Ipk is the first and probably only itv show I’ll watch, and I was pretty young when I came out so I only really watched it as an adult now (though I did catch glimpses of when my mom would watch it back when it came out); I was struck by how bold some of the scenes were from what I assume are itv standards, scenes like the jaadu hai sequence, the guesthouse scene/bachelor party etc., was ipk revolutionary in that sort of stuff or was that the standard and I just don’t know about it; even now I’ll catch stray clips of other shows on reels and they never get me the same way as ipk does
Hey Anon,
You know what ITV was going through some great time in that era. A lot of shows were really exploring a lot of things.
IPK stands out to me further for validating lust as a powerful emotion. Usually shows like to paint love as more powerful and stuff like that but in IPK they just had a solid character write up (for Arnav), an excellent villain who played catalyst and let the chemistry simmer between the leads.
Also, they really had aesthetics. The whole using mirrors, fabrics, lighting and just the way romances are shot really started here. They were one of the first to invest in the newer tech that was coming out at that time. The effort to make a scene beautiful showed.
Another reason why IPK stands out is because ITV has gone downhill from about the middle of Ishqbaaz era - 2016/2017. With Anupama, Imlie and Ghum there's been a nearly insufferable setback to hot protagonist, intentional plots, feelz, and overall beauty.
And I'd sacrifice a lot if the show was engaging, which, tbh, majority aren't.
Also I personally felt IPK was less verbose as a show which allows me to fill in vibes I like instead of being turned off by cringe and the characters were being the way the actors played them and then the characters did settle into a romance for a solid 1/3rd of the show which makes it work.
It did fulfill its plot line and stuck to it - two impossible people meet, love, live happily ever after. But like I remember seeing the promo for Meri Aashiqui Tumse Hi and then went to wikipedia and I read murder four times.
Lol.
And then sometimes feelz are just feelz. You feel the feelz and can't feel it for any other feelz.
I think personally what made IPK stand out was the amount of characterisation that was given to both the FL & ML. There was an equal amount of care, screen time and character development given, which was unusual for itv especially back then.
The usual formula was:
Badass sanskari bahu (who saves the day and still has time to cook! 😀) + simpering clueless wallpaper husband (watches from the sidelines)
the husbands in these shows were one dimensional side characters and the women reduced to caricatures.
Arnav and Khushi were so refreshing because they feel real, I can easily imagine coming across them and having a chat. They’re believable (to an extent lol).
I adore the amount of detail that was given to them such as:
- Arnav’s diabetes, which isn’t used as a plot device but is consistent, it’s not something the writers create on a whimsy, it’s brought up repeatedly in the show.
- this might be Sanaya’s characterisation but I adore Khushi’s fidgety nature, as someone with adhd, who stims, there’s something so relatable about her not being able to sit still! 🤭
- even Anjali, as a side character, I find to be well developed and interesting. I love how her disability is shown and treated within the show, she’s not othered. It was also groundbreaking to see such an elegant beautiful woman have a visible disability and be treated with utmost respect by her family and others (Khushi and the Guptas) no one highlights it, no one treats her differently and that was so refreshing.
Such a beautifully written answer 💖 @jalebi-weds-bluetooth Love you!
The Powerful, Dominating Type: Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational
Arnav is strongly influenced by his basic type, with minimal wing influences from 7 and 9. Hence, I classify him as a pure Type 8, also called The Challenger or The Protector.
All gifs in this post are NOT by me, they're made by the these amazing people - @loveubarunsobti @phati-sari @jalebi-weds-bluetooth @arziaisfrench (also individually credited below each gif)
(if any of the folks above wish to have their gifs taken off this post, pls let me know, I'll do that!)
Here are some fun facts about type 8s. Tell me if it sounds familiar.
Basic Fear: Being controlled or harmed by others
Basic Desire: To protect themselves (to be in control of their own destiny)
At their best: Self- mastering, they use their strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring. Caring, generous, and highly competent.
At their worst: Vengeful, ruthless, dictatorial, destructive, emotionally shut off. Use any means, including blackmail or violence, to get obedience from those around them, and recklessly over extend themselves in pursuit of their goals.
