Iāll sit and pretend
I know someone at an intimate depth
It only makes me feel like shit in the end
Because youāre only as good as the people you consider your friends
So watch an aching past surface, and now Iām half certain
That everyone who associates with meās a bad person
Because everyone who associates with me is as worthlessĀ
Now I finally understand what it means to lack courage
And at the end of the day it just defeats the damn purpose
To share the fruit of your knowledge while completely malnourished
So Iāve been trying to let go of the things that torture me inside
Congratulations, youāre cordially invited
To a small list of things that I normally would hide
Like high school, no comprehension of enough harm
Codeine for numb hearts and patching up cut arms
But drinking cough syrup when you didnāt have a cough
Is ironic, because in reality youāre sicker than you thought
But like hearing new music and being too scared to turn it up
Virgin blood mostly told me to stop at the surface cuts
And sometimes I wouldnāt eat more than a couple bites
And sometimes Iād go a week and not sleep more than a couple nights
And sometimes Iād get so wrapped up in the ācouple lifeā
When the ācouple lifeā failed me the first couple times
But I am grateful that it seems stupid, and Iām grateful that I miss you
Because the past two years are something Iām glad I had to sit through
Because now that I know what it means to be dead I can start living again
Now that I know what it means to be dead
I can start living
I can smell it when I breathe
I can feel it when you leave
I can start living again
So Iām leaving behind the people who said I wasnāt brave enough
Wrote an album called āsleepā and realized itās about waking upā¦
titsay
snowghoul
jacobvanloon
vaporwave
areudirty
turnnoffyourmind
