holomel

"Just for once try to see life poetically. And life will call out your name even more poetic." -melarissa A professional daydream and chocolate worshiper. Indonesian. In love with words.

[holomel]

The fringe of my heart keeps pulling me into that blackhole, a destination I always avoid, that has your gravity echoing, ringing through my hammered bones. The bones that mistook your thorns as flowers until they grow into a garden of shattered glass. You sewed my heart to my limbs, that now I can't take control of them and I just want to be somebody you can use. You see, my eyes keep beholding your moon, that bleeds darkness instead of light. My hands clutch into your skin while you pluck my feathers I voluntarily offer. I let my wings go barren so I can collect rays of sunshine from the ground and water them to you. Because I know you are made of light, my dear. Your light that pulls me constantly into the dark constellation specially strung up for me from the broken truth. It lights the flickering fire you left on my lips and heart. The flame spreads inside out, my whole body was just another house on fire no firefighters dare to step into. Traces of heat you finger painted along my cracking skin are worthy of the moon's applause, because despite the stains you left, my heart still beats innocence for you. I hang the moon over my head, begging it to slit open my chest that does not stop waving for help. Begging it to witness my silly heart humming all the "I love you's" until I stop saying sorry to myself. . #moonbeholder #streetart #littletokyo #katieyamasaki #poetry #poems #poem (at Little Tokyo Japanese Village)

[holomel]

Heart and Head: A Conversation . . “They’re not kidding when they say it’s going to be painful,” Heart ponders. Head stares at their painted rainbow wings, complementing the sparkled pink sky. “What is?” Heart squints at the pair of wings, wishing the colors would melt. “Growing up.” Head laughs. “You’re always drawn to pain in ways that don’t make sense.” A brief silence. There’s no denial in that. Heart is drown in her sorrow. . “I have faced different realities that are never promised. I seek my reflection in everyone’s eyes just to fall in love with myself. I imprison my shadows especially when they’re weaved with the trembling night. I get restless when my skin and bones travel so far from the delicate truth of love. I throw my fragments out to people I cross paths with just to burst from this bubble, but I always come back even more cracked than before. I do not fit. I hold onto a thin string while wishing I would grow bigger so I’d have more space for all my lows and highs. Yet, I get blindfolded by the unmended pain, or a sliver of the past. I ache, more than I’m supposed to. Every time I howl at the moon, it’s a cry of despair. I’m just a face in the crowd.” . Head recalls the fingerprints of everyone who’s read her pages. How she always falls apart after running away from them. How she lets the space in her narrow instead of loosening up. But Head also sees moments of victory, ones that Heart fails to reclaim. The monsters she had slain, or the solitude she broke free from, shine on each color of the rainbow, blasting with every shade and hue. Most of all, Heart acknowledges the pain she's had unapologetically. She shows courage through every tear she sheds. Head understands how as time elapses, heart will weep. Big time. But she will also renegade and float to point back to her north. . "Of course you fall sometimes. Of course it’s empty sometimes and weakness will take its toll. But that’s why you have these wings. Just spread them and try to go to higher places. Soar away. Like you always do. You’re allowed to be so much more.” . . #poetry #poems #poem #colettemiller #colettemillerwings #globalangelwingsproject #losangeles #growingup (at Melrose Avenue)

[holomel]

We play in the open, where our hearts are the wilding, and our fire smear over the viridescent field, batting the wind that tries to take us down. We dance at the outfield, where we sway in far-reaching distance, running to catch what we have, letting the butterflies make a home run for us. We look at the rising moon, crawling on our skin, and fuse together, in this perfect game. . #poetry #poems #poem #baseball #dodgerstadium #grateful (at Dodger Stadium)

[holomel]

only you've got the caliber to knit the stars in your hands and shine brighter than the earthlight . yet you bind them with shadows of fear as you walk around in circles . only you've got the wildest heart no sun can pierce through, why let it be tamed? . shine on. . #lessonoftheday #poetry #poems #poem #happiness (at Griffith Observatory)

[holomel]

I have been floating through the dark galaxy to find clusters of lining stars and borrow their light reflection. But I fall back to earth for the gravity you offer makes me shine brighter than a million of stars ever could. . Thank you, Mama. A believer who fuses in the sunlight of our dreams, A fighter who is strong as a rock, passionate as the ocean’s wave. . Happy Mother’s Day. Happy birthday. . #mother #mothersday #birthday #love #poem #poems #poetry #family #life (at The Last Bookstore)

[holomel]

Despite the pain crushing your bones, you fly my soul between the parting white clouds and keep my toes planted firmly on the ground, you shower gentle rain kisses on my bruised skin until I'm drenched in soft rays and bloom scented flowers in my eyes so each wink radiates mere beauty, you send rainbow above my head just to see my smile caressing your raw soul the way you have always known, because what are mothers for if not to be your friend? . #happiness #family #mother #poetry #poems #poem #centralperk #friends #warnerbrosstudios #wbtourhollywood #fulbright #fulbrightjourney (at Central Perk Warner Bros Studio)

[holomel]

You, at least once, must have thought you were something beautiful that fell short and impoverished when your radiant dreams did not illuminate like the sunrise's soft tendrils of light graze your skin. but dear, the interval between despair and that leap of faith is just a sunrise away. . 📷: @riskariyani . #poetry #poems #poem #hiking #hollywoodsign #meratapinasib #anakhilang #fulbright #fulbrightjourney (at Hollywood Sign View Point)

[holomel]

love steals you away; for it knows we were only meant to be a beautiful memory; no longer a comma, finishing as a period; detangle the knitted rainbows; let the past be only as our sweet remembrance. . #poetry #poems #goodbye #poem #remembrance (at Hollywood Sign View Point)

