l'homme sans nom

author!twogami for vatra's talentswap au.

[ostaran]

Ibuki-chi really wants some taiyaki. Bring Ibuki-chi some taiyaki or she’ll cry!!!

[hissha]

What specific kind of taiyaki are you after, Mioda? Red bean paste, custard, chocolate, cheese, sweet potato, okonomiyaki, gyoza filling, or perhaps sausage? I am a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to snack food, you know.

[medores]

W-well it’s not a c-conspiracy so much as the idols w-who’ve begun to show signs of getting old cover it up with a bunch of plastic s-surgery. Also I d-don’t know about them but I’m always being pushed to change myself in some way to fit the mold of y-your typical idol.

I-I’ve been a victim o-once, they ended up p-putting the mic system out of commission. I-It took them a day to fix everything, I-I’m real lucky it didn’t delay my concert. 

[hissha]

Well, that's hardly surprising, is it? Actors are the same way, and the film industry isn't nearly as fiercely competitive as the idol industry. Every occupation that involves being in the spotlight is bound to involve some kind of pressure, it's nothing worthy of being written about. No offense meant, of course.

Really now, so idols are willing to go that far... Astounding. To think that that's even allowed, but then, the rules that people attempt to place on society are broken so easily and so often.

[medores]

U-um? I suppose i-if it’s for writing. Y-you’re right about the shady dealings, but n-not really the sinister conspiracies. M-most people in this industry d-don’t think past “you need to look pretty for as long as you’re in the business.” I-I mean a lot of idols try and sabotage each other b-but once again they don’t really t-think about it. 

[hissha]

Really? I should think that an industry so focused on youth and beauty would have some kind of dastardly plot in operation behind the scenes. But what do I know? You are the idol here, not I. Sabotage, you say? Not entirely unpredictable, but still interesting... Do go on. Have you ever been a victim of said sabotage, if you don't mind my asking? Or have you seen it done successfully to another?

[gaikans-blog]

Write me into your books? That would be interesting. I do enjoy your writing, you make the crimes and solving of them seem so realistic, unlike how other writers tend to do things a bit incorrect, and rather impossible. Very well, then. I am waiting to read it.

[hissha]

... Oh! Ah, to be honest, I wasn't actually expecting you to agree to that. It wasn't an entirely serious offer, but... Now that you've taken me up on it, I'll do so with pride! Expert sleuth Peko Pekoyama shall have the starring role in my next novel!

Thank you for saying so, I do try to make the cases I write about as realistic as possible. It helps that I have a lot of experience — I-I mean, I've done a lot of research!

[hissha]

Say, Pekoyama, do you know what I find incredible? That we have never opted to form an allegiance of some kind! Both our talents revolve around crime, after all — I write about it, and you investigate it. With our talents combined, no miscreant would be safe from us! I say that a partnership would be worth considering!

... Or, at least, you could let me write you into my next bestseller. People would flock to consult you, I'm sure of it!

[taihaitekina]

… What… It’s just the company’s recipe, you know. We spend a long time getting the best recipe we can, with me usually doing the tasting. And there is no way I am going to tell you the recipe, of course. I can’t afford it getting leaked and its value getting lowered. 

[hissha]

Heh... I was only joking. Although that would be an interesting plot for a short story! "Shadowy and monolithic bread corporations..." Do those even exist? In any case, I wouldn't expect any less from the famous Kuzuryuu Sweets! I thank you for allowing me a sample, although you wound me by implying that I'd reveal a friend's secret to the public! "The innocent have nothing to fear," or so I've heard.

[hissha]

Why, Kuzuryuu, I never knew that bread could be made into a sweet! But this... this is delicious! I could write a whole novella just about this bread, I'm sure of it! What's your secret? There must be a secret, anything this delectable must have a hidden trick! Or even... a dark side! Have you been doing dealings with agents from a shadowy and monolithic bread corporation, perhaps?

[hissha]

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

Why, exposing Japan’s criminal underbelly and the puppetmasters behind our government through the use of engrossing smash-hit fiction, of course! What else is an accomplished author to do when in a slump?

… Of course, I do write the odd bit of angsty poetry when I’m feeling especially down.

[hissha]

Tsumiki, just the young lady I wished to see! Haha... I can feel the muse flow into me just by looking at you. The idol industry is rife with shady dealings and sinister conspiracy, you know! I'm quite frankly surprised at how many people can't see past the veneer of glitz and saccharine showtunes, but it's not my place to judge. Would you mind terribly if I asked you a few questions about your line of work?

[tzahalhazak]

Hmm? Sure, speak up, Togami.  I’m all ears. 

[hissha]

Ah, excellent! Here is the thing, you see — my bestseller has begun to wind down, in terms of publication and popularity. I can tell. I must make my comeback somehow, and I've been searching for inspiration for my next novel. You, Hinata, have provided me with that exact inspiration. I shall pen a thrilling tale of military conspiracy! But before I do so, I need to do some research, so if you don't mind, I have a few questions.

[hissha]

Hinata. I'd like to speak with you for a few moments, if I may. There's something that I've been meaning to address with you for a while now, but have never gotten the chance. Can you spare a minute of your time?