ᵇᵉˡᵒᶰᵍˢ ᵗᵒ ᶠᵃᶤʳʸ ᵗᵃˡᵉˢ ap.

[messianfell]

‘ would it really kill you to be honest for once? ’

GROWLING SUGGESTION.

               “  .  .  .  ”

          Of course, she’s always been perceptive. The way his steps halt alone are enough to give away the fact the comment makes him tense and he knows it; any change in his demeanor goes noticed by her. The hand that’d been absently tugging at the sleeve of his school uniform pauses, fingers digging into the fabric to keep him from making any further noise she can pick up on, but in the silence that surrounds them in that moment, he almost fears she can hear his heart pounding against his chest. He’s a liar, through and through – it almost comes as second nature now-a-days, with him constantly skipping out on classes and outings, even dinner. He isn’t oblivious enough to think she wouldn’t pick up on him lying to her, as well… but it’d always been a question of whether or not she’d confront him about it.

     “Nunnally…”  He tries to speak and his voice sounds a little too hoarse for his liking. Of all the people he’s come across, all the battles he’s fought already, she’s still what affects him the most in this rotting world. He feels guilt begin to build in the pit of his stomach and although he knows it won’t make much of a difference, he does turn to face her again, strained smile forming on his lips. The true answer to that is ironic, he thinks. Honesty is the one thing that would kill him the quickest at this point. There’s no going back from what he’s started. No matter how much it hurts her having to be left behind for now, it’s all for the sake of her world… White lies are often necessary to remaining human. Sometimes becoming a lie in and of oneself is necessary to rise above humanity.

               “I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been home lately…”  He can’t tell her the truth. Not now, not ever, not until all of this is over. He apologizes, over and over, in the back of his mind, but while standing in front of her, all he can do is play it down. He considers telling her an excuse – saying that he’s just playing games with more friends, but he doesn’t bother. She’ll know by the tone of his voice when he’s like this.

          It’s for that very reason he doesn’t reach out to take her hand and comfort her, no matter how much he wants to. He knows better.

     “It may be like this for a while, but it’ll be worth it. In the meantime, I’m counting on Sayoko and the others to keep you company, so…”  Wait for me, just a while longer.  “I’ll be home late tomorrow, too.”

[hisreasoning-blog]

‘ i don’t fight for you anymore. ’

fingers curled into her dress, she never wanted that– that was the last thing she ever wanted in this world, her brother fighting for her. a world she wanted was a happy one, one far from this and she knew very well that a perfect world would never happen no matter who was in charge of making the orders. she knew that her family just seemed to poison everything they touched, who would fall first? them or the rest of the world.    “  lelouch…. ”    she had not really looked at him from the moment her eyes had opened– he’d never given he that chance had he? he left her alone. she remembered what was said that day– she knew that should couldn’t change his mind, even now some things had not changed. once he had set his mind on something nothing could change his mind, but still the idea of fighting against him? the seemed way worse. “  i know.  ”  her tongue clicked, nunnally’s eyes scanned over her brother.  “  you should know i never wanted that, i’d never want you to be hurt due to anything for me..   ”    her head shook, she knew in the end evil had to die didn’t it? and the world saw her brother as that, an evil man who was power hungry and maybe that was the truth.   “  i know very well you must finish what you started right?  ”  did that make everything okay? no. but she understood nothing would stop lelouch, as much as she hated it– it made her stomach turn knowing where it would end, it scared her that the fate of her brother seemed to just end in his death.

“  i hope…no, i know you know this. but, despite everything you’ve done, everything that has happened i want you to stay safe, we might be on different paths but i still don’t think i could live in a world without you..without at least saying goodbye if anything happened. ” she could feel herself wanting to cry, but she had to be strong didn’t she?  “  it is how it’s going to end isn’t? death..i wish it didn’t have to be that way, i never wanted it to end like that…  ”  her eyes shut, “ i-i..need you to know no matter what, i’ll never see you as a monster, i’ll always love you until the very end and beyond that even, lelouch no matter what you do..i could never bring myself to hate you– but i am sure you must know this hm?  ”

✿ .:｡ happiness? nah angst all the way. | accepting | @emperorled

[spctlessminds]

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’ ‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’ ‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’ ‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’ ‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’ ‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’ ‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’ ‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’ ‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’ ‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’ ‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’ ‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’ ‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’ ‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’ ‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’ ‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’ ‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’ ‘  i am fucking divine.  ’ ‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’ ‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’ ‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’ ‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’ ‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’ ‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’ ‘  i bow to no man.  ’ ‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’ ‘  i cannot be saved.  ’ ‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’ ‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’ ‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’ ‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’ ‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’ ‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’ ‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’ ‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’ ‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’ ‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’ ‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’ ‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’ ‘  i have no home anymore.  ’ ‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’ ‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’ ‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’ ‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’ ‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’ ‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’ ‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’ ‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’ ‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’ ‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’ ‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’ ‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’ ‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’ ‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’ ‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’ ‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’ ‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’ ‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’ ‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’ ‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’ ‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’ ‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’ ‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’ ‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’ ‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’ ‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’ ‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’ ‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’ ‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’ ‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’ ‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’ ‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’ ‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’ ‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’ ‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’ ‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’ ‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’ ‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’ ‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’ ‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’ ‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’ ‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’ ‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’ ‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’ ‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’ ‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’ ‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’ ‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’ ‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’ ‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’ ‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

[hazumira]

[ayumiko]

~ Hanakumamii Character Challenge !!

Day 24 ✖ The character who makes you cry when they cry

Nunnally vi Britannia 「 ナナリー・ヴィ・ブリタニア 」 Code Geass

[hisreasoning-blog]

righty-o time for me to edit stuff on here

[hisreasoning-blog]

✿ .:｡  LELOUCH.