(Sidenote: I didn't paraphrase any of this...its taken verbatim from various sites...did the IPK makers refer to Enneagram type 8 when writing Arnav??? lol)
Understanding Arnav's Core Personality as an 8
As their name suggests, 8s love challenges. This is where they shine, this is what they enjoy. Arnav completely embodies this - he thrives when he is fighting to prove himself, loves setting challenges for others, and admires those who manage to compete at his level. I mean, this is basically the entirety of Arshi's courtship lmao.
Another one of Arnav's most 8-esque qualities is that he is a tremendously charismatic leader with a natural tendency towards taking charge and the innate ability to inspire people to follow him. 8s act quickly and decisively in stressful situations, seeking out logical, practical solutions, and taking charge of dealing with troubles. Hence, they often become the rock to cling on to in tough times. They are willing to take the heat for unpopular decisions that they judge to be right. Full of natural confidence, resourceful thinking and common sense, they strive to use their abilities to take care of everyone dependent on them. If they are the head of a family, fairly looking after everyone's needs is important to them. All of this is why he is the Raizada HBIC when he has like 5 elders in line before him. It's not just about the fact that he is AR Designs CEO/billionaire. The Raizadas implicitly trust him to take the right decisions for them because he has proved to be a worthy leader in crisis periods.
At the same time, a source of great annoyance for his family is another of his classic type 8 qualities - 8s do not fear public opinions and can easily defy disapproval if necessary. They will refuse to give in to social conventions that do not suit them, with zero shame or fear of consequences, which can seem inspiring, intimidating, or even infuriating, depending on where you stand lol.
Also like a typical 8, he is extremely ambitious and has impressive willpower which drives him to set, and usually achieve, big goals for himself. Be it his professional ambitions (successful) or his idiotic commitment to fighting his feelings for Khushi (vv unsuccesful; try again next time).
Arnav's shares both of the core fears of an 8. First, he fears being harmed by others. This doesn't imply Arnav is a coward who runs from a physical fight...the opposite. In fact, 8s have tremendous physical endurance, to the point where they are often harmfully negligent of their own health. Arnav has shown this trait repeatedly - the hot tea incident, the multiple times he fainted due to neglect etc etc. So Arnav's fear of harm is not about physical blows but more to do with emotional harm, specifically betrayal or abandonment. 8s absolutely hate the idea of being emotionally dependent on any one and often construct strong emotional armours to push people away and hide their paradoxical inner emotional vulnerability. Ummm...yeah. The turning his head away to hide his face any time a conversation with Anjali (or later Khushi) enters remotely emotional territory. How he makes it a point of pride that Arnav Singh Raizada NEVER says "sorry" or "happy birthday". And of course, the MANY times the extent of his passion towards Khushi freaks him out and he responds by pushing her away by any means possible.
Their second fear is that 8s are terrified of giving any one any power over them - be it social, psychological, sexual or physical. No matter what their sphere of life, retaining and increasing their power is extremely important to them. And Arnav is absolutely obsessed with power and control especially in the romantic/sexual/emotional realm. The most obvious example of this, of course, is how he seeks out romantic relationships that allow him to be minimally emotionally engaged, and where he has much of the control. After the first break up with Lavanya, his indifferent reaction may seem cold and almost cruel to us (and Khushi lol) but from his perspective, that's exactly his ideal relationship - where he remains totally unaffected by being dumped and his heart isn't involved at all. And then OF COURSE his entire relationship with Khushi is defined by this fear. So many of his actions in the show are motivated by a deep fear of the sheer intensity of what Khushi, the girl he is supposed to look down on/ignore/hate, makes him feel.