[holomel]

DOOWYLLOH . City of stars remind you that you are not just a random star resting beside the moon like its exquisite child. You mold the roadways that align the universe, the moon, the sun, and other stars. And in between, You lose yourself to the dreams that truly shine from the freshly painted indigo sky. Maybe you’re one star not everyone can see. But when you appear, oh such wonder you bring. You are not just a random star. You exist beautifully. . #poetry #poems #poem #hollywoodsign #hollywood #hiking #fulbright #fulbrightjourney (at Behind the Hollywood Sign, Los Angeles)

[holomel]

You are the book I would effortlessly say “I do” to. The first page strips away expectations, and I immediately know that I have found my favorite book. I love the feeling when the weight of your spine rests on my palm, assuring me to read what’s inside. Assuring to read what’s written for me. Someday I might find the pages tarnished, some edges browned, and letters faded. I would thumb through pages as words float, dissipate slowly. Don’t worry when your ripped pages show how fragile you are, my dear. For I love your curled up edges, coffee-stained cover, and everything you have not dared to share with other readers. I will read you in my eternity, tracing every word with intensity of our soul searching and delicacy of our dream sharing as the sunset wanes off into the evening. When the moonrise showers your pages to the very last one, I will be the reader you won’t forget. . Dearest @priscaakhaya, congratulations on your wedding day! Sorry that I can't be there to celebrate the true bond of love you share that can never be compared. I'm happy to be able to witness the romance you both share all these years. I wish you all the happiness this life could possibly bring. Love you, soul sister. Love you, mi chica ❤ . Ps: you look stunningly beautiful. . #wedding #weddingday #priscajerry #michica #adaytocelebrate #poetry #poems #poem #happiness #celebration

[holomel]

Is it a crime, that I let uncertainties fill my scarred lungs? Is it a crime, that the letdown I clutched tight still flows in my cracked bones? Is it a crime, that I radiate pain every time I hear your name? You have never given me the delicacy I deserve. You made me crumble and wreck, even before I could understand what hope really meant. I had created and built fiery expectations about you, which might have just be the purest and simplest form of my mortal enemy. It’s cold, it’s bitter. I have erased you through time that flickers away. I had waited long enough to ask you to remember me. I was once part of your branches, yet I have grown to be my own tree. I will not return to that root of my broken heart... though I never really left. #afterthought #poetry #poems #poem

[holomel]

A woman will ceaselessly scorch your doubts like the stellar sun that lets you wonder about tomorrows, she sings in the bone-chilling cold unfurling a thousand glowing embers and seduces despair with her wild dreams, she weeps courageously with gracefulness, she is not afraid of what lies ahead that longs for her momentous substance, as you'll learn her satin boatload beauty will bestow your thoughts with chants, because a woman dares not to squander your love like the wasted space in your bed . Happy International Women's Day! . Ps: borrowing your pic @jmiiid haha . #poems #poem #poetry #internationalwomensday #fulbright #fulbrightjourney #women #womenempowerment (at Squaw Valley Ski Resort)

[holomel]

At times, I find my breaths scattered with overloaded grits that fill the creaking cracks on my helpless heart. At times, I can only be bolder under the pale moon. At times, I would be bathed in grime and hit rock walls. At times, I tirelessly, awkwardly try to fit in like a jackhammer, until I stumble, tumble, and realize I am only a splinter that pierce their skin. At times, I just want to shrink away with the ache. Dreary. But hey, a warrior is allowed not to silence her pain. What other sign of courage do you possibly need, besides living through the wounds? #poems #poetry #poem #fulbright #fulbrightjourney #monterey (at Monterey, California)

[holomel]

You hold that magic on your fingertips when the colorful crystal balls juggle over my head make me spin and spin and crash hard to the ground after experiencing your beautifully woven tracks, like thunder you break the speed of my heartbeat, yet I will never get tired of tracing your route. . Drag my heart through your rough and rusted edges, and you will be the most magical and perfect ride for me. . #poetry #poems #harrypotter #poem #universalstudios (at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios Hollywood)

[holomel]

There will come times when the uncertainty you breathe fills your wounded lungs and every time you speak, it echoes in your ears, the letdown you clutch tight flows in your cracked bones that every motion you make radiates pain, or the sorrow you absorb tortures your skin violently, rottening your soul. Yes, there will come times when the rain pours relentlessly, savagely. But always remember one thing you have, that roars in your loudest silence and embroils the butterflies that slip through the harrowing scars: A smile. When the light of hope's gone missing, your smile will guide you to it. #poetry #poems #poem #smile #dreams #dreamscometrue #fulbright #fulbrightjourney (at Santa Clarita, California)

[holomel]

Atlanta taught me to grapple tons of bricks thrown directly to weigh my shoulders and stalk the whole world to wail louder than aloud, to tear this overgrown field of fears levitating my pride, to let my spilling demons fight the haunting hunters, and yes - it will be a mess, I might crawl and shrink away, sore paws and legs between times, punctuated by the deafening silence, but hear, oh just hear my roaring, a chaotic melody that constantly echoes to beautify all that I am. . #poetry #poems #fulbright #fulbrightatlanta2017 #fulbrightjourney #poem (at Atlanta, Georgia)

[holomel]

I have withered, stepped on, faded, wilted, fallen, undeserving of gentleness, yet you are still here letting me to willfully lay on a bed of thorns you make, as I attempt to lift the thorns off of my skin you push them deeper into my flesh . Why? Why am I still here? . #poetry #poems #poem #flower #withering #unrequitedlove