✧ bodily 18 . Neurodivergent (with diagnosed NVLD + autism and quite a few others), chronically ill with fibromyalgia
✧ I feel very comfortable with the agender label, so thats what I use, and I am also bisexual !
✧ For me, I wouldn't say I was an angel in a "past life". I know I was sent to Earth but I can't remember why, but I feel no resentment towards my kind and I know I was loved back there. I can't remember what my purpose here is supposed to be, but I know it happened in this lifetime - though I don't exactly understand the concept of "life", as I am supposed to be no more than an immortal soul. I feel I have lived for thousands of years. That's probably why I have difficulty interacting with non-divine beings, but I love learning about them nonetheless
✧ "atheist" / nonspecific angel; I don't believe in the existence of a main god, nor heaven or hell, but I believe in the existence of other individual divine spirits and creatures like demons or cryptids. I know for sure I've lived among actual deities because I used to serve multiple of those higher beings, but they weren't the classical gods that are worshipped by mankind. I say I'm atheist because it's easier. And if anyone's curious, I look like a mix of those two pictures:
(art cr: kociamieta)
This is a little hard to explain because I know the one on the right is supposed to be a Cherubim, but if you ignore the animal heads, I look like a mix of those two pictures. Basically the one on the left, but with many more wings and an eye on my chest, and no animal characteristics. I also have a few eyes on my wings but they aren't that noticeable as far I recall.
Still, I'm not the kind of angel that humans view as "scary"; I remember being gentle and also pretty "chill", if you will. I respected the divine creatures around me and they respected me. I was just there (and am here right now) to spread love.
✧ I go by Aeven because it sounds so right, though i can not remember my real name
PLEASE DNI
- obviously, people who don't support otherkins of any kind
- basic criteria
- radfems
- transmeds
- zionists
- ableists, and that includes people who stigmatized mental illness
- neopronouns + xenogender antis
TAGS ! ꒱
#aeven talks (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) : just me yapping
#angel rants : self-explanatory; will put TW's for certain things !
☆
...and, that's basically it ! Idk what else to say, lol. Love yall <3
So, I'm sure everyone forgot abt me bc I'm just one of the many angelkins on this app.. but I'd kinda like to come back here 😭😭 I'm not good at keeping my social media active..
I can't wait to go home to my people and rest in the light I've missed for so long. To feel their presence like a memory I've been aching to remember. I don't belong here forever; one day I'll go back, and this time, I’ll be known.
"Odd" things I get species dysphoria from (that you truly could never judge unless you're experiencing them) as an angelkin
- Hunger. It's one of those feelings that simply aren't supposed to belong to me, because I know for sure that back home, we just... didn't eat, you know?? I do not try to suppress it, & it doesn't give me a bad relationship with food; I love food, actually. But sometimes it feels a bit demoralizing.
- Sunburns - even the slightest, least noticeable ones. I'm a radiant being who embodies light.. yet the sunlight is burning me? Hello??
- Having to Google things or learn about them at school. It's not about learning how to cook, how to bake or tie my shoes, because those are human things; but not knowing everything about the stars, the universe and its past and future? It feels so wrong, because my gods have worked really hard to create me and teach me things. I like to imagine that all I learn about science or history or philosophy is just a memory being "brought back" to me.
- Tight clothing. I don't wear most tight things because of their textures which give me BAD sensory issues (I'm autistic), but I also avoid them because they take away the sense of freedom which was already taken away from me.
- Not being able to soothe people when they're upset when I'm the definition of love and harmony. It's technically the reason why I was sent to earth; so that makes me feel useless, like I'm betraying myself.
- The sound of my voice. It used to be much more beautiful, and the fact that I'm bad at singing doesn't help. It's only a reminder of the fact that this body simply isn't mine.
𖦹ׂ ₊ 🪽 and that's all! I just wanted to share these to show that species dyslhoria isn't always dramatically tragic - sometimes it's a bunch of mundane, unexpected, subtle things that add up to the feeling of discomfort and sadness. What can feel irrational and "exaggerated" is actually very valid and deserves to be taken seriously when it's really upsetting you.
Well I started seeing myself as a angel like you suggested, and now I feel better with your reassuring post!! I am excited to see further in my journey as a angelic being and finally not just a boring human whose only last purpose is dying :3 (not making fun of y’all humans, i still love some and a lot are cute and nice)
And I have a question, just out of curiosity because I love seeing winged other kin talk about their phantom wings like idk something is just so whimsical that you feel this.. How does IT generally feels ? When you lay on your back in your bed or simply leaning against a wall, does you sometimes accidentally feels them?
— 🐏🕊️
Ooh I never thought about describing that, but sensing my wings is one of the things that make me the happiest!!
Basically, for me, my body isn't made of flesh and bone - I describe myself as a "being of light" 99% of the time. I remember my wings being feathered in "shape", but they also feel very, very light. I have at least a pair of "traditional" wings on my back, but the ones that are most noticeable are the ones under my "arms" - I don't really know how to explain it, sometimes I have trouble recalling how they actually look like. My real form has two arm-like limbs, and wings that are an extention of them. They aren't big compared to the ones on my back; they're just there.
They are one with my body - I'm aware that they're there, and they aren't numb, but there's no muscle or tissue to them. They feel warm, though.
