Summary: You and Yoongi met during his enlistment and quickly became friends, but what happens when your friendship begins to grow into something more?
Word Count: 1.3k
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of insecurities and anxieties
A/N: A massive thanks to @bethanysnow for requesting this idea and for obsessing over it
with me!😘 I’m so excited to work on this as a drabble series, I hope you’ll all enjoy it!
Masterlist
Requests are open
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‘Okay, you can do this, it’ll be fine.’ Yoongi repeated to himself, fingers drumming anxiously
against the steering wheel as he waited to pick you up from work, trying to quell his nerves
before he spotted you jogging across the parking lot towards his car.
“Hey, Min.” You greeted him as you slid into the passenger seat.
“Hey, Y/n.” He said, feeling a smile tug at the corners of his mouth in spite of himself, your
presence alone managing to calm him, if only a little bit.
It was remarkable almost, how in just a few short months, you’d come to be such an important
part of his life.
When you’d first met following his public service assignment, he’d been a bit hesitant of getting
too close with anyone around him too quickly, but you’d managed to worm your way into his
heart almost instantly.
He still remembered the first time he realized how much he liked you; he’d made some dry,
sarcastic remark that no one else had really reacted to, unsure if he was being serious or not,
but you had let out a quiet burst of laughter that had immediately set everyone else at ease. It
was just a little thing, but it had played over in his head for the rest of the day.
He hadn't even known that much about you at the time, except your name, your department,
and that the sound of your laugh was one of the best things he’d ever heard.
Before long, he had started finding more and more excuses to come by to see and talk to you,
even if it was just for a minute as he brought some forms for somebody else to sign, eventually
asking if you wanted to hang out together outside of work as well.
You’d known who he was of course, in your own words it was impossible not to, but you’d never
treated him differently because of it, something he’d come to appreciate more and more as
you’d gotten to know each other.
You were so bright and warm and funny, and had a way of putting him at ease that few others
had ever managed, he found himself easily charmed by you, and it was honestly your friendship
that had made the rather jarring shift between his lifestyles bearable, if not almost pleasant.
But more recently, he’d begun to realize that his feelings towards you had grown beyond those
of purely a friend.
Yoongi craved you, he wished there was a better word or phrase to convey his feelings for you,
but that was the best he could come up with. He craved your presence, your comfort, the sound
of your laugh when you found something he did cute or funny. He found himself missing you
constantly, even if he’d just seen you, wanting to wrap his arms around your plush figure and
keep you close at all times. It was like he was addicted, and frankly, it scared the shit out of him.
“You okay?” You finally asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.
You’d noticed he’d been quieter than usual, having barely spoken the entire car ride to your
place, stirring up your concern for him.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I-uh, wanted to ask you something.” He started, scratching at his palms
nervously.
“Okay.” You said, eyeing him curiously, making him fidget even more.
Fuck, it would be easier if you weren’t staring at him with those fucking eyes, he thought. They’d
been one of the first things he’d noticed about you, one of the first things to put a chink in his
armor.
He had spent the previous night laying in bed, trying unsuccessfully to come up with a more
eloquent way to put his feelings into words, but as soon as he looked up at you, everything seemed to
shrivel up and drift away, like leaves on the wind, leaving him with only the simplest of thoughts
and question in his mind.
“Would you… go out with me?” He asked softly.
Your eyes went wide. “What?!”
“Will you go out with me?” He repeated.
“But, w-why?” You asked, flabbergasted.
“Why do you think? I like you, a lot.” He let out a huff of laughter, running a shaky hand through
his hair. “Fuck, honestly? I think I might even love you, but I know that’s way too much out of the
blue. I just know that I want to be with you, as more than friends, if you’ll have me.” He finished,
glancing down at his feet awkwardly.
It was quiet for a long moment as you stared at him, stunned, letting his words sink in.
“I don’t… get it.” You said slowly.
He blinked, “What do you mean?”
“I mean, why me? I’m not exactly your type.”
“You don’t know that.” He interjected.
You scoffed. “C’mon, Yoongi, be serious,” You said, skepticism clear in your voice.
“I am being serious.” He said, looking at you with utmost sincerity. “You’re one of the most
amazing people I’ve ever met.”
You shook your head in confusion. You’d seen the type of people that Yoongi spent time around
in his line of work, and they were very different from you; thin, beautiful, perfect. Not that you
didn’t think you were pretty in your own way, but compared to the idols that he was typically
around, the idea of you and Yoongi just didn’t make sense to you.
“But I’m just… me.” You said, the last part coming out almost as a question, not understanding
his logic.
He smiled. “That's why I like you. You're open and honest and kind, you don’t hide behind some
front or mask, and you don’t put up with anyone’s shit. You’re smart, and funny, and beautiful-”
“But I’m-” Your hand went as if to gesture to yourself, but he was quick to catch it in his own.
“Hey.” The sudden sharpness in his tone caught you off guard. “Don’t you dare try to sell
yourself short, you hear me? When I say you’re beautiful, I mean it.”
You bit your lip, mind racing. You wanted to believe him, but there was that nagging voice in the
back of your head that kept saying it wouldn’t work, something was going to go wrong.
“I thought you weren’t supposed to date though?” You pointed out. “What if someone finds out?”
“They’ll say ‘good for them’, otherwise I don’t give a fuck.” He said firmly. “What I do outside of
that building is none of the company’s damn business.”
You smiled at that, but said nothing, still thinking.
“Look,” He spoke again, this time much softer. “I realize that this is a lot all of a sudden, and you
don’t even have to answer today, you can take however much time you want to think about it,
I’m just asking for a chance.”
It was quiet for a moment before you spoke again, softly. “Okay.”
He looked up at you. “Okay?”
“I’ll go out with you.” You clarified.
“You will?” His eyes lit up.
“Yeah,” You nodded, grinning at him.
He beamed, letting out a relieved sigh before leaning across the center console and pulling you
into a hug. “Thank you.” He mumbled against your hair, wrapping his arms around you tightly.
“I like you too, by the way.” You said.
“I was kinda hoping, given your answer, but thanks.” He chuckled, smirking at you.
“Ugh,” You shoved against his chest lightly, but he was giving you no room for escape. “You
could’ve just said it back.”
“I’m sorry, I’ll do better next time, okay?” He asked, grinning at you.
“Fine.” You grumbled, feigning annoyance.
“Can I make it up to you?” He asked.
“Maybe. What did you have in mind?”
Instead of answering, he leaned closer, pressing his lips softly against yours.
pairing: OT7? alphas X chubby wingwoman HYBE counselor Y/N (omega in hiding)
NEW MINISERIES (almost resembles a series of just drabbles)
Summary: She's the man. No literally. She totally is. At least in the perception of everyone at HYBE. She hangs out with the guys like a pro , strategizes with them to get them any girl of their choice, gets rid of their one night stands with ease, convinces their FWBs to leave them alone, provides constructive criticism about their sexual techniques, and even counsels them when they are having mental breakdowns. In essence, she makes MEN out of boys. Is that her job description? Not exactly. But she does it anyway. Because Y/N just happens to be one of the guys.
Warning: cursing, crude language, eventual smut
PART 2
"Y/N!!!! Y/N?!!!! PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR. I NEED YOU!! I AM GOING TO BLOODY DIE OTHERWISE!! PLEASE GIRL, OPEN THE DOOR AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY FIRST BORN CHILD". y/n scoffed as she heard the ruckus outside of her door, first born child? What was she the antichrist, or a demon? The closest to that she ever got was using cow placenta face masks on a Sunday and babysitting her niece.
She opened the door in bewilderment adjusting her thick specs, goddamnit, the constant disguise got on her nerves some days. She stared up blankly at a perspiring, anxious looking Namjoon who was frothing at the mouth. "Sure Namjoon, come in and while you are it, why don't you tell me why you want to sacrifice a squealing, diaper pooping little human being to me? Maybe we can work that into a schedule".
He sat on the comfy couch on her office, as she blew out her lavender aromatherapy candle, turning off her zen bamboo lights. He blurted without preamble in a nervous frenzy, " I am not able to take my penis out of my foreskin ".
Y/N was the only one he would ever come to with such a concern, because she wouldn't laugh in his face and judge him. Y/N tapped her floral pen on her stationary sheet and wooden pad. Her tapping brought his attention to nails painstakingly painted pale pink color with a pink diamond ring surrounded by a halo of smaller diamonds on her left hand that twinkled in the dim light. That was new. He never had noticed those on her before.
She calmingly inquired, "Are you on any medication Namjoon? Any antidepressants or heart medication, or did you ingest any herb recently"? Namjoon stuttered, somewhat soothed by her expressionless, blank face, "No. Not that I know of". She continued asking him, "Were you getting your morning erections and any nocturnal ones prior to this? And also, do you have diabetes or atherosclerosis"? As he answered negatively to all these questions, Y/N sighed. Then she quietly asked, "Do your regularly clean down there, with soap and warm water"?
Namjoon froze. "Ex--x-xcuse me"? Y/N sighed again, she rephrased , "To your own knowledge, do you clean up every time you have a shower down there by retracting back your foreksin from your penis and washing it with at least some warm water". He remained silent til he gasped out ," Yes ....I think I do ". Y/N put down her clipboard , keeping her hands on her thighs, looking directly in his eyes.
"You have a few options Namjoon. Either you can go to the clinic a few blocks away, and get it checked out by the urologist, who I can notify regarding your complaints. And he will get it figured out. Or, I will have to examine the situation since I am a licensed psychiatrist (a doctor nevertheless)".
Namjoon sat there in confusion, Y/N was a licensed psychiatrist, an actual doctor? Since when? So, her counseling idols was the usual for her? Then it all made sense. So that is why nobody had to actually go outside of HYBE to get basic medication/psychiatric medication prescriptions. That is why the prescriptions would always be written in her loopy cursive handwriting.
Then he realized he had to answer her. He decided to let her examine, as embarrassing and humiliating as it was. He didn't have time with the upcoming showcase the day after tomorrow to run to an urologist. "Please examine me y/N".
She nodded in assent and told him to get on the examination table which had been lined with a long white sheet. She turned on a circular examination light told him, "Take your pants and underwear off, and lie down flat on your back. I will examine you, so let me know if I am hurting you. I will stop or be more careful if that is the case".
She turned around , her back briefly facing him so that she could get sanitize her hands before placing gloves on. Namjoon noticed a protruding mass wrapping around her long baggy shirt. Did she by chance, have a big ass? It was a little silly to think that way, but they had never seen her in anything else. And her specs occluded her face, so they couldn't tell what she looked like without them.
Y/N took off her tinted glasses, and low and behold, Namjoon was starstruck as he saw her beautiful face. She had the biggest eyes and a classic round face, with beautiful lips the color of carnations. He was so distracted at her gorgeousness, he didn't realize she was trying to retract his penis from his foreskin. He erupted loudly, "OWWWWW. PLEASE STOP". She held his member more gently as she sighed, stating in a placid manner, " You have to clean down here a little more frequently Namjoon. After sexual intercourse, when in the shower regularly, and especially after a workout. This is called smegma, this white stuff. And it is basically dead skin cells that don't get cleaned off and build up as gunk. Let me get some saline solution and a pair of artery forceps and I will try slowly retracting it".
