INVADER, LOYAL.

YEAH     ...     BUT     I'M     OKAY     NOW     !

[hobothirteen-blog]

hello  100+  followers  that  i  didn’t  have  when  i  was  last  here,

[hobothirteen-blog]

gir,  uh  ...  thanks  ...

“aww, you look sad,” gir observes; lightly, but there’s still an ATTEMPT at sympathy for — what was his name again? smoog? smudge? schmook? there isn’t enough CAPACITY for thought to allow gir to muse long enough to properly remember the invader’s name, as his attention has already gone to the food DRIPPING from his hands. then, to an idea — involving sgloog! a rare instance of connecting thoughts !!

“here, you can have my nachos !!” he offers them cheerfully ( and loudly ), holding them out to the irken — although, it’s more cheese than nacho. in fact, it’s basically a GLOB of cheese in gir’s bare hands with some chips sticking out.

jeez,  is  it  really  so  obvious  that  a  busted  sir  unit  can  tell?  at  least  zim  will  never  pick  up  on  how  he’s  feeling.  skoodge  may  not  be  quite  as  disgusted  by  gir’s  antics  as  the  robot’s  invader  counterpart,  but  ...  he’s  still  a  pretty  gross  machine.  fortunately  (  unfortunately?  )  skoodge  is  too  much  of  a  pushover  to  say  as  much,  &  he  awkwardly  accepts  the  so  called  nachos.  he’s  never  been  so  grateful  for  the  gloves  that  come  with  his  uniform.

❝  thank  you,  gir.  ❞  everyone  seems  to  forget  his  name,  but  how  could  he  forget  anything  about  such  a  quirky  robot?  skoodge  forlornly  eats  one  of  the  soggy  chips  &  hopes  he  doesn’t  die  or  something  because  of  it  ...  actually,  scratch  that  thought,  because  he  doesn’t  care  either  way.  now,  knowing  zim’s  sir  unit  ...  ❝  are  you  sure  you  don’t  want  them  back?  ❞

[hobothirteen-blog]

sir  unit,  tak’s.

Hmph. She honestly thought the first question was because he knew she was lost.

“̀..͟.Ca̕n't̡-̛f͞i͜n͝d-Ta͞k.” It wasn’t like she wanted to be here by herself, but life happened. "Wh͘y̵ ąr̀e you h̕e̷r̶e ̛by yo͠ur̷s̀e͡l̡f?͞" After all, if a SIR Unit wasn’t supposed to be without an Irken, then an Irken wasn’t supposed to be without a Unit, right?

so,  she  really  is  lost  ...  skoodge  simply  hadn’t  wanted  to  assume  so  much  without  asking  first.  her  question  seems  to  depress  him  for  a  moment,  if  only  because  the  implications  of  it  are  so  obvious.  ❝  i  don’t  have  a  sir  unit.  ❞  the  tallests  sent  him  off  to  die,  plain  &  simple.  why  would  they  bother  sending  a  unit  along  with  him?  (  he’d  managed  to  conquer  blorch  on  his  own,  but  it’s  still  kind  of  a  sore  spot  for  him.  )

skoodge  shakes  his  head  slightly,  refocusing  on  the  problem  at  hand  like  any  good  irken  would.  ❝  want  me  to  help  you  find  her?  ❞  it’s  not  like  he  has  anything  better  to  do.

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???,  tourist.

“Most certainly not! I’m just here to check things out and whatnot. It’s been centuries since I last visited this place.”

And now, Astra had her own inquiry. “If you don’t mind me asking, what is an Irken such as yourself doing on Earth? Are you here to conquer this planet?”

ah,  that’s  good.  she’s  nothing  to  worry  about,  then.  ❝  no  ...  i’ve  already  conquered  my  assigned  planet.  ❞  traditionally,  he’d  be  assigned  another,  but  the  tallests  hadn’t  exactly  been  thrilled  about  how  short  he  is  ...  so  he’d  been  launched  into  space.  (  he  decides  not  to  bring  this  up.  )  ❝  i  just  came  here  to  visit  someone.  ❞

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???,  alternian.

