if you're not crying, we're not done ♡ @holebullier - Tumblr Blog

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remy, they/zie, 24. a misc nsfw & kink blog. i'm t4t, enby4enby, and attracted to all genders. boygirl with self-made tits. i'm taken romantically. i'm primarily a dom and i will be expressing that shamelessly, if you can handle someone wanting to be hit you can handle someone wanting to hit them.

i'm good with titles, even gendered ones, just alternate and get fun w/ it, yeah? i really like mistress or your highness, though if you wanna get me good.

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celebratingwomen

Paz de la Huerta for Purple magazine, 2010

cassadism

Here is a guide to hitting others. It is not about safe impact locations or how to develop picturesque bruising. It is about how to hit someone, and keep hitting someone, until you're both satisfied. It is how I approach hitting masochists for my own pleasure.

The first thing to note is that...

This is going to Hurt.

That fact cannot be shied away from. Pain, even for masochists, hurts. There is a tolerance to how much someone can take, and ways to engage with that tolerance. You will need to learn how each masochist takes pain, and potentially even teach them how to manage and endure it.

So you've got a paddle and a tied up piece of masochistic meat, or perhaps you're using your hand and it's bent over your knee, or perhaps it's cuffed to a cross and you've got a whip, or perhaps you've got a knife or needles or... well by now I've laboured the point enough.

How do you get the most out of your meat?

Start slow. Hit them slowly and rhythmically, building up in intensity every few hits, and when they tense too much or start struggling to breathe or can't stop themselves from making too much noise, slow down again.

Your aim is to warm up the meat so that it can get used to the pain, and once it's used to the pain you can intensify it. Climb up, drop down, and climb back up again. Vary the strike location, but remember that locations you haven't hit as much will need warming up too. The more skilfully it's done, the more you'll get to hit it.

On the subject of their breathing, tension, and noises, you'll want to pay attention to these as you hit them. As you hit them, their breathing will try to get sharp and shallow. Their muscles will try to contract to harden against the impact, and they'll make noises as reactions to your hits. Encourage them to keep their breathing steady and calm, and they'll take the hits better. Encourage them to relax so that the impact dissipates into their flesh instead of getting caught in their tension and you can hit them harder while hurting them less. Listen for moans of pleasure if they're so inclined, and encourage them to verbalise their pain, intentionally responding to pain verbally will help them endure it. Let them calm themselves between your hits, and they'll feel like they can take it and let you push them harder.

Watch how they react, but be aware that you may need to soothe or goad them. Try different things: Hold your off-hand on their shoulder so that they can brace against you. Praise them for each hit you've delivered. Tell them they can take more for you. Tease them. Rub them while they catch their breath and tell them how happy you are with them for taking it. Be verbal, but don't expect responses unless they enjoy responding. Pay attention to what helps them calm.

Once you've got the hang of these things, you can begin to play with them and challenge them: forbid them from making noise. Blindfold them so that they can't prepare for the pain. Make them watch you hit them so that they can't help but tense up in response, and play with false swings to mess with their minds. You can be cruel, because you know how it works. You know which moving parts can be shifted, and which must stay still.

Consider also what your masochist wants from being hit: some do not want to be overwhelmed, they want to be guided and hit into a meditative place where they can dissolve into the pain: intense but never too much, and then you can hit them until they're bloody and raw. Others want their pain to push right up to the edge of too much and stay there until they break. They want to cry and scream, and your challenge is to see how cathartic you can make it: break them too quickly and they might not find it satisfying, and neither will you.

And afterwards, aftercare, and you can work out what that looks like with your masochist yourselves.

thepropertyofadaddy-deactivated

chinoise56x3

Reblogging to let others know…

animentality

satanfemme

what if everyone in the world could be nice to dominants and sadists and appreciate how beautiful, necessary, and explicitly prosocial their roles are in our communities

satanfemme

dominants and sadists deserve more than to just be tolerated as necessary evils, or as red flags you can only conditionally trust as long as they do exactly what you want when you want without ever challenging you or asking for anything more. when you treat dominants and sadists this way you're opening the door for their sexual abuse by you btw.

satanfemme

and selfishly, I want people to understand and appreciate the amount of prosocial effort it takes to be a dominant or sadist. you do not fulfill these roles just by "giving in" to some kind of innate, unthinking predatory nature. you fulfill these roles through the same kind of social etiquette, emotional maturity, and hard work that anyone else in any other kind of social role devotes to their actions.

