Growing my Hog Gut
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@hoggut-rex
Growing my Hog Gut
Follow me on my Tumblr HogGut-Rex
About to lumber into the kitchen, starving.
Now they are pretty obvious stretch marks. The confirmation I’m becoming a fat f**k and there’s no going back! 😳
Feeling myself lately. 🐖
This is the minimum belly every man deserves.
It jiggles when empty
Today makes the first year since your retirement from professional soccer - if you call being injured and forced off a team "retirement." You played for the LA Galaxy for a few years before an untimely injury put you on the bench, then off the roster. It was a big bruise to your ego - it had always been your dream to play for the team. As a way to forget your troubles, you decided to treat yourself to a spa day then a stroll through the neighborhood.
After wrapping up at the spa, you pass by a costume shop and see retro 1990s stylized LA Galaxy jersey in the window. You decide to try one on and send a selfie to some of your old teammates, thinking they'd get a kick out of it.
Within a few second of snapping and sending the image you look back up in the mirror and are shocked to see your hair falling out. You notice creases along your expanding forehead, some grey in your beard and more hair on your arms.
The changes accelerate. You briefly look away from the mirror and when you look up you think you see your dad...but quickly realize that you just look the same age as him. You strip off the jersey, wondering if you're having an allergic reaction to the polyester - grasping at any straws to fix this situation. The top of your head is totally bald now, you've gained at least 50 lbs and your beard is more grey than brown. So much for your minoxidil and finasteride treatments. You look like a man in his 40s that hasn't taken the best care of himself.
The changes continue and your hair goes mostly white. A bushy mustache grows on your face and your skin continues to weather and loosen. You are in a mix of shock and panic at the image of a man, now older than your father, staring back at you in the mirror.
The changes begin to slow - you realize that maybe this has something to do with the jersey! Maybe it's magic or maybe it's cursed. You put it back on hoping it will somehow reverse the change but you can't fit it over your now more robust torso. You stare at yourself in the mirror for what feels like an hour - hoping for something to happen - but nothing does...You look closer to 60 now, maybe a bit younger than your grandfather.
After a short time your thoughts began to cloud. You think back across the 60+ years of your life...wait is that right...weren't you in your mid 20s? You briefly space out as your brain is being rewired. That's right! You did play for the LA Galaxy, but in the 1990s. You retired at the peak of your game in the at the age of 30. You've lived off a nest egg and some real estate ventures ever since. You popped by the store because you saw your old jersey in the window. After purchasing it you headed back to your home in the countryside to enjoy your well earned retirement - pipe, porch, rocking chair and all.
*this was a reader's request
Landon ducked into the costume shop still wearing his backward cap, gym shorts, and fraternity hoodie, with the party already buzzing in his group chat. The theme was “come as someone you’re not,” and he wanted something funnier than a toga or fake cowboy hat. Then he saw it: a full English gentleman’s outfit on a mannequin — tweed jacket, waistcoat, crisp shirt, dark tie, bowler hat, and a polished wooden pipe tucked into a velvet-lined box. He laughed under his breath, imagining himself strolling into the frat house looking like someone’s ancient British uncle. The pipe sold it. “Perfect,” he muttered, thinking it would be hilarious to use it later to smoke weed.
In the changing room, the costume fit too well. As soon as Landon tucked the pipe into the corner of his mouth he sold the deal. He went glassy-eyed. The tweed tightened across his shoulders, then seemed to pull his posture upright, straightening his slouch into something dignified. His horseshoe mustache, grown after losing a bet, transitioned into the start of a more distinguished handlebar style.
His smooth college face sharpened, then transitioned through middle-age: crow’s feet etching around his eyes, laugh lines deepening beside his mouth, and the skin across his forehead loosened into warm, creased maturity.
His hairline crept backward as his dark hair thinned, then began to silver at the sides. Briefly regaining some sense of self-awareness, Landon lifted a hand to his cheek, with the vague notion that something had changed - but unable to put his finger on it. He tried to say, “Dude, what the—” but what came out was a crisp, startled, “Good heavens,” before the light in his eyes dimmed again.
The changes proceeded as his skin continued to age and his hair receded leaving a totally bald top. - pushing him into his 60s. What was left of his hair turned mostly white - including his signature handlebar mustache, a style he had worn for the last 40 years.
By the time he stepped out of the changing room, there was no panic left in him. The young man’s memories had folded away like discarded clothes. He adjusted his tie, placed the bowler hat neatly on his bald crown, and regarded himself in the mirror with calm approval. A distinguished English gentleman looked back: silver-haired at the sides, bright-eyed, deeply lined, and entirely at ease with himself. He gave the pipe a thoughtful puff, smiled beneath his mustache, and left the shop for home, having fully enjoyed his outing for the day and ready to curl up with a good book by the fireplace.
160kg reached!!! 😜
Happy and satisfied with my 160 kg of wobbly pork 🐷🐷🐷
🍔18 year old guy posting videos about his fat gain 🍕
Beer Belly
Beach Ball Belly Watch