HOLY SEXUALITY

Inviting people to enter the yearnings of the heart. Holy Sexuality is a space to discuss Catholic Sexuality by and for Catholics. WARNING: Some material shared here may be too mature for those under 18.

[holy-sexuality]

We are still no longer posting, but our search engine is no longer working. If you would like to search our tags, please use the following link: https://holy-sexuality.tumblr.com/tagged/[tag]

so if you wanted to look up “sexuality” it would be the URL with “tagged/sexuality”. If it’s more than one word, write it with a dash in the middle, such as “tagged/emotional-chastity”

[holy-sexuality]

Announcement:

While we are not deleting this blog, we are closing the inbox indefinitely and will not be posting on it anymore. After some prayer and conversation on the matter, we decided that we are moving on to other things, though we know some of you enjoy the resources and posts we have shared in the past.

We ask that, should you wish to find anything to read, to go through the following tags:

#chastity

#emotional chastity

#sexuality

#married sex or marital sex or marital sexuality

#premarital sex

#cohabitation

#abstinence

#purity culture

#lgbt or #ssa

#catholic or catholic church

#quotes

#anti-porn or #porn or porn gif (we used the last two tags on purpose to put them in the less-than-stellar circles on tumblr)

#child marriage

#sex trafficking

#prostitution

#celibacy

#sexual assault or rape

#masturbation

and other related topics such as polygamy, lust, sexual sin, master post, resources, etc

This blog has had a wild run from start to finish, and we are humbled to see it have helped many people over the years. While this blog will no longer be active, we pray that everyone walks away from this feeling that much closer to the Truth and to God.

Blessings,

Emerald and PSOSA

[yhwh-yireh-deactivated20230130]

Hello, I had a particular question ... Where is written in the Bible, in which verses I mean, that two people that love each other, cannot have sex before marriage? I tried to find the point by myself, but I didn't so I thought maybe you would know and answer my question Thank you

Hello!Saint Paul in his letters addresses sexual immorality / conduct in a few places. A passage that I can suggest is 1 Corinthians but a quick google on this topic will bring up lots of info.

Whilst the Bible / New Testament might not spell out “sex before marriage” it does talk about Fornication and sexual sins. Fornication primarily stands for unlawful sex which is sex outside of marriage as well as perverse sexual actions (homosexuality).

Jesus in the Gospels talks about the importance of marriage so that implicitly to me speaks of where sex should happen to be lawful.

Hope this helps! God bless,Gabriele

[holy-sexuality]

What Actually Would Happen If These 10 Porn Scenarios Happened in Real Life

If mainstream porn continually teaches them that people who say no to sex at first will eventually give in, it’s ok for a boss to take advantage of their employee...

[antiplon99]

I grew up in the 1960s on the West Side of Chicago. My mother died when I was six months old. She was only 16 and I never learned what it was that she died from - my grandmother, who drank more than most, couldn’t tell me later on.

It was my grandmother that took care of me. And she wasn’t a bad person - in fact she had a side to her that was so wonderful. She read to me, baked me stuff and cooked the best sweet potatoes. She just had this drinking problem. She would bring drinking partners home from the bar and after she got intoxicated and passed out these men would do things to me. It started when I was four or five years old and it became a regular occurrence. I’m certain my grandmother didn’t know anything about it. 

She worked as a domestic in the suburbs. It took her two hours to get to work and two hours to get home. So I was a latch-key kid - I wore a key around my neck and I would take myself to kindergarten and let myself back in at the end of the day. And the molesters knew about that, and they took advantage of it.

I would watch women with big glamorous hair and sparkly dresses standing on the street outside our house. I had no idea what they were up to; I just thought they were shiny. As a little girl, all I ever wanted was to be shiny. 

One day I asked my grandmother what the women were doing and she said, “Those women take their panties off and men give them money.” And I remember saying to myself, “I’ll probably do that” because men had already been taking my panties off. 

To look back now, I dealt with it all amazingly well. Alone in that house, I had imaginary friends to keep me company that I would sing and dance around with - an imaginary Elvis Presley, an imaginary Diana Ross and the Supremes. I think that helped me deal with things.

Even though I was a smart kid, I disconnected from school. Going into the 1970s, I became the kind of girl who didn’t know how to say “no” - if the little boys in the community told me that they liked me or treated me nice, they could basically have their way with me. By the time I was 14, I’d had two children with boys in the community, two baby girls. My grandmother started to say that I needed to bring in some money to pay for these kids, because there was no food in the house, we had nothing. 

