As long as I can remember, I’ve never not been afraid. Afraid of failure… of letting people down… hurting people… getting hurt. I thought if I kept my guard up and focused on other things, other people… if I couldn’t even feel it, well then no harm would come to me. I screwed up. Not only did I shut out the pain, I shut out everything - the good and the bad - until there was nothing.
The Spectacular Now (2013)
The words sat with him. He never imagined that his night was going to turn out sleeping with his best friend just two days before leaving for deployment.
To be fair he was a little tipsy and your legs looked especially good in the dress you decided to wear for his small goodbye get together.
He was still inside you, and your sudden urge to spill your feelings out to him was a little too much to take in at this very moment.
Of course he loved you, not in the way you did but there is something. Something as in he was very attractive to you, physically. He could never bring himself to say that you were a sister to him, he still can’t figure out what it is that he felt for you.
He would be lying if he said that he doesn’t think about you from time to time. And he’ll even admit he got off to that one time you’ve asked him to put some sunscreen on your back. He just could shake the sensation of your skin and that led him to wonder how good it would feel against his own.
Your cheeks and lips were flustered and your chest brushed against his while you were trying to compose your breathing.
He didn’t expect himself to feel nervous at the sight of your impatient eyes staring at him, turning into turmoil of embarrassment.
“Oh god” you push him off and your eyes scan the room as you’re trying to look for your clothes scattered across it.
You are doing your very best not to cry in front of him or even look at him. You had really thought he was on the same page you were. No guy is as attentive and caring as Rooster is with you if they’re not genuinely interested in that way.
He even came onto you, he was the one that made the first move, he was the one saying how beautiful you looked tonight. He kissed you and took you back to his place.
He calls your name but you can’t look at him, you're too busy fighting with the zipper of your dress to pay attention to him. “Hey, no…”.
He heard the elastic of his boxers back on his body, and his hand fell heavy on your shoulder.
“I have to go” you take his hand off you pushing yourself off the bed.
“Come on, let’s just talk about this”.
“No, I’m leaving” There really is no way to read his features. He hates that he made you cry, he hates that he can’t bring himself to reciprocate your feelings.
You look at him, you see how the words get stuck in his throat, you know he’s looking for a way to fix the situation.
“All this time you have led me on.” You choke out. You were significantly younger than him, most of the time he had to remind himself of the ten year age gap between you two. “All this time you made me think that you–”.
You stand in front of him thinking about how you're making this whole situation look. He’s not obligated to love you back but it’s pretty shitty that he made you think he did.
You stop yourself there, the last thing you want is for him to think it's a whim of yours. You take your heels in your hand and walk towards the door.
“Shit, you are important to me” He swallowed.
The palm of his hand slams the door close before you cloud even fully open it. “Just let me go please”
“Jesús” He breathed out “What good am I to you if I’m on the other side of the world” His voice got louder, he wasn’t angry just frustrated “Or what if my plane gets shot down?” You're holding tight to the door knob. “Are you going to cry to an empty casket?”
He saw first hand what his mother went through when he lost his father, he could never commit to a relationship, he promised himself he would never put anybody in that spot, that he would never have somebody worrying and waiting for him when there was a possibility of him not making it back home.
“I can’t control how I feel Bradley” You feel your tears fall down your cheeks and his warm hand resting in the crook of your neck.
“I’m sorry if I led you on” he whispered “I should’ve done things differently”.
“Different how?” Your voice matched his.
“Shit, I don’t know, you’re so young, you have so much ahead of you”. You turn to face him.
“So that’s the problem? The age difference?” You slightly push him away from you creating some distance.
“No, it’s that you think I’m the best you can do. You– you deserve something better than some military– long distance bullshit”. You’re arguing at this point, and the words are starting to burn in the back of your head.
“I get it Bradley, just stop” He looks at you, he doesn’t say anything, he just stays there staring at you. “I’m not going to beg you to be with me” your tone came out lower– lighter. “It’s your loss not mine”.
He knew he fucked up. You’ve been there for him every day for the past five years and all of that just slipped out of his hands.
Nobody was going to wait for him when he arrived back home, shit, he wasn’t going to have anybody to call when he’s away and tell them how much of a shit day he had or just to hear you talk about how boring life was because he wasn’t there.
“I’m sorry” That’s the best he can come up with.
“Yeah, me too” that’s all you say before leaving his apartment, that was it for you.