Although I've blamed my social difficulties for the root of my sadistic desires, my low empathy &etc do not make it easier for me to actually act out on these desires, they make it much harder. when I execute a successful scene in which I'm the dom or sadist, that success isn't through blind luck, through my partner's efforts alone, or through me being kept on a (metaphorical) short leash to keep my nature in check. when there is success it is through both me and my partner's efforts to, as a team, communicate our mutual needs and act them out in a way we both find mutually beneficial and fun.

satanfemme

do people who aren't doms or sadists understand how much effort, time, and practice it takes to even begin acting out the things we fantasize about. it's an extremely vulnerable and dangerous position to be in. to be put in charge of someone else's safety like that. to spend time researching how to do things safely, and trusting your own knowledge on the matter even during a heated or high-emotion moment. to trust your partner to communicate with you clearly and maturely when you check in with them, trying to assess if you're doing things at the correct level of intensity, not pushing things too far but not being too soft either. trusting your partner not to report you to the cops (or accuse you socially) if they feel regretful about the sex later. trust that your own boundaries and needs will be respected, and you won't be treated as just a scary sex toy. having first aid kits on hand, knowing what to do in an emergency. and all the socialized self-loathing you feel as part of the supposed "predator" class.

your partner can say a hundred times that they want what they want, and you'll want it too, but you need to consciously push past everything you've been taught your whole life to convince yourself it's ok and conditionally allowed. even if the fantasies and desires come naturally, the actions don't always, not in my experience at least.

imho it's much harder than being a sub, where (as unhealthy as it is) you can avoid the cognitive dissonance by playing into your passivity and denying responsibility in your own mind. as a dom you can't deny responsibility. in order to take any action at all you need to first actively untangle the dissonance to discard of your ingrained biases. it's hard.

thegoodenby

thinking about forced or coerced exhibitionism again... being groped or shown off in public without getting a say... being teased about how wet I get despite my horror and embarrassment... them getting more daring the more I get whiny and needy...

kisseism

ok but how am i supposed to be normal now that i thought about making you fuck my thighs while i tease you? telling you about how i want you to cum all over me and how i know you'd rather fuck my cunt but awe. you don't deserve that yet, love <3

transcockiness

genuine challenge for writers on trans nsft i am not joking: write a post about a dom/me with a small dick (estrogenized, testosterone, intersex, can't get hard, etc) topping someone WITHOUT describing their dick as "cute," "pathetic," "adorable," "useless," "impotent," or any other degrading, demeaning, infantilizing, or otherwise implying of it being less attractive or capable of topping than a big dick, and WITHOUT comparing it to big dicks. don't say or imply that the top is good at dom/ming and topping "despite" their body, write it as a plus. use words like hot, sexy, perfect, even "bitchbreaker" if you're into that to describe the top's small cock, talk about how good it feels for the bottom and how much they crave it and then love feeling it inside them.

don't include the use of a silicone dick or strap that imitates supremacist standard penises, don't default to fingering, just have them top with their fucking dick and have the bottom ENJOY it. and for the love of gd no "sph" or chastity cage. genuinely please write this, if you're a bottom, if you're a top even if YOU have a big dick, if you don't do either. if you're someone who likes or wants to write erotica, make me and thousands of other transmasc dysphoric, transfem w shrinkage, intersex, etc dom/me tops happy by trying this out. use this post by my headmate and/or this post by my girlfriend as examples, if you need

challenging size supremacy (and make no joke, this is vital. it is eugenicist. doctors operate on infants who have penises that don't meet their standards, people have ended their lives over this, i do not know what else people need to hear to start giving a shit and doing better) starts with us. it starts one post at a time, one compliment at a time, one shutting down eugenicist "jokes" at a time, one challenging our internal perceptions of attractiveness and what "good sex" is at a time, one asking tops w nonstandard dicks what we actually want and then GIVING it at a time. we have the power to counter the endless negativity and excruciating emotional pain it has caused me and my loved ones and many others, but we have to step up and actually do it.

(if you write a post like this and tag me or dm it to me ill reblog it! rbs of this post welcome and encouraged)

transcockiness

i really want a woman to top me with her soft cock. i want to feel her beautiful body pressed up against mine, her soft stomach squished into mine, or flipped around with her big feminine belly on my lower back and her tits pressed against the top of it. her warm ragged breath in my neck, her grinding against my ass until her cock is leaking and the air smells like pussy from it thanks to estrogen. i want her to flip me over and put her hands all over my body, to run them up and down my chest, i want her to kiss my neck as i run my hands back all over her body, spread my legs for her.

i want her to pull my boxers off, i want her to show me how good her ass looks in the panties she's wearing before pulling them off. i want to keep getting distracted by how fucking beautiful she is, her pretty big nose and gorgeous eyes and messy hair and stunning smile, unable to decide between looking at her face beaming sunshine and her curves, her tummy, her pretty shoulders, her tits, her perfect hips, her gorgeous soft cock. i want her to gently hold my thighs open and position herself to push into me as much as she's able.

i want her to tease my hole by just barely brushing the tip against my entrance until i'm moaning and begging and thrashing as much as i can under her firm hands keeping my thighs pressed open and i want her to finally relent and fuck me. i want to take her soft cock into myself, feel the warmth of her pretty dick, feel how much pre she's leaking into me, feel her heartbeat in her cock. i want to wrap my arms around her back and pull her into me and feel her tits on my chest and her mouth on my neck and her bush pressing against my sensitive cock and her soft cock in my hole and only be able to cry out "you're so pretty, fuck you're pretty, i love you, i love you, i love you" overwhelmed with pleasure and attraction and love while the most beautiful woman in the world fucks me

im a boydyke, he/him

if u wanna buy our longform erotica or donate to help my transfem gf and i not become homeless in 2 mos

tongue-twists

You can top without a cock! You can sub without being penetrated! You can have sex without touching each other's genitals! You can give pleasure without oral sex! You can be kinky without expensive gear! You can be penetrated without a pussy or without doing anal! You can roleplay without taking it seriously! You can do whatever you want forever!!!

wifestock

what's the like succinct way to communicate that i have a fetish for being the bored one in the bored thighjob. whats that called, how would i look it up on a porn site

wifestock

worship is like a Part of it but its not the whole thing, being called goddess or any honorific like that is kind of gross to me tbh. like yes im the refined plush object of desire checking my nails and youre the boorish desire driven perv but like this is a simple reality, it doesnt need to be propped up by placing me on a pedestal, im already there.

decompose1

getting mega frustrating terf comments on my post and it's maddening bc they're flat out just wrong + stupid. they utterly refuse to do ANY research and spread complete misinformation about vaginoplasty as a way of trying to fearmonger and judge you out of getting one. so im gonna make a post about it.

THEY'RE LYING! VAGINOPLASTY IS NOT AN ""OPEN WOUND"". it is a real sexual organ. dilation is completely normal and was invented for cis women first anyways- a ton of them have to do it, it's no different just because it's happening to a neovagina. vaginoplasty is a very well-researched surgery that has been done over and over and improved like crazy over many many years. there are even multiple ways to do it now, using several different types of tissue for the creation of the vaginal canal if you want one. anyone seeking vaginoplasty, your vagina will be just that! a vagina! a very real, beautiful, working body part! the body is an amazing thing in that it will accept this new body part and figure out how to take care of it like any other. isn't that so cool? isn't it amazing how adaptable the body is, that it can just learn how to work with new parts like that? i promise you, your vagina will be real, it will work like any other vagina, and it is a very beautiful thing. the fearmongering around bottom surgeries has to stop.