Namjoon blushed in embarrassment. Y/N took some saline solution on a gauze pad and gently started working it around his penis , making him slightly wince due to the sensitivity. Y/N internally sighed. Thankfully she didn't need to use artery forceps to pull it down. After dislodging the smegma, she was able to pull his skin off of the penis. It took some more time than usual, because there was a good amount of buildup and the man had a big D. Surprise, Surprise.
After fixing the situation, Y/N motioned for him to dress up once again. Namjoon, looking less stressed, but still flushed from the somewhat humiliating experience thanked Y/N, " I am so sorry to waste your time Y/N". Y/N waved away his concern, "That's what I am here for man. Just make sure to regularly clean that area with warm water okay"? Sheepishly smiling in agreement, Namjoon, taking a seat gingerly at the edge of the sofa.
Nodding reassuringly at him, Y/N concluded, "If that will be all, then I will talk to you later. Please let me know if you have any concerns later on, and I can help you out".
Namjoon walked out breathing a sigh of relief, that his problem was easily resolved even though he was mortified that she had to see something so intimate. He shouldn't be so inquisitive, but how was it that her face was so pretty but she covered it in thick framed glasses? And the rest of her appearance was drab and uninspiring expect for her pink accented nails and earrings. Surprisingly ,he had even gotten the faintest most alluring whiff of strawberries and cream that he couldn't place. Not her usual scent. Something alphas like him catalogued frequently, scent patterns. He had a feeling she was hiding a whole personality this entire time right under their noses.
If she was hiding her appearance and her scent, what else could she be hiding?
Warnings : mentions of divorce, gender neutral but mentions of having kids
A/N : I'm still in the process of moving but I had this in my drafts and figured I'd post it ! Starting in August I will be posting fake texts again, so look out for more coming your way soon 💕 Thank you for the request and I hope you enjoyed 🥰
no but hoseok is the only man who can wear your mami's hat, titi's gloves and abuela's couch and still be fly. some of y'all still don't understand this man's power
— summary: until death do you part, you are theirs and they are yours
— pairing: bts x reader
— genre: fluff, slight angst, demon!au
— word count: 4.4k
— warnings: none
— commission for @daisyjoons
“What’s that in your hand?”
“H-Huh?”
“The flower,” Seokjin beckons at the rose he has in his hand, his tall figure and deadpanned eyes staring down at the man, it almost leaves him wanting to pee his pants right on the spot. “It’s not for the baker, now is it?”
Six more pairs of eyes stare directly down at him and yet he still has the audacity to say; “Yes, it’s..it’s for miss Y/N.”
“Ah.”
Suddenly the air in the little shop shifts and a sharp, cold breeze rushes through the room despite the fact that today should have been nothing but a pleasant breeze. Little ashes of smoke begin to appear from the thin air of the floors of the shop, sauntering around as customers sitting in their designated seats pick their feet up out of fear, their whispers of panic raising, and the man at the center of the demons’ wrath feels sharp ice crawling all over his body.
“It seems you want trouble,” Jungkook says as he takes a step forward, causing the man to step back, and so Jungkook keeps following along until he backs himself against the counter, trembling in sight while the rest of the people hold their breaths, too frightful to make a move in fear of being on the receiving end of the demons’ wrath.
“I-I don’t want trouble,” the poor man stutters.
Taehyung clicks his tongue in irritation while Jimin scoffs.
“Clearly you do,” Namjoon says. “You uttered her name. In the demon world, no one is allowed to utter someone’s name so carelessly. Only if they mean something to you and if the person has allowed you to utter their name.”
“I-I’m sorry sir, I-I didn’t know.”
“And giving roses,” Yoongi plucks the flower right out of his fingertips, “means an eternal love you are willing to spend the rest of your life with.” He burns the petty little thing right before the man’s eyes, all the while keeping his glare pointed right at him, causing the guy to visibly shallow a hard lump.
“Do you understand where you’re wrong?” Hoseok threatens, an arm propped up against Yoongi’s shoulder, hovering.
“I-I-” He looks like he’s about to piss his pants.
“Do you, understand?” So Hoseok reiterates, deeper, darker, graver. “Yes or no?”
“I..y-yes, yes—”
“What are you doing?”
A voice.
A sweet, sweet voice more precious and sweeter than the nectar the butterflies flock themselves onto, than any blood that can satisfy a vampire, than the sun that gives humans light and nutrients. A voice they love more than anything in this world.
Except the woman herself whom it belongs to.
They turn in an instant, ears perking up, head snapped, to find you standing before the door that leads to the backrooms, holding onto a tray of desserts they know you’ve made just for them, and their faces immediately soften.
The room brightens up, the shadows beginning to melt away into thin air in the same way they appeared, and Jimin is just about to rush up to you if it weren’t for your eyes suddenly shifting from them.
Your attention isn’t on them.
“You’re scaring the poor man!” You quickly say as you put your tray down onto the counter, rushing to untie the apron strings from behind, rushing in between them and the gentleman, an arm extending as you force Jungkook to back off. “Not just him but my customers!” You turn to address the guy. “Are you alright sir? I apologize for everything.”
He takes one glance behind you and instantly freezes up once more, quick to shake his head vehemently at the dark eyes staring straight into his soul — unbeknownst to you.
“I-I’m okay! I’m okay!” He blurts out before simply scurrying out the door before you can get another word in.
You stare at the scene, blinking at his sudden rush, before turning around to place your hands upon your hips, all the while the boys are quick to change up their expressions, acting as if they’ve been innocent all along.
“You just lost me a customer. Would you like to explain why you were interrogating the poor dude?” You start, brows furrowed, shoulders tense, chin slightly protruding and they know you’re trying to be all high and mighty but in their eyes, you just look like an upset bunny trying to fight seven wolves. “You really need to keep yourselves in check and stop summoning your shadows to show up out of nowhere, you know that scares people. How are my customers supposed to eat and drink and have a calm peaceful day if you just show up out of nowhere and deliberately make a scene?”
“M-miss Y/N, we’re fine but please—” An older woman tries to appease you, her approach timid as she holds her hands up, trying to calm you down in fear of the men in the room who’re the reason for your anger. “You don’t have to stand up for our sake.”
“We’re fine, you don’t have to do this.”
“I’d really love it if I didn’t have to witness our favorite baker in town—”
“What are you talking about, ma’am, they need a proper scolding,” you say otherwise, clearly unaware of the public’s concern for your life, being as you’re literally standing up against seven tall, masculine men who can literally bend the Earth and destroy this town with a flick of their wrist.
“Miss Y/N, please—”
“It’s alright, just go back to your coffee. I assure you I can handle this.”
“No please—”
You ignore their pleas to turn back around, that business smile fading the second you meet their eyes and they frown, hating the way you sounded kind to your customers and yet don’t bother to send them a smile.
“So then, what do you have to say for yourselves?”
“It’s not even that big of a—”
“Excuse me?” You cross your arms before your chest, looking up at them with a serious expression and they know they can’t not listen to whatever you say.
Only you can ever make them bend a knee.
“Sorry,” Jimin grumbles under his breath but you pretend you didn’t hear it.
“What was that?”
He sighs and steps forward, snaking an arm around your waist and pulling you in close, much to the audience’s dismay, and pepper kisses upon your cheeks. “You heard me darling, I said I was sorry.”
“Sorry. We’re sorry,” Jungkook joins in, a hand on your head as he presses a kiss to your temple.
You feel your heart lighting up, a smile waiting to creep up but you know not to give in just yet. “And to my customers?”
Namjoon crosses a hand over to his heart, giving the people a light bow. “We apologize for the inconvenience, dear customers of Y/N’s,” he says, and while they simply look back with mouths agape and widened pupils, frozen in their spots, he turns his head back your way, a cheeky little grin spread across his face as if asking for a compliment for doing the thing that you asked him to do.
You bite back a grin, seeing how obedient they are when it comes to you, but you know that if you let them see even the smallest bit of that, they'll disregard the people around them and simply coddle you to their heart’s content.
So you take Jimin’s hand and lead him into the backrooms, knowing the rest are quick to follow along, all the while leaving your customers blinking and rubbing their eyes, wondering if what they had just seen was right or if it had been simply a figment of their imaginations.
After all, everyone knows demons would never yield to a human that easily, much less care for them in the way they just treated you.
“Someone looks stressed.”
Once you’re finally left alone with your demons without any eyes kept on you, you let your guard down, smiling ruefully as you take a good look at the seven of them. Demons don’t live on sleep in the way humans need it, they get their energy elsewhere, but sometimes there are days you feel as if perhaps taking a nap will help them.
They look so tired.
“But that still doesn’t mean you can come around here and demand things out of my customers.”
Yoongi grunts, rolling his eyes at your words like a child hating to be scolded. “I get it, I get it,” he repeats exasperatedly when he walks over to place his head against your chest, letting you run your fingers through your hair to coddle him.
“But he was trying to give you roses,” Taehyung says as he clicks his tongue with irritation, that glare he has on is always enough to kill someone if he could, and for a good while you were scared of it yourself, but luckily you’ve gotten used to it. Taehyung would never hurt you after all.
And you know exactly what roses mean in the demon language. It was what they gave you when they confessed their undying love to you after all, a day you will never forget, a day they swept you off your feet and the very day you became forever theirs. You can never forget what those roses mean to them because to demons who’re almost incapable of feeling, much less love another, if a rose is given by them unto another, it is something one must never doubt.
“You do understand that roses aren’t as significant as they are to us humans, don’t you?” You remind them, a light chuckle leaving your lips when Taehyung drops his head onto your shoulder, asking for the same attention you’re giving to Yoongi. “I mean they mean a lot to me because they mean a lot to you but to humans in general, roses are just another sign of love.”
“Exactly, love. That’s a universal language and he was trying to steal you away from us.” You feel Hoseok’s arms slide around your waist from behind, lips pressing onto the nape of your neck.
“He didn’t know,” you try to excuse the action of the poor man who you didn’t even know was trying to confess to you just a few minutes prior.
But they’re having none of that.
“Who goes around professing their love to someone they don’t even know that well? Did he really believe a pretty girl like you would remain loveless by men all around her?”
You laugh awkwardly at Seokjin’s words. “What’re you trying to say by that?”
“He should know his place,” he says as he takes your chin from under his fingertips, bringing you forth to his face, “and that you, who is beloved by many, wouldn’t have already stolen the hearts of others around her. You attract after all, and just like those pretty little sweets you make every day before the town can even wake up, a simple glance at you can cause quite the addiction.”
“I..” You avert your eyes, cheeks heating because you know exactly what he’s trying to imply. “I don’t think I..”
“You don’t?” The eldest raises a brow as if daring you to further challenge his belief.
“W-well…” You stumble on your words before clearing your throat. “Sometimes too many sweets can be bad for you.”
“Well, luckily I have a sweet tooth.” A small little smirk curl along the corner of his lip, a low chuckle leaving him just as he leans in to capture your lips, leaving your heart to skip a thousand beats faster than its initial pounding.
He doesn’t kiss you for too long but even then, once he leaves you, you’re a blushing mess.
“Heart’s pounding rather fast,” Yoongi states, and you’re stumbling over your words once again.
“I..I-I wasn’t…”
“How long has it been? You’re still swooning over such a small thing?” Jungkook teases.
“It’s alright, I quite like it actually,” Seokjin says, his hand reaching up to tuck it behind your ear. “It’s quite refreshing seeing what we do still makes her react like this. You love us that much, huh darling?”