You pretend you didn’t hear him call your name, you pretend that you don’t love him, that they are just some stupid feelings, that won’t take long for them to fade away. You pretend that he didn’t hurt you as much as he did or that he just broke your heart in a million pieces.
massive congrats on 1K lola im so excited for u!!!! very well deserved, you're amazing <3
may i please request “i’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.” with rooster bradshaw? thank you so much bestieee ily
Bradley (rooster) Bradshaw x female reader
“I’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.”
BESTIE THANK YOU im gonna cry ur so nice<3
You look over at your friend when the music suddenly shuts off, leaving the crowded bar soundless aside from chatter.
She sips her beer and smiles, motioning with her head over towards the piano you hadn’t noticed before.
“Who is that guy?” You wonder, eyes narrowing.
“Just shut up and watch. He’s cute.”
She nudges you and herself forward to stand closer to the piano, and she smiles at some of the uniformed men and women surrounding it, nodding her head in a familiar greeting.
“How do you know all these people?” You whisper in her ear.
“You really need to stop missing happy hour.”
You roll your eyes playfully, taking a swig of your drink. You recognize the old song everyone’s practically screaming along to, so you join in, giggling and sipping on your beer.
“You know,” you say, as the song is winding down, looking at your friend. “I’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.” You grin, nodding towards the mustached man on the piano bench. Quite honestly, you hadn’t been able to take your eyes off him the whole time—and not just because he was the one singing and playing the piano.
“The Hawaiian shirt is kind of adorable, but who wears sunglasses inside?” You wonder jokingly.
All the sudden he whips around, sunglasses lowered to rest on the bridge of his nose, warm eyes locking with yours.
“Hi,” He beams up at you. “I’m Bradley. Or Rooster.” He adds sheepishly.
Shit, he heard you. “Hi.” You mumble out, heat rushing to your face.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
“You sure can. I owe you an apology I think.”
“Naw, you don’t, I like being called ‘cute and ridiculous’ by pretty women.”
Could I please request rooster + "just marry me already" ily and ty <3
Bradley (rooster) Bradshaw x female reader
“Just marry me already.”
ily!!! <3
They didn’t happen often, but when they did, beach days with Bradley were one of your favorites.
You’re stretched out on the towel now, boyfriend splayed in your lap, the back of his head at your chest, a human headrest.
Your fingers are threaded through his sun-streaked locks, massaging languidly. His fingers trace up and down your thigh softly, absent-mindedly.
“Hey bubs?” You speak up after a while.
“Hmm?”
“Sunscreen.” You tell him, taking your hand out of his hair—eliciting a whine from him—and into your tote bag for your sunscreen.
He turns around to face you but doesn’t reach for the tube in your hand.
“Will you, do it?” He asks shyly, sliding his aviators off of his nose and pushing them into his hair.
“Only if you do it for me too.” You raise an eyebrow.
“Of course.” He smiles sweetly.
He closes his eyes expectantly, pushing his face towards you like a child. He hums softly when you spread the paste over his skin, softly rubbing it in.
When you stop, he pulls away, but your fingers lightly catch his jaw to tug him back. “C’mere babe, I missed a spot.”
“Christ, just marry me already.” He says under his breath.
“What?”
“What.” He processes, not even realizing he had spoken aloud.
You hand him the sunscreen and lean forward. He waits until your eyes are closed to speak again.
“I said uh, just marry me already.” He speaks. “Like, I want to marry you.”
“This better not be your proposal.” You joke.
“It’s not.” He clears his throat nervously. “But if I was to propose, would you say yes?”
“We’ll see.” You tease him more, cracking an eye open to spot the pink traveling up his cheeks. You revel in his flustered state, your heart melting at the sight of it.
“Baby,” He whines, throwing his head back a little.
You groan at the movement in your bed, twisting your neck towards the source. Your boyfriend, freshly back from a mission, climbing into your shared bed.
“You’re home.” You rasp, sleep crackling your voice.
“I am.”
You scoot across the mattress to meet him in the middle, arms slinging around his torso tightly. “Missed you so much.”
“I missed you so much more angel.” He squeezes you tight, flipping onto his back and hauling you onto his chest.
Reunions with Bradley used to be much more enthusiastic, the typical running into each other’s arms, tears streaming down your faces, sort of thing. Not that you don’t have those anymore, but now it’s more intimate, relaying emotions through touch, and quiet relief that he’s home and he’s safe.
He chats softly for a few moments, telling you what he can—and maybe a little more—about the most recent mission, pausing to press a kiss to your head every few words.
It’s when he yawns mid-sentence that you stop tracing circles over his heart and look up at him.
“You need some sleep baby,” You coo, running your finger down the bridge of his nose. “You gotta be exhausted.”