Beethoven's homeboy

Phil | 33 | Canadian | PhD in linguistics | shitposting enthusiast | gay af

[xiaohongshu-for-you]

[koi-jyu]

HOW IS MY SISTER STRAIGHT UP CARRYING A GUZHENG?????

[piracypiranha]

SIS IS FUCKING BUFF

[prokopetz]

The author's poorly disguised fetish

The author's proudly displayed fetish

The author's fetish you're pretty sure they don't realise they have

The author's fetish which they're firmly convinced everyone has and is just pretending otherwise

The author's non-sexual special interest which just sounds like a fetish because of their habitually unfortunate phrasing

The fetish the author is making a well-meaning effort to cater to in spite of clearly not understanding it themselves

The author's fetish that never quite makes it into the text because they keep getting sidetracked by the requisite worldbuilding

The author's utterly pedestrian sexual preference which the text treats like a bizarre fetish because they've got shit to work through

The author's seemingly innocuous recurring trope they're going to have a personal revelation about ten years down the road

The author's fetish you missed on a first reading because it's so far out of pocket, it never occurred to you that you could sexualise that

[dovvvvv]

this is how charli xcx sounds to straight men

[rpfwasfine]

it takes 10 layers of the water filter to completely drown a tumblr screenshot if anyone was wondering

[rpfwasfine]

[garbuge]

my family wasn't this strict, but in some sects of buddhism you're not allowed to eat the "five pungent vegetables", onions garlic shallots leeks and umm chives i think, really any of those kind of vegetables. probably some monk ages ago was tired of onion farts stinking up the temple. anyways, one time my brother made a soup using all five of them. he said, "one sip of this, and you'll be reincarnated as a flea."

[butchstrahd]

[hestiagf]

good morning soft sad freaks on an unprofitable website

[ethernalium]

Renzo’kuk’en’balls is this anything?

I'm gonna start a rumor

rinoa pegs squall

[hoberyn-martell]

Not a rumor, that’s just plain fact

[pointnclick]

Someone is eating a fresh orange in this McDonald's. I smelled it and my head snapped up like a hunting dog. That smell doesn't belong in this wicked place

[akashicrecord]

You have turned this glory hole into a hole of dishonor and you must leave immediately

[recuperationdisliker]

i'm also looking forward to your girlfriend's bottom surgery

[fluffysheeple]

^ surgeon whose rare and sickly pet lizard only eats human testicles

[andaisq]

[devilmeows]

im high as fuck i was watching a friend stream the opening of super smash bros melee at the same time as i was listening to gangnam style by psy (it turns 13 years old today) so i recreated my experience

[fightinggameheritageposts]

fighting game heritage post

[riverpiracy]

do you think a 22 yr old is too young for a 24 yr old?

i mainly fuck divorced fathers so i wouldn't know too much about that.. but yeah i think they should both be put to death

[fidelcostco]

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

[fidelcostco]

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

[fidelcostco]

oh this is my post

[thecaptainkindofgirl]

My dad works at Home Depot and this one customer came in trying to return a lawnmower that wouldn’t start. Another employee asked the customer if he had put any gas in it and the customer was outraged, yelling that they should have told him it needed gas (it was in the manual) and the employee told him “Well it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams, sir.” That pissed the guy off more so he called the manager all “Can you believe this guy!? He told me it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams!” and the manager just said “Well, it doesn’t.”

[r-truth]

[gischtglas]

[hybernating-bear]

That's because this is Silmarillion

[the-commonplace-book]

[technofeudalism]

seems wasteful when you could just fix the head bits

[dduane]

Over on Bluesky...

Via Fiona Tribe: "Yes, Swiss scientist Fritz Zwicky coined the term 'dark matter' which is impressive, but he also coined the term 'spherical bastard' to describe people who are bastards no matter which way you look at them, and I think that should be celebrated more."