“Wha-? Aye, Me? Alternia, but…it wass desstroyed by a meteor. I left there when I wass younger, and I’m much more happier on Earth now.” lightly shrugging, tongue flicking out idly at the air. “I’m ussed to bein’ assked that, sso I don’t mind ansswering.”

yes,  her.  who  else?  ❝  i  see  ...  ❞  irkens  typically  don’t  care  for  any  other  species,  &  although  skoodge  doesn’t  share  the  same  blind  hatred  as  the  rest  of  his  kind,  he  still  responds  to  others  with  more  apathy  than  anything  else.  if  her  home  planet  was  destroyed,  at  least  it  wasn’t  by  his  kind,  which  would  be  awkward  —  &  if  she’s  been  living  on  earth  for  so  long,  she  might  as  well  be  human  ...  even  though  she  doesn’t  look  like  it.  ❝  &  no  one’s  tried  to  dissect  you?  ❞

[hobothirteen-blog]

hal,  unsavory  alien  filth.

How interestingly nice of him to show concern for… what did he call it? Unsavory alien filth? Though to be fair, such regards weren’t uncommon on her home-planet as well, they were just a bit more tactful about it. “Nah. I’m fine. You gotta roll with Zim’s chaos, man. Makes life worth living.” she chuckled, removing a stick that had been caught in her synthetic hair.

“Welp! Nobody died this time! We should celebrate!”

skoodge  certainly  definitely  disagrees  with  her  sentiments  about  zim,  but  as  long  as  they’re  both  helping  the  other  invader  with  his  plans  (  as  doomed  as  they  all  might  be,  )  he’ll  let  her  see  it  however  she’d  like  to.  ❝  ...  irkens  only  celebrate  victories.  ❞  of  course,  a  warlike  race  like  his  wouldn’t  be  open  to  the  concept  of  small  victories.  you  either  achieve  your  objective  &  win,  or  you  lose.  perhaps  that’s  why  skoodge  is  so  upset  after  every  one  of  zim’s  failed  missions,  even  though  he  realistically  shouldn’t  be.

still,  he’s  mildly  intrigued  by  what  celebration  implies.  it’s  not  like  he’s  ever  bothered  to  learn  much  about  hal,  or  about  vortians  as  a  whole,  for  that  matter.  ❝  what  would  we  do?  ❞

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???,  human  child.

AH !   A   REPEAT   of   zim,   like   an   old   glitched   musical   note   playing   over   &&.   over   again;   salem   almost   sighs   at   dibs   surprised   expression,   how   he   rambled   on   about   how   there   was   not   one   but   two   aliens   now.   he   loved   cryptids,   but   never   as   much   as   that;   never   as   much   as   dib   devoted   to   ruining   whatever   zim   did.   it   was   perhaps   tiring.  

“      try   not   to  die,   okay   new   kid ?        “      but   he   tries   to   be   nice,   offering   a   small   smile   &&.   his   hand   to   the   new   student,   still   unsure   if   he’d   even   know   what   to   do   with   it   or   how   to   do   a   handshake;      ”       i’m   sal.   if   you   need   help   finding   anything   lemme   know !   or   zim,   uh,   really   anyone   you’re   more   comfortable   with,   i   guess ?       “

❝  yeaaah,  i’ll  try  my  best.  ❞  unlike  zim,  skoodge  finds  it  impossible  to  care  for  the  rambling  of  one  boy  who  no  one  else  seems  to  believe.  perhaps  it’s  because  he’s  a  more  capable  invader  —  he  could  push  zim  aside  &  conquer  this  planet  in  a  day  if  he  so  desired,  &  yet,  here  he  is,  going  along  with  zim’s  current  half  baked  plan.  hearing  his  comrade’s  name  mentioned  inspires  skoodge  to  look  in  the  other  irken’s  direction,  &  he  can’t  help  but  grimace  more  intensely  as  he  watches  his  friend  arguing  with  dib  over  whether  skoodge  is  a  human  or  an  alien.  ❝  uh  ...  yeah,  zim.  thanks.  ❞

he’s  more  like  gir  than  zim  in  that  he  knows  the  basics  of  human  culture;  he  spent  a  long  time  researching  whilst  hiding  out  in  zim’s  basement  unbeknownst  to  him.  that’s  why  he  has  little  to  no  problem  meeting  the  boy’s  hand  with  his  own,  black  glove  meeting  exposed  fingers  as  they  shake  —  &  skoodge  thinks  he’s  done  a  rather  good  job  at  it,  considering  this  isn’t  a  ritual  practiced  in  irken  society.  ❝  i’m  skoodge,  like  the  teacher  said.  ❞  something  about  her  puts  him  on  edge,  but  he’s  not  sure  if  she’s  abnormal  or  not,  so  he  doesn’t  want  to  mention  it.

