I fujoshied too close to the sun ☀️

Professional shipper ❤️ HudCon ❤️ Jam Reiderson ❤️ Tomdaya ❤️ Free Palestine 🏳️‍🌈

[dahlia-molinas]

if christopher nolan was really the visionary and ground-breaking director everyone claims he is he would have cast ben affleck as penelope

[okaydays]

ilya asks would you love me if i was a worm & shane says yes & then stays up researching worm care & ilya wakes up to a 29 page powerpoint about exactly how shane would take care of him and what he would buy to ensure maximum comfort & ilya cries

[she-is-home]

theory that cliff figured out the whole hollanov thing YEARSSSS ago but just kept it to himself because ilya is His Boy™

ilya learns about this at the wedding and, while he’s touched that cliff kept the secret for him, he’s also a little pissed/baffled because what do you mean the #1 stupidest bitch in the nhl (affectionate) figured it out first???

[memyselfandi13531]

random post tlg ilya micced up moment

ilya (fucking around): shaneyyyy, on a scale from 1-1,000, how much do you love me?

shane (clearly still in hockey mode): uhhhhhhhhh 1,000.

ilya (nudging shane and whining): shane you are supposed to say that you love me more than a scale because you love me to infinity!!!

shane (confused): then what's the point of having a scale?

----

(inspired by this post by @mutinsfromthemoon!!! i think that this is how it went down the first time that ilya asked that and then later on shane gets the memo :)))

[plumeriyaaa]

The tiniest ilya

[writertobridge-deactivated20230]

Saw this on Twitter and wanted to share.

[birdyflowerdog]

I'm thinking about how Ilya would do some stupid shit like make his Shane notification the grindr sound and during a random practice Shane is gone for some shoot so it goes off, and so the team questions him, he explains, ladiedie ladieda.

The team grows used to it, and so does Luca, he no longer has to silence his phone because he team just thinks that its Shane texting Ilya. That is, until Bood has a BBQ and Ilya's phone dies somewhere during the day and now *another* grindr notification goes off and all eyes turn to poor Luca because he's the only single out gay guy on the team and he gets CHIRPED for the rest of his career about this. Like, Im saying, Luca has a whole husband and children and Ilya still texts him sometimes along the lines of "How's grindr goin'?"

[academic-vampire]

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔲𝔪𝔫 𝔟𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔷𝔢

[ilyilya81]

My new edit is up.. this one is so so special to me!

[mapetitefeedeslilas]

Post-outing Shane loving every time someone shovel-talks him, more or less menacingly, or compliments him for bagging someone as wonderful as Ilya, especially after he's had everyone before more or less judging negatively his choice upon finding out.

Svetlana squaring him up and down promising his ashes will never be recovered if he hurts Ilyushka? Perfectly understandable, he wholeheartedly agrees with the sentiment

Marleau slapping him on the shoulder "Legendary pull, Hollzy! You'll take care of my guy, right?"? New friend unlocked, a delightful goldmine of embarrassing stories and anecdotes about his husband.

Attentive Hazy, with his all knowing goalie-eyes, smiling kindly "you two are a goalie's worst nightmare and the absolute perfect match"? Might even go easy on him during training. But like only once...for half the session.

Sweet baby faced Luca stuttering all embarrassed his congratulations for his engagement with his amazing Cap and childhood idol, and admitting he always thought they'd make a good match? Where are the adult-adoption papers?

[boringmenace]

I just know in my heart of hearts that Ilya felt #competitive about the fact that Shane was the one to propose. So he just couldn’t help himself when it was official that Shane was going to join the Centaurs.

“Hollander, I have a very important question to ask.”

“What?”

“It’s the biggest question I could ever ask you.”

“Ilya, we’re already getting married.”

Ilya grinned, and wrapped his arms around Shane’s waist, pulling him close. “Will you…” he paused for effect. “My beautiful fiancé….” Another pause. “Move in with me?”

Shane shoved him, forcing Ilya to break into laughter and whining, “Nooo, come back, is very important question.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Of course it’s a yes, Ilya. Jesus Christ.”

[daiiku]

[normal-about-hollanov]

obsessed with the concept of ilya listening to chappell. not like religiously or anything but he'll shake his ass to pink pony any day thank you very much. at some point he's driving, radio playing idly, not listening to anything in particular, when the subway comes on.

and he's not really listening until suddenly he very much is.

and he's married now very happily and all that yearning is a thing if the past and he wakes up and falls asleep next to his husband he loves with his whole fucking heart. but he hears 'made you the villain, evil for just moving on... if in four months this feeling aint gone, well fuck this city I'm moving to Saskatchewan' n 'she got away' n for a brief moment it blasts him back into a state of such pining he almost swerves off the road.

(it is also very important to note shane gets a very tearful phone call from the side of the road that is mostly comprised of ilya telling him he loves him so so so much and he would never let him get away he just loves him so so so-)

(also important to note he left the house five minutes before. he saw shane approximately five minutes ago. he also drives immediately home.)

[sleepyloon]

Oh thank god I thought i was the only "ilya would dance to PPC or think Red Wine Supernova was hot asf but would absolutely lose it listening to Subway" truther

[lesbianalumni]

when voice memos become a thing, Ilya goes INSANE over them. he sends every single message as an audio clip, even if it's just 2 seconds of "Shaaaane I love you." (there are plenty of clips of him cumming, too, which are saved to Shane's phone and replayed in dire situations.)

Shane learns pretty quickly not to play any audio from Ilya in public, both because he doesn't want to blow up Ilya's spot and reveal how secretly sappy his boyfriend is, and because there's no telling when Ilya will launch into sex talk in the middle of an otherwise mundane message.

years into this, he's driving Hayden to the airport after hosting him for a long weekend. a message from Ilya comes in, starting with "hey baby, coach just called..." according to the iPhone speech-to-text description. it's short, anyway, and Shane doesn't want to read while driving on the highway — he has no choice to press play.

"Hey baby, Coach just called and said practice is pushed back an hour tonight, I told him that's fine for us. Also, I was just showering and I have a hickey on my dick —"

Shane turns bright red and almost swerves into oncoming traffic trying to turn the phone off.

"Did not know this was possible. You gave me dick hickey," Ilya's voice continues despite Shane's best efforts.

"Not a single word," Shane warns, side eyeing his friend right as Hayden begins to laugh.

[pigeonriot]

[russianblush]

Was it a conscious choice for him to always touch Shane's face? That's Connor living in the character.

[haunted-phantom-student]

In the HR universe instead of the Ben Affleck smoking meme it's an identical picture but Ilya Rozanov and Ilya actually hates it because every time it pops up somewhere for Shane to see it reminds him to bug Ilya about his smoking