Hollow Heffalump @hollowheffalump - Tumblr Blog

ok im just going to stick up random photos from the backlog without much logic

this is a rice paddy and a house that john and i stayed in when we went road tripping around indonesia and some of the people we left behind in jakarta went on a MASSIVE SULK and then immediately started their own rival holiday to take revenge

look its a strange combo of milky sweets and sea cucumbers at the chinese market in jak

this was a hot day

dudes ive fixed my camera, dug out some old films from the end of jakarta life AND rediscovered my tumblr password

this is when will and i were languidly languishing in that relaxing phase just after the end of university in 2012. when exams are over but you still have your student house, your friends are all still there and no one is asking what you’re going to do with your life yet

it was great! So we went on a day long bike ride to the Norfolk coast

ok dudes im taking a short break from the fantasy book descriptions because i got bord.

but here’s a previously undiscovered collage! taken from the edge of a concrete amphitheater build by the minions of a megalomaniac

ok professional book review number three, from the toms literary supplement.

**HARRY POTTER***

yas yas yas OBVIOUSLY harry potter was / is a big deal in my life, like he is most other normal people

my version of the book actually had this weird golden sticker on the front that i tried to peel off but then realised was actually somehow moulded into the front cover, so it all got a bit messy.

but i remember my dad buying me this in winchcombe bookshop. and saying that i’d probs like it because everyone was saying it was great. and i started reading it and at the beginning i though it was just rather boring tbh, because harry was stuck in privet drive with the dursleys and those guys are, as we all know, total squares.

but then there was the bit where uncle version tried to hide them in the shack on the island, and there was a storm and then suddenly Hagrid kicks down the door as says “yer a wizard harry” and i was like HOLY COW

i really don't think ive ever felt that excited about a book before or since.

OKAY ARE YOU READY FOR BOOK SERIES NUMERO DOS?

well here it is.

****THE EDGE CHRONICLES****

so this place is as cool as shit. basically the first thing you’ve got to get your head around is that everyone in the world lives on this ledge. called the Edge.

important bits include:

- the deepwoods (far right). these are v. dangerous spooky old woods where the banderbears, wood trolls, gloamglozer (aka satan) etc etc live. if you leave the path from the wood troll village then EVERYONE KNOWS you gonna get screwed. but then twig does just that. foolish sucka..

but don't worry because that’s when the adventures really kick off!

that floaty rock on the left hand side is called Sanctaphrax, and it’s where all the universities and scholars and politicians live. other, smaller rocks float too though, and people build ships to fit around them ---->>> flying boats ---> sky pirates. yes that's right. very cool

Plus you've got to be super careful of that middle section of woods on the map (the twilight woods?) because that’s where everybody goes stark raving nutballs and eventually dies alone. which when you’re thirteen can get rather distressing.

and this is a banderbear, which are like normal bears but with sabre tooth teeth.

Also, something cool is that the guy who wrote these books - before he was an author he drew the illustrations for Horrible Histories!

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR BOOK SERIES REVIEW NUMBER THREE

Hi hi hi

ok I'm nearly thirty and I've spent the last 5 weeks back in the house where i was a teenager. BUT one of the cool moments of nostalgia was looking through the books i read before i left home and HOLY CRAP there are so many good ones. because i loved fantasy books a lot. i still love fantasy books loads. they are just the best.

and so you lucky things here is a run down of the best fantasy books from tom’s life. in chronological order. that’s right, im systematic as fruck.

**FANTASY SERIES NUMBER 1**:

Redwall !!!

In which this mouse calls martin decides he’s totally HAD IT with being enslaved by the weasels, stoats etc and escapes to set up his own secret abby / military base / canteen in the woods where they make great blackberry pies and also get into all sorts of medieval warfare and churn out a series of like twenty amazing books. the books even include the pie recipes! weird. and also just so you know the badgers have their own separate base on the beach in this old hollow mountain called Salmandastron and all the hares have for some reason decided that they’re just gonna work for the badgers... AS KICK ASS WARRRIORZZZ

Mossflower is totally the best one in the series imho (in my humble opinion). its when they first find their home in the forest, which is an old castle inhabited by a wildcat biatthhhhchch and her horde of ratlings but martin and the gang soon show them what’s what.

this is martin btw. a total boss as you can see.

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR NEXT BOOK SERIES IN MY BRAIN

these are some yaks by a mountain river.

after staying in nepal i remember being REALLY enthusiastic about doing research on climate change and nomadic yak herding and traditional tibetan tents, and i even wrote an application to cambridge university to do a masters on polar studies, where i ingeniously argued that the himalayas are the ‘third pole’ so studying yak herding was a totally legitimate idea. but then there was a £50 fee to apply and i thought hmm maybe this is not such a brill idea and i gave up.

that’s perseverance people.

this is when we arrived in our truck at the start of the trek. i remember being v proud of myself because i could organise the transport in nepali and afterwards in my job application spree i even said on my CV that i had ‘moderate nepali’ but low and behold about a month after getting back i had forgotten everything.

i’d really like to learn how to remember things better.

this is matthias the swiss electrician who i lived with for three months. we actually NEVER TALKED after we finished this walk. that's what you get after two weeks in constant company with the tomatron2000

cows being herded. plus jake the american stockbroker.

guys i dug out some old pictures from nepal from my hard drive. these are the dregs that i didnt think were good enough to post to this blog five years ago, because i have v high standards. but luckily for you all my standards have slipped

plus i think these are actually really nice if i edit them using my fascinating new green hue tweaking bar.

So this one is starting off on the annapurna walking trip when we were still in the warm leechy zone

me by maisie OR molly

just look at that dramatic welsh scenery. plus i was probs having lots of dramatic scenic thoughts in my head too! as per. #hotbed/powerhouseof ideas.

molly being pleased by a fossil in a pebble.

i think this is the perfect opportunity for a quote to show how in tune i am with timeless wisdoms

To see a World in a Grain of Sand And a Heaven in a Wild Flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand And Eternity in an hour (William Blake 1997).

BOOM DROPPING WILLBLAKEY IN MY BLOG rahraharah. am also working on the design of a giant dragon tattoo from his book to go on my back.

this is a different maiz molly and tom hang out episode but this one is actually in wales NOT indonesia. we went surfing in that place near where they make steel but no profits (yes thats right this blog is also an intellectual commentary on britain’s economy).

Actually its only maiz but photos of molly and then tom will be next in this hotly followed mini-series!

TRUE STORY: i let the zipper at the back of wetsuit come open when trying to surf in the water and then had a freezing meltdown

CHECK OUT THIS PICTURE IM V PROUD OF IT IT LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE FROM NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC

if i do rather humbly say so myself. also molly it makes you look noble

this water fall was nice because at the same time it was very loud with the sound of crashing water but also very quiet because of all the white noise and i felt quite peaceful

so i just stood there for a bit feeling my legs ache. molly was much more active

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