So, one evening - it was actually Good Friday - I went along to the corner of Division Street and Clark Street and stood in front of the Mark Twain hotel. I was wearing a two-piece dress costing $3.99, cheap plastic shoes, and some orange lipstick which I thought might make me look older. 

I was 14 years old and I cried through everything. But I did it. I didn’t like it, but the five men who dated me that night showed me what to do. They knew I was young and it was almost as if they were excited by it. 

I made $400 but I didn’t get a cab home that night. I went home by train and I gave most of that money to my grandmother, who didn’t ask me where it came from. 

The following weekend I returned to Division and Clark, and it seemed like my grandmother was happy when I brought the money home. 

But the third time I went down there, a couple of guys pistol-whipped me and put me in the trunk of their car. They had approached me before because I was, as they called it, “unrepresented” on the street. All I knew was the light in the trunk of the car and then the faces of these two guys with their pistol. First they took me to a cornfield out in the middle of nowhere and raped me. Then they took me to a hotel room and locked me in the closet. That’s the kind of thing pimps will do to break a girl’s spirits. They kept me in there for a long time. I was begging them to let me out because I was hungry, but they would only allow me out of the closet if I agreed to work for them.

They pimped me for a while, six months or so. I wasn’t able to go home. I tried to get away but they caught me, and when they caught me they hurt me so bad. Later on, I was trafficked by other men. The physical abuse was horrible, but the real abuse was the mental abuse - the things they would say that would just stick and which you could never get from under. 

Pimps are very good at torture, they’re very good at manipulation. Some of them will do things like wake you in the middle of the night with a gun to your head. Others will pretend that they value you, and you feel like, “I’m Cinderella, and here comes my Prince Charming”. They seem so sweet and so charming and they tell you: “You just have to do this one thing for me and then you’ll get to the good part.” And you think, “My life has already been so hard, what’s a little bit more?” But you never ever do get to the good part. 

When people describe prostitution as being something that is glamorous, elegant, like in the story of Pretty Woman, well that doesn’t come close to it. A prostitute might sleep with five strangers a day. Across a year, that’s more than 1,800 men she’s having sexual intercourse or oral sex with. These are not relationships, no one’s bringing me any flowers here, trust me on that. They’re using my body like a toilet. 

And the johns - the clients - are violent. I’ve been shot five times, stabbed 13 times. I don’t know why those men attacked me, all I know is that society made it comfortable for them to do so. They brought their anger or whatever it was and they decided to wreak havoc on a prostitute, knowing I couldn’t go to the police and if I did I wouldn’t be taken seriously. I actually count myself very lucky. I knew some beautiful girls who were murdered out there on the streets.

I prostituted for 14 or 15 years before I did any drugs. But after a while, after you’ve turned as many tricks as you can, after you’ve been strangled, after someone’s put a knife to your throat or someone’s put a pillow over your head, you need something to put a bit of courage in your system. 

I was a prostitute for 25 years, and in all that time I never once saw a way out. But on 1 April 1997, when I was nearly 40 years old, a customer threw me out of his car. My dress got caught in the door and he dragged me six blocks along the ground, tearing all the skin off my face and the side of my body. 

I went to the County Hospital in Chicago and they immediately took me to the emergency room. Because of the condition I was in, they called in a police officer, who looked me over and said: “Oh I know her. She’s just a hooker. She probably beat some guy and took his money and got what she deserved.” And I could hear the nurse laughing along with him. They pushed me out into the waiting room as if I wasn’t worth anything, as if I didn’t deserve the services of the emergency room after all.

And it was at that moment, while I was waiting for the next shift to start and for someone to attend to my injuries, that I began to think about everything that had happened in my life. Up until that point I had always had some idea of what to do, where to go, how to pick myself up again. Suddenly it was like I had run out of bright ideas.

A doctor came and took care of me and she asked me to go and see social services in the hospital. What I knew about social services was they were anything but social. But they gave me a bus pass to go to a place called Genesis House, which was run by an awesome Englishwoman named Edwina Gateley, who became a great hero and mentor for me. She helped me turn my life around. It was a safe house, and I had everything that I needed there. I didn’t have to worry about paying for clothes, food, getting a job. They told me to take my time and stay as long as I needed - and I stayed almost two years. My face healed, my soul healed. I got Brenda back. 

