple Watch. For reasons.
After around four hours I wondered if the food was really cooking so I looked at CoCo. She seemed to be doing something. Good smells were emanating. The recipe instructions said not to open the lid so I did not but I was very, very tempted.
Another random thing–I loved that little fight in that one baseball game where Odor punched Bautista and Bautista’s glasses went flying and he was just so stunned. For a moment, baseball was interesting.
I am mildly obsessed with the rise of Blac Chyna. Here is a great article about her ninja ways. The phrase, “the Lannisters of Calabasas,” is such a priceless line. I applaud you, Sylvia Obell.
After SIX HOURS, I decided my Italian Pot Roast was ready. Also, it was 9 pm, so like, ready or not, here I come, you can hide, gonna find you, and take it slowly. The pot roast turned out beautifully but it was very under-seasoned which I blame both myself and Martha for. I blame Martha because, let’s be real, Madame Connecticut isn’t known for her flavor profiles. I blame myself for forgetting that.
I am so excited to make other dishes with CoCo. I love this kitchen appliance a lot a lot.
Last Sunday, I was on C-Span. So bizarre. More people watch C-Span than I would EVER have guessed. I won an Exceptional Merit in Media Award for Bad Feminist from the National Women’s Political Caucus. Lots of interesting things keep happening. I am trying to keep up.
I am flying across the country tomorrow. I have a couple meetings. I am going to be filmed at a studio for a documentary (?!). Mostly, though, I am going for a few hours of home. That is the truth of it.
When I cook, I think about making a home, sharing the meal, offering this small act of care and nurture. I am thinking about how home is more than just where you get your mail. Sometimes, home is far from where you get your mail. Sometimes, home is what you build and fight for. Sometimes, home is a wide-eyed smile and open hands. My hands are open.
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