He is triggered as all hell whenever Khushi proves her totally unconscious power over him (physical or emotional). Such as Diwali when the feelings he has for her almost made him cheat, an action that is abhorrent to him and he is staggered, HORRIFIED by this fact. How does he react? By doing his DAMNDEST to re-exert a measure of control over the situation. The tremendous anger he feels there comes from a place of absolute fear at his loss of control because of the Khushi feelings. Her questions about the poolside moment and the payal highlight to him just how much power she has over him and how close she is to discovering it. And he launches his campaign of trying to "win" over those feelings, trying to erase them and revert to a position of absolute indifference to her and control over himself and his surroundings. Trying to double down on his commitment to the "safe" relationship with Lavanya, one that doesn't threaten his emotional safety one bit, that keeps his heart safe and sound locked away in a dungeon somewhere. Its an absolutely classic type 8 move to pursue a course of action that is not only harmful to others, but also to your own self and in opposition to your other priorities, just so you can prove a point to yourself about control control control. He does NOT believe in marriage or want to be married, certainly not to Lavanya; he doesn't want to be rude to and hurt Khushi and doing so hurts him also; he feels pain when she thinks badly of him or cries due to him - YET - he commits to this very course. He chooses to prioritize his ego, his need for control, over all other considerations, including his own happiness and peace of mind. While on this trip, the utmost need in his mind is to prove that those feelings for Khushi DO NOT control him, even if that means he keeps making choices that are deeply emotionally painful for him and everyone around him.
And if he can't erase or control the feelings, well, at the very least, NO ONE, least of all Khushi, the dangerous wielder of that scary power, should know any thing about them. That's why he does everything to push her away, down to hurling at her that IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING. The gentleman doth protest too much.
This reading can be applied to so many of Arnav's actions, especially some of the cruellest ways he lashes out at Khushi when she has done nothing (at that moment) to really earn it. Like during the contract marriage, he is tortured by the fact that no matter how hard he tries, how much he intellectually loathes her, emotionally, he still feels concern for her. She betrayed him! The worst happened - his worst fear came true - he gave someone power over him and they used it to hurt him emotionally - and he can't even escape the cycle of pain, he has to live in it, every day he has to content with the fact that he harbours intense feelings that keep growing against his will for this traitorous person. It is a nightmare situation for an 8.
The more she starts affecting his mental, emotional and physical reactions in ways that shock him, the more triggered he gets and the more he either pushes her away or pulls her into toxic power games. This is his classic pattern from early on in their whatever-ship, from the increasingly unhinged office challenges post the red sari scene, to the farak padta hai games, to forcing her to marry him, to the entirety of the contract marriage.
It's also because of these core fears that 8s dislike any type of manipulative or lying behaviour. They do not appreciate being made a fool of or being emotionally blackmailed and will immediately be extremely suspicious of any outsider who attempts such things with them. The reason is that they ARE very vulnerable to emotional manipulation from loved ones - so they want to ensure they don't let people in who would take advantage of this weakness.
Arnav as a Stressed/Unhealthy 8
After the first Lavanya break up, Khushi hits a little too close to the truth when she asks Arnav "did you ever even love her at all? are you that heartless?" and Arnav's responds (in essence) "yes, I am heartless, and everything that has happened proved me right. love is a stupid illision and causes nothing but pain, we're better off without it". This is a CLASSIC unhealthy 8 that is totally blocked in his ability to love. Because love requires vulnerability and giving the other person power over you, which contradicts their basic drive for emotional autonomy. An unhealthy 8 is dominated by their core fears and that stops them from experiencing or expressing love in a healthy way.
An 8's hard working and ambitious nature, combined with their emotionally distant tendencies makes them prone to being workaholics and emotionally negligent. This can lead to dissatisfaction and complaints of neglect amongst loved ones. We saw Anjali complain about this multiple times, but it really hits home with Khushi post the kidnapping. After calling her the biggest mistake of his life, all he had to do was say sorry, I love you, I want to stay married to you forever, and Khushi would have forgiven and forgotten everything in an instant. His silence on the matter combined with his emotionally distant/volatile actions fans her insecurities to the point that she first attempts to, and then leaves. This breach is eventually healed only when they are able to have an honest, emotionally vulnerable communication about the nature of his feelings for her and their marriage (this is what the pearl necklace scene is supposed to be - there wasn't much verbal conversation but you know what I mean lol).