Usually, when a woman gets out of prostitution, she doesn’t want to talk about it. What man will accept her as a wife? What person will hire her in their employment? And to begin with, after I left Genesis House, that was me too. I just wanted to get a job, pay my taxes and be like everybody else. But I started to do some volunteering with sex workers and to help a university researcher with her fieldwork. After a while I realised that nobody was helping these young ladies. Nobody was going back and saying, “That’s who I was, that’s where I was. This is who I am now. You can change too, you can heal too.” So in 2008, together with Stephanie Daniels-Wilson, we founded the Dreamcatcher Foundation. 

A dreamcatcher is a Native American object that you hang near a child’s cot. It is supposed to chase away children’s nightmares. That’s what we want to do - we want to chase away those bad dreams, those bad things that happen to young girls and women. The recent documentary film Dreamcatcher, directed by Kim Longinotto, showed the work that we do. We meet up with women who are still working on the street and we tell them, “There is a way out, we’re ready to help you when you’re ready to be helped.” We try to get through that brainwashing that says, “You’re born to do this, there’s nothing else for you.“ 

I also run after-school clubs with young girls who are exactly like I was in the 1970s. I can tell as soon as I meet a girl if she is in danger, but there is no fixed pattern. You might have one girl who’s quiet and introverted and doesn’t make eye contact. Then there might be another who’s loud and obnoxious and always getting in trouble. They’re both suffering abuse at home but they’re dealing with it in different ways - the only thing they have in common is that they are not going to talk about it. But in time they understand that I have been through what they’re going through, and then they talk to me about it.

People say different things about prostitution. Some people think that it would actually help sex workers more if it were decriminalized. I think it’s true to say that every woman has her own story. It may be OK for this girl, who is paying her way through law school, but not for this girl, who was molested as a child, who never knew she had another choice, who was just trying to get money to eat. 

But let me say this too. However the situation starts off for a girl, that’s not how the situation will end up. It might look OK now, the girl in law school might say she only has high-end clients that come to her through an agency, that she doesn’t work on the streets but arranges to meet people in hotel rooms, but the first time that someone hurts her, that’s when she really sees her situation for what it is. You always get that crazy guy slipping through and he has three or four guys behind him, and they force their way into your room and gang rape you, and take your phone and all your money. And suddenly you have no means to make a living and you’re beaten up too. That is the reality of prostitution.

Three years ago, I became the first woman in the state of Illinois to have her convictions for prostitution wiped from her record. It was after a new law was brought in, following lobbying from the Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation, a group that seeks to shift the criminal burden away from the victims of sexual trafficking. Women who have been tortured, manipulated and brainwashed should be treated as survivors, not criminals.

So I am here to tell you - there is life after so much damage, there is life after so much trauma. There is life after people have told you that you are nothing, that you are worthless and that you will never amount to anything. There is life - and I’m not just talking about a little bit of life. There is a lot of life.

[womyn-are-rad-deactivated202003]

What a brave woman

[frmatthewlc]

I was working on something else & remembered this article which I think is worth sharing every so often.

[theresasaintforthat]

St. Joseph, foster father to Jesus, is patron saint of fathers.

St. Augustine had a son before his conversion. He loved his child very much, and the two would be baptized together.

St. Thomas More had four children by his first wife and an adopted stepdaughter by his second wife.

St. Simon of Cyrene’s sons, Rufus and Alexander, were missionaries.

St. Louis Martin and his wife had nine children together, five of whom would survive into adulthood. After Zélie’s death, Louis was left alone to finish raising his beloved daughters.

St. Louis IX was married at twenty to a devoted Christian. They had eleven children together, two of whom passed away in infancy.

St. Joachim had a daughter, Mary, who would herself go on to be mother to God incarnate. Joachim is Jesus’s grandfather!

St. Zachariah and his wife had a son late in life, though Elizabeth was barren. That son would become a prophet and foretold the coming of Jesus, the Messiah.

St. Homobonus and his wife were unable to have children, so Homobonus devoted his resources to caring for abandoned children.

St. Basil the Elder was father to nine or ten children, five of whom are canonized saints.