[hobothirteen-blog]

zim,  unaware  host.

The Florpus event had been ,,, CHAOTIC to say the very least and even ZIM was feeling a bit tired and drained from the whole experience. Not only did he once again have to spend a day rebuilding his house ( which is what he had done the day before ) , but he was still dealing with the feelings and questions he had from before.

Why weren’t the tallests coming?

Zim had gone out that day for Skool,, which seemed to go straight back into the swing of things despite all the madness. He slumps his way into the house, not even giving so much as a passing glance at the robot parents. He heads to the couch, walking past it– looking at the other and simply saying

“Oh hey Skoodge...”

….Before walking backwards a bit and glancing back towards the somewhat taller Irken Invader.

“SKOODGE —-? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY houuuuse???” he says with an almost angry tone but in all honesty his emotion currently was CONFUSED.

should  he  be  honest  about  just  how  long  he’s  been  staying  here  ...  ?  nah,  probably  not.  he  doesn’t  want  to  freak  zim  out,  something  skoodge  knows  (  even  better  than  most  )  that  this  is  something  the  other  invader  is  liable  to  do.  instead,  he  just  shrugs,  as  if  he  has  no  clue  what  he’s  doing  here,  either  —  he’ll  supply  an  answer,  of  course,  but  he’s  hoping  his  forced  don’t  ask  me  expression  helps  his  case.  irkens  who  are  taller  than  him  usually  accept  his  idiocy  as  an  excuse  for  the  things  he  does,  &  although  zim  is  technically  smaller  than  he  is,  he  certainly  acts  like  this  isn’t  the  case  ...  which  skoodge  has  always  been  okay  with.  in  fact,  he’s  hoping  that  it  doesn’t  change  now.  (  why  would  it?  they’ve  known  each  other  since  they  were  smeets,  &  things  have  always  been  the  same.  sort  of.  )

❝  i’m  just  visiting.  ❞  is  that  really  a  lie?  ...  okay,  yeah,  it  basically  is.  it’s  not  like  he’s  here  to  spy  on  zim,  or  hurt  him,  or  anything  like  that  ...  so  ...  it  should  be  fine.  ❝  i  don’t  have  a  disguise,  sooo  ...  i  let  myself  in.  ❞  that’s  partially  true,  too  —  it’s  the  reason  why  he  hasn’t  left,  why  he  doesn’t  have  anywhere  else  to  go.  skoodge’s  words  are  supposed  to  sound  lax,  like  they  used  to  be,  but  there’s  something  off  about  him.  even  after  all  this  time  lying  low,  he’s  still  tired.  that  sucks.  it  stops  him  from  caring  about  how  angry  zim  sounds,  though.

it’s  another  few  moments  before  he  figures  he  should  apologize.  ❝  ...  sorry.  ❞

[hobothirteen-blog]

what’s  his  face,  human  child.

{ ☆ } Dib wishes that he could say he didn’t jump in fear surprise at the sudden voice… But he did. Very high, to be honest. Hands fumble for the video camera that he nearly drops, eyes wide as he finally gets a decent hold on the precious device with even more precious evidence inside. Clutching it close to his chest, he slowly— cautiously —turns around to face the unexpected voice. “W-Wuh?” Is all he can muster for a brief moment, quizzical gaze riveted on the alien standing in front of him… He’s not supposed to be here either.

Zim is very much a Solo Invader… Aside from his ‘Evil’ Robot. But at times Dib can’t help but wonder how much assistance he actually provides when it comes to the Irken’s plans of world conquest. If anything, it seems like the well-meaning machine hinders more than he helps. How do you think Dib entered the ‘secret’ base in the first place?

“But… You’re trespassing too.” His dad likely wouldn’t be too happy about him ‘jumping to conclusions’ without sufficient evidence, but Dib feels good about trusting his gut. Everything FEELS like it points to the alien not supposing to be here— the request confirming what he already ‘knew’ —and Dib has learned that any Paranormal Investigator worth their salt has to know when to trust their gut. Many of his greatest discoveries wouldn’t have been made without taking a little liberty when it comes to assumptions. “So… Doesn’t that mean you should leave too? Since you’re on earth, living among humans, that means our laws now apply to YOU as well…” Of course, he doesn’t expect— or want —either of them to leave.