The funny thing is, underneath all that emotional coldness, 8s have a potent fear of rejection and abandonment. Subsequently, they are sensitive to any such indicators of dissatisfaction in loved ones. They hate to feel that a loved one is dissatisfied with them or misunderstanding them. This kicks in their fear that they have lost control of the situation - they may be about to be rejected and can do nothing about it. When in an unhealthy space, where they are still ruled by their core fears, they often react by resorting to bullying behaviours to assert their dominance and control over the situation. Even once Arnav, to a degree, accepts his feelings for Khushi, he still choses to woo her through "challenges" (the 24 hour track), blackmail (Buaji's house rent) and threats (I'll pick you up and take you with me if needed Khushi!). It's still extremely difficult for him to be emotionally vulnerable and communicative and leave himself open to being rejected. He prefers power games and challenges. He wants all the cards to always be in his hands.
Stressed 8s often become secretive, fearful, and guarded in their behaviours. The most terrifying thing an 8 can imagine is not merely to be cheated in love - it's to be cheated in love and then have that loved one mockingly laugh at their "victory" over them. I think Arnav does fear confronting Khushi about Shyam because, among other reasons, he can't face it if she also does a turn face like Shyam and starts a villain monologue laughing at him. He definitely knows they had some kind of flirtationship during the Payash wedding and he now believes that was her manipulating him in order to distract him - and it would be torturous to hear this confirmed from her mouth.
It's not just in the love/romance arena that Arnav's unhealthy 8 traits manifest. The Arnav we see in the beginning might be tremendously successful but he isn't exactly a mature, evolved professional. His extreme egoistic behaviour is proof of this. 8s often build up their ego as a defence against the world, becoming extremely sensitive to "slights" to their authority or self-respect. Combative and intimidating to anyone they perceive as a threat, they can become increasingly hard-hearted and cruel in a quest to retain power and "win" against threats. This is ASR at his worst.
Arnav's Journey to a Healthy 8
Khushi's love for him AND his love for her, plays a huge role in Arnav's journey to healing. 8s feel most content and secure when a loved one knows them, and accepts them unconditionally, as they are, no qualification or complaints; they are happiest with a partner, and a family, that has an instinctive understanding of their actions, their feelings, their motivations, without them having to say any of it out loud.
This is why Khushi's words "I know (that you love me) (you don't have to say it)" - both after he apologizes and before they consummate their relationship - hold so much meaning, and affect him so deeply. This is the assurance that he craves, someone who innately just gets him.
Arnav's decision making process on his second wedding day truly embody the moves of a healing 8. Healthy 8s who have overcome their deepest fears, can recognize their paranoia for what it is. They move towards devaluing the importance of "power" and "control" especially in their personal life and make a conscious choice to prioritize real needs (their own and others) over their ego or their fears. Arnav choses love over hatred, hope over fear, and that's an 8 stepping into their best self.
Evolved 8s are open-hearted and caring; they channel the best of their abilities to become passionate yet generous, resourceful yet empathetic, and authoritative yet honourable; a true leader worth following.
Wings - 7 or 9?
Like I said earlier, I classify Arnav as a purer type 8 with minimal influence of his wings. However, between the two, I would say he has a greater influence of his "9" wing than "7" wing.
The 7 wing adds a taste for experiencing life to the fullest and a gregarious, extroverted, risk-taking side to an 8s personality. I considered 8w7 for Arnav because I do think he has a taste for the finer things in life, he has a powerful charismatic aura, and is comfortable with taking risks; but ultimately I discounted it because I don't think any one in their right mind could call him "extroverted" or "gregarious" in the slightest. I also don't think he is experience-oriented like a 8w7 would be, his ambitions are more concerned with his own business, his family, and his power, not with "living life to the fullest".
The 9 wing too does not appear to be a great fit at first glance - 9s are pretty much the opposite of 8s, being peaceful, conflict-avoidant and complacent. These aren't words I associate with ASR lol. Yet, this is what I chose ultimately. The 9 wing supposedly adds a soothing, family-oriented effect to the dominating and wilful 8 personality. Arnav is definitely very family-oriented. Additionally unhealthy 8w9s often exhibit an almost scary duality - a calm, gentle nature with loved ones and then an aggressive mode when faced with threats, at work, etc. ASR/Chotte/Arnavji. Rakshas/Rajkumar. And remember Khushi's comically shocked face when she saw ASR-at-home avatar for the first time?
Early days office Arnav reminds me a lot of 8w9s. 8w9s often combine indifference with aggression, often employing cold, depersonalized violence to exert control over others. Behind their calm and seemingly emotionless demeanour hides an explosive and unpredictable temper. Check and check.