Bl. Charles of Austria and his wife were deeply in love and raised eight children together. Charles’s last words to his wife were “I love you endlessly”.

[caffeinatedcatholic]

I’ve always struggled to find saints to pray to who were married or parents bc the single saints vastly outnumber them, but dang there are so many more than you think. It’s so important to see saints in every vocation and to know that marriage and parenthood is another path to sainthood, not just a fluke for a few holy men and women.

[by-grace-of-god]

Marriage: Icon of Holy Trinity

St. John Paul II - Theology of the Body

“The theology of the body consists of a searching analysis of biblical texts that reveal the mystery of the body, sexuality, and marriage at three critical “levels” of human experience:

as man experienced them “in the beginning” before sin (Original Man);

as man experiences them in human history affected by sin, yet redeemed in Christ (Historical Man);

and as man will experience them in the resurrection of the body (Eschatological Man).

This forms his “adequate anthropology.” He continues his catechesis by analyzing scriptural passages that reveal the meaning of Christian celibacy and Christian marriage in light of this “total vision of man.” He then concludes with a reflection on Humanae Vitae demonstrating that “the doctrine contained in this document is organically related to the whole biblical question of the theology of the body” (General Audience 11/28/84).

According to John Paul, by reflecting on these three levels of “experiencing” the body, sexuality, and marriage, we discover the very structure and deepest reality of human identity – we find our place in the cosmos and even penetrate the mystery of the Trinitarian God.

How is this so through contemplating the body, sex, and marriage? As John Paul shows us, the question of sexuality and marriage is not a peripheral issue. In fact, he says the call to “nuptial love” inscribed in our bodies is “the fundamental element of human existence in the world” (General Audience 1/16/80). In light of Ephesians 5, he even says that the ultimate truth about the “great mystery” of marriage “is in a certain sense the central theme of the whole of revelation, its central reality” (General Audience 9/8/82).

This is to say that everything God wants to tell us on earth about who he is, the meaning of life, the reason he created us, how we are to live, as well as our ultimate destiny, is contained somehow in the meaning of the human body and the call of male and female to become “one body” in marriage.

How? Pointing always to the Scriptures, the Holy Father reminds us that the Christian mystery itself is a mystery about marriage – the marriage between Christ and the Church. Yes, God’s plan from all eternity is to draw us into the closest communion with himself – to “marry” us! Jesus took on a body so we could become “one body” with him (which we do in the Eucharist).

… John Paul says, “[the body] was created to transfer in the visible reality of the world the invisible mystery hidden since time immemorial in God, and thus be a sign of it” (General Audience 2/20/80). This striking declaration brings us to the summit of John Paul’s anthropology (his understanding of man), crystallizing everything he has to say about the body. The human body reveals the mystery of God!

But what particular characteristic of the body allows us to understand it this way? The answer is its sexuality, its unifying complementarity as male and female.

…“Communion of persons” (communio personarum in Latin) is a key concept for John Paul. The marital embrace is not merely a union of bodies, but a communion of persons brought about through the body. And this communion of persons in “one flesh” is an icon of the inner-life of the Trinity!”

- Christopher West, The Pope’s Theology of the Body

^^ THIS is why I denounce any attempts from society to normalize gay ‘marriage’ , numerous sexual deviances and distorted gender ideologies.

Mess with marriage and you’re messing with my God. 

[holy-sexuality]

Nash spoke of the UK TV personality Davina McCall, who reportedly said a wife must satisfy her husband in the bedroom “even if you’re absolutely exhausted.” If not, “he will go somewhere else.” Following the statement, many critics compared McCall to a “1950s housewife.” “Actually,” Nash said, “that’s not a comment from the 1950s. That is the sexualized 21st century speaking…There’s nothing that odd about her saying that within the context of a very sexualized society that says people have a right to sex, they have a right to sexual gratification, and therefore, frankly, women should just be expected to deliver it.

Are we less free than a 1950s housewife? A look at contraception (via holy-sexuality)

[catholiccom-blog]

Thinking It Through: The Consequences of Polygamy

Defenders of traditional marriage argue that redefining marriage to include same-sex unions undermines marital permanency (lifelong union) and exclusivity (only one spouse). If biological sex doesn’t matter, they argue, then why should duration and number?

This is called a reductio ad absurdum argument. It attempts to show the absurd conclusions that legal recognition of same-sex marriage logically leads to, namely, the legal recognition of “temporary marriage” as well as multiple-partner marriage.