@hisreasoning continued from: ♟

A sullen expression lingered when Nunnally spoke up. That was all he was fighting for; Her innocent and genuine request. She wanted a peaceful world and he would deliver that to her. That’s how strong his love was for his sister. He would do anything for her sake. If it meant bringing down the entire world by force then so be it. No matter how much time had passed he despised his father for abandoning them. Lelouch had been dead up until he received his geass due to their abandonment, but even so Nunnally’s smile, her willingness to accept her condition, their mother’s death, being disowned by their father, and still face the world with a smile was enough to keep him motivated to live his daily life.

As he felt her hand on top of his he was comforted for the first time in several days. With this kind loving gesture he was fueled with much more resolve to do all it took to reach their ideal world. Lelouch reached out with his free hand and delicately placed it on Nunnally’s to let her know he was with her. ❝ Nunnally, I promise… When you see again. It will be a world you can be happy with. Suzaku, you, and I will be able to live peacefully together. ❞ He still seemed crestfallen when he spoke to her. The emotion he was feeling now was disappointment. The Black Prince was disappointed he wasn’t able to be there for Nunnally at this point in time. He wanted to spend time with his sister more than anything, but he wouldn’t be content doing so until she had the world she wished for. 

❝ It’s not selfish at all… I want to spend more time with you, but your brother is just… ❞ A LIAR. A MANIPULATIVE MAN. A MURDERER. ❝ … Very busy, I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. Everything will go back to normal soon. I’ll even make plans to have Suzaku over for dinner this week. That way we can start getting back into a normal routine. ❞

Hearing her final words Lelouch squeezed his sister’s hand softly doing as she said. ❝ Right, I almost forgot to smile. How could I forget such a simple thing….? Your big brother loves you too… You are what makes me happy the most, so I can’t promise I will be happy unless you are as well. Let’s both remain that way for our own benefit. ❞

FOR HER TO SEE AGAIN WOULD BE A BLESSING, but when would she be so lucky? SHE would be fine with not seeing and being around lelouch that would be very much fine for her. but really? apart of her would love to be able to see--- see things like suzaku’s face, see flowers again... seeing things she loved would be nice but she knew she shouldn’t keep her hopes up for such a thing. ❝  i really really hope so, even if I can’t SEE it be normal, i’d be happy... ❞  she’d be okay going back to a world with just; her, lelouch and suzaku, would that not be just PERFECT? at his words of SUZAKU maybe coming over for dinner she could not help but press on the biggest grin. 

❝ no i’d be so happy to live in a world with us....maybe suzaku as well, but for NOW  i think yes i’d really like to have suzaku over for dinner that is a really wonder idea, i sure hope he isn’t busy and he can make it... he’s almost as busy as you are.... ❞  her free went to her chest her fingers dug into her chest as she sighed, she hated that both of them where always so busy, she couldn’t help but worry about them both.

she let out a small chuckle, oh but of course he would forget something so simple that was most like him.  ❝  i thought you’d forget something like that lelouch, you really shouldn’t forget.. plus i’m sure that girlfriend of yours would probably love seeing it as well. ❞ she hummed,   ❝ ----- but that sounds fair....❞

[hisreasoning-blog]

@conbustio

  “.......” @hisrequicm

[nunnallyvibritannialove]

[hisreasoning-blog]

✧

I would kill you. ✧ I would physically hurt you. ✧ I would attack you unprovoked. ✧ I would manipulate you. ✧ I dislike you. ✧ You annoy me. ✧ You scare me. ✧ You intimidate me. ✧ I hope I intimidate you. ✧ I pity you. ✧ You disgust me. ✧ I hate you. ✧ I’m indifferent toward you. ✧ I’d like to get to know you better. ✧   I’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ I’d like to be friends with you. ✧  I’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ I’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ You are my friend. ✧ You are my best friend. ✧ You are my mentor. ✧ I look up to you. ✧ I respect you. ✧ You are my hero. ✧ You inspire me. ✧ You are my enemy. ✧ You make me happy. ✧ I want to protect you. ✧ I would fight by your side. ✧ I consider you an equal. ✧ I think you are beneath me. ✧ I think you are above me. ✧ I would lie for you. ✧ I would lie to you. ✧ I would sleep with you. ✧ I would sleep by your side. ✧ I would hug you. ✧ I would kiss you. ✧ You are family to me. ✧ I would die for you. ✧ I would kill for you. ✧ I would trust you with my life. ✧ I would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ I would trust you with a secret. ✧ I would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ I love you (platonically). ✧ I love you (romantically). 

✿ .:｡ feelings she feels | accepting | @hisrequicm

[solisnumen-moved-blog]

gift for @hisreasoning && @hisrequicm !! 

[hisreasoning-blog]

Lift your head and look out the window, stay that way for the rest of the day and watch the time go. Listen! The birds sing! Listen! The bells ring! All the living are dead, and the dead are all living. The war is over and we are beginning... || indie.  private  & highly  selective.  nunnally vi britannia. penned  by  chelly

[hisreasoning-blog]

last night i ordered nunnally in wonderland figures of nunnally and lelouch im so hyped for them to arrive.

[geassart]

“You two, please lend me your ears.”

[hisreasoning-blog]

IC.

[hisreasoning-blog]

OOC;

[hisreasoning-blog]

VERSES.