“If you’re here just to tease me, please just return to whatever it was you were doing before coming here.”
“Hey, don’t act like you don’t like it,” Namjoon pulls you back in when you try to run away to hide your embarrassment. They hold you in close, grips so steady you know there’s really no chance you’ll ever be able to escape.
Not that you want to.
And seeing those looks on their faces, you know they know that fact more than anyone else.
After all, these days can sometimes be rare; the days when they show up before you unexpectedly, most times without ever telling you beforehand. These days are the days you cherish the most, when you can be in their arms just like this, without ever feeling as if they would ever let you go.
Not until it’s time for them to leave. Not until they have to leave.
And it’s in those moments when they do have to leave do you feel the most lonely. When you have to stay behind, taking a moment to gather yourself, remember their holds and kisses, before returning to your baking with a customer smile on your face so no one knows just how lonely you are when your demons leave, knowing you can do nothing but wait until their next visit.
There are times when waiting takes days, weeks, and sometimes even a whole month and you’re always left wondering just where they are and where they’ve gone and what they’re doing.
But you know you’d never tell them just how lonely you really are when they’re gone.
After all, the times they visit are for the times of loving and holding one another. It isn’t a time to dwell on things that don’t matter, it isn’t a time to cry and wish and to hope. It’s a time to cherish what’s before you before they have to leave.
Only when they’re gone can you actually dwell on your loneliness.
“If something ever goes wrong or if you simply need us, you can call us anytime.”
You stare at the little bell shaped into a red rose one lonely night while standing under the stars in the middle of your garden.
It’s the garden of red roses they created for you, a garden that can never wilt no matter the seasons, time, or period. It dies only when the owner who received these flowers dies.
It will wilt only once you’ve wilted.
“Just how long will you continue to live, little ones?” You hold a hand out to feel the soft petals of the roses upon your fingertips, smiling at how pretty they are. Not even one petal is torn or hurt. They all look alive and well, alive and flourishing.
Jungkook says they reflect their owners’ age as you know that one day in the far future, these flowers will probably begin to look dainty and frail as well, and yet you don’t wish to ever see these flowers growing old with you.
Growing old means nearing death.
Growing old means wilting.
And then what will happen to the ones you’ll be leaving behind? The lifespan of a human does not last forever after all, and the more you think about it, the more you come to understand that they’ve got all the time in the world, hence they don’t ever look sad or griefed whenever they come to visit days or weeks or months later.
It is because to demons, the passing of time is simply but a second walking by.
Yet to you, every ticking second means a second closer to wilting away.
You let out a sigh, turning from the flowers to take a step forward towards your house when a harsh wind passes by, causing your shawl to fly off, and in an attempt to grab for it, you’ve forgotten about the bell you had in your hand, causing the little flower shape to fall from your hand and jingle as it hits the ground.
You gasp as you freeze in place because in just mere seconds, you know you aren’t alone anymore.
Seven presence right behind you.
Who would have thought it’d work this fast?
You quickly pick your bell up, eyes scanning forward at the shawl that flew off onto a rose bush, and rush forward to take it back because of how cold the night air has gotten.
“Well someone most certainly called us here on purpose, didn’t she?”
You turn back at Yoongi’s sarcastic comment once you’ve gotten your shawl to wrap it back onto yourself.
“Sorry! It was the wind,” you quickly say as you rush back to their side. “The bell was in my hand and when my shawl flew away, I forgot about it so when I went to reach for my shawl, the bell fell out and now here you are, summoned by the jingle.”
“So you’re not in immortal danger?”
At Seokjin’s question, you take a look around, wanting to laugh a bit at the situation. “Uh nope! Looks like I’m perfectly fine.”
“So you’ll only call us if you’re in immortal danger? How disappointing.” Jungkook lets out a heavy sigh, his lips pouting.
“What? You want me to call you if I miss you or something?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“Ha ha, very funny.” You place the bell securely into your pocket then tighten the shawl around your body. “Anyways, it’s pretty cold out here. You should get back to what you were doing. As you can see, I’m not hurt nor am I in any danger. In the meantime, I think it’s time for me to head to bed.”
You begin to walk off to your door again when Namjoon stops you.
“What were you doing out here?” He asks and you stop in your tracks, shrugging.
“Just thinking.”
“Thinking?”
“About immortality and stuff.”
“Immortality?” Jimin steps up to drape an arm around your shoulder in order to turn you back around to where they’re standing, at the same time helping you to keep warm against the night breeze. “What’s got you thinking about immortality, darling? Are you finally thinking about how to become one?”
“You know I like my human life.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he rolls his eyes. “Something about growing old is part of what makes human life so beautiful or whatever.”
“I don’t understand why death is beautiful to you,” Taehyung says.
“Well on the other hand, don’t you think immortality is somewhat of a curse?” You ask and they look upon themselves as if they’ve never given that idea a chance before.
“Why would it be a curse?”
“Well…” Your words trail off slowly and yet they wait for your explanation, eyes steady on you, ears open to whatever you have to say, and you play along with your fingers, nails digging into the skin a bit. “When I die…you’ll still have thousands of years left to live.” You avoid their eyes, staring down at the ground. “...Won’t you miss me?”
They grow silent.
Everything grows silent and you hear nothing but the little breeze that passes by ever so often, as well as the cicadas out in the night, singing their sweet songs, a melody mirroring the birds in the early morning.
“So you’re saying,” Hoseok begins, “that you’ll die before us.”
“It’s inevitable,” you say, looking up again. “Forty years may not mean a lot to you but forty years into the future means me getting old and gray and my health deteriorating. Humans are living and dying at the same time. I get closer to death with each passing day.”
“Don’t say that.”
“You know it’s true.” You watch as Jungkook turns to look at the flowers in the garden, his hand reaching out to touch one of them. “I’d never want to die and let you live through years of heartache. I’d never want to leave you behind in this world and no matter how happy we will be, death is something that is inevitable to come for me, you know that. Though I wouldn’t ever want you to follow along either. I don’t want to die together.”
“So you love your human life but you don’t want to die and leave us behind, but you also don’t want us to choose our own death in following you right behind, and you don’t wish to become an immortal.” Namjoon takes a step forward into your proximity, their expressions more grave than any other times you’ve ever seen them — except in those moments when you’re in immortal danger right before them. It frightens you a bit wondering what’s going on inside their heads, but what frightens you most is the inevitable future threatening to tear you apart.
“What is it that you want, Y/N?” Namjoon asks and you take a moment to think.
What is it that you want?
Why’re you thinking about immortality and death? Why was the wind listening to you when you were left to yourself in this garden? Why did it hear your silent plea in wishing to see them and therefore taking your fate into their hands and causing you to accidentally call for your demons?
Why does any of this even matter?
“I don’t know…” You look down at your feet, fingers unable to keep still, the vision before you blurring. “I-I don’t know,” you admit truthfully and when you look up again, their eyes widen at the sight of tears brimming along your waterline, waiting to fall down any second now. “I don’t want to live forever but I don’t…I don’t want to ever leave you behind and…and…I don’t know what I want. All I know is that…is that even though I enjoy this human life, I hate how different we are. I hate how different we think because to you, a day passing by means nothing. A week, a month, maybe even a year. A year without me is nothing to you. You can let time go by and it wouldn’t mean a thing because you get to live forever but to me…to me….I..”
You swallow the lump that wishes to cut your voice off, forcing the words out. “I hate waiting. I hate not knowing when it is you’ll be visiting again. I hate each day that passes, I hate it when you leave me, I hate being lonely and empty, I hate it when I have to wait. I hate it. I hate all of it.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“I don’t know,” you cry, ignoring the tears that slip by when they close in on you. A few hiccups threaten to leave your voice behind but you continue talking through it all. “It’s just…I-I didn’t bring it up because I know you get busy and even if you aren’t so busy, I…I thought that, well, if the passing of time doesn’t affect you, why should it affect me?”
“You should have spoken up, my love.”
“You know if you asked for the world, we’d give it to you in a heartbeat, right? Why would you think we wouldn’t stop anything and everything if you just asked to be with us?”
“I don’t know,” you cry again, letting the last syllable drag out as more tears fall from your eyes and they’re quick to panic, realizing their reassuring words probably sounded more like them scolding you.
“It’s alright, it’s alright. You don’t have to cry anymore.”
“We know. We know now so it’ll be alright.”
“I’ll tell you what, become one of us.”
Your cry falls silent as only sniffles and small hiccups leave your lips when you hear those words. You blink up at Taehyung, slightly confused. “..What?”
“You heard him, become one of us.”
“I told you I don’t want to live forever.”
“You don’t have to live forever, darling.”
“I..I don’t?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “We can live together for as long as we want and when you get tired of life, when you get tired of immortality, just say the word and we’ll make it happen in a heartbeat.”
“...Really?”
“Of course.” Namjoon presses a kiss to your forehead just as you feel Taehyung’s hands wiping your tears away and Seokjin handing you a tissue he created from thin air. “Hoseok said, didn’t he? You could ask us for the world and we’d give it to you without question.”
“We’d burn the world if it means making you happy.”
“But what if I just want you and not the whole world?”
Soft smiles appear upon their faces, softening their features, whispering sincere affirmations of love.
“Oh darling, you already have us.”
“And you’ll have us even after death takes us all away.”
“But…I thought…” with the last remaining tears wiped away, you take a small little glance towards the rose bushes, eyes scattering off with confusion, “doesn’t immortality mean…forever? How would I..-How would we just…leave this world?”
“There is always an answer to everything,” you feel warmth seeping through the palm of Yoongi’s hand when he caresses your face, “and just like the stars that burn bright in the night, lasting for eons on end, they too have their beginning and ending and one day they will burn away as well.”
“Then, technically..you aren’t cursed with immortality?”
“Well technically, yes, but in theory, going against the ways of life means going against the laws of the world, which also means throwing things off balance, so it also means receiving death sentences for throwing off said balance.”
You take a moment to blink, trying to comprehend what Jungkook just said, before simply letting out an “Oh.”
They chuckle at your silence and you feel Jimin ruffle your hair. “Though of course we’d never let anyone touch you, not even the world. There are other ways to leave an immortal life but it’ll happen when we get there so don’t worry your little head off about how everything works.”
“You just have to trust us,” Seokjin agrees.
“You’ll trust us, won’t you?” Hoseok asks.
You take his hands in yours, eyes determined without a glint of hesitation. “I trust you with my life and until death do us part, it is yours to keep.”
Taehyung chuckles at the sentiment before repeating the vow you’ve just spoken. “Until death do us part.”
everything you wanted came easily. you were your land’s pride and joy as well as your father’s.
but you were lonely
your father saw this and knew he needed to fix this quickly
he appointed jimin, a young boy who lived a semi-normal life in your kingdom, to be your servant. he requested that jimin be at your every beck and call.
and he was
you were each other’s entire world from the moment you met. you couldn’t remember life without him and vice versa.
you two grew up together and changed from kids to teen to adults.
at some point during those years, the two of you had fallen for each other. openly yearning for one another.
he had even given you your first kiss on your 18th birthday, in secret of course.
after that, your relationship had been comprised of secret affection, stolen kisses and longing glances
there was never any talk of furthering the relationship or putting a title on things because you both knew that it would complicate everything and you were afraid that your father might separate you from jimin
this went on for years until word had spread around the castle when some people had seen you and jimin interacting outside of your quarters and it quickly made its way to your father
your father was a stern and stubborn king but you were his one and only child,his princess, so he bent to your will. allowing jimin to still be by your side.
under one condition
you were to meet a suitor to be wed to. a prince from another country who was far from being in line for the throne.
he claimed it was your duty as a princess, and only daughter to find the next king for your people.
you begrudgingly obliged, knowing this was his punishment.