Not so absurd anymore

The problem is that our culture is becoming desensitized to the absurdity of these conclusions. For example, a 2009 Newsweek article stated that the United States already has over 500 thousand polyamorous households. The article concludes that perhaps the practice is more normal than we think, suggesting, “[I]t’s only a matter of time before the monogamous world sees there’s more than one way to live and love.”

In a 2013 Washington Post article, lawyer Paul Rampell introduced what he calls “wedleases”: marriage leases where two people commit themselves to each other for a period of years—one, five, ten, or whatever term suits the couple. At the end of the term the couple can choose to renew the marital lease or not. And according to a new USA Network survey, forty-three percent of millennials ages eighteen to thirty-four prefer to this kind of setup to traditional marriage.

Mounting a defense

Since we can no longer assume that the culture views the above unions as absurd, defenders of traditional marriage must mount a different defense of permanency and exclusivity. And the way to do this is the same way we defend sexual complementarity in marriage: we look to nature’s design for human sexuality.

In part one of my two-part article “Bringing Sanity to Sex,” I showed that nature ordains sex for procreation—that is to say, our sexed bodies are ordered toward the begetting of children. Part two lays out the rationale behind the unitive dimension of human sex—because we’re human, the procreative end necessarily involves an interpersonal union of knowledge and love.

This line of reasoning suffices to show that nature orders human sexuality to a heterosexual union, but falls short in rounding out the picture of traditional marriage; namely, that such a union is permanent and exclusive. This requires more unpacking.

Let’s take permanency first.

Till death do us part

Marital permanency flows from both the procreative and unitive ends of human sex. Consider the procreative, which necessarily involves not just creating but raising children. When nature has her way, child rearing can be required until eighteen to twenty years after the mother is no longer fertile due to age.

Child rearing even demands that the union be lifelong because the education parents provide their children doesn’t stop when their children move out on their own. Children need parents to provide help and counsel as they start their own families. Even in old age, parents educate their children by providing an example of how to stay faithful throughout marriage, how to handle retirement, and how to be good grandparents. As any parent with grown children living outside the home will say, “You never stop being a parent.”

Permanency also flows from the unitive dimension of sex. The sexual union of man and woman is an interpersonal communion of love. How could it be true love if it were conditional? Imagine a husband saying on the altar, “I’ll love you for only the period of time needed to rear our children. After that, I’m gone!” That’s absurd. Without the lifelong commitment, it wouldn’t be a true communion of love. Practically speaking separation later in life could create hardships for survival, especially for the woman. Subjecting a spouse to such hardship is likewise contrary to marital love.

So, the procreative and unitive dimensions of human sex not only demand a heterosexual union, but a lifelong heterosexual union.

What of exclusivity?

“A man shall leave his father and cleave to his wife”

By exclusivity I mean a man cannot simultaneously have more than one wife (polygamy) or a wife more than one husband (polyandry). Let’s look at it from the side of man first.

Although polygamy does not pervert the primary end of human sex, namely, procreation and the provision of the children’s basic needs, it does violate the unitive end and makes child rearing less perfect.

For example, in polygamous relationships there is no equality between husband and wife. Consider how the husband is in a position to demand all the service, attention, and love of his wife, but she must divide the service, attention, and love of her husband with many others. Such inequality makes her inferior to her husband. As the late Rev. Michael Cronin writes, “Before her children and the world she stands in the position little better than that of the slave” (Science of Ethics, Vol. II, 421). It’s obvious this doesn’t jibe with the unitive dimension of heterosexual unions.

Motherly competition likewise brings disastrous effects upon the household. Each mother vies for the attention and affections of the common husband. The mothers also compete not to fall into inferior positions in the household. This competition is a recpe for jealousy, which then finds its way into every part of the family, rendering the happiness and contentment of the parents impossible.

Finally, no one in his right mind would say that it’s better for a child to grow up in a home where the condition of the mother is degraded, there is hatred among the mothers, and human affection is lacking for both the women and the children. Polygamy, therefore, is contrary to nature’s design for a lifelong heterosexual union.

“A man shall leave his father and cleave to his wife”

The above arguments against polygamy apply to polyandry as well. However, unlike polygamy, polyandry also contradicts the primary end of human sex: the procreation and basic rearing of children.