This stranger could prove incredibly useful…

“Look, how about a deal? I don’t tell about you and you don’t tell about me. We both just…continue along with our business, and Zim isn’t any the wiser. Alright?” To solidify the deal, a hand is warily extended towards the alien in an offer of ‘peace’, Dib partially expecting it to be horrifically bitten off or something. But, that’s a risk he’ll have to take! For the benefit of all mankind… Despite how unbearably idiotic the majority of it seems to be. { ☆ }

zim  might  not  know  he’s  living  here,  but  skoodge  pays  enough  attention  (  &  gir  rambles  more  than  enough  )  that  he  gets  the  gist  of  zim’s  ...  misadventures.  that’s  why  he’s  so  quick  to  recognize  this  human  intruder  as  zim’s  rival,  even  if  he  can’t  quite  remember  his  name.  does  it  matter?  no,  probably  not,  unless  you’re  trying  to  prove  his  worthlessness  like  the  tallests  would.  the  invader  thinks  about  this  deal  for  a  moment.  he  really  shouldn’t  let  an  intruder  wander  around,  but  he  doesn’t  have  anywhere  to  go  but  zim’s  base  ...  &  he  also  doesn’t  want  zim  to  start  bothering  him  with  those  theatrics  &  overcomplicated  plans  of  his.  it’s  not  like  this  human  can  do  any  harm,  right?  no  one’s  ever  believed  him  before,  apparently.  maybe  skoodge  can  just  keep  an  eye  on  him  &  let  him  go  afterwards.  ❝  well  ...  okay.  ❞

a  gloved  hand  is  offered  in  turn,  &  he  shakes  with  a  bored  grip,  red  eyes  now  half  lidded.  ❝  you  have  to  let  me  watch  you,  though.  ❞  fair  is  fair  —  &  it’s  not  as  if  he’ll  report  anything  to  zim  ...  he  simply  wants  to  make  sure  no  one  is  put  at  too  much  jeopardy,  even  if  this  game  is  much  more  low  stakes  than  this  human  &  his  irken  rival  seem  to  make  it  out  to  be.  (  if  his  request  is  shot  down,  he’s  likely  to  stalk  the  boy  regardless,  so  it’s  a  smarter  move  to  simply  agree  ...  he’s  hoping  this  creature  isn’t  a  complete  moron,  but  you  can  never  be  too  sure  on  a  planet  like  this.  )  now  that  he’s  finally  thinking  about  it,  as  sluggish  as  he  may  feel,  skoodge  can’t  help  but  wonder  what,  exactly,  the  intruder  is  looking  for  ...  &  how  he  plans  on  making  his  way  around  without  getting  caught  or  killed.  not  that  it’s  his  problem  —  he’s  just  thinking,  a  sentiment  from  one  trespasser  to  another.

[hobothirteen-blog]

sir  unit,  tak’s.

“..̵. ̕Tàķ.̵”

Then she just points at him for a bit, eventually tapping him on the chest, as if asking who he was.

the  easily  unsettled  skoodge  seems  sort  of  uncomfortable,  &  he  takes  a  tiny  step  back  when  the  sir  unit  pokes  his  chest  —  but  at  least  he  gets  the  idea.  ❝  uh  ...  i’m  invader  skoodge.  ❞  long  pause.  ❝  why  are  you  here  by  yourself?  ❞

[memeasaurus-promptus]

Captured Sentence Starters

May contain some uncomfortable scenarios.

“Thrash all you want, you can ever escape this cage.” 

“I’ve finally caught you.” 

“Aw, is it too tight? Good.” 

“You will never leave this place alive.” 

“You are a marvelous creature, trapped in such a small little cell.” 

“Let me go!” 

“You think you’ve won, huh?!” 

“Quit struggling, you will only make it worse.” 

“You seem rather calm for being in your position.” 

“You can’t keep me in here forever!” 

“W-what are you going to do to me?” 

“I’ve been looking for something new to experiment on…” 

“What a fine specimen! Yes, you will do just fine.” 

“I won’t become some lab rat!” 

“As soon as I get my hands on you, you will regret trapping me in here.” 

“What…what is this place?” 

“Where am I?” 

“If you keep struggling, you may lose a limb.” 

“Please! You got to help me!” 

“I’ve done nothing wrong!” 

“If you answer a just a couple of questions, I may let you go.” 

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for something like you?” 

“You’ve hit the end of the road, ___.” 

“Do you really think bindings and bars will keep you safe?” 

“I will kill you!” 

“You are not quite reacting like I’d assumed…” 

!?+ add your own!