Consider the name of the 8w9: The Bear. Aggressive and scary to outsiders, cuddly with their loved ones. Firm and decisive, but also measured and cooperative. Isn't that Arnav? Especially the Arnav we are left with at the end of the show? I believe Arnav started out a strong 8 with a slight 9 wing influence, but as he matured over time, his natural tendency for the 9 wing also developed in a healthy manner, and he became calmer, more accommodating, more openly loving.
Also it’s so interesting to note how stressed out 8’s become unhealthy 5’s.
“Average to unhealthy traits of 5 include: withdrawing, being secretive, detached, cynical, stingy, critical of others.” This is Arnav to a T.
We see a lot of 5 tendencies in the beginning of the show and during the forced marriage track, after the initial 8 rage. He’s always second guessing Khushi, very suspicious and doubtful. I could go on but this will become an essay and you already wrote all of this in your post! I’m sorry for parroting! 😭
What an amazing post @chutkiandchotte I look forward to read more 🥰
I feel so honoured and delighted to have been a guest on the podcast, this was so fun to shoot and Jalebi is a wonderful host! I suffer from social anxiety (it’s gotten a lot better over the years) but I verbalised my worries to her and I have to just say how warm, understanding and compassionate she is! She made me feel so relaxed and easy, she was understanding off all my weird quirks and I really want to thank her from the bottom of my heart. Thank you @jalebi-weds-bluetooth ❤️
I don’t have the guts to hear myself to talk just yet, but I really hope you enjoy the episode. This was my first ever podcast! Please let Jalebi and I know your thoughts, we appreciate your kindness and don’t forget to share your own thoughts/opinions on this sensational episode of IPK!
I also wanted to apologise for my absence and lack of FF updates, I’ve not abandoned the story, don’t worry! I’ve just needed a little mental health break 🙏💖
This post happened because I started thinking about how, for Khushi, having the Raizadas as her in-laws is such a critical part of her personal happy ending and the healing-from-her-trauma journey.
Certainly, in my opinion, they represent a MUCH happier family unit for her than the Guptas. Now listen, this isn’t a Guptas-bashing post (though I can definitely whip one of those out, some other day maybe). But if we’re talking about Khushi’s trauma and her ultimate happy ending, we have to talk about how the Guptas treated Khushi, and that brings out some harsh truths!
If spring is the season of birth, then summer is the season growth and new adulthood. A positive season full of joy, nourishment and warmth. Summer is the ‘happily ever after’. There’s a promise in summer that is present, a feeling of an eternal paradise. The warmth represents a sense of love and passion, feelings of relaxation and easiness are in the air.
Summer is ArShi’s ultimate evolution, after all the chill of winter has melted …they’ve finally stepped into their Garden of Eden, they’re never-ending summertime. Their love has matured, grown and finally found peace.
The instability of Autumn has disappeared, the naivety of Spring is gone and the harshness of Winter doesn’t exist.
Winter is the harshest of all season, cold and brutal. It is a season that encompasses sadness, isolation and heartbreak. Yet despite the severity of winter, it is a great teacher and challenges oneself to self reflect and show resilience through the despair.
Of course, Arshi’s winter period starts the moment Arnav sees Khushi with Shyam on the terrace and it lasts until Arnav evicts Shyam from the home. Also fascinating. during winter the nights are longer and there is a feeling of darkness …during Arshi’s winter the influence of Shyam (night) is very heavy.
Autumn is a paradoxical season. A season that symbolises harvest, balance and ripening but also maturity, decline and even death. A season that ultimately embodies the unpredictability of change, and an acceptance in letting go.
All embodied in this era of Arnav and Khushi’s love, post Diwali up to Khushi’s engagement … leading into a sweet Spring. Yes, I know in nature the cycle goes Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter but that’s not the case here, ArShi’s love doesn’t get the transition period to change in to the next season of their love. It’s all out of balance, making the winter period that much more harsher.