Consider procreation. In the case of polygamy, the greater number of women a man possesses, the greater number of children can be born. Therefore, polygamy at least harmonizes with nature’s purpose of sex in propagating the human race. Polyandry, on the other hand, can play no part in nature’s scheme to be fruitful and multiply because a woman cannot bear more children by having more husbands. Cronin puts it succinctly: “Nature has no use for such a union, and consequently it lies completely outside the natural order” (Science of Ethics, Vol. II, 427).

We can also prove that polyandry is unreasonable in light of the father’s natural desire to know and have communion with his offspring. St. Thomas Aquinas puts the argument this way:  

[M]an naturally desires to know his offspring, and this knowledge would be completely destroyed if there were several males for one female. Therefore, that one female is for one male is a consequence of natural instinct” (Summa Contra Gentiles, III:124:1).

Therefore, polyandry cannot be a part of nature’s design for heterosexual unions.

Nature’s ordering to heterosexual marriage

Nature has ordained sex to be essentially procreative and unitive, and as such it orders human sex to heterosexual unions alone. But because these dimensions necessarily demand such a heterosexual union to be lifelong and exclusive, we can say that nature orders human sexuality to what has been traditionally called marriage—the lifelong union between one man and one woman ordered toward the generation and rearing of offspring.

With permanency and exclusivity grounded in nature’s blueprint for heterosexual unions, it becomes clear why the removal of biological sex in the redefinition of marriage necessarily makes the application of the “marriage” label arbitrary. If nature does not require sexual complementarity in marriage, then it has no bearing on the duration of marriage or the number of persons involved. Once “marriage” is divorced from nature there is nothing in principle to stop those in power from defining marriage however they want. It’s a blank check for marriage. And that is truly absurd.

[holy-sexuality]

WOF 079: The Spirituality of Marriage | The Word on Fire Show

Marriage has been one of the most talked about topics in the news over the past decade. Despite all the interest surrounding the institution of marriage, the numbers of people actually getting married has dwindled....

Marriage has been one of the most talked about topics in the news over the past decade. Despite all the interest surrounding the institution of marriage, the numbers of people actually getting married has dwindled. In this episode Bishop Barron explores the beauty and goodness of married life by discussing the spirituality that undergirds this timeless institution. The listener question wonders what will happen to marriages in heaven.

Topics Discussed

0:05  – Introduction and the Vogt’s visit to Santa Barbara

2:00 – Why has the number of people getting married declined?

6:30 – What is the number one priority in being a husband or wife?

8:40 – What is the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony?

10:07 – What is the key to a healthy marriage?

16:00 – How can a celibate priest be an authority on marriage?

19:50 – Why does the Catholic Church demand an openness to children within a marriage?

22:20 – Advice from Bishop Barron for people who aren’t sure if they ever want to get married

23:40 – Advice from Bishop Barron for those who aspire for marriage

25:30 – Advice from Bishop Barron for those discerning marriage within their current relationship

26:27 – Advice from Bishop Barron for those who are struggling through a difficult marriage or a divorce

27:20 – Question from listener: Will I be with my wife as husband and wife in heaven?

[all-gods-children]

SO hold on for this ride please and thanks. 

So I was just talking to some random dude (I refuse to call him a man tbh) online and he was sweet talking me and being so kind and charming. Then it came up that I’m saving myself for marriage. And suddenly now he’s all like “oh yeah right, you’re just another easy girl looking for an easy time.” And I’m kinda sitting here scratching my head right now because I’m not really sure where he got all that out of “I’m saving myself for my future husband,” but to each his own.

I know a lot of my followers are younger, so I just wanted to say something really quick before I go to bed. Young ladies, there are going to be a lot of guys who sweet talk you. There are going to be a lot of guys who tell you the things they know you want to hear. Then these same guys will become hostile when you say you’re waiting. Or when you let them know that you’re staying pure for your God. The guy that was just kind and sweet to you suddenly becomes your biggest hater. And let me tell you something: he’s not worth your time, and he’s not worth your thoughts. What he says about you has no hold over your life. Your identity comes from God alone. If that boy gets mad because you won’t sacrifice your values just to give him a good time, that’s his problem, not yours. The right kind of man will not even think of asking you to do that for him. The right kind of man will be going to church with you and reading the Bible with you rather than angrily asking you why you won’t sleep with him.

