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@hollowedupon
another @fawnedupon sideblog because im #losingit. fresh out of recov. being shamed for my body. wieiad’s and whatnot here
stats
start date: july 9th, 2026
height: 5’8/172cm
sw: 166.8lbs/75.7kg
cw: 155.2lbs/70.4kg
lw: 122lbs/55.3kg
gw1: 110lbs/49.9kg
gw2: 100lbs/45.4kg
i’m also having food cravings which is SO ANNOYING ugh i should’ve never done a maintenance day. always always always triggers a several-day long binge sesh
so upset and scared. i don’t want to gain weight
maybe to get past their suspicions i can just do a minor calorie deficit and hope that still changes things for me. sigh
what do i do about this :[
oh nevermiiiind fmscl my parents are INCREDIBLY suspicious of me. i have to tone down on the fasting and starving and whatnot because they literally. are asking me if im “getting anorexic on them” FAAAAAAAH
this was so much easier during school time. do i seriously have to wait until september to get skinny again
posting this at 12:02. realised i do need sugar because my blood sugar is INCREDIBLY low. i’m counting this as july 19 because it technically is. this is all i will be eating today
WIEIAD: Sunday, July 19th, 2026
whole grain cheerios: 220
skim milk: 135
blueberry lärabar: 143
TOTAL: 498 Calories
the lärabar wasn’t that good icl. regret wasting calories on it, but at least i didn’t have the whole thing... i’ll at least have a sugar boost — definitely needed one. starting another fast for as long as i physically can. probably not gonna weigh myself for the next 24 hours for the sake of my sanity
maintenance. honestly did not want to finish the whole meal but like i had to because my parents would get on my ass about wasting food i made
WIEIAD: Saturday, July 18th, 2026
corn: 140
green peas: 62
macaroni: 735
TOTAL: 937 Calories
i got like halfway through the mac n cheese and i was like “ough this is hard to get through.” is it still maintenance if it was under 1000 calories? hell if i know. what i DO know is i feel wide but im sure i’ll appreciate not nearly fainting every 5 minutes tomorrow. hopefully it doesn’t put a wrench in my progress? felt like an absolutely nuts binge despite it. not. being a binge.
bleghhh i gotta do a maintenance day i think. im dizzy every time i stand up/change levels. its been ten days since i ate over 1300 cals, and for the past five days ive only had 136, soooo… i do think its required. i’m gonna hate it the entire time, but it’ll also help get my parents off my back for at least a couple hours
i’ll do my best to be healthy about it, and i don’t want to go over 1500, but i might. it’ll be whatever . shrugs
lost over 10 pounds in nine days. joy
oh my god my parents genuinely tried to shove a bite of lamb in my mouth even after i VEHEMENTLY denied it and then got mad when i left the room. fuck you? what happened to consent?
didn’t even try to feed me for ed reasons, just “this is soooo good you need to try it NOW you gotta have it NOW even though there’s like seven pounds of it and some will probably be in the fridge for the next two weeks eat it NOOOOW”
my mother GENUINELY caged me against the counter and threatened to + tried to physically overpower me to get me to have some. so uncomfortable. get away from me. you’re the one that said i was getting fat.
Honestly disturbed because people forget that having an 3D isn’t one size fits all (ironically). It’s not a fad or a crash diet and you aren’t always uw.
It’s literally a mental illness.
I wouldn’t wish this shit on my worst enemy and sometimes we post here just to vent or have a safe space.
Some of y’all are lowkey insufferable.
Just because you’re drowning in an ocean and someone else is drowning in a bathtub doesn’t mean you’re both not DROWNING??
Jfc some of the takes I see on here are insane.
scrolling edblr at social events…
Ill always feel like a wannarexic because I'm not underweight
yeah, fast broken today… got to 66.5 hours beforehand though, and i didn’t overeat when i actually broke it, despite being in a social, food-centred environment! today’s wieiad
WIEIAD: Thursday, July 16th, 2026
unsalted almonds: 100
quarter of a slice of a matcha crepe cake: 36
TOTAL: 136 Calories
plus plus plus! i did a TON more walking than i usually do! almost 6k! nothing compared to some other people on here, but im EXTREMELY sedentary, so this is huge for me (￣▽￣*)ゞsupposedly burnt maybe ~900 calories? potential overestimating, potential underestimating? a nice deficit either way!! i love my gf, she’s so caring. understands the in-and-outs of me having an eating disorder and respecting it while still wanting me to get better… big loud yearning sigh
“you’re craving [blank] so instead eat [blank]” im craving food so im instead eating nothing ☆
going out with friends for the next two days and i really don’t want to break my fast. but
tomorrow im meeting up with one group. and that group contains my girlfriend. and a couple days ago she made a matcha crepe cake with her family and really wants me to try it. i dont typically like matcha becuz its just too bitter for me but she said the sweetness in the cake balances it out. problem therein is that i also dislike the sweetness of cake and i am a very. picky eater. even before my ed. even if i doubt id like it, if its brought up and she wants me to try a bite, ill break my fast for it. who am i to refuse her?
on friday im going swimming with a couple different friends even though i really. do not want to. they usually go to a small smoothie joint afterwards. the drinks are all very healthy, extremely so, honestly, but i just. don’t want to eat something i don’t have to. so if we go out to get stuff after the swim, im just gonna say im not hungry/i have my water bottle and don’t need another drink
i am… just BARELY… no longer considered overweight by bmi…
just in general i have a lot of muscle mass but seeing that number being considered overweight was heart wrenching and i dont want to eat a normal amount and be muscular under extra body fat if it means i have to look at my bmi and cry
god forbid a guy go 51 hours without eating… these hoes tryna accuse me of having body dysmorphia. which issss sooooo crazy of them to think and obviously not true and even more obviously not caused by their comments… crazy thing to believe……..