“why must you go?” jimin groans as you get ready for your departure.
“it is my duty as the princess of this land,” you sigh, “besides what if this prince is a handsome, noble and charming man and i happen to fall in love.”
you were met with silence. you were only joking to lighten the mood but jokes have never been your forte. you turn around to see jimin’s dark gaze trained on you. he looked broken by your words. you grab his hands and lock eyes.
“i was joking, you know,” you say, softly and it looks as if a weight was lifted off of his shoulders, “i vow to never fall in love with anyone but you, till the end of time.”
“and if you do?” he asks.
“then may the gods send me the wrath of hell.” you smile, leaning so close that you forehead are touching. you soak in the presence of each other until you were called to leave.
upon meeting the prince you were meant to wed, you were withdrawn.
he was a very handsome man, and well mannered too
however, when you were left alone to get acquainted, you were left with a bad taste in your mouth.
he was ill tempered and quite rude, especially about your body.
he believed the body of a princess should be small and fragile looking and because you did not look the part you were a lazy princess who would have to be arranged to be wed in order to have any semblance of romance in your life.
“that’s not a very nice thing to say to the woman who can make you a king,” you spat, “and there are many a man that would kiss the ground i walk on with no other reason than to be in my presence. surely not to become king,”
“because the men of your kingdom have no standards with a princess who looks as unsightly as you,” he scoffs, “when i am king, they will come to their senses.”
“you musn’t forget,” you press, stepping forward, “you may become king, but it is my land and they are my people. i have been preparing to rule my entire life and i can do so with or without you.”
your father had made a grave mistake in having you meet, and even started regretting forcing the life of marriages of convenience on you shortly after.
he saw the effect it made on you before anyone else could.
you had become mean spirited and closed off from everyone, choosing to spend time alone in your quarters day in and day out, only being seen for meals.
you had even turned jimin away time after time, causing him to worry as well.
a week had passed before your father had called upon jimin.
“you called, your highness?” he asks, bowing.
“i did,” the king sighs, “i worried for my daughter. she has not been the same since she met the prince.”
jimin hums, hoping to hear that you were okay.
“do you love my daughter, young man?” your father asks.
“i do,” jimin answered without hesitation, “she is the light of my life. i cannot remember what my life was like before her and i cannot imagine what my life would be like without her. i am well aware the with my upbringing that i can never truly be with the princess but the time we have spent together was not in vain. i have gotten to love the most beautiful woman in the world, even if just for a few years. that means the world to me.”
the king just stares with a hardened expression and jimin begins to feel the weight of his words crush him. he knows that speaking as freely as he did could get him punished but he figured since the king asked that he should answer honestly.
“i haven’t heard such a sentiment since i fell in love with y/n’s mother,” the king says and jimin’s eyes widen, “you’d make a fine king one day.”
“but sir-” jimin starts but is sent away to get you.
jimin is stunned but feel like he is floating from you father’s approval of him when he reaches your door.
he says almost nothing while accompanying you to see your father and you just stare at him suspiciously.
“hello father.” you bow and look and his soft eyes on you.
“hi princess,” he says softly, smiling. you sit at his feet patiently waiting for him to speak, “what did you think of the prince?”
“he’s not quite ready to be a king,” you sigh, “and he’s not a fit man for a lady such as i. i do not wish to marry him.”
“are you saying this genuinely or are you saying this to be with jimin?”
“jimin has nothing to do with this. you have raised me to know this land and the responsibilities i owe to the people. i am willing to be queen and take on those responsibilities without being wed.” you explain.
“do you love jimin?” he asks.
“like the moon loves the sun.” you answer.
“how so?”
“in the early morning. when the world stands still while the darkness turns to light, the moon will cling to both light and dark to see the sun in the sky, if even for a short moment. that’s why you can seen both in the sky if you were lucky enough. he is my sun. i cling to a distant reality in order to be in love with him, even if it won’t be for long.”
“i was a fool to appoint jimin, assuming you wouldn’t fall in love with him,” he says and you frown, “but just as i have watched you grow, i have also watched him. and in doing so i have seen more than enough to allow you to choose your own path. i will not stand in your way. if you believe jimin will be a king fit enough for you one day then you may be with him.”
without a word you share a hug with your father, squeezing him tightly. you pull away and smile at him, seeing a twinkle in his eyes.
you and jimin fall for each other openly afterwards.
one night, while laying in bed jimin brought up the suitor.”
“did you fall for him?” he asks and you look at him, amused.
“why? are you feeling envious?” you giggle.
“of course not.” he sighs, looking to the ceiling.
“it doesn’t matter, my love. my meeting with him was many moons ago,” you say, “and you will be king someday while he is still the forgotten prince of his kingdom.”
he hums and you kiss him.
“besides, i’ve vowed my love and life to you.” you say.
you, the quiet, lonely achiever, get paired up with the superstar new student at your university for a group project... and he needs all the help he can get
description/tw/tags: ~7.1k words / jungkook x chubby (f) reader / one-shot / fluff with a tiny dash of angst / strangers to friends to lovers / university AU / this is a request, submitted by the lovely @cat123jkbunny / i hope you (all) like it! / fatphobia (details: y/n is insecure and quiet and she gets bullied for her body and is made fun of for it, with someone insinuating she isn't good enough because of her body. There is also a scene where she feels like she is ashamed to eat in a crowded place but jk helps her out of that) / clean except for kissing and swearing / this is for my fellow curvy/chubby/plus girlies, you are all beautiful and i am always here for you and i hope you like this / feedback is always welcome and it's appreciated! note: i have 2 half-written drabbles (AND even some more ideas) that emerged from this fic request, with the same couple! If you guys like this and want to see those - let me know!
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Please not Jeon Jungkook. Please God, not Jeon Jungkook. Anyone…. anyone but…
“….Jeon Jungkook.”
Damn it.
His name echoed throughout the gigantic lecture hall and in your skull. Out of every student in your class, did it really have to be him? The one paired assignment you had in your course had to be with Jeon Jungkook. As your professor called out the pairs… there seemed to be no one left but the two of you and the final pair, who were always together, his best friends Taehyung and Jimin. You’d gladly work with either of them instead, or anyone really….
There was nothing wrong with Jeon Jungkook… nothing at all. That was what was so bewildering about your university's superstar. Jeon Jungkook was the school's…. everything. Enigmatically the star athlete, a featured artist, a Dean’s List candidate, and even a band member on the weekends, apparently. He was the student that transferred to your prestigious university - absolutely unheard of - simply because the faculty were that impressed by him. With a reputation like that, it wasn’t long before everyone knew his name and face and was captivated by him immediately. Even the professors took a liking to him straight away - you’d grown tired of hearing them mention his name during office hours while they seemed to be getting tired of you. Every girl and guy on campus fawned over him - within good reason, you had to admit, considering his reputation and easy-on-the-eyes appearance… though you'd never stare his way for too long. The point remained:
If you went unseen, Jeon Jungkook was seen.
Being paired with him meant that whether you liked it or not, you would be in the spotlight in some way. No matter what - you’d have to talk to him, for God’s sake. You think to bolt out of the hall, find his email address, and just send him a breakdown of your responsibilities for the assignment or even an offer to do all the work yourself. You’d hate to, but if it meant interacting with Jeon Jungkook as little as possible and remaining unseen, you’d do it - what’s a few all-nighters and extra work when faced with the humiliation of talking to the school’s most popular person?
“Y/N?”
Shit.
People hardly called you by your name at university - your one friend had already graduated, so just being called would’ve startled you enough… let alone having heard it from such a hushed, singsong voice. Turning around, you see the enigmatic man standing right above you. Everything made sense in an instant. The love, seeing his kind smile. The admiration, seeing his muscles. The crushes and rumored weekly love letters he received, seeing… him.
“Hi, Y/N. I’m Jungkook,” he says, gesturing towards himself as if you’d never seen him or heard of him. “I don’t know if you know me, I sit all the way in the back? With Taehyung and Jimin?”
“Hi, I know who you are, Jungkook,” you mumble.
“Oh, cool,” he says, still smiling. “I guess we’re together! For the assignment, I mean...”
“Yeah, I guess so. You don’t really have to worry about a thing, though. I can just send you an email later breaking down what each of us should do, or I can just do it all by myself, and we’ll-”
“Oh. No,” he says, quietly interrupting you. “I… can’t have that. I don’t think that’ll work.”
You felt whatever polite expression was on your face fade at that moment… What did he mean by ‘no’?
“I want to actually work on this… I want to work on it together… please.”
You had no idea what to think at that moment, only replaying his quiet, hushed ‘please’ over and over again as he stood beside you, fiddling with his earrings.
“Jungkook, I can take care of it. You really don’t have to…,” you start, but he interrupts you again, shaking his head and sitting down beside you in the now almost empty classroom.
“No, Y/N. I..,” he starts in a hushed tone. “I’m really falling behind in this class and we have the exam coming up…. It’s not just that, it all seems so interesting it’s just that my stupid brain can’t comprehend much of it.”
Jeon Jungkook? Falling behind? Admitting to an unknown fact? Call himself ‘stupid’? Sitting in front of you, he’d finally been looking at you, his wide eyes lowered since the moment he’d approached. It was eerie too see, a look behind the curtain into the life of your community’s local celebrity when you’d been nothing but just another spectator.
“Look, I always want to do things on my own too, so I get where you're coming from...” he continues, “…and that must mean you can try to understand how desperate I am here. It’s hard to ask for help, but… I need it. I’m not lazy, I promise. I need actual… help... please.”
So that’s why.
The shock faded away in an instant. If there was one thing you might've been known for at university, it would definitely have been your grades. Strangers came and went, looking for “the fat girl at the top of the class," as a couple of students kindly called you, never bothering to ask your name. They never got consideration back or even a glance in their direction, let alone your work when they dared to ask to copy it…. but… Jeon Jungkook asked for help. Not to copy the homework, get basic instructions, or an "in" with certain professors. But help. And for the chance to work on it together.
A refusal rested at the tip of your tongue, even then, but that quiet ‘please’ was still on a loop in your mind…
How could you say no?
“Okay..”
“Yes! Good! Great, okay,” Jungkook says enthusiastically. Did he always have a wife, bunny-toothed smile? It was adorable. “Can we meet at the library tomorrow?”
“…Sure, Jungkook.”
“Perfect. Get ready, Y/N. I have a lot of questions. Oh, wait, first of all - what was that song you were humming on your way out of class yesterday?”
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You suspected it would be the one study session to get Jungkook up to speed and lay out the work for the assignment. But the one session turned into two, which turned into three, and before you knew it, you and Jungkook would be meeting at the library every single day.
It was… overwhelming to say the least. The workload, definitely, as well as the added time spent teaching him but on top of that… the stares and whispers nearly set you off when other students, even his own friends, Taehyung and Jimin, would murmur ineligible words when they'd spot you together in the library. It didn't slip past you that it definitely must’ve been a weird sight, the Jeon Jungkook sitting next to a nobody like you... but when you were actually with him, the world around you faded away. All that mattered was the material you knew by heart and the boy who needed to learn it. And boy, did he need to.