[hobothirteen-blog]

red,  almighty  tallest.

   ❛ if we were on home world i’d stuff you in a canon and light the fuse for disobeying orders, soldier. but sure, i’ll indulge. ❜ straightening his cap he swats the air for the shorter irken to move aside prior to climbing into the glowing pond of oozing lava. he sinks about waist deep without any complications and he smirks, crossing his arms and holding his head up high.

   but seconds later he’s screaming. ❛ oh irk, skoodge! help me! help me i’m dying! i’m melting! HELP ME!!! ❜ flailing his arms about as he sinks further and screams bloody murder. in a desperate panic he reaches out to his tiny companion. ❛ TAKE MY HAND AND PULL ME OUT! GET ME OUT OF HERE! ❜ look at what you’ve done, foolish peasant.

the  threat  doesn’t  sting  too  much,  since  he  has  been  stuffed  in  a  canon  &  fired  into  space  before.  how  did  he  survive?  don’t  ask  him.  still,  skoodge  likes  to  think  he’s  a  good  soldier,  &  he  obediently  moves  over  to  let  red  proceed  before  him.

skoodge  watches  with  even  larger  eyes  than  usual  as  red  wades  into  the  lava,  &  they  somehow  widen  further  as  he  begins  to  scream.  ❝  my  tallest?!  ❞  in  his  panic,  all  he  manages  to  do  is  reach  forwards  for  the  other  irken  ...  but  his  arms  are  too  short,  even  when  he  finally  realizes  he  should  get  help  from  his  spider  legs.  cursed  short  arms.  rest  in  peace,  almighty  tallest  red.

[hobothirteen-blog]

@irkvader.

he’s  supposed  to  be  dead  ...  but  that’s  been  the  case  many  times  before,  hasn’t  it?  skoodge  seems  to  be  unkillable,  much  to  the  almighty  tallests’  chagrin,  &  that’s  why  he’s  still  living  right  now  —  &,  to  an  extent,  why  he’s  living  in  zim’s  basement  unbeknownst  to  him.  it’s  been  a  while,  &  skoodge’s  life  is  slow  &  stale.  he  talks  to  the  computer,  plays  with  gir,  researches  earth  culture  ...  but  he  thinks  it’s  finally  time  to  say  something,  as  odd  as  that  is.

so,  when  zim  comes  home,  skoodge  is  just  ...  there.  unlike  some  irkens,  he’s  not  one  for  theatrics  or  dramatic  entrances  —  he’s  just  lying  down  on  the  couch,  waiting,  &  he  sits  up  when  the  sound  of  the  front  door  opening  &  robotic  voices  (  welcome  home,  son!  )  alert  him  to  zim’s  presence.  what  could  he  possibly  say  or  do  to  explain  himself?  there  are  a  lot  of  choices,  but  skoodge  does  the  characteristic  thing  &  goes  with  something  simple.  ❝  hi.  ❞  it  doesn’t  really  get  more  simple  than  that.

[hobothirteen-blog]

@tresinked  liked  for  a  one  liner.

why  did  zim  make  him  come  here?  this  seems  like  an  utter  waste  of  time  ...  well,  he  just  has  to  make  it  through  today,  &  he’s  sure  the  other  irken  will  forget  about  it  &  let  him  do  whatever  he  wants  by  tomorrow.  still,  he’s  forced  to  try  &  fit  in  for  now.  ❝  today’s  my  first  day  at  ...  skool.  ❞  kill  him  now.

[hobothirteen-blog]

@aliiienation  liked  for  a  one  liner.

❝  can  that  plan  wait  until  tomorrow?  i’m  tired.  ❞  that’s  not  a  complaint  befitting  of  an  irken  invader,  but  he  already  conquered  his  assigned  planet,  so  ...  give  him  a  break.

[hobothirteen-blog]

@vortship  liked  for  a  one  liner.

jeez,  that  was  a  disaster  of  a  plan  —  even  for  zim  standards.  skoodge  stands  up  &  dusts  off  his  uniform,  then  refocuses  on  his  fellow  alien.  ❝  uhh.  you’re  not  hurt,  right  ...  ?  ❞

[hobothirteen-blog]

@serpentine-rogue  liked  for  a  one  liner.

❝  ...  what  planet  are  you  from?  ❞  yes,  that’s  a  legitimate  question.  no,  he  doesn’t  realize  how  much  it  sounds  like  an  insult.  tragic.