If I ever start feeling them while I'm lying on my back, they don't really hurt or anything - but it's uncomfortable because they take up too much space, so that's why falling asleep become pretty hard lol. If they brush against something like a wall, I noticed it kind of tickles. And as for when i sit down, it's not really a problem, I can just tuck them in and they dont really get sore at all.
Generally speaking, they don't add any extra weight on my body.. but the ones under my arm can feel uncomfortable and weird, and even when they don't, they still get in the way a lot for obvious reasons. But I ignore that!!! Species euphoria >>>>> not being able to rest my arm on a table, am I right?
This. This is how I see things during my shifts !! The whole white and glowing aura, it reminds me of home🤍
And I'm still trying to figure it out, because my memories definitely include places on Earth. Animals and forests + water (rivers, the sea etc) are what I see the most, other than my home in the clouds. Which makes me think I've somehow observed and dwelled on Earth multiple times in my true body, before my soul was sent here in a mortal body. Honestly, can anyone else relate??
sometimes, being an angel is seeing the most gorgeous, gut wrenching, heavenly sunrise in the parking lot of your retail job and being drenched in the homesickness of it all.
and then having to go clock in like that didn’t just happen.
how do you know you’re angelkin, i mean before I didn’t acknowledge kin but I definitely saw myself as something more divine but I didn’t acknowledged because I was scared to be wrong, too cocky or just plain disrespectful then one day I saw someone talking about being a demonkin and looked up realizing angelkin existed too!
Do I just label myself as one now? Could I be your 🐏🕊️anon? Too (*´v｀)
I hope this wasnt sent too long ago, i dunno if my asks are working properly but YES YOU CAN BE MY ANON 🫶🏻 you can skip the parts of this that you think aren't useful to you, I just tend to use too many words when explaining myself 😭 and this is a topic that's very dear to me, especially the part about feeling like your identity's disrespectful.
Anyways - I think I found out in the cliché way, if you can call it that. Feeling like I wasn't human (ever since I was a kid), feeling like I was supposed to fly and getting frustrated that I couldn't. Also getting very mad at myself for being scared of heights, because it simply felt wrong.
How I found out:
I used to identify as a winged therian (i went from a butterfly to a dove and more), because my first shifts mainly consisted of vague phantom wings and a weird feeling that my body was lighter and floating. The thing is, I became aware of my divinity when I almost vividly remembered the gods I served. It felt like they were calling out to me because I was ready to awaken, and I did not reject their signs, because I always knew deep down that I was protected by higher beings - and that, even when I thought I was an animal, it always felt mystical and holy. An immortal owl, a butterfly who could fly a little too high for it to be realistic, a dove meant to spread peace and protect creatures. Do you see what I mean?
-> This is definitely very personal. I also understand that it can be of little help to questioning angels who don't worship any gods; however, as some in the community have said, you ARE a certain creature as long as you can say, for sure, that you identify as it. If you can look at yourself in the mirror and say you're an angel, that's enough. You dont have to rush to discover all the details about your memories, your past or your home.
About not acknowledging a kintype because it feels morally wrong:
Yeah, it took me a while to get rid of that mindset. But personally, for me, the problem was the religious settings in which I grew up in; they weren't strict, but even so, the way I had to approach Christianity wasn't healthy. So even if I strayed from it with little guilt, it made me feel like I wasn't allowed to have beliefs of my own. I felt a connection with gods that nobody around me worshipped, gods that had their own rules, their own followers and servants; I realized no one could tell me that my beliefs were wrong. They were not, because only I knew how they worked, and I wasn't going to give them up. You, too, are allowed to label yourself as an angel according to your beliefs and definitions of an angel. Things have changed; some modern sources view angels as spiritual guides and beings of all kind, not just servants of a god.
And if you're worried about being "cocky"... well. That basically implies that you're worried about how others might perceive you, but you know that your identity isn't about claiming superiority, right? If you know you don't want to appear cocky, it's clear that you don't mean to be. You can't control how people interpret your intentions, but you shouldn't let that keep you from accepting yourself as you are.
Being angelkin can be controversial. But that's because some people are close-minded, and that's not our fault.
Sometimes I really want to just like...help other nonhumans live their euphoria ya know? I'm an android, I like making others happy, fulfilling a purpose...
Like yes, I will walk you, good dog!!! Let's play catch and fetch and you can splash in streams and shake off on me and bark and howl and I won't refer to you as if you were human even once until you said a codeword indicating you're ok acting human again now.
Let me stroke you like a good kitty, I have a large pen I can pad like a pet bed and I'll give you toys to play with and a post to scratch!
Oooh You're such a terrifying creature, go ahead and chase me through the forest and I'll cry out and beg for my life as you tackle me (might even let you bite me, who knows) until I say the safeword.
Oh mighty angel let me cast my gaze unworthily to the floor and treat you with holiness and reverence for a day.
Greetings my dear elf, let us explore the woods together, please impart your knowledge on me and show me your ways!
do you care about severely disabled people who are disabled due to mental illness, intellectual disability, and developmental disability. do you care about people with low adaptive functioning? do you care about disabled people who are visibly disabled without any aids, for the way they talk, walk, act? do you care about disabled people who need 24h care? about disabled people who need almost anything to be explained to them simply? about disabled people who can't and might never understand things you take for granted? do you care about disabled people who are missing from society - who are locked up at home with family or away in institutions? do any of you actually give a shit about pw mental health conditions and ID/DD and include them in your activism?
grace in exile @homesickwings - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