After an hour of explaining the material to him one day, he’d continued to stare at you blankly. “Jungkook…. Are you even listening to me?” you resigned multiple times, realizing he had a tendency to space out at random points throughout the day. It was enough to almost tempt you to ghost him and just present him with a finished assignment or a detailed lesson plan.... but when he snapped out of it, he always hit you with an adorable, child-like pout and that irresistible plea: “Can you explain it to me again, please?”
So, you resisted the urge you felt before and after study sessions, to neglect him and stop the meetings altogether. In truth, you could’ve. Jungkook would do well enough to pass... but you couldn't accept him achieving the bare minimum. "I'm trying to steal your crown," he joked on day two, proving one of the many things you and everyone else had heard about Jeon Jungkook.
Finding out something new about Jungkook was to turn the page on the most fascinating book you'd ever read with limitless pages, for it seemed as though he and his talents could be described as such. It - he - was awe-inspiring, new, and enticing in the best of ways. And at times, it felt like it was only yours to hold, for you were the person discovering aspects to him, hardly believing it been you realizing it yourself, up close and personal.
He was definitely a competitive one, that, everyone knew - but you’d realized it went far beyond sports - aiming to rival you and fellow Dean's List candidate Kim Namjoon for the valedictorian spot despite admitting he'd still be behind if he tried his hardest, just thankful to have some worthy competitors. It proved that it was real ambition that Jungkook had in him. In contrast to the rumors that he never really cared about his studies, you saw just how clever and curious he'd been, in addition to his dedication in showing up every day, even when he didn't need to. He loved everything he did and never limited himself, whereas you’d been studying as much as you could in your field only to further advance in your comfort zone of academia. When you'd revealed this to him, he, ever the competitive one, expressed his jealousy at the stability ahead of you, helping ease the countless worries you'd had about your own future.
And, you’d discovered the fact that he’s, surprisingly for an artist and musician, more in his element when it came to logic, numbers, and science - with spreadsheets, calculations, and graphs just to keep track of your progress on the assignment, though he skewed the numbers to work on the assignment further. It frustrated him most as he struggles with words, essays, and theoretical concepts, which never made sense to you, considering he felt so much and made you feel so much in return. It was never stress or anger, even on the hardest of days - he had a surprisingly relaxed attitude for such an accomplished athlete. Rather, he expressed patience and envy when you'd been teaching him, and what got you most - his awe at the subject matter… even though he zoned out often. His eyes lit up whenever he started to understand something… you could swear you almost saw stars in his pupils whenever something evidently clicked inside his brain. And every time it did, every time you felt that damned butterfly in your stomach whenever he smiled… only to leave the study session to see daggers in your direction… you had to remind yourself - you were just here to help him.
He was Jeon Jungkook, for crying out loud. You were just another person who started to like him, as everyone does.
You had to remind yourself that his eyes were ordinary, brown eyes - no matter how big and starry they'd looked on certain nights. That though you’d gotten used to the way his soapy scent blended with that of the books around you, the familiarity of the books’ sweetness on its own was just as lovely. That people were looking. That he asked to study, not to get to know you. And that he had his pick of anyone he wanted in the entire university and beyond... there's no reason he'd want to spend time with you for longer than he had to and for more than you had been spending already. Your mental reminders only worked that hard when you had work to do.
For the first time in your life, you felt like a fool. For laughing at his every joke. For continuing to study with him and not putting an end to it the first time your heart fluttered. For not stopping the crush that you had on Jeon Jungkook. Though you felt like one, you never acted like a fool in front of him - at least, you didn’t think so, holding onto that paper-thin hope to at least ground you in some way. It was just as easy to remember that the sheer impossibility of anything happening, plus the actual studying, were at the forefront. It was hard to kill the butterflies, though. They returned every day, whenever you’d bounce off one another in explanation and conversation, drifting off-topic and sometimes getting personal, when he joked around and tried to convince you that university isn’t actually the end of the world… or even when you simply sat working together in comfortable silence.
That was exactly how it was on a regular Thursday afternoon. Tucked away in your corner of the library, you and Jungkook worked away peacefully when a student you’d never seen walked up to Jungkook. A regular occurrence, seeing as he was so popular.
“Hey, Kookie,” you hear, your eyes still fixated on your screen.
“Hey, Jia,” he replies. You can’t tell if he looked up at her or not. Did he? What did his eyes say? Fuck, why should you care?
“Hey, what… what are you doing?” she says with a giggle. If your peripheral sight was to be trusted, she placed her hand on his shoulder. You shouldn’t care, but resist a smile when he shoves it away. “You’re here every day, Jungkookie. Aren’t you bored? Like… what are you doing?”
“I’m working,” he replies.
“What about her?”
Glancing at her direction, you could see it on her - Jia's - face that she definitely didn’t know your name, and you knew the stares you got well enough to know the look on her face was one of confusion or, dare you say it, disgust. Jungkook's eyes flickered down from you, before returning to his notes.
“Y/N and I have that assignment together,” he replies, “the final project for Mr. P’s class before the exam.”
“Ohhhhhh,” she says, nodding in realization. “Okay, that makes sense then,” she giggles. “See you, Kookie. Call me if you want to have some fun tonight.”
To you, it was clear as day what she meant. That makes sense. In a way, she was right. It was the only possible way Jungkook would be sitting here, with you, every single day. He never would have - wouldn’t have even known you existed - if he hadn’t been paired with you. He made sense with girls like Jia - someone he’d have fun with rather than study with and beautiful in every way society wanted her to be, starting with her model-like body to compliment his built one. That made sense, you reminded yourself.
It must’ve been a good minute since you’d done anything on your computer, so focused on making sure the pesky insects in your stomach were dead, that you barely heard your name being called repeatedly until Jungkook waved his hand in front of your screen.
“HELLO?!”
“What?” you jolt, seeing his crouched head peeking to look at you.
“I was asking if you could throw this. The trash can is next to you.”
Jungkook hands you a piece of paper, unfolded, before sitting down and staring back at his screen, this time with his headphones on. You move to throw the paper out in a hurry, almost missing what was scribbled on it.
Jia’s name and phone number.
┅ ┅ ┅ ┅
Before you knew it, the deadline for the assignment arrived, and you and Jungkook were done. After a particularly long night at the library finalizing the paper, you uploaded the document and he hit the daunting blue button titled ‘submit’.
“YES!” Jungkook cheers from behind you, having looked over your shoulder to submit the paper together. With his head right beside yours with his arm planted on the desk in front of you, the veins you’d never noticed before on full display. Just when you realized it had been too close not to get panicked, he forces your chair to spin and face him, sticking his hand out for a high-five. “We did it!”
“We did,” you sigh, meeting his hand, pushing away the feeling of it in your mind.
“Why on Earth do you look sad?” Jungkook asks. “We should be celebrating! Let’s go get fried chicken!”
“Just thinking of the exam coming up and my other paper,” you half-lie.
How could you tell him you’re already mourning the time you spent together? He shouldn’t catch on, though…
“But I guess you’re right. It is a good thing that we’re done with it.” Really, it was. The delusional thoughts would cease. Might as well say goodbye. “It’s been fun… getting to do this and getting to know you, Jungkook.”
You reach out your hand for a high-five, as he had, but instead of going to meet it, he takes two steps back, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You think you’re getting rid of me that easily?” he questions, cocking his brow.
“What?!”
“You said it yourself. We have the exam coming up.”
“Jungkook, you should be fine. You aced that assignment.”
“No, absolutely not. I want… I need you. Your presence motivates me, and when I’m with you, I feel at ease…. with the material. It’s less scary.” It’s hard to ignore how wide Jungkook’s pupils had gotten as he fidgeted with his lip ring.
“Jungkook, Mr. P's exams are beasts unearthed from the very depths of hell. If I’m being completely honest, I can’t spend all my time teaching you," you say, speaking the truth.
“I’m not even asking for that. Just let me be near or around you. I’ll be quiet and ask minimal questions in the case of an emergency.”
Staring up at him, he had the same pleading and innocent expression on his face when he first approached you after you’d been assigned together. The time you spent together only confirmed that when he bit his lower lip and simultaneously arched his brows inwards and upwards… he was serious and pleading.
“I… might kick you out some days, Jungkook. When I need to focus extra hard.”
“Kick me out, then. Say the word, and I’m gone. And on the flip side, say the word, and I’m there - with anything you need. Like…. iced coffee! I know your order by now. Iced Vanilla Latte with an extra shot of espresso.”
Jungkook retraces his steps, standing right over you. It’s only when his hand reaches out do you realize your arm is upright, your unmet high-five still in the air. His hand meets yours softly, and without a single sound, fingers and palms perfectly aligned. His skin was calloused from his paintbrush and instruments, cushioned against your soft skin, his slender fingers towering over your wide ones… Pulling your hand down, your fingers get caught in his, which slightly curved towards you before your hand slips away.
Taking a deep breath, you notice Jungkook clear his throat. Suddenly, neither of you knew what to do with your hands, but he thinks fast, stuffing them in his pockets before finally looking back at you.
“So, deal?”
“Deal,” you yield, foolishly.
┅ ┅ ┅ ┅
Thank God you were smart as fuck.
Because though Jungkook kept true to his word, it turns out it was extremely hard to focus when your crush was doing one of two things - either quietly sitting beside you in all his glory (with no distractingly helpful responsibility of teaching him) or worse, when he was tending to you. There were the iced coffees, the water intake reminders, the extra highlighters, the space he gave you when he felt you needed it - even checking in with an “I’ll kick myself out for today” on a particularly stressful night before you knew you needed to do it yourself, for some alone time. You rarely wanted it anymore anyways. His questions and interruptions were few, always pleasant, of course, and never took up much of your time. It was worth it, seeing that proud smile of his when he now answered his own questions, just making sure from you that they were actually correct. The butterflies never stopped, especially considering he now sat beside you in the front corner of Mr. P’s lecture hall, abandoning Jimin and Taehyung on the other side of the room... The random, beautiful doodles he adorned your notebook with always made you smile harder whenever you studied - he was there even when he wasn’t.
“I knew you’d still be here,” Jungkook says, walking to your desk in the quiet library. Looking at the clock on your screen, you finally realize the time.
“What can I say?” you sigh. “What are you doing here, Jungkook? Isn't today Jimin's party, or whatever it was?”
“It was, and it might've been the dullest party Jimin ever threw. I know you cruelly rejected my invitation, but honestly... I don't blame you. It was the same old stuff and people and.. here's way more fun," he explained.
"Oh, come on," you reply, rolling your eyes. "Go back to the party, Jungkook. There's no way you think studying is more fun than even the most boring party at Jimin's."
"Hmmm... you're right. I still picked you instead because I missed you." The sentence escapes Jungkook's lips so quickly you didn't have a chance to realize what he'd said before he went on. "I wish you'd come... to give yourself a break. Knowing you'd be here, I decided to come and force you to rest. I also know that you haven’t eaten yet and that we still didn’t celebrate our assignment. We really should celebrate now, anyways.”
“What do you mean?”
“You didn’t check your email?”
You move to frantically get to your laptop before he blocks you. “No, you’re done for the day. Or at least, the hour - you didn't move all day, and I'm worried. Plus, your eyes are too tired. Should I get eye drops?”
“Jungkook... what score did we get?!”
“Only a 95%,” he shrugs, acting cool and uncaring before finally breaking into a wide smile. “We did it!”
A 95% was among the highest scores you’d ever gotten at university - a mark good enough to ensure you'd be the valedictorian instead of Kim Namjoon, who you’d been in competition with ever since freshman year. Not only that, 95% was a fast track that allowed you to possibly get your work published. Shrieking, you jump up from your chair and into Jungkook’s open arms. Realizing your position in the rush of it all, with your head on his shoulder, his tucked into the crook of your neck, and his hands wrapped around your plush waist… your heart only raced faster, which you didn’t think was possible. You quickly unravel your arms from around his back, and it takes a second longer for him to do the same.
You just hugged Jeon Jungkook. Why was he red? Probably ashamed, wondering if anyone saw him hug you.
“I never thought I'd... hear you scream in the library," he laughs, turning to a paper bag he'd placed on the table when he arrived. "I brought that fried chicken to celebrate. Let’s sit a while. You still need a break from all the screens.”
“I’d love to, but I can’t… eat here.”
“Why not?”
“There are some students around. You, too.”
“So? No one will mind the smell of fried chicken. That couple over there is eating it, too.”
"No, it’s…." you sigh, feeling as though you’re finally exposing some sort of unknown truth to Jungkook, despite the fact that he could obviously see you. "It’ll only make people judge me more. Stare at me more. For eating something like this in public. It’s like I…shouldn’t… with everything I’ve got going on. Like… it’s shameful?”
“But there’s nothing to be ashamed about. Nothing at all.” Jungkook looked just as confused as he’d been when he didn’t understand something in the lesson plan, but suddenly, it shifted to his ‘got it’ state. When he finally knew what to do. “Fuck it. Fuck everyone. Sit. Let’s eat. If anyone dares to look at you…. or, God forbid, say anything... You know I'm on the university's wrestling team, right?"
You nod and laugh because everyone knew, but he goes on. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure the whole university does, so I'd like to see some punk try anything."
He goes silent, shaking his head as he unloads the bag he brought and encouraging you to eat until he'd already finished half the bucket. Hesitantly, you grab a drumstick before finally taking a bite with your eyes fixated on Jungkook the entire time. You’d have avoided his gaze, even turned away, but with his raised brows and a closed-mouth smile, desperately awaiting your review… you knew you had to give him an answer fast, and you do so after the very first bite, shooting him a thumbs up. It was really good - sweet, sour, and spicy all at once. With your second bite and his proud smile, you recall another rumor you’d heard about Jungkook long ago. That he went on a tour of all the fried chicken spots in the city to find the best one. Asking him about it, you didn’t expect to find out that not only was it true, but it was also a life-long, worldwide mission of his - “Forget all the shit I’m talented at, this is my life’s purpose,” he proclaimed, saying that the chicken he'd brought had been his favorite so far. "And I wouldn't get you anything less than the best I’ve found, darling."
You felt your face flush, knowing Jungkook must've called you that jokingly. Still, the pet name sent your mind into overdrive, more than the studying did, as you fed your delusions for a little while. Darling.
You could've sworn you were actually living in your delusions later that night when he dropped you home for the very first time. The conversation never stopped, even until you were standing by your apartment building. "Still gonna study?" he asked, staring at your door.
"Maybe," you replied, knowing you'd be too delusional to do so, and if you tried, you would only end up staring at the words and cursing Jungkook for being too perfect and making you this way.
"Well, do you want to eat ramyeon now?” he’d said with a giggle. Catching you off guard, you nearly choked on air at the double entendre coming from him, but rolled your eyes and answered with a simple “Yes” instead, only for his smile to fade quickly.
Your fat ass should not be making jokes like that when you knew damn well you wouldn’t have shot. Especially not after dinner.
"I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Jungkook," you hurriedly say, attempting to dash inside, only for your jacket to get caught on the way in. Looking down, you realize it hadn't been the knob that stopped it but rather Jungkook's fingers, clutching onto the fabric before letting it slip away. "Sorry. Goodnight."
┅ ┅ ┅ ┅
The moment kept replaying in your head, buried in your hands on the desk, agonizing over the humiliation as a break from agonizing over the workload. You had time to agonize today, Jungkook wasn’t there yet. If he saw you like that, he’d nudge you to get out of it.
“Hello?”
Jolted by the sudden voice of a woman, you look up to see Jia. “Hi,” you say, too awkwardly even for you. “Can I help you with something? Jungkook’s not here if you’re looking for him.”
“I can see that,” she scoffs. “I came to talk to you.” In all this time, your first run-in with her had been your only semblance of interaction, though you hadn't ever spoken to each other.
“Oh… Why?”
“What’s going on… between the two of you?”
“Me and... Jungkook? He told you, we had that assignment together….”
“That’s done,” she snaps.
“And now I’m just helping out with his studies.”
“Then why did Nani see him drop you home?”
“We’re… friends, Jia,” you mutter. You’d never called Jungkook that before, a friend, but you can’t help but think it’s fitting to do so... It fit, didn’t it? Weren’t you… friends? At the very least? Or...
“We’re classmates,” you quickly add.
“Friends - that's the funniest shit I've heard. His actual friends, Jimin and Taehyung refuse to tell me anything when he left that party. They were probably concerned and unsettled by it all…. I mean, everyone here can see how much you gush over him, you know? It’s embarrassing. I don’t know how he doesn’t see it and steer clear - especially since you should come with a cattle crossing sign, seriously.”
Was it that obvious?
“We all know he's just using you for that piece of meat between your ears until the exam's over. He's not an idiot, you know? Don’t get carried away thinking anyone outside your league would be interested in you.”
An emptiness grew with the uncovering of a deep fear of yours. Of course. Of course, he was still using you, you idiot... It was just the help he needed. Neither of you could have gotten the 95% on your own... He said he needed the help... the mark... She was right. He wasn't an idiot... but wasn't the Jungkook you knew too kind to use someone like that?
It was then that your phone, lying on the desk, lit up with a message, clear as day for the both of you to read.
[from: jungkook] “i’m on my way to you rn. brought kimbap!! hope you like it. made it myself :) ”
“Pft. He knows how to keep a fat girl on his hook. You fucking whale.”
You fucking fool.
“Heyooooooo!” you hear from a short distance in that familiar singsong voice that tugged at your heartstrings. Jungkook turned a corner and finally appeared from between the shelves. “Kimbap! Wait, what the fuck is wrong?”
Shit. You hadn’t realized tears were streaming down your face. As if you could be any more humiliated. Not even able to glance his way, despite him repeating the question over and over again, mere steps away from you, you stuff your things into your bag and rush out.
The last thing you catch is Jia’s scoff.
┅ ┅ ┅ ┅
Suddenly, avoiding Jungkook was easy. That urge you had long ago, the one in line with you, Jungkook, and the ways of the world…. Your two different worlds.
He’d chased you, easily getting to you and stopping you. Repeating his question again.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you had let out, staring at the ground. You couldn’t talk if you wanted to.
“Are you kidding? What is it? Tell me…” he says quietly, putting his hands on your shoulders. You shake them off in an instant, walking away, only for him to follow close behind. “What is it? You’re not okay.”
“It’s… stress.”
“Bullshit - I’ve obviously seen you stressed. This isn’t it. I’ve never seen-”
“Jungkook, I’m kicking you out. Keep your word that you’ll stay out,” you snap, finally turning to look at him in the crowded library. If he’d never seen you this way, you’d never seen him that way either. Hurt. You can’t see why. He got what he wanted out of you, plus you’d told him you’d kick him out….
If only it was easy to keep him out. Jungkook had always listened when it came to the material, but it was as if he never knew how to in any other regard. His texts and calls over the weekend went ignored until you finally mustered up the courage to block him. You thought that would be that - Jungkook would go back to his world, and you’d go back to yours - but on your first day back, you find him sitting on the floor at the door to the library at the crack of dawn.
You’d specifically gone that early to avoid Jungkook - who always showed up during the late afternoons or evenings after having just woken up then on his off days. Yet here he was, sitting cross-legged by the glass door you’d walked into together countless times, glancing at the handful of other students with exams and deadlines as they walked in, out, and around him. Even from a distance away, you could see how wide his doe-eyes were. And he jumps up the moment he spots you slowly approaching the door.
“How’d you know I’d be here?” you ask quietly, trying to avoid his gaze.
“You say that as if you don't practically live in the library," he says, almost amused. "If you mean how I knew you'd be here so early - I took a chance. I would’ve waited all day until I saw you… All week, if that's what it took. And I probably would've convinced Mr. P to include a note with your exam sheet if you decided you disliked me until then.”
….Shit. Sure, you’d never end up with him, but he only fidgeted with the loose strings on his hoodie when he was really stressed - a sight you'd only seen once after a supposed tough day at wrestling practice. Now, they'd been undone with a hole at the bottom of the thick fabric. Knowing you caused it...
“I’m sorry, Jungkook. I shouldn’t have…”
“Yeah. You shouldn’t have,” he grumbles before shaking his head. “No, you don’t... You don’t owe me anything. You don’t owe me your time… I should’ve stayed “out” like I promised, but… I just want to know if you were okay.”
“I am,” you barely let out. With tears bubbling in your eyes, you walk into the library.
“I don’t believe it,” he says, trailing you.
“I kicked you out remember. Stay out. Why do you even care?!" you say, without turning back.
“I care about you!”
When you finally stop to stare at him, Jungkook doesn't allow you to deny him, immediately grabbing your hand and pulling you deep into the library, through the twisty, student-filled desks, between sky-high bookshelves.
“Y/N, I want you to be okay. You don’t owe me an explanation if you don’t want to tell me anything, but… that's all I want. For you to be okay and happy and... you can't lie to me and tell me that you're alright. You can kick me out as much as you want to, I promised I would let you do so, but I'll always be waiting for you right outside that door. If you'll allow me to... I'll always be here for you."
The tears come pouring out, and without a thought, you rush into him, sobbing into his chest. “Hey, hey,” he says, a hand in your hair and the other soothing your back. "I’m here. I told you I'm here.” You missed his embrace. Had assumed you’d never feel it again. You probably won’t, past this point.
“It’s okay,” he whispers, with his arms wrapped firmly around your waist as you stare up at him. “Is it the stress?”
“No, Jungkook…. It’s.. you.”
“Me?!” he says, gesturing towards himself.
“Well, no, actually… I guess it’s me,” you mumble, staring at his hands, now at his sides.
“I don’t understand, Y/N.”
“Jungkook, we need to stop these study sessions. Not for a week but… I’m permanently kicking you out, and I don't know if I have it in me to ever unlock that stupid metaphorical door again.”
“Exile, huh?" To your surprise, he nods. "At least let me know this… Am I that annoying?”
Out of desperation, you almost say yes, but you’ve been cruel enough - Jungkook didn’t deserve any of it.
“No. No, not at all…”
He pauses. “I don't understand, but if this will make you happier, all I can say in this case is… thank you. I don't about my grades as much as you do, so I'm really just thank you for all this time. I…. I liked…. I liked spending this time... spending this time with you,” Jungkook lets out, his voice breaking.
Looking up at him, you see his eyes red. Was he about to cry too?
“It won’t,” you mumble.
“What?” he asks, looking down at you as if he were looking up, teary-eyed and innocent.
You either tell him, or tell him nothing and risk…. other people telling him, along with their own added commentary on how you weren’t good enough. It would be easier just to let that happen... Letting go of him yourself, despite the pain, would be more merciful on you both. So, you do, breaking away from his embrace.
“It won’t make me happier if we stopped.”
“Then do we have to?”
“We do… Jungkook, we need to stop because… for the first time in my life... I’ve set myself up for failure.”
“You’re the smartest person in the entire university. How on Earth did you set yourself up to fail?”
"Because I did it by stupidly falling for the best person in this entire university. I... like you, Jungkook," you spit out, hiding your face in your hands as soon as the confession leaves your lips.
“How is that setting yourself up for failure?” he sniffs.
You can’t help but notice a shift in his tone as he pulls your hands away from your face and tilts your chin towards him. He looked as serious as he sounded.
“Jungkook, be real.”
He stares at you, confused.
“You’re.... a star. Everyone here knows who you are - you're the best in every field imaginable - sports, art, music, academia, and on top of all of that, you're the sweetest, kindest, smartest - fucking best person I, well, everyone knows. And... look at you and look at me. I make sense of everything in this world, and this doesn’t make sense. Everyone knows it. They already give us weird looks for even sitting together. I know you just needed help, and I was happy to offer it, but I thought I'd be smarter than this. I think you probably offered to be there for me as a friend. I think we're friends, right? Either way, I think I've been an idiot for even thinking of you in that-"
Jungkook's lips meet yours, interrupting your ramble, train of thought, and your breathing with a kiss.
“You think too much," he whispers against your lips, stroking your soft cheek with the back of his index finger. "That’s exactly why you haven’t been setting yourself up for failure, genius. I like you too.”
“No.... Stop," you say, taking two steps away from him. "Jungkook, you're being mean."
"Mean?!"
It had to have been a prank. Jungkook being so committed onto getting a good grade, once again.
"You can't use me like this. And what, you'll ghost me after the exam? After all the help? Pretend I never existed?"
"Do you really think I'd do that?" he asks, letting out a huff with his eyebrows furrowed. You'd never seen Jungkook.... angry. "If I weren't so goddamn in love with you, I'd give up right here and now. I'd be ashamed rather than being even more hurt than I was, Y/N." Taking a deep breath, Jungkook collects himself. "I wouldn't spend a semester with you if that was the case. I don't know why you'd think... that."
"It doesn't make sense, Jungkook...."
“it makes sense to me,” he says, stepping towards you until he was inches away, you could almost feel the heat radiating from his chest. “Why does it not make sense to you? You’re clever, aren't you? What’s that theory - every action has an equal and opposite reaction? You like me and I like you. Equal. Two-ways. Makes perfect sense to me.”
“So… you aren’t just using me for help?” you ask. "You... like me?"
“No, no, I’m not using you for your brain…." he says snarkily before tapping his forehead against yours and letting out a smug laugh. "In fact, I think you’ve been pretty stupid.”
“Stupid?!”
“I said pretty stupid. And by that, I mean pretty, but also pretty... kind of stupid. You’re smarter than this, usually…." Jungkook envelops his arms around your waist once again, trapping you.
"Y/N, now I want you to think for a second… Did I really need all that help I asked for? Did I really make it onto the Dean's List when I was supposedly doing that badly? Did I really not understand? Did I really need to sit beside you while we both worked? I’ll let you in on a secret… sometimes I used to finish up my work before you and just played mini-games on the computer.”
You sniff.
“Sure, you helped me a little bit, but it was... heaven getting you to explain things to me, especially the things I already knew. It meant I could just spend my time staring at you, getting all passionate and excited. Do you know how wide you smile when I act like I 'get it'? Or whenever I actually do. It's why I keep asking you to repeat it - I can never retain any of the new information because all my brain wants to focus on is you.
For God's sake, ask Taehyung and Jimin. Ask them how much I talk about you. Did you ever actually listen to what they say when they specifically see us together in here?"
"I assumed they were making fun of you," you mumble.
Jungkook scoffs. "Yeah, no, Y/N. They tease me for having the guts to fight but not to confess, they kept trying to pressure me to do so."
It's hard to remember that Jungkook was a trained fighter when his embrace felt so safe, you think, staring at his torso in disbelief.
"Still don't believe me? Ask Mr. P how we got assigned together for that paper.”
The sentence stuns you to your core, jerking your head up to face him.
“I never needed that much help. I just… I wanted to spend time with the girl I'd had a crush on since I got here and didn’t know how to. I like you…. I always have…. idiot,” he says, pulling you closer to him until his lips meet yours in another kiss.
Just this once, you were euphoric to be so stupid.
requested by @gyukult (7 + soulmates au) for my milestone celebration !!
pairing ; soulmate!san x reader (gender-neutral) ft. neighbor!seonghwa
summary ; in which your soulmate moves in with the neighbor you have a crush on.
themes ; angst, slight fluff, soulmates au, neighbors au
words ; 3.6k
warnings / includes ; cursing, implications of losing a loved one, general sadness, happy ending :D, reader is a lonely hermit, san is a loser but he's a cute loser, seonghwa is the best friend everyone needs, mint chocolate ice cream debacles
a/n ; gah i'm sorry i took so long with this and ,, it's not my best work but </3 at least we get dorky san !!! i hope you like it gyu cries sorry i couldn't make oc more like you WKJKDJF i rlly tried ;-;
masterlist.
There was nary a moment in your life that you ever recalled wishing ill to your soulmate. Sure, the crude words imprinted across the inside of your wrist were less than savory to read, but you would never go so far as to hope they’d step on a lego or anything just as malicious. Although, taping your wrist to obstruct the offending phrase from the rest of society’s view admittedly grew to be an annoyance. I’m going to shove a stick so far up your ass your eyes fall out was what it read. You could only hope that it wasn't directed towards you.
Today, however, your clean track of ill wishes was no longer the squeaky crystal slate it once was. You were thinking anything but positive thoughts for your soulmate, mentally cursing them to oblivion.
“Oh… you have a soulmate? Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Seonghwa, your cute neighbor that you’ve very much been harboring not-so-subtle feelings for, tilted his head to the side upon seeing the dark marks etched in your skin. Up until now, you were sure he reciprocated your interest, but he made it abundantly clear he wouldn’t want to be involved with anybody with a soulmate brand. Messing with the sticky webs of fate wasn’t a part of his life agenda, it seemed.
Curse destiny. You didn’t even really want a soulmate.
Heat flourished over the apples of your cheeks, a blazing inferno crawling through your skin. You quickly moved your wrist behind you so that he wouldn’t be able to read what it said. The situation was already embarrassing enough as it is.
“Never came up,” you answered lamely, knowing that was a pathetic attempt to lie because you and Seonghwa have broached the topic of soulmates several times. Waving your other hand in a limp, dejected fashion, you offered him a meek slant of your lips. “Sorry.” There goes the one chance of romance you’ve had in longer than a year.
Before your neighbor could respond, the sudden loud clamoring and shouts emitting from his house’s direction had both of your heads swivelling to the white picket fence separating your lawns.
An unfamiliar handsome man stood on Seonghwa’s side, cropped-short raven hair glistening with sweat, as was his very shirtless chest. Anger splayed across his sharp features as he glared at your neighbor with the intensity of a dozen suns, and you couldn’t help but skeptically wonder just what Seonghwa did to him. You directed a questioning glance towards your ex-crush, who heaved out a sigh and pinched the space between his brows.
“I’m going to shove a stick so far up your ass your eyes fall out!” he shrieked in a particularly high register, flailing a clenched fist about in the air.
Your heart dropped to the floor.
What did he just say?
Incredulous, your pupils flickered down to the words on your wrist. The same words stared back at you, bold and unchanging. You blinked once, then twice. A third time for good measure.
Oh, shit.
“Did you throw away all my fucking mint chocolate chip ice cream? You asshole!” The mystery man continued to wildly babble on, carding a hand through his short tresses. He hadn’t even noticed you were there, an angry gaze fixated on your sheepish neighbor.
Your soulmate liked mint chocolate chip ice cream. What were you to do with this information?
“It was expired,” Seonghwa replied in a haughtily defensive tone.
“I bought it yesterday?!”
With an amused chortle, the man beside you turned back to fix you with a pointed gaze, momentarily glimpsing back down to your wrist, but his irises were quick to return back to your face. “I guess I have to head back before San’s head explodes. I can’t stand mint choco ice cream.”
Your soulmate’s name is San. An uneasy lump formed in the back of your throat.
Before Seonghwa could step down from your porch, you blurted out, breathless, “Who is he?” Was that the thunder of your pulse roaring in your ears or was it about to rain?
Those pretty lips of his puckered to the side as he replied, “A friend of mine. Also known as my new roommate. Might not be for much longer, though. I can’t seem to peacefully listen to ASMR when he’s just in the other room, screaming at Yunho in minecraft.”
Your soulmate plays minecraft. You would’ve found the thought amusing if it weren’t for such a heavy revelation prowling rampant in your cavernous thoughts.
A fake smile crept across your lips as you waved Seonghwa farewell. It wasn’t hard to notice the way San’s blistering stare bore into you as you dawdled on your porch. He lifted a hand to wave at you, questionably enlivened for someone who had just been yelling obscenities two seconds ago. You didn’t wave back.
Your soulmate was living next door to you with your ex crush. With a disdained sniff, you shoved your hands into the pockets of your frayed jeans; whether it was because the wind was whispering chills into your bones or because you didn’t want to risk catching sight of the foul words embedded into your skin, you couldn’t tell. The door slammed none too gently behind you.
It was a gloomy Sunday when Seonghwa invited you over for dinner.
As reluctant as you were to go, you eventually caved in at the prospect of free food. The door swung open as he greeted you with a neighborly grin, stepping to the side to allow you into his home.
Your eyes swept over the living room, warm tones of amber and beige accentuating his otherwise pale living room. If not for the candles casting an earthly glow throughout the room, the dark skies would’ve made for quite the macabre atmosphere. Seonghwa, ever the gentleman, offered to hang your coat up for you, and you had to shove away the incessant fluttering feeling within your abdomen, pointedly avoiding his gaze.
“Hope you don’t mind. I ordered pasta for dinner.”
“That’s fine with me,” came your off-hand reply. Your line of sight traced the pictures hung up on the wall, most of them bearing Seonghwa in various stages of his life. It felt as if someone had stuck a lighter beneath your heart when your eyes landed on an unfamiliar picture, looking exactly like a mini version of San.
Your soulmate.
You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t lost sleep mulling over that man. Someone you barely even knew, embedded his words into your skin and inked your wretched fate into a system that you didn’t even trust. It was safe to say that your mind had swiftly tricked you into disliking a man before he’s even uttered a word towards you.
“San!” Seonghwa leaned against the staircase’s bannister, as he hollered out, “Come have dinner!”
Several thuds thundered from above, which you presumed to be his none-too-delicate footsteps. It felt as if a boot had landed against your ribs, knocking all the air from your lungs once he came bounding down, a loose beam twisting his lips. He was quite the striking man, even that you couldn’t deny. A fitted long-sleeved shirt hung off his broad shoulders, and short strands of his hair were styled in an upwards sweep.
“Hi! I’m San. You must be Y/N, right? Sorry for what you saw the other night. I got a little…” With a bashful flush, he gestured to his head whilst whistling a high-pitched arc in an indication of his slip in temperament that fateful evening. You merely arched an eyebrow in response, nodding stoically in acknowledgement.