Young sister in Christ, hear me when I tell you that you are what GOD says you are. You are not what that childish boy says you are. You are not what anyone in the world says you are. You are a cherished daughter of the Most High King. You are worth the life of your King. Don’t let that boy pressure you into giving up your values for one night just to please him. Don’t let that boy make you think there’s anything wrong with you because you’re saving yourself. You are worth the life of your King.

This goes for young men in Christ, too!! If that girl wants you to give yourself up for her pleasure, she’s not worth your time or your thoughts. Young brother in Christ, you are allowed to save yourself. The world might look at you as though you’re crazy. The world might tell you you’re insane for not wanting the pleasure. But let me tell you that you’re worth it. Let me tell you that you’re allowed to have boundaries and still be a man. The strongest, most godly men I know are the ones who hold onto their beliefs and their values and the ones who have standards for their lives. You are a son of the Most High God. Young man in Christ, don’t let that girl pressure you into giving up your values for one night just to please her. Don’t let that girl make you think there’s anything wrong with you because you’re saving yourself. You are worth the life of your King. 

This also goes for those of you out there who have already given yourselves up and have decided to dedicate yourself to God once more! There’s nothing wrong with you for wanting to be pure again. There’s forgiveness and purity in the Lord. You are a child of the Most High God just like anyone else. And don’t you dare let anyone tell you otherwise. You are worth the life of your King.

I know this was long, but man the Holy Spirit really wanted me to get that out! I love you all so much! Each and every one of you are cherished by the most loving and merciful God. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like there’s something wrong with you for walking with Him!

[lesbianrey]

framing sex as one of the basic human needs is just wrong and coercive. you will not die without sex- sex is not a right. you are never entitled to sex the same way that you are entitled to food, water, oxygen, etc. it’s this mentality that fuels rape culture tbh.

[holy-sexuality]

Why is being in a romantic same-sex relationship sinful? I see why same sex sexual relations are a sin, but I don't understand why romantically involving yourself with someone of the same sex is a sin if you agree to remain celibate. (sorry if this comes off as passive or anything, i have just never heard anyone say that and want to know why)

No prob, we don’t mind.

The problem lies with emotional chastity, temptation to sin, and giving the impression that the couple is active, even if they are not. If a couple claims they are Catholic yet they are a same sex couple living together or dating, it gives a confusing and conflicting image of what the Church teaches. Not just in terms of marriage and sex, but of how authentic love connects the two.

-PSOSA

[quiet-spirit-deactivated2016010]

The point of marriage isn’t to find our missing half. It’s to help each other become all God intended. Our future, real selves. In marriage, two people partner to that end. They see the best in each other—the person God created them to be—and they push and pull each other toward that goal. Don’t get married because you think he or she is “the one.” Trust me, they’re not. There’s no such thing! But do get married when you see who God is making somebody to be, and it lights you up. When you want to be a part of that story of transformation, that journey to the future. When you are well aware it will be a long and bumpy ride, but you don’t want to miss one mile. Because you believe in God’s calling on them, and you want in.

John Mark Comer, Loveology: God. Love. Marriage. Sex. And the never-ending story of male and female. (via quiet-spirit)

[holy-sexuality]

I have read fanfic for about 7 years, and have been ignoring the sexually explicit works/scenes until very recently. Now, I can't stop myself from seeking them out. I've tried quitting cold turkey, which succeeds for a few months but then I fall back into it. Usually my re-entry starts by reading harmless, non-sexual fics, and then later devolves into reading inappropriate ones. Is there a way I can always keep it PG or should I just quit the fic all together? Thank you!

Since reading fanfic isn’t necessary by any definition, I recommend you quit altogether. If fanfiction is ultimately causing you to sin, cut it out of your life. There’s no shame in this. I myself have had to surgically remove things and people from my own life that consistently led me down a bad road. 

- Emerald

[holy-sexuality]

Thank you for this blog! I'm getting married in 8 days and following this blog made such a difference in my preparation for the sexual component of marriage. I struggle with scrupulosity around sex, and this blog has helped free me from that. It helped me realize it was not only not sinful but absolutely necessary to have frank discussions about sex with my fiancé before marriage. We've become so comfortable talking about sex and I really feel prepared. Thank you!

I’m so, so glad, anon. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Be blessed. <3

- Emerald