I completely agree, this era of Arshi is perfectly comparable to autumn. In addition to what you said above, autumn, in literary tradition, also happens to be a time of melancholic remembrance hand-in-hand with stoic preparation for harsh times; taking stock of what’s happened, trying to forget the ephemeral joys of summer as you move on to prepare for the cold, hard winter ahead. To me, that’s exactly Khushi’s statement of mind in this period - trying to forget the highs and passion and sweetness of whatever she and Arnav had, while preparing for a life of duty and drudgery with Shyam (remember she was engaged to him in this period 🤢).
As you mentioned, it’s a season of contrast, symbolizing both ripening and decay at the same time. This totally makes sense for Arshi, seemingly in the absolute decline of their “romance”, both engaged to other people, denying their feelings, refusing to talk to each other. But at the same time, these circumstances only help to intensify and further bring out the passionate and irrepressible nature of their feelings.
-They get engaged to other people - and it triggers an intense and deeply emotional reaction in each of them, notifying them and the other of how deep in the rabbit hole they actually are.
-They outwardly deny their feelings - but their feelings KEEP on bubbling over, desperate and uncontrolled, all the more violent because they are repressing them. How passionately they demand to know “what difference does it make to YOU/kya farak padta hai???” even when they refuse to answer it themselves!
-They agree to never speak to each other - and that phase ends with a deeply intimate conversation about their shared past trauma that brings them even closer.
It’s the autumn of their love as (in their minds) they are preparing for the deep and never ending winter of deprivation from each other - but it never comes! Instead, they manage to break off their respective engagements, get their siblings together, and in the process come closer than ever, thus skipping the anticipated winter altogether for the “spring” of their love, as you pointed out.
Omg thank you for articulating all my thoughts (and additionally adding more depth and context!), honestly everything you said! @chutkiandchotte 💖💖
And that’s what made their winter, so much harsher, they’re autumn didn’t lead up to the natural winter. They didn’t have a sense of acceptance, letting go and closure. In a cruel turn of events, their Autumn led up to their sweet, short lived spring and then bam! Winter! With a lack of a comfortable, bittersweet Autumn to ease them into it. The juxtaposition between the spring and the winter of their love is made that more jarring, heartbreaking and tragic.
Thank you once again, for adding your amazing thoughts and analysis to this!! 💖
Autumn is a paradoxical season. A season that symbolises harvest, balance and ripening but also maturity, decline and even death. A season that ultimately embodies the unpredictability of change, and an acceptance in letting go.
All embodied in this era of Arnav and Khushi’s love, post Diwali up to Khushi’s engagement … leading into a sweet Spring. Yes, I know in nature the cycle goes Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter but that’s not the case here, ArShi’s love doesn’t get the transition period to change in to the next season of their love. It’s all out of balance, making the winter period that much more harsher.
Happy belated birthday!!!! ✨🎂✨ Hope you had a wonderful time celebrating being 25!!
Some of my favorite scenes are the comedic moments like when Khushi is stuffing the samosa in her mouth upon learning about live-in relationships or the “mango juice / par ap nahi pakra tha 😭” (ignore the terrible Hindi lol) or when khushi/Arnav are scheming to get Payash together. They had such good chemistry and comedic timing in the first half of the show when the scenes were scripted and directed correctly!!
Thank you, Dearest! 🥰🥰
And yessss I love the cute, lighthearted comedy scenes. We can really see their personalities shine through and the interactions were incredibly charged!!
I think what makes Khushi even funnier is Arnav’s straight man composure!
I want to thank @sankititaliya aka the lovely Leela for sparking this idea in my brain yesterday!
Something that I greatly admire about Arshi’s love and IPK’s writing is how thematic it is and can be mapped by so many different things …one of those things being different seasons. So this is my rough idea of the different stages of Arshi’s love through the symbolism of the 4 different seasons.
Spring is the season of hope, birth and love… a season that is symbolic of innocence, much like the innocence and sweetness of Arnav and Khushi’s love that begins to properly bloom during the events of Payal and Akash’s wedding 💐💖
Edit: interestingly, there’s also a melancholic touch to Spring as it’s born from winter, so despite the peaks of sunshine and signs of flowers blooming, there’s a touch of chilliness to it…much like Khushi’s feelings during this period, having experienced the Diwali heartbreak. We can still see the slight hesitation in the beginning of this period as she slowly begins to warm up to Arnav again.