He seemed taken aback with your reaction, or lack thereof, smile fading into a ghostly purse. Finding even the thinnest shrapnel of guilt within you proved to be a difficult feat. You, quite frankly, wanted nothing to do with this man. Fate had no right telling you who you belonged with.
The heavy atmosphere lingered and festered until Seonghwa clapped his hand once, pointing to the dining room and ushering the both of you to take your seats.
Silence was merely the noise of the unheard, you came to realize when you took your seat. So many voices, yet so quiet the room. It was painfully obvious how Seonghwa eyed you warily, as if he wanted to ask you about your soulmate. Who is he? What does your tattoo say? Why didn’t you tell me?
Instead, your neighbor conjured an elaborate anecdote involving an empty wine bottle and burnt pancakes and irritated firefighters. You huffed out a wisp of a laugh, but said nothing in reply, merely twirling your fork and downing the free dinner in a wolvish manner. The quicker you ate, the quicker you’d be out of here.
The mere prospect of speaking in front of your soulmate left a bitter taste in the back of your throat. Perhaps if you just never spoke, the topic would never be broached.
San was also uncharacteristically mute, pathetically staring into his spaghetti to avoid your gaze. If you hadn’t known any better, it seemed your soulmate was scared of you. Your thoughts only confirmed themselves when you reached over the table for salt, and he flinched away, so much so that his fork stumbled from his grip and clattered to the floor, crimson spidering through his face as he flushed deeply.
The softest mumble fell past his barely-opened lips, “Sorry.”
“Don’t use the same fork, that one’s dirty,” Seonghwa gently scolded while plucking the utensil out of his roommate’s hand. “I’ll get you a new one, hang on.”
As he disappeared behind the kitchen, you turned to San. The blush was still there, stark and prominent. You didn’t even realize you were grinning like a lunatic until the man across from you leaned his elbows onto the table and queried in a reticent tone, “Why are you smiling? Is there something on my face?”
“I like that you’re afraid of me,” you said before thinking twice. Now was quite possibly the least appropriate time to joke around. You knew better than to play a game of cat and mouse with your soulmate you really wanted nothing to do with.
The ambience suddenly turned icy, and time frosted still. San was visibly shocked, nose twitching as his mouth fell agape. He struggled for words, lips trembling.
So much for having a civil dinner. Just what have you done?
“What did you say?”
Was it just the dim lighting, or were his eyes suddenly glassy?
“I…” You paused to study the intricate furrow of his brows, the firm setting of his jaw. “Nothing.”
San drew himself backwards at this, exasperation lacing his visage. “No, it’s not nothing.” The chair scraped loudly against the floor as he stood abruptly, hurriedly bunching his left shirt sleeve up to his elbow and thrusting the appendage towards you. Recoiling, you made the mistake of reading the words depicted across his inner wrist. You knew it to be true, but seeing it physically made it far too real, too close, too sudden. “Those are the first words I’ve heard you say. Are you my soulmate?”
You wanted to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the brazen question.
The door swung open and Seonghwa sauntered back in, merry with obliviousness, a handful of glinting forks in his palm. “Sorry I took so long, I wanted to polish these off before anybody used them. Usually I would’ve done it beforehand, but—” The words caught in his throat as he looked away from the now-shiny cutlery to the strange situation at hand. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” you said abruptly, standing up as well.
“You’re not saying no,” San bristled. “What does your tattoo say? It’s something I’ve said, isn’t it?”
From the corner of your eye, you could see Seonghwa’s gaze flit back and forth between the two of you in both befuddlement and mild annoyance. All he really wanted was a simple dinner with his neighbor.
“That’s none of your business,” you uttered hotly, pressing your wrist close to your chest protectively. “I don’t know you.”
Regret flashed in your soulmate’s eyes. He retracted his arm and it fell limply by his side. “Wouldn’t you like to?”
It was as if you could pinpoint the exact moment you broke his heart when you whispered out with the pain of swallowing glass shards, “No.”
The slightest flower of understanding blossomed across Seonghwa’s visage, the revelation leaving him stunned speechless.
“I’m sorry,” you said, backing away from the table, away from San. “Thanks for the dinner Seonghwa.”
The two men remained as silent as skeletons when you ambled towards the door and hurried back home.
Lounging about in sweatpants and buckets of saccharine ice cream condensating on your lap was supposed to be a fun activity. The little blue tub you were clutching onto seemed to now be your only source of comfort.
Take it upon your ex-crush to ruin that for you.
The doorbell ringing jolted you out of your mindless haze, and you nimbly placed the ice cream on the coffee table, hurrying to answer the door. You probably looked like the embodiment of hell, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.
Seonghwa’s almost shy smile made you reluctant to be angry at him. How could you, when he was so sweet to you? A part of you wondered if the two of you would’ve been together in another universe where you didn’t have the damned soulmate mark.
“Are you okay?” were the first words he asked you, eyes shiny and round. If he noticed your haggard semblance, he didn’t comment on it.
“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Okay would be stretching it.”
It surprised you when he spread his arms out, beckoning to you with a tilt of his head.
“I don’t need a hug.”
“Then I’ll drop my arms and walk away. Your call.”
With a horridly exaggerated roll of your eyes, you planted yourself forward and wrapped your arms around Seonghwa’s midriff. He smelled nice, like comfort and home with the faintest hint of vanilla. The two of you stayed like that for just a minute, before he craned his head downwards to peer at you. “Thank you,” you susurrated into the soft fabric of his white hoodie. Seonghwa merely hummed in reply.
“It’s not fair, you know,” it scared you just how raw your voice sounded, laced with fatigue and bone-weariness, “some people don’t even get one soulmate. Like you. But I already had one. Before… before San. And… and when they disappeared… my tattoo disappeared along with them. Then one morning, out of the blue, I woke up to a new soulmate mark. I thought it was impossible. Felt like fate was taking pity on me. I don’t want some cheap rebound destiny thrusted into my arms.”
One thing you admired so much about Seonghwa was his ability to glue back even the most shattered. It occurred to you that perhaps you never really had true feelings for him, but you just wanted to feel whole again, however selfish that was.
His touch was soft as he flattened his palms over your shoulders. “I’m sorry that happened to you. I heard losing a soulmate is like losing a part of yourself.”
You nodded.
“I think you should talk to San.” The exasperated glare you cast his way had him grimacing. “Not now, of course. When you’re ready.”
A huff of a sigh slipped out of your lungs, and you hunched over slightly, screwing your eyes shut. Would you ever be ready?
“He’s a big romantic, you know. Been dreaming about meeting his soulmate his whole life. Said he was so lucky to have one. I’m not saying you should… you know… be his soulmate, per se, but that brand on your wrist shouldn’t stop you from being friends.” Seonghwa regarded you with a wary look, speaking carefully, worried that he’s overstepped any boundaries.
You, being friends with San? A part of you internally scoffed, but the other part craved for bridging the gap that you’ve so desperately tried to create.
“Okay.”
A magnificent smile graced Seonghwa’s lips. “Yeah?”
The faintest of grins touched yours as well. Your neighbor always had a way of making you feel better. “Yeah.”
It took you around a week and far too many tubs of ice cream to muster the courage to speak to your soulmate. The wood felt cool beneath your knuckles as you rapped three times on his door, in tandem with the quick thumping of your heart.
“Y/N?” San’s voice sounded groggy, as if you had just jostled him out of slumber. Along with his rumpled thin shirt and slackened grey sweats, his hair stuck up every which way, and you found it kinda cute how he hid a yawn behind a fist and blinked at you blearily. “What’re you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk.”
“Sounds serious,” he commented behind sleepy yawn. “You wanna come in?”
The door parted enough for you to slide through. You avoided his gaze, instead peering around the cluttered room. There were plushies strewn everywhere, posters of several marvel movies plastered along the walls, a bookshelf of thriller novels set off to the side, and a large gaming console set up in the corner of the room. It was all so San that you couldn’t help but laugh slightly at his stiff figure in the doorway.
Your soulmate was a nerd.
“If I knew you were coming, I would’ve cleaned up more,” he said off-handedly while picking up the soft plushies on the floor.
“No, it’s nice.” You waved your hands in dismissal. “I like Iron Man too.”
San smiled just slightly at that, but it was quick to fade. “So, uhm, what did you want to talk about?”
Your eyes finally met with his and you exhaled a deep breath. “I… I wanted to apologize. I really shouldn’t have blown up at you like that. It was rude and inconsiderate and… I’m so sorry. This probably wasn’t how you envisioned meeting your soulmate, huh?”
A loose chuckle left San and he shook his head, “Thought there’d be a lot more screams of joy instead of angry yelling. I’m also sorry for being so forward.”
You winced at that, but dipped your head in acknowledgement of his apology.
After a gentle beat of silence, you moved to roll your sleeve up just enough to show him your tattoo. You thought he deserved to see.
“I’m going to shove a stick so far… Oh my fucking God, I’m so sorry,” San cupped his hands over his mouth in horror, ogling at you with an air of trepidation. “I can’t believe that’s been on your wrist for this long, I’m so sorry.”
His panic made you snort in laughter. “It’s not that bad, really. Way funnier than my last brand.”
The atmosphere froze over once more, and San rounded on you with a curious look. “You had another soulmate?”
“I did.” You shrugged. “They’re gone now.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright.”
Gulping, San scratched the back of his neck before uttering, “Well, for what it’s worth, I accept your apology. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I’m happy just being your neighbor.”
“And how about friends?” The question surprised the both of you.
The beam that your soulmate directed towards you had a strange feeling you unmistakably knew as fondness blossoming within your ribcage.
“I’d like that,” San replied, the corners of his eyes creasing with how widely he was smiling. Then, he gestured to his laptop with an air of excitement. “If you aren’t busy or anything, you wanna play a video game? Maybe watch a movie?”
Too forward, you thought, slightly bemused. Jesus, being friends with him is going to be exhausting.
“Sure,” you found yourself saying. “What’re we playing?”
The rest of the afternoon consisted of playful quips and jovial teasing (because you absolutely destroyed San’s ego), the lively music of the video game he picked blaring through his speakers. At one point, Seonghwa even came in telling the two of you to keep it down, though neither of you took him seriously because he was grinning quite fondly at the both of you.
Soft pattering of rain hitting the rooftop a little after didn’t go unnoticed by you, and your pupils flitted from the luminescent screen to his window, observing the dark clouds weeping in the sky.
“Here, wear this if it gets too cold.” San twisted in his chair to blindly grab a dark hoodie hanging off his bed, refusing to tear his eyes away from the screen. “Don’t want you catching a cold in this weather.”
What a loser. He’s way too nice, you thought, but gratefully took the thick fabric nonetheless. To distract yourself, you slipped the warm cotton over your head, burying your nose in its collar. It smelled just like him, a concoction of sweet mint and something warm and raw, purely San. A part of you was alarmed at just how much you relished the scent.
The heartbreakingly handsome smile he shot your way had your heart stuttering out obscenities. It was quickly followed by a shout of protest when you picked up the console and proceeded to shoot at his character with a challenging cackle.
Healing was a slow, tedious process. Healing took time, far too much time. You knew that firsthand. Healing was an internal war that you fought with yourself every day, a battle of bones and hearts and pain, so much pain. Healing meant ripping yourself apart before glue was even in the picture. And despite all this, you were happy that you now had San to hold your pieces together while your tears dried.
areudirty
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