I believe I've shared this post before, but below is the first post I ever made on my blog. It was at the height of the frenzy around C/F, and I was trying to make sense of everything.
https://www.tumblr.com/afro-star/806859285973860352/i-tend-to-spiral-before-i-come-to-my-final
I try to infuse a lot of humor into my musings and posts, but I spiral like anybody else, and it can get ugly. I just don't think that needs to be shared with y'all, because we all come here for fun. But trust me I've had my thoughts. However, let me share some of my more detailed thoughts as to how I view what's currently going on.
December: The minute Hudson and Connor started getting questions about their sexuality while doing press I knew this was going to be a shitshow. That's why I'll never forgive Jordan Firstman for stirring up that mess about Connor and Hudson's sexuality and then HBO Max sending Hudson to clean it up when it wasn't his fault in the first place. What happened as a result was Connor hanging out with Francois and his sister, that video being taken of them walking, DM posting it and doxxing K in conjunction with that TikTok leaker account and here we are in July still dealing with the fallout. I always felt that this constant obsession about who Hudson and Connor were "dating" was a backwards way of getting them to come out either way and just say if they were Gay or Straight. Which, by the way, even though we all speculate, neither has confirmed what they are so the desire to force them to speak on it has always been bullshit to me.
Hudson and K: How you view Hudson and K right now depends on how you viewed them back in December when she got doxxed and revealed as the "girlfriend that we all knew about." I've said this before, but I think it's important to be clear now. I have never even after Valentine's Day, and the Vanity Fair After Party thought that K was Hudson's girlfriend, that they are currently dating, or that they have ever dated in the past.
I don't believe they had an on/off relationship, or an open relationship. I don't believe any romantic feelings were ever there. That's why I draw the parallels so much to Connor and Bailey. Not because I think Hudson and K are close like that (I did think that before this current sideshow 🤡) but because people have allowed pictures to paint such a specific narrative of Hudson and K that the cognitive dissonance of them in person is like an atom bomb going off, because it just doesn't match up. I always thought it was weird that before he did the Valentine's Day IG story and before Hudson said the word girlfriend in the GRWM video, that people were so sure that she was his girlfriend. Circling back to Connor and Bailey, closeness and intimacy between a man and woman does not automatically equal a romantic relationship, and Hudson and K have even less chemistry than Connor and Bailey and we know they're just friends.
Because I believe they were never, nor are they currently a couple, albeit a toxic one, I'm not expecting them to "break up". I'm expecting for the charade to end. Whatever closeness was there prior to December is dead now in my opinion. I see two people who appear to have once been very close look like they have completely outgrown each other and are trying to fit themselves back into whatever they were before Hudson's fame and popularity, and it has been excruciating to watch.
K: Since you get called a misogynist no matter what you say, I'm going to say what I want. From what I've seen not what I know, I don't like her energy. She seems to smirk rather than smile in her public appearances with Hudson, and as I mentioned in previous posts there's only so many times, we can catch you in a bad mood or an off day. She gives me the ick. I don't think she ever was Hudson's girlfriend, I think she was Hudson's closest friend for a longtime and she was not able to handle him outgrowing her and his sudden fame taking him outside of the box they existed in back in Vancouver. I especially don't think she's ever been jazzed about Connor taking up the top spot in Hudson's life romantically, emotionally, and simply being a very good friend and confidant to Hudson.
He's Gay: I'm simply saying this to lead into this topic, but the reality is that there is a high likelihood that Hudson is Queer. Whether he's Gay or Bisexual, or unlabeled doesn't really matter because he's shown in words and actions that he does fall somewhere under that big Queer umbrella, that a lot of us find ourselves under as well in this Fandom. Some of my mutuals have spoken more eloquently than I have about this, but there is a reason why Hudson can't be more "out" right now. It has a lot to do with something I've mentioned before in regard to Hudson's sexuality, which is intersectionality.
Hudson is a Person of Color and possibly Queer. He's a Half-Asian man but perceived as Asian completely and that comes with its own set of stereotypes and expectations. Hudson wants I'm sure to have a long career in Hollywood, and while it's obvious based on his previous work before Heated Rivalry, that he appreciates Queer Art and making Queer Art, Hollywood is Hollywood, and how he navigates that and presents himself is own unfortunate problem to deal with. We should just send positive energy his way that he's able to navigate this better going forward, but this man just turned 25 and blew up overnight, this is not infantilize him but to extend him the grace that I think we should, no matter how much all of this upsets us, I'm sure suppressing himself upsets him more, but he probably feels he has to do this, possibly for a greater reward at the end.
Now, speaking of being Gay, that shit today? No offence but it made him look even more Gay. And now he's out partying not looking an ounce like the "straight boyfriend" persona we were being force fed a couple of hours ago. If there were natural attraction and closeness, even residual romantic feelings to tap into from a previous relationship between the two, then it would've been easy for him to tap into it today. The feelings are simply not there and I'm not surprised. Remember the last time we saw her with her "assets" on full display at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, Hudson didn't look at her once like she was the "baddie" people claim she is. Rather he got downright giddy to see Connor with his chest out in a sheer shirt. Hudson's attraction leans male, and more specifically for one man.
Connor: This is a man who literally said that the moment he saw Hudson in the Chemistry Read that Hudson was his, and that he was his soulmate. This is also a man who had someone from his past, basically out him. Connor has been navigating that breach of trust ever since then, including having another costar insert himself into a false narrative about the two of them that further fractured Connor's trust. I believe that Connor and Hudson are going through everything together, not passively watching the other one be a part of a story they don't want. If they weren't doing this together, we would've seen them break by now. I'm not saying that any of this makes sense, just that I don't think Connor is sitting somewhere like Ilya scrolling through gossip sites and getting upset and blindsided about what he's seeing. Now, make no mistake I think Connor is upset, but not at Hudson or because he thinks any of this real, but he and Hudson are probably both frustrated to find themselves in this position in the first place.
Now let me close with this. In June after the umpteenth attempt to cancel Hudson, there was a distinct quietness from Hudson. Now of course, at the beginning of the month this probably had something to do with said attempt to cancel him. I, however, still think that pieces were being moved and plans were being finalized in the quiet that ensued when we didn't know where Hudson was, until he popped up whether in private (Atlanta) or in public in (LA, Vancouver, NYC).
Lastly, the last time Hudson put on a performance with K was at the CSA's. Right after he gushed about Connor at the Bell Media Upfront Event before going to Atlanta where Connor was filming. I don't care if it's a stretch, but maybe Hudson's performance these past weeks, has been to keep everyone looking one way, while he slips off in another direction to see someone before Season 2 starts filming. These are two men who can't go more than 2-3 weeks without seeing each other and we're coming up on that 2-week mark soon. Think about it 👇🏽.
Alright I'm turning in. But as we prepare to see whatever else we see in the coming weeks, I only have one rule.
Sorry the Sci-Fi nerd in me had to use this one again 🤣. Alright